“What’s for dinner?”

I whipped around with a knife clutched in my hand.

“Avi! What the hell! I almost stabbed you!”

He leaned against the entryway, smirking. “That would have been a terrible greeting.”

I set the knife down and picked up a kitchen towel to wipe my hands. “It probably would have only been a flesh wound.” I poked my bicep. “Spindly arms. What are you doing home so early?”

“Ah, my last client canceled. So here I am. What are you making?”

“Mexican street corn soup and a mixed green salad. I’m making enough for five or six people, so you’re welcome to join me.”

He glanced over his shoulder. “Okay. I will help. Just give me a minute to change my clothes.”

Avi disappeared down the stairs to his room, and I continued chopping onions. No tears for me. I’d spent so much of my life in the kitchen with my mom, helping her make her Sunday sauce, I’d become immune to the effects.

I was facing the stove, sautéeing corn and onions, when Avi came back in the kitchen. He stood behind me, peering over my shoulder.

“Tell me what to do.”

His question was innocent, but he asked it close to my ear, making me shiver.

I kept my eyes on the pan. “You can make the salad. There’s a mix in the refrigerator.”

He squeezed my shoulder and brushed past me.

We worked together, making dinner much more efficiently than I would have on my own.

“Do you always cook dinner for yourself?” Avi asked.

Stirring the soup, I said, “Not every single night, only because I always make too much and have leftovers. I’m the product of a huge family. I only know how to make big portions.”

“And it’s okay that I eat your food?”

“Yes, I love it! Seeing people loving the food I cooked makes me deliriously happy.”

Avi handed me two bowls. “Why?”

“Why does it make me happy?”

“Yes.”

I handed him back a bowl full of soup. “I’ve never really analyzed it.” We carried dinner to the dining room table and sat across from each other. “I guess it’s because I grew up in an Italian household where food was a symbol of love and nurturing. And when I feed people, I’m showing them I care, and when they love my food, I get a little piece of that back.”

Avi added two ice cubes to his soup, carefully stirring them around. “Does this bother you?”

I grinned. “Does it bother me that you’re watering down my soup and making it cold? Why ever would that bother me?”

He let out a short laugh. “I told you I don’t like hot liquid. I promise to enjoy your soup. See?” He shoved a heaping spoonful into his mouth and hummed. “That is fucking delicious, Laurel.”

My smile stretched across my face, and my heart swelled. “I’m happy you like it, Avi. I like feeding you.”

“Because you care about me?”

I stirred my soup, not meeting his eyes. “Of course I care about you. We’re friends.”

“Yes. Friends.”

I’d been pretending for days that Avi hadn’t taken me hard and fast against the wall. He’d made it easy by working late and giving me space. But now, sitting across from him, I couldn’t help but remember what it felt like to have him inside me. I watched his long fingers grip his spoon, and I swore I could almost feel the ghost of them thrusting into me so roughly. And seeing him eat my food, enjoying and loving my food, yanked hard at my heartstrings, pulling me closer to him. Which was exactly what I shouldn’t have been wanting.

“Why did you become a lawyer and not a chef or baker?” he asked.

I tilted my head. “That’s a good question. I actually never thought about cooking professionally. And why I became a lawyer...you’re an only child, right?”

He nodded.

“I have four brothers. I don’t know if Israeli culture is like this, but in my family, I was expected to be in the kitchen with my mom while my brothers and dad played ball or watched sports. And I loved it, like I said. But I’ve always wanted to be more than just that role I was squeezed into. Which you probably get because your path was laid out for you since the beginning.”

He set his spoon down and leaned back from the table. “Yes, it was. But the path I’ve followed was one I would have chosen as well. I’m lucky in that way. My career suits me and fulfills me.”

“You are lucky. I’m just now starting to believe I can be fulfilled in my career. Which is crazy when I think about it because I used to work twelve to fourteen hour days at my old firm, but I was left completely empty.”

“Why did you become a lawyer then?”

I sighed. “It’s stupid.”

“I don’t believe that.”

I wiped my napkin across my mouth. “I wanted to be taken seriously.”

He frowned. Actually, scowled would have been a more accurate description. “Who didn’t take you seriously?”

I held my hands up. “Who did? Even though I’m in the middle of the kids, I’m the girl, so I was babied. And I’m small, blonde, and sometimes a little ridiculous. Add all those things together and it doesn’t equal a ton of respect. I learned from day one in law school to compartmentalize. I became a complete hard-ass. I even perfected my face.”

He blinked. “Your face?”

I flattened my lips and narrowed my eyes, staring him down like he was dirt beneath my heel. It was harder with Avi because I couldn’t seem to compartmentalize my feelings for him, but I tried my best to wipe all my affection off my face.

“I don’t like that,” he said.

I exhaled. “You’re not supposed to. You’re supposed to look at me and realize I’m a serious bitch who will crush you if you dare question me. Did it work?”

“Yeah. I’m a little afraid of you now.”

I giggled. “Good. Then my work here is done.”

Avi leaned in, his chin resting on his fists. “And at your new job, do you have to do this?”

“No, I don’t. It’s actually been hard to get used to. For the first week or so, I was on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. People actually just do their work and let me do mine, and they show me respect because I’m their coworker. The culture is so different, it’s hard to even describe. But I don’t think I would ever go back to a firm. Being that kind of lawyer just isn’t who I am. And it certainly wasn’t good for my soul.”

“So, no more mean face?”

“You never know when my mean face will need to surface.”

His mouth quirked up. “I hope you never have to make it at me.”

I smiled softly at him. “I doubt I ever will.”

Avi helped me clean up the dishes and store the leftover soup, and then we stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring at each other. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and I tucked the same strand of hair behind my ear three times.

“Well, I—”

“Um, can you—”

We both started and stopped, laughing awkwardly. Dinner had been comfortable, but now it was like, oh yeah, we had sex against that wall over there a few days ago and we’re trying to act like it never happened even though both of us are picturing the other naked.

I raised my hand. “I was going to ask you to hang curtains in the office, if you have a few minutes.”

He nodded eagerly. “I have time.”

We went up to my office, where I’d spread the curtain panels out on the ground, along with the rods and hardware. I didn’t mention the fact that they’d been lying there for a week now.

“Do you have an electric drill?” Avi asked.

I pinched my lip. “Do I need one?”

He chuckled. “Yes, you do. Luckily, I have one.”

He ran back downstairs, and I flopped on my chair, already exhausted from this ordeal. Thank god I hadn’t tried to hang the rods myself, or I would have spent hours manually screwing in the screws. Or, the more likely scenario would have been getting one rod halfway installed and then giving up and thumbtacking a sheet over the window.

“Got it.” Avi walked in holding a big orange drill, and I had to cross my legs. He just looked so...capable.

He got to work on measuring and drilling, while I was absolutely no help. I just sat in my chair, drooling over the length and shape of his strong back and how his ass looked in his sweatpants. Even from behind, he was gorgeous and frustratingly enticing.

“You checking me out back there?” he asked suddenly.

I cleared my throat, my cheeks flaming. “Why would you think that? You’re very average. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

He leaned his head against the wall, laughing hard. “Do you know what you are going to say before it leaves your mouth, or is it a surprise for you too?”

“Mostly a surprise. Keeps life interesting.”

“That it does.”

He worked quickly after that, hanging two sets of curtains in the time it would have taken me to find the proper screws. I gave him a round of applause when he turned around.

“Very impressive.”

He bowed. “At your service, princess.”

I covered my face. “No! What did I say about calling me princess?”

“Only when I’m inside you.”

It was five words. Perfectly innocent words. But put together in that way, with his rolling hills accent and deep, smooth voice, they sounded like sex and erotica and temptation.

“You make me forget what’s a good idea and bad idea.” I dropped my hands, looking up at him.

He exhaled through his nose and gave me a tepid smile. “I’m only being your friend and hanging your curtains.”

I returned a much warmer smile. “I know, and you’re awesome at both.”

“Good. Because as much as I liked what we did down there…” he pointed toward the stairs and the scene of the crime, “I want this with you too. I want to hang out with you and do shit you need done.”

“I want that too. I mean, who wouldn’t like watching you do shit for them?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought I was average?”

“Are you fishing?”

“Maybe I am. Maybe I need you to say something nice to me right now.”

I uncrossed and recrossed my legs. “Isn’t it enough that my mind is constantly filled with filthy thoughts about you?”

A startled laugh escaped him. “I guess it is, now that I know you’re having them.”

“My mouth is out of control tonight, and if my cheeks burn any hotter, I’m afraid my skin is going to melt. You probably won’t think I’m so cute when my skin is dripping like wax—” I covered my face. Why, why, why had my parents drilled into my head as a kid that I should always speak my mind? They’d really had no idea my mind was a carnival funhouse.

Avi pulled my hands away from my face. “Don’t be embarrassed. You make me smile. Just keep talking.”

“I think I’ve said quite enough for tonight, to be honest. Just leave me here with my beautiful curtains and a lifetime of embarrassment.”

He brushed a hand over the top of my head and started for the door. He paused before he went out, his eyes moving over me slowly, deliberately. Then he smiled his brilliant, beautiful smile and said goodnight.

And I spun in my office chair, equal parts cringing, crushing, and completely conflicted. It was easy when I could tell myself I was just turning down amazing sex with Avi. But when I thought about tonight, the way he’d listened when I spoke, seeking to understand me and know me, I wondered if I was turning down a lot more than that.