Frannie slapped her hand on the scuffed wooden bar. “I have no fuckin’ clue!”

I tipped my beer bottle at her. “You’re supposed to be my advisor!”

“In what world?”

“This one! You know Avi, and you know me! Should I let him be my roommate?”

“I know Avi as much as you can know your coworker you only see at work and exchange niceties with. He seems like an upstanding gentleman, but what do I know?” Frannie smiled over my shoulder, so I turned, knowing who I’d see.

I smiled as Frannie’s giant, hunky boyfriend, James, came wandering over from the customers he’d been serving at the back of the bar. He went right to her and swept her into his arms as if he hadn’t just seen her that morning.

“Hey, big fella,” I cooed. James brought out the flirt in me. He was just so big and manly, yet so sweet and innocent. Frannie didn’t seem to mind that I flirted my face off with him, and I couldn’t actually help it most of the time.

James turned to me with his arm around Frannie’s slim waist and tipped his head. “Laurel. How are you?”

“Much better now that you’re here.”

Frannie sputtered out a laugh. “When are you two going to run away together?”

I laughed. “One of these days. Right, James?”

He gave me a small smile. “Of course. One of these days.”

Frannie leaned against her man, nuzzling her face into his thick, auburn beard. “Maybe James can be your advisor.”

I perked up. “Yes! James, advise me!”

He let out a low rumble from deep in his chest and stroked his beard. “I can try.”

I took a deep breath and launched into the whirlwind that was Avi. “So, there’s this guy, Avi. I’m sure you’ve heard about him, right? Works with Frannie?” James nodded solemnly. “Somehow he ended up doing my hair today, and over the course of our time together, he invited himself to live in my house and help me ‘fix it.’ And I must be crazy, because I’m actually contemplating letting a complete stranger, a man no less, be my roommate. What do you think?”

James blinked and stroked his beard more. “Can you fix the house yourself?”

I held my hands out. “Maybe? If I watch enough YouTube videos, there’s a chance.”

“Would it go faster with help?”

“Obviously.”

“Will you ask for help?”

I shook my head. “Not a chance in hell.”

“But if he lives with you, you’ll accept his help?”

“Well, yes. But his help might involve completely ignoring all my wishes and doing what he wants.”

Frannie held up a finger. “He does do amazing hair. He has a good aesthetic eye.”

James looked at her. “Is he a good guy, though?”

“He’s definitely a good guy. Whether or not he’ll be a good roommate is impossible to tell. And Laurel doesn’t even know if she wants a roommate!”

James turned back to me. “Do you want a roommate?”

I blew out a long breath, sending my new bangs flying up, and then slumped over the bar. “Maybe?”

James laughed, a soft sound that reminded me of sweaters and hot chocolate on a snowy day. “I think if you figure that out, you’ll have your answer.”

“So, you’re not going to figure it out for me?” I whined.

“Sorry, Laurel.” He kissed the side of Frannie’s head. “Did you tell her?”

“I was waiting for her to notice,” Frannie replied.

My eyes bounced back and forth between them. I was obviously the “her,” but I was clueless as to what they were talking about.

“What?” I asked.

Frannie giggled and held out her left hand. “James and I are getting married!”

I pulled her hand to my face, examining the understated solitaire diamond on a plain platinum band. The ring gave her long, graceful hand a new elegance.

“It’s perfect,” I whispered. I met her eyes with tears in my own, then pulled her into a tight hug. She had become like a sister to me over the last few years, and I knew firsthand all she’d overcome to have a stable relationship with her wonderful man. I couldn’t stop the ball of melancholy forming in my gut, but I could push it down until later.

“Isn’t it?” she whispered back.

I let her go and hugged James...or attempted to. My stumpy arms barely made it around his thick shoulders. I saw a documentary once about a man who trained bears, and he was so comfortable with them, he let them hug him. I always thought it would be snuggly to be hugged by a bear—dangerous and probably incredibly unwise, but snuggly nonetheless. Being hugged by James was probably as close as I’d ever come to the feeling, and it was lovely.

“I’m so happy for you both!” I said, my voice thick with emotion.

“Thank you,” James said, then kissed Frannie’s temple again. “I’m going to get back to work. It was good seeing you, Laurel.”

I smiled at my friend and was almost knocked over by a wave of self-pity. We’d been two bad-at-love peas in a pod, but like our friends Rachel and Eliza, she’d moved on while I stagnated. I was all alone in my stupid pod, still terrible at love with no signs of improving.

Except tomorrow was the start of the new me, so maybe the new me would be amazing at love and actually pick an available man next time.

Frannie gazed at her ring with hearts in her eyes. “I’ve never been a jewelry person, but damn.”

I laughed. “He did good.”

“Yeah, he sure did.” She looked up at me again. “I actually asked him a few months ago, but James wanted to do it himself. He’s not old-fashioned at all, but in this one case, he totally was. And you know me, normally I’d say fuck the old-school patriarchy. But he was so sweet about it—like he always is—I wanted to be proposed to. Is that weird?”

I shook my head. “Not at all. You have a couple romantic bones in your body, Francisca Rivera.”

“Maybe one or two. They’re very small and only my sweet James can make them bigger. You might say he’s my bone-er.”

We both laughed at how ridiculous Frannie was, then she told me the story of James’ proposal. He’d gotten her naked so she couldn’t run away, and then asked her. The details were so quintessentially them. Frannie had a new pea for her pod and they fit perfectly.

We talked wedding after that. They both agreed they wanted something small, maybe in the summer or fall. They’d start planning soon, but for now, they were too busy basking in engagement bliss. Apparently, engagement sex was the best sex ever.

After we shared a plate of mozzarella sticks and each had another beer, I declared it a night.

“I have to tuck myself into bed early so I’m ready for my first day!”

She squeezed my knee. “Are you nervous?”

“Honestly, a little bit. But I think it’ll be good. I’m ready for something new.”

“I still can’t believe you left the firm.”

I hadn’t actually told Frannie the reason behind my sudden departure. I hadn’t told anyone. I’d been keeping a lot of secrets since I started working there, which was so not me. Usually, I was a sharer, but I kept that shitshow strictly to myself.

“I can’t believe it either. But it was time.”

She slung her arm around my shoulders as we both slipped off our stools. “I can’t wait to hear about the new gig. Call me tomorrow?”

“I will.”

Frannie walked me to the door where I put on my coat. “So, Avi. Yay or nay?”

She shook her head and pushed my shoulder gently. “Girl, you’re on your own. Maybe sleep on it, get through your first day, then decide.”

“Look at you, all pragmatic.”

She held up her left hand and tipped her chin up. “I’m an engaged woman—very mature and sensible.”

I gave her a big hug. “Love you, lady. I’m so happy for you.”

She kissed the top of my head—she was that much taller than me. “Love you too, girl. Call me, okay?”

I saluted her. “Will do!”

I stepped outside into the chilly night, alone. Frannie was staying behind, waiting until James got off work. They lived in a massive condo a few blocks from the bar—because on top of being a bartender, James was a computer genius who’d made boatloads of money selling a couple apps to big companies. But even if he’d been a pauper, he still would have been a catch.

As much as I had a schoolgirl crush on James—who wouldn’t? He was adorable—it was all innocent. I knew, one hundred percent, he and Frannie were meant to be.

I just wanted my own James. I wanted what my friends had. I’d proven to myself and the world I didn’t need a man.

But damn, I kind of really wanted one. I realized it might not be the hip, modern-woman thing to say, but I wanted marriage and babies and a white picket fence.

I wouldn’t settle, though. I’d settled for way too long in the past.

That was done. I’d left it behind, and tomorrow was a new day.

After I changed into my flannel pajamas and tucked myself under my covers, I lay awake going over the projects I wanted to do on the house. The list was long—dauntingly long: paint every wall minus my closet, rip up the old carpet, refinish the wood floors, change out all light fixtures, and, if I got really ambitious, retile my bathrooms.

I could lie awake all night and obsess or I could push it down, just like the melancholy I hadn’t wanted to face earlier, and save it for another day. I’d probably wind up with an ulcer from all the worries and feelings I tucked away in the pit of my stomach, but at least I’d get a good night’s sleep tonight.