ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER walking through those automatic doors, it just felt wrong—unnatural—to have said goodbye to her.
You fucking idiot.
I spotted a few members of my crew approaching; their rolling suitcases sounded like fingernails against a chalkboard. Two of the flight attendants were chatting in another corner. One of them winked at me, and I offered her a slight nod.
I looked around at the lines of people. A feeling of emptiness consumed me. For the first time in years, I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to fly. I didn’t want to escape to the next destination. All I wanted was to return to that car, head back to Maria Rosa’s and hold Kendall again. Even after that whacked out inheritance shit she’d confessed to, she was all I wanted right now.
I missed her already, and it hadn’t even been a full five minutes. I’d programmed her number into my phone earlier, so I impulsively dialed it. There was no answer.
So, with my heart pounding, I sent her a text.
Remind me why we just said goodbye?
I sent another.
Because for the life of me, I can’t think of one damn good reason.
Another.
What would you say if I told you I wasn’t ready to let you go just yet?
After several minutes, there was still no response. Sweating through my polyester uniform, I decided to do something rash.
I went to the ticket counter and purchased her a seat on my flight. I didn’t even have her email, so I had the e-ticket sent to the email address on Maria Rosa’s psychic website. It was a long shot. There was almost no chance of her getting back here from the hotel in time to board. But I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if didn’t at least try.
I have no idea if you’ll get this in time, but I just sent you a ticket to get on my flight. Ask Maria to check her email account. It’s in there. We leave in just over an hour. You’d need to grab your stuff and jet back here. No pressure, but I would love nothing more than to continue our little adventure. If the answer is no, I’ll understand.
I chuckled at my attempt to seem casual. “No pressure.” What I really wanted to say was, “Kendall, get your ass back here because I can’t imagine how I’m gonna breathe through this fucking flight without you.”
Again, no answer after I tried to dial her one last time.
I headed to the pilot’s lounge to check in, get the forecast and go over the flight details. Still no word from Kendall. There was no choice but to stick to the itinerary because this plane wasn’t going to fly itself.
Checking my phone constantly as I met with the crew, it was beginning to feel like Kendall getting on this flight just wasn’t going to happen. In a last ditch effort to stall, I did something I’d never even considered doing once in my entire career: I intentionally caused a delay.
As the first officer, it was my responsibility to inspect the plane when it arrived. I created a fake concern that one of the instruments in the cockpit wasn’t calibrating properly and needed to be looked into. That resulted in an engineer having to run some tests on it. Although the inspection ended up delaying the plane for over an hour, it was all in vain. No Kendall.
I finally closed the cockpit doors, and when my pre-flight paperwork was completed, I got the go ahead for push back.
Ten minutes later, I lifted the plane to a smooth take off while images of blonde hair, honest blue eyes and the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen flashed through my brain. I wondered if we would ever cross paths again.
Once we were at cruising altitude, I decided to use up my last glimmer of hope. The ticket I’d bought for Kendall was for seat 12C. Sometimes a few stragglers boarded at the last minute. Could I have missed her?
When a flight attendant entered with water, I asked, “Is there anyone sitting in 12C by any chance?”
“Let me check,” she said.
The lives of nearly two hundred people were in my hands, and it didn’t make me nervous in the least. Waiting for that flight attendant to come back with the answer? It was torture.
The door opened.
“Actually, Captain, no. That seat is empty.”
“Thank you, Cammie.”
With confirmation that Kendall was definitely not on my plane, I released the breath I’d been holding and took to the intercom to do what I always did when I was feeling down.
But this one was for her.