CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Tammy
I huddled in the cold of my apartment. Despite the fact that it was only fall in New York, the Bronx apartment had no heating or hot water and I wasn’t surprised that the hovel was freezing inside.
Because I’ve come back to my roots. After fleeing Luxor, I caught a cab to my old building, pleading with the manager to rent me my old apartment.
“Please Luther,” I begged. “I know you haven’t found a new person yet and I really need a place to stay.”
“I dunno,” he hedged, his wifebeater dirty and stained, gripping a protruding stomach. “You broke the lease last time and we were out a pretty penny.”
I gasped, knowing that wasn’t true.
“Luther,” I said firmly, “I know Luxor Corp. paid a fine on my behalf and the building was more than compensated for the broken lease. Now please!” I begged again.
And Luther relented, but not before jacking up my previous rent by a thousand dollars, with two months prepaid in cash. So I’d practically emptied my bank account and forked over the money, only to drag myself up the rickety stairs and sit silently on the bare floor of my old apartment, huddled against the cold.
With stiff fingers, I dialed my only friend.
“Pink Cherry,” she chirped. “This is Marie, how can I help you?”
“Marie,” I sobbed, “I’ve completely fucked up.”
And some rustling sounded over the line, some fumbling before Marie’s voice came back on.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” she asked, “Sorry, I had to go into the back office, it’s fucking dark in here, who left this shit here?”
I heard something clatter to the floor and smiled through my tears. Trust Marie to come through for me even though I hadn’t talked to her in ages.
“I’m sorry I haven’t reached out,” I said weakly. “It’s just everything changed so much so fast and I got lost in the whirlwind.
“No, no, it’s fine, don’t worry,” reassured Marie. “Besides I’ve been busy with law school and working at the Pink simultaneously. You still going to school too?”
And I paused for a moment, ashamed.
“I dropped out,” I said in a tiny voice, feeling about two inches tall. “I got so caught up with Nick and Luxor and my new life that I let it slide.”
A slow, contemplative silence for a moment before Marie spoke again.
“Oh honey,” she said. “I’m so sorry to hear that. You know that you still have to lead your own life, you can’t pin everything on a man, it’s just a recipe for disaster. Did you stop going to classes altogether?”
And I choked a little.
“Yes,” I admitted. “I didn’t mean to at first!” I protested. “I wanted to keep working during the day and go to classes at night but you know my boss moved me into his building and I was going over to his place late at night,” I said, ashamed.
Marie just clucked again.
“Trust me honey, I can guess. A guy comes along and sweeps you off your feet, puts you up in a swanky place, it feels like it’s going to last forever right? But the thing is that Cinderella’s coach always turns back into a pumpkin, it’s just a question of when.”
And the bitterness in my throat was so sour that I almost choked, unable to say anything. But Marie stepped in again.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said kindly. “You can always pick yourself up, you’re not dead. Where are you now?”
“At my old place,” I whispered, still huddled on the floor of the bare apartment.
“That dump?” she said, her voice wry. “That place that has the mice and cockroaches?”
I surveyed the floor in front of me. Thank god, nothing was skittering around at the moment, just a loose cupboard door dangling sadly, waving slightly in the cold air.
“No, no rodents or insects right now,” I said dully, the energy seeping out of me once more.
And I could almost hear the blonde shaking her head in pity.
“Honey, why don’t you come down to the Pink Cherry and we’ll chat?” she said. “It’s cozy here, we have comfy sofas, and I just got a new stash of some awesome Ceylon tea. We’ll have a cup and you’ll feel better,” she said persuasively.
I checked my metro ticket. Yep, just enough for two rides, one down and one back. I felt exhausted, and sipping some tea with a friend while letting my weary bones relax would be just the thing.
“Thanks,” I said quietly. “I’ll be there in about forty-five, leaving now.”
And scrambling to my feet, I hugged myself in the cold of the apartment. Another chilly stream of air seeped in through the window and I shivered all the way down to my bones, my hands ice cold, my body shaking with uncontrollable tremors. The thing is, I didn’t know if the tremors were from the freeze … or from missing Nick, my life, my love.