I’m going to choose.

I’m going to choose.

I’m going to choose… Max.

No, I’m going to choose Thad.

No…

Ugh.

I should just hide under my bed and never come out again. How did things get so fucked up so badly so quickly? All I did was go to my damn high school reunion and now I have two secret boyfriends. For now, anyway…

My toe catches on the top step as I enter my building.

“Fuck!” I gasp. I trip upward, nearly falling, but I manage to balance myself with the door handle. “Son-of-a-fucking…”

I look forward, making eye contact with an amused man standing by the mailboxes. Must be a neighbor. I mean… I think it’s a neighbor. I don’t really know anyone in my building but if he does live here, I’m forever going to be known as the ditsy bitch who trips up the stairs and curses like an off-duty teacher.

“Hi,” I say with a nod. “How are ya?”

He gives me a nod and keeps on walking out the door.

Ughh.

I fish into my purse for my keys and walk over to the mailboxes. Box 29. If Thad is dependable, then my apartment key should be in here. Hey, if it’s not, then I’ll see it as a sign. Yeah, a sign! A sign from fate itself telling me that Thad is all wrong for me and that I should choose Max.

I insert the key and turn the lock, feeling a quick thump in my chest as I pull it open.

My key is inside.

I pause, trying to gauge my reaction. Am I excited? Or disappointed? If I’m excited, then that must mean I love Thad more, right? I’m so happy he’s the dependable and responsible guy I think he is. He’s perfect. It’s decided. Or… am I disappointed because if fate chooses Thad, then that means it didn’t choose Max?

I stare at the key and feel nothing.

Ughhh.

I snatch it out of the mailbox and slam the door closed.

There has to be a way to do this fairly. Without breaking hearts. Not just theirs, either. Mine.

I’ve thought about it all day. Leaving Max would kill all the little dreams sixteen-year-old me had. What kind of monster would shatter the heart of their sixteen-year-old self? But leaving Thad? He’s the kind of guy I always pictured myself ending up with. How could I possibly give that up?

I step into my apartment and glance around. It’s only one damn room but it’s sure as hell been christened good and plenty lately. The kitchen table, the bed. I haven’t hit the sofa yet but with the way things are going now, I’m sure to find myself spread eagle on there any day now…

But with which guy?

Max.

No, Thad.

I sigh and kick the door closed.

I need a distraction. Some kind of menial task to take my mind off this whole fucking mess. Something methodical and repetitive…

Dishes. Those will do.

I sidle in front of the sink and turn the tap on. As the water heats up, I search for my sponge and hope it’s not stuffed somewhere underneath all these glasses and plates—

I stop and stare at the sink, feeling a rush of warmth spreading up my toes toward my kneecaps.

Max.

With eyes closed, I see him. I feel him near me. His lips on mine. His voice in my ears.

I want you, he said. I’m still not sure you believe me.

But I do believe him.

My heart stops. I turn off the water and lean away from the sink.

Was there ever really a choice?

It’s Max. It’s always been Max.

He’s perfect. It’s decided.

I take a confident step toward my bed but pause mid-stride as my eyes focus on an object that definitely wasn’t on my bedside table before.

A shot glass? With a note inside…

My heart lurches.

New York City?

I snatch it off the table to take a closer look at the photo printed along the outside. That bright, city skyline…

Thad.

I smile so wide my lips hurt. I turn the glass over and pull out the square of paper stuffed inside. My fingers shake as I unfold it, buzzed to the bone with adrenaline. I scan it the lined paper, my eyes gliding over several words of handwritten…

My jaw drops.

I lower my hand to my side as my entire body turns numb.

“Dammit,” I whisper.

Ughhhh.