It hurts.

I thought it’d stop once we made it back to my place and I fell into his arms.

I thought it’d stop after he cuffed my hands behind my back and had his way with me.

I thought it’d stop once we fell asleep with our limbs entwined and I sure as hell didn’t expect it to still hurt when I woke up in his arms this morning.

This just fucking hurts.

I walk into Melanie’s apartment building shortly before nine. I’ll be late for work, that’s for sure, but I can’t bring myself to care about that as much this morning.

I roll my fist and tap twice on her door.

“Enter!” Melanie shouts from inside.

I turn the knob but the door doesn’t budge. “It’s locked, Mel!” I shout.

I wait for several moments until the lock finally slips free and the door swings open on Melanie in all her messy bun glory. Off the shoulder shirt. Baggy pants. The faint smell of alcohol. Yep, she’s been up all night writing.

“Hiya,” she says.

I throw a sympathetic pout. “Rough night?”

“These characters… will not fuck,” she says, stepping backward and leaving the door open for me. “Unlike you, I bet.”

I close the door behind me. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

Melanie shuffles toward her writing desk in the corner and plops onto her old desk chair. “Of course I’m not.” She points at me. “Hey, since your life is basically a porno now, can I start a weekly serial based on you and your erotic adventures?”

“Uh…” I toss my jacket over the back of the couch. “No.”

“Nora Payne and the Kink Club Cumshot,” she says. “Nora Payne and the Sex-Crazed Stud Muffin. I could do this all day…”

“Please don’t.”

Trix pops up on the couch behind me with a bag of cheddar popcorn in her lap. “Nora Payne and the Backseat Blowjob.”

I gasp in surprise. “Jeez, Trix—” I pause, clutching my heart. “Wait, how’d you know about that?”

“I didn’t, ya big whore.” She stuffs popcorn into her grinning mouth and crunches it between her teeth.

I roll my eyes. “What are you doing here?” I ask.

She swallows. “Still hiding.”

“From Marcus?”

“Yeah. I’ve been here all night. Mel and I might still be little wine-drunk, so if you’re here for advice, it’s gonna be awesome.”

Melanie chuckles. “What’s up, Nora?”

I exhale hard. “Well… he’s a vet. He’s a goddamn homeless vet.”

Trix beams. “Aww, I love animals.”

I glare at her.

“Oh. Never mind. You mean the other kind.” She slinks down behind the seat again in shame.

“I don’t know what to do,” I say. “My heart is bleeding. He joined the Army. He almost lost his leg. He came home and his mom died. Oh—! And I knew his mom!”

Melanie squints. “How did you know his mom?”

“She was my English Lit teacher in high school. She made me read Gatsby and now I’m fucking her son.”

“Aww, that’s cute,” Trix says behind me.

Melanie nods. “It is kinda poetic.”

I hold my face in my hands. “He’s so pretty and smart and sexy and his story is so sad and depressing but he’s so pretty and I don’t know what to do.”

“See, now,” Melanie’s face screws up, “I’d like to help you, Nor, but I don’t understand the problem…”

“Yeah.” Trix talks with her mouth full of popcorn. “It sounds like you and your patriotic vagina already got this one.”

Melanie snaps her fingers. “Nora Payne and the Chick Lit Clit Cadet.”

“Good one!” Trix flicks a thumbs-up.

“Thank you.”

I fall into the armchair beside Melanie’s desk. “The problem is that I’m really starting to feel things for this guy.”

“Oh, no,” Melanie says, completely deadpan. “You’re falling for an attractive guy who seems to really like you. How dare you.”

“I just mean…” I sit forward. “I want to help him but I don’t know how to do that without it seeming like I pity him.”

“Pfft!” Trix snorts. “Fuck that. If we were men, do you think we’d all be sitting around wondering whether or not your mistress thinks her new diamond necklace makes her feel pitied?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Do you think our mighty man-penises give a flying fuck about her and her dainty masculinity?”

I look at Melanie. “How much wine did you let her have?”

She tilts her head. “Girl has a point, though.”

“Nora…” Trix scolds me. “This man should bow down to your womanly altar. He should thank his lucky stars you allow him to be in your heavenly presence at all. He should accept your generosity with style and grace and...” She takes a breath. “I should lie down.”

She disappears behind the couch again.

Melanie clears her throat. “What Beatrix here is trying to say is that Sugar Mama got the goods, and if Daddy wants those goods, then Daddy better put up.” She glances at the couch. “Right?”

Trix’s thumb shoots up again. “That’ll do.”

I sigh. “I got the goods, huh?”

Melanie nods. “Ya really do. And I get it, I do. I used to wonder the same thing about Robbie, remember?”

I think back. “Yeah.”

“In the end, it was a non-issue because any hang-ups he may have had over me being the breadwinner were vastly outweighed by how proud he was of me for my successes.” She shakes her head. “If Clive’s insecurity about his failures means more to him than being proud of you and sharing your successes then I don’t think this relationship can go much further.”

“You’re right,” I say, nodding. “You’re totally right. If spoiling him makes both of us feel good, then I shouldn’t feel bad about that.”

“Exactly.”

“Thank you,” I tell her.

She smirks. “I learned it from watching you.”

Trix shoots up on the couch again. “Wait! I got it. Nora Payne and the Star-Spangled Gangbang.”

Melanie raises a fist. “Nailed it!”

“That’ll be three-thousand dollars,” Trix says, looking smug.

I frown. “I need new friends.”