When it comes to horrible time-wasters, so far, my ten-year high school reunion ranks pretty high up there.

It all began with an awkward encounter with a very handsy Sally Sweet when she insisted on pinning my name badge to my jacket herself. Her thick perfume invaded my nose, leaving the taste of rotten flowers in the back of my throat and I couldn’t get away from her fast enough.

Thad, on the other hand, used the opportunity to whisper god-knows-what in her ears, prompting a few sensual moans to spill off her red lips. If he really does end up dragging her back to my place tonight, I’ll probably whip out the noise-canceling headphones to retain some sanity. My biggest regret is not bringing them along in the first place because the current soundtrack of greatest hits from the 2010 era is giving me quite the headache.

On the other hand, I may actually prefer the music over the conversation swirling around our table right now. Four intelligent guys like us… and all we can talk about is pussy?

At least there’s free booze.

While Carter describes the various shapes his new co-ed girlfriend loves to shave into her pubic hair to a very interested Thad, David takes an epic chug from his glass and turns to me. I brace myself on the inside. He’s got the shop-talk smirk on his face and I can’t say segueing from sex to my father will drastically improve my evening.

“So, Max…” he starts, “your dad was not happy about the Argento case. You sure you’re going to pass on that? Could be a career-changer.”

I take a sip from my drink. “It’s all yours, David.”

“Unless you know of some other case coming up that supposed to be bigger…”

“I don’t.”

He slaps my arm once. “Oh, come on. Don’t lie. Whatcha got?”

“There’s no other case,” I say again. “I just don’t want to work this one. That’s all. It’s not my style.”

“And what style is that?” he asks. “Because for a while now, your style has been pretty weak.”

I ignore it. “I’m just not interested.”

“Have it your way, then. I just hope I’m there in time on Monday to hear your dad tear you a new one.”

He’s baiting me. David Larkin has been humping my dad’s leg ever since we both started as paralegals. Overall, I don’t mind. It takes some of the pressure off being Keith Monahan’s only heir.

David turns his attentions on Thad. “What’s going on with you, Thaddeus?” he asks. “Seeing a lot of action up in the skies?”

“Only on a daily basis,” Thad says, puffing his chest out.

“I envy you, man,” he says. “In the hierarchy of careers guaranteed to get you laid, pilot ranks just a notch above lawyer. Not quite doctor, though.”

Carter raises his glass. “Damn right!”

“Still, all around, massive respect to you, sir.”

Thad nods. “It’s not nearly as prestigious as it used to be,” he says, “but yes, I will pocket your respect. Thank you, boys.”

“Hey, everyone!”

We all turn our attentions to the tiny voice in the center of the gymnasium. Sally stands there, waving her hands and silence spreads across the tables.

“Hey,” she says again, smiling so wide her tight face looks like it might crack. “I’m Sally Sweet but you all already know that!”

A few people chuckle.

“I just wanted to welcome you all to the 2010 high school reunion! I’m proud to say that this is the first class in five years in which every single student returned to mingle! I’ll take all the credit for that. Some of you were a little tricky to track down but once I got my claws in you…” She cackles maniacally but quickly drops it. “Anyway, I want you all to have a good time, help yourselves to the bar, and please consider leaving a donation on your way out to the Belle Academy alumni group.”

She raises her glass and about a dozen more rise with hers.

“Cheers!”

The word repeats around the gym and people immediately resume their conversations.

Sally spins in the direction of our table. In one stride, she drops the professional, perky smile and her eyes fill with devious intent. Sure, she’s Sweet, but that’s in name only.

“Here are my boys,” she says.

She lands a kiss on David’s cheek and blows one more at the rest of us.

“Hello, Sally,” Thad says, not even trying to hide the fact that he’s staring right into her cleavage.

David wraps his arm around her waist and yanks her closer. “I was wondering how long you were going to try and ignore me tonight.”

She scoffs. “I am the student body President. It was my duty to perform my responsibilities first before getting to the really fun stuff.” She leans in close to Carter’s face and nips at his earlobe.

Thad grins. “And I have been waiting for weeks to get to that fun stuff.”

Sally’s grin grows in size. “Oh, I know you have.”

“Wait…” David furrows his brow. “You’ve been texting him, too?”

Carter scoffs. “She’s been texting me since the fourth of July.”

“Max, too,” Thad says.

I silently shake my head. Classic Sally.

David loosens his grip. “What the hell, Sal?”

“Oh, no.” She throws on an unconvincing pout. “So many players, only one of me. I can’t possibly take you all home…”

I sigh. There’s only one place this is going.

“Let’s play a little game,” she says.

David’s annoyance fades as he imagines the possibilities, of which there are many. The others begin to relax as well, warming up to the idea of once again submitting to Sally as her nightly playmate.

I pick up my drink. The last thing I want to go through tonight is another one of Sally Sweet’s little games.

“I’ll pass,” I say.

“Come on, Maximillian,” David says, smacking my shoulder. “It’ll be just like Prom Night, and the Winter Ball… and the Spring Fling. Wow, Sally, you really got around, didn’t you?”

“Guil-ty,” she sings.

Thad chuckles. “Give it up, Dave,” he says. “Max here has turned over a new leaf.”

I clench my jaw at David’s grin.

“I guess that explains it, then…”

I take the bait. “Explains what?”

He swigs his drink. “Nothing. Just your dad mentioned something the other day about you going soft.” He laughs. “Didn’t think that meant below-the-belt, too.”

“Having a conscience doesn’t mean I’ve gone soft,” I argue.

“It does in our business.”

“Now, now, boys…” Sally says. “You two aren’t going to fight over little, old me, are you?”

“No,” I answer, annoyed.

“Why not?” David smirks. “You know you’ll lose? Maybe your old man was right. You are useless.”

I grit my teeth. “On second thought, Sally, what exactly did you have in mind?”

She perks up. Delight spreads across her face and she bites her lip. Clearly, I was the one she really wanted here. The rest of them are consolation prizes.

“I want to play Belle and Switch,” she says. “Two teams of two. The winners get to take me home and do whatever they want to me. The losers must attempt to take home someone else here tonight. Winner’s choice.”

“That’s filthy!” Thad nods and takes a slow, thoughtful sip from his glass. “I like it.” He taps my shoulder. “You sure you’re in?”

I lean closer. “Let’s ruin the bastard’s night.”

“Nice.”

David points a finger. “Winners choose a woman only,” he says. “No dudes.”

Sally scoffs. “That’s not nearly as fun but if all players agree—”

“We do,” we all say.

“Then, fine.” She spins around and walks to the bar, returning about a thirty seconds later with four large steins of fresh, cold beer. “A simple drinking contest, boys.” She distributes one to each of us. “First team to chug their glasses to the bottom wins the prize.”

I slide my glass a little closer, silently hating myself. We’re almost thirty, for Christ’s sake. This is pathetic and stupid but I can’t resist a chance to wipe that fucking smirk off David Larkin’s face. Guess some things will never change.

Thad bounces on his toes, shaking out his limbs for a second before hunching over his glass. Carter cracks his knuckles while David stands there, staring at me.

“On your marks…” Sally says, settling between the teams at the table’s edge. “Get set… drink!”

We launch for our glasses, shaking the table and drawing eyes from around the gym. I tilt the glass over my lips, pouring in as much as I can take before gulping it down. My tongue rattles and my throat stretches. I’m not eighteen anymore, that’s for sure…

But I can’t let David have this to lord over me, too.

I keep going, squeezing my eyes closed and blocking out Sally’s inane cackle as it echoes through my ears.

I see more and more of the bottom of my glass with each rough gulp. Something clinks against the table. Someone pounded their glass down already but my senses are too fucked up to tell whose it was. I hope it was Thad’s.

Another clink. Just two more big gulps and it’s all over.

I take in the last drop and move to slam mine down. I tilt forward just as David does, too...

His glass touches the table first.

David and Carter throw their fists in the air, yelping and belching in victory.

Fuck.

“Well,” Sally says, fanning herself, “I am officially turned-on.”

I wipe my wet lips, avoiding Thad’s disappointed face as my guts swirl.

“Congrats, guys,” Thad mutters. “Good game.”

“Well, hold on, now…” David grins with beer still smeared along his chin. “We’re not done here yet. You lost, so you gotta pay up.”

“Oh, come on,” I say. “If we won, we wouldn’t have made you pay up.”

“Bullshit.” He rubs his palms together and scans the room. “Now, let’s see…”

Carter leans in to whisper in his ear but David shakes his head.

“We can do better than that,” he says.

Sally shakes on her toes, bouncing her sizeable chest up and down. “This is so exciting. I love a good Belle and Switch!”

David’s eyes land on someone across the gym. He slaps Carter’s shoulder and he follows his pointing finger with a grin. They both nod, pleased with the choice.

“All right, boys,” David says, turning back to us. “Meet your new date for the night.”

He points through the standing crowd, past the open bar, to a table near the front entrance. Two women stand there, each with shot glasses and their own tall bottle of booze. Smooth dresses and strappy heels.

“Which one?” Thad asks.

“The one in red,” David says, smirking.

“Who is she?”

Sally’s jaw drops with delight. “That is Phoebe Pink.”

I search my memory, coming up short through a haze of alcohol. My liver will hate me tomorrow. “Who?” I ask.

“Peepee Pinkeye herself,” David says.

Pieces snap into place in my head. There aren’t many but the puzzle starts to take shape.

“The voucher girl?” I ask.

Thad exhales. “Oh, come on. Really?”

David puts on a shit-eating grin. “Really.”

“You want us to try and sleep with her?”

“Who’s trying? This is taking candy from a really fat and ugly baby, my friends.”

They laugh while Thad chews on his regretful lip. I stay quiet, squinting across the gym at the girl in the red dress.

Phoebe Pink? If I were her, I can’t say I’d ever step foot in this place again. She was the butt of every joke around here. The walking punchline two lockers down from me.

“No,” Thad says. “Pick someone else.”

“No can do, buddy.” David throws up his hands. “Rules are rules. Besides, isn’t this your thing nowadays, Max? Helping out losers to feel better about yourself or some shit?”

I glare at him, holding back the spike of rage with a closed fist.

“Go on,” he continues, gesturing across the gym toward Phoebe. “I’m sure you’ll make her entire fucking life.”

The others laugh even harder than before but Thad and I bite our tongues. Sure, ten years ago I might have found this just as hilarious. I’m not proud of that. I’m not that guy anymore.

But I’m not going to sit silently, either.

I take a step back from the table. “Come on, Thad.”

His eyes widen. “Dude.”

I turn away from them and their smiles fall a little. Was David expecting me to call his bluff? It’s possible. Too late to back out now. Not that I would.

“Max.” Thad catches up to me but quickly hits the brakes with short, slow strides. “Really?”

“We’re just gonna talk to her,” I say.

“Why?”

I look at him. “Because she’s a person.”

He considers it, his eyes flashing with a touch of compassion. “Okay, but… we’re not really going to try and sleep with her, are we?”

As we drift closer to the table, I make eye contact with her. Red hair tumbles over her shoulders, not at all like the greasy brown locks I vaguely remember. That dress leaves her neckline completely exposed, along with dozens of freckles circling her throat. Her class portrait stares back at me from the badge above her breasts but it’s a total stranger compared to the woman standing in front of me now.

Her eyes quickly drop away and her cheeks flush a bright, crayon pink. Goosebumps fire up her forearms and I feel them dance down my spine, too.

I don’t answer Thad’s question. I try to but I can’t.

Phoebe Pink grew up.

And she’s beautiful.