They were quiet again while Sway finished. The silence wasn’t forced, and it didn’t feel awkward. For the first time in a very long time, the silence was all right.

What about when he leaves? No! Brian wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t ruin what he had now with what was inevitably to come. He looked up and saw Sway’s eyes droop and his head jerk before he caught himself. He straightened in his chair and took a long drink of his ice water, as if it would wake him. That was enough to quash the heat Brian felt below, or at least ignore it enough to care for Sway like he’d said. Like he’d promised Dana.

Brian stood and went around the table, offering Sway his hand. When he slid his soft palm into his own, Brian pulled him up and tucked him into his chest. You’re exhausted. I can see it. I can feel it. You need to rest. Brian rubbed Sway’s back, feeling the sleek muscles relax under his touch. Sway sighed and wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist. He squeezed him close and buried his nose in the soft curls behind Sway’s ear. His hair smelled like vanilla and sandalwood. Brian reluctantly released him and placed a simple kiss on his temple as he moved them towards his bedroom.

He led Sway into his room and straight onto the raised platform to his king-sized bed. The dark gray comforter was already turned down and waiting. Brian had a real wood-burning fireplace that he’d insisted on, along with one wall that was floor to ceiling patio doors. He knew gas fireplaces were trendy and convenient, but there was nothing like the sound of wood crackling while he slept. Sway turned around, taking in his space. Brian wasn’t a decorator, but he was a copycat. He could mimic what he saw online and that was exactly what he’d done with the plush black and silver bedding. His masculine bedroom set was all black finishes with a lot of ivory and silver accents. Sway looked at a few of the framed pictures of him and Ford on the floating shelves he had over the love seat in the sitting area.

“Your place is really nice. Of the rooms I’ve seen, this just might be my favorite.” Sway said, gazing out of the large window into another side of Brian’s backyard. He came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Sway’s narrow waist.

You smell so good. Brian didn’t stop Sway when he leaned in and pressed his cheek to his scruff, rubbing himself against the contrasting roughness. Sway had a little facial hair, a small patch of smooth brown hair on his chin, and a little above his lip.

“When you wake up. I’ll give you the ten-cent tour.” Brian kissed Sway’s forehead, ignoring his perplexed frown. He simply took his hand and led him to the bed. “A couple hours then we’ll continue our conversation when you’ve rested.”

“I certainly hope you plan to get in here with me and you’re not making me take a nap like I’m in Kindergarten.”

Brian smirked for a second, loving that feisty side of him. Sway moved to put his hands back around Brian’s waist, but Brian’s smile fell, and he pointed sternly at the bed then he glared directly into Sway’s bloodshot eyes, daring him to refuse. Sway leaned a bit when he released Brian again, his eyes so heavy they could hardly stay open. He can’t even fake like he’s not exhausted. Brian ignored Sway’s annoyed stare and smoothed the wayward curl that’d escaped from behind his ear. I’ll take care of you if no one else will, gorgeous. Now get in my bed. Brian rejoiced inside when Sway realized that Brian wasn’t joking and he damn sure wasn’t budging.

“Fine. One hour and then I’m getting up.” Sway said around a full yawn as he toed off his sneakers. He stepped away, still smirking defiantly and pulled his thin blue T-shirt over his head before tossing it across the foot of the bed. With his head down, Sway undid the button on his jeans, those pretty brown eyes peeking up at him shamelessly.

Brian swallowed and locked his spine. I know he’s not about to…

Sway oh so slowly unzipped his pants and began to inch them down his creamy thighs.

Fuck me.

Brian watched but he didn’t move. Sway knew what he was doing; the smugness on his cute face told him so. But, Brian was stronger than any man Sway had met and would ever meet.

“Bed.”

Sway huffed, surprised his strip tease had been ineffective—it hadn’t, but he wouldn’t know that—and climbed onto the bed. When he settled down on the pillow, Brian watched him turn his head and bury his nose in the thickness, then pull it into his chest and hug it like it was his favorite teddy. It was Brian’s pillow. He’d only stood there a few seconds watching like a creeper because the next thing he knew the teasing had ended and Sway was snoring lightly.

He looked as if he belonged there. Brian couldn’t watch any longer. He saw all the possibilities of what could be, but wishing was a dangerous habit. Deep down he knew Sway was meant to be his, he was almost tailor-made for him but how could he convince Sway of the same.

You don’t even know him.

Brian didn’t listen to the devil on the other side reminding him that good things didn’t always happen to good people. Sometimes a happy ending never came no matter how much it was deserved. Instead, he cleaned up the dinner dishes and took out the store-bought tuxedo cheesecake, that Dana said was a favorite of Sway’s, and made sure it was thawed enough.

Once everything was finished, he checked his watch. Sway had only been asleep for thirty minutes. Brian moved slower, he had another hour and a half. There was no way he was going to wake him in an hour; not after the way he’d crashed. Brian went to other end of the house and opened the door to his latest project. He was converting his garage into a wood workshop. Or maybe just a workshop in general. Brian was great with his hands and building was a great way to get out of his head when things got hectic.

He had some ways to go as far as shelves and cabinets, but the conversion was done. He had heat and air, a small bathroom with a sink. He flicked on the hanging light and went to his drafting stand to look over his designs again. Everything was done by hand and on paper just like his father used to do. The old bastard may not have had anything good or encouraging to say to his boys, but he knew how to teach craftsmanship. Brian busied himself with measuring and marking off the large pecan slabs for the top of his bench. He couldn’t turn on the power saw without disturbing his houseguest, so he’d do some busy work for now. He turned on the small stereo he had on top of his tool chest, putting the volume down to where only he could hear it.

He’d been well into his work when a song he recognized came on the radio. He froze with the tape measure in one hand and a pencil in the other as he stared at the small electronic device as if it was torturing him. It was. Stop. Just turn it off. Brian went to move, to place one foot in front of the other but he went down on his left knee hard, landing in sweltering sand. No! No! Brian slammed his eyes shut, crawling on his hands and knees, trying to get to that damn radio. At least he thought he was crawling. He had to turn it off. His head swam, and the corners of his vision went dark. Count. He tried to remind himself, clinging desperately to the present. One, t-two… Brian tried to keep going but the desert came and took him before he could stop it. He swore he swallowed a mouthful of sand and dust, but no matter how he coughed and hacked it wouldn’t clear. Brian gripped his neck. It felt like someone was squeezing his throat.

“Come on King, sing it with me. You know the words,” Jenkins laughed, grabbing Brian around his neck and spinning him around. Brian fought to get out of the hold while he pretended he didn’t love that song too. They didn’t get much downtime but when they did, their lieutenant was quick to try to get them to loosen up and have a good time in the middle of a war zone. They’d gotten orders that they weren’t to move out until the following morning at 0500, so they had the whole evening to themselves. All of them were together, his entire SEAL team and three of the Army’s Delta Force. A Joint Special Operations Unit. They were a force to be reckoned with. But, give them thirteen hours of downtime and they were a bunch of fools. The first thing their LT did was turn on his favorites. Classic rhythm and blues.

Mother, mother

There’s too many of you crying…

Brian tried to shove Jenkins off, but he wasn’t having it. He noisily sang the words to Marvin Gaye’s oldie, What’s Going On© in his ear while he gripped Brian’s neck with one hand and held a pretend microphone with the other.

“Sing everybody!”

“Don’t punish me with brutality”

“Oh, what’s going on!”

Brian couldn’t hear the silence of his home, only that damn singing. He put his hands over his ears and tried to make himself small. He felt abrasive sand and dirt dug into his bare arms. He saw his team, his brothers all singing and laughing together. Singing about the hate and injustice of the world.

That’d been their last night together. That morning at 0800, they’d been ambushed.

“Brian! Brian!”

Brian heard his name being called but the more his mind tried to climb through the confusion of lingering in the past and present, the harder the flashback pulled him backwards.

“Brian!”

The music played on, drowning out the frantic voice that was trying to save him. He wanted to come back to Sway so badly, but he was terrified that if and when he did, what he’d see in those brown eyes. Would it be fear? Shame? Confusion?

“It’s okay. I’m here, Brian. Please open your eyes. Come back.”

Brian hissed and clutched his ears harder.

The music and singing stopped and strong lean arms held him so firmly there was no way he could mistake it for it happening right now. Compact biceps anchoring him to the present. He was being held by Sway. He hadn’t run away.

“You’re okay, Brian. I got you now.”