“Our kid is a genius,” Gavin says, coming out of Maddox’s bedroom after Maddox insisted he read to him before bed.
I giggle. “All parents think that.”
“No, he really is,” he insists. “He’s only seven, but he knows every damn thing about every single Harry Potter character.”
I nod my head. “Well, he should. I’ve been reading him the series for two years now. When we finished the very last book, he immediately wanted to start it all over again.”
“It’s too advanced for him to read himself?” he asks.
“Oh, no, he can usually muddle through it,” I say. “He simply chooses not to. One thing you’ll learn about being a parent, is that there’s nothing kids want more than your undivided attention.”
Walking down the hallway, he pulls me back by my arm and shoves me up against the wall. He captures me, putting both of his arms next to my head, surrounding me with his muscular power. He leans close. So close that our breath mingles and I can smell the fruity wine we shared after coming home.
His eyes trace the outline of my lips as his tongue flits out to run across his bottom one. Suddenly, I’m jealous. I’m absurdly jealous of his tongue. He hasn’t kissed me. He isn’t even touching me, but liquid heat pools within me and my breathing quickens along with my pulse.
“Now that you have my undivided attention,” he whispers, “what are you going to do with me?”
Despite my building desire, my instinct is to run. Protect my heart. It remembers how he made me feel earlier this week. It remembers how I ached for him, how I cried with him, and how seemingly perfect we fit together. I duck my head under his arm and walk back out to the living room.
“Baylor?” he says, following me out.
I walk to the front door and open it. “Today has been really great, Gavin. I’m happy you and Maddox are getting along so well.”
He looks like he’s been slapped in the face. “You’re kicking me out?”
“Let’s just take this one step at a time. One day at a time,” I say. “Please?”
He sighs and walks across the threshold. Then he spins around, pulling me into his arms. “I’ll go, but not before I do this, darlin’.” His lips flutter against mine, tasting and teasing. Daring me to kiss him back. When his tongue pushes into my mouth, I accept it willingly and offer mine in return. We stand on my porch, making out like a couple of teenagers. He puts his arms around me, pressing his body into me. I can feel how turned on he is. My fingers find his hair as I moan into his mouth and he sucks on my tongue. Sparks ignite inside me, traveling through me to each finger and toe.
Then suddenly, he pulls away. He kisses my forehead and says, “See you guys tomorrow.”
He walks away. I watch him saunter down the steps, crunching gravel under his Doc Martens as he strides down the walk to his car. He smiles at me as he backs it out of my driveway. I haven’t moved. I haven’t breathed. He’s left me a hot mess of hormones standing right here in the open doorway.
“You are seriously not going to fuck that gorgeous body tonight—are you mad?” Callie shouts from the kitchen.
I regain control of my body and shut the door. I join Callie in the kitchen for a second glass of wine before retiring to my office.
Two hours later, after pouring myself into writing a scene about being in Gavin’s truck and experiencing my first orgasm with a man, I find myself knocking on the door of Suite 309.
Gavin opens the door wearing sweat pants. And nothing else. My eyes hungrily peruse every ridge and ripple of his chest. Then they lower further to see the growing erection that is starting to tent his pants.
“You can use the key, you know.” He smirks.
I ignore the statement and make one of my own. “This doesn’t mean anything, McBride,” I declare. “Except that I’m horny.”
He laughs and grabs my hand, pulling me inside.
Morning light streams through the windows of the suite, illuminating our naked bodies. I’m draped in Gavin, his leg over my thigh, his arm around my belly.
“Mornin’,” he whispers into my ear, turning us so that he’s spooning me. I suddenly feel vulnerable at the idea of him having watched me as he was waiting for me to wake up.
I lean my head so he can see me. “Morning,” I say.
“You stayed,” he says.
I frown. I probably shouldn’t have. It’ll give him the wrong idea.
He misinterprets my frown. “Will Maddox be worried?”
“No. On my way out, Callie said she’d tell him I went for doughnuts if I didn’t make it home before he woke up.”
He nods. He props up on an elbow. I’m lying on my back when he starts tracing my ribs with his finger. It’s not an enticement as much as it feels like an exploration. He trails a path from hipbone to hipbone, then he doubles back and traces a couple of my silvery stretch marks. Bashfully, I try to pull the sheet up to cover them.
“No, don’t,” he says. “I like them. It means a part of me was inside you.” He locks eyes with me. “Will you tell me about it? Your pregnancy?”
I sigh.
“I want to know everything, Baylor,” he says, pleading with me. “The good and the bad. I didn’t get to be a part of it. I should have been a part of it.”
“You can’t get mad, Gavin. If I tell you, you can’t get mad. And you can’t keep saying you’re sorry. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I don’t care whose fault it was, Bay. I’ll be sorry until the day I die that I wasn’t there for you. For him.”
“Me, too,” I whisper under my breath.
“So tell me,” he says. “Start right after everything went to shit.”
I take a deep breath and settle into his shoulder. He wraps an arm around me and runs his hand soothingly down my back.
“It was never a choice for me. I never considered not having Maddox. Not even for a second. When I went home from UNC, I took everything, knowing I wouldn’t return in the fall. I told my parents right away. They were supportive of me, but my dad wanted to get on a plane and hunt you down. I’d never seen him so mad in all my life. Chris had to physically restrain him while I begged him not to contact you. Not to ever contact you. I made him promise.”
Gavin stiffens. “Shit. If only he would have.”
I nod in agreement. “I had an easy pregnancy. I even started classes at the community college in the fall. I didn’t want to compromise my education. Being pregnant was surreal. It was wonderful. Every time he kicked or moved inside me, I knew keeping him was right.
“My sisters and my mom were great. They threw me a baby shower, inviting all my friends from high school. Not many came of course, because most were away at college. The few who came looked at me like they felt sorry for me. I had little contact with them after that. Skylar and Piper were always willing to babysit so I could attend classes at night or in the summers. I had my family and I had Chris.” I stretch my head up and say, “He asked me to marry him, you know. Can you believe that?”
Gavin nods. “He told me. Chris is a good man.”
“Yes, he is. He helped me get through it. He still helps me. He rented a car and drove home from UNC as soon as my water broke. Maddox was a week early. He was due on the 15th but born on the 7th. When the doctor dated my pregnancy he said that I probably got pregnant around February 21st—the second time we had sex.”
Gavin stays quiet, hanging on my every word, letting me know his emotions by touching me, squeezing me or just sighing into my hair.
“My water broke while I was waitressing at the restaurant. My parents said I didn’t need to work, but I was adamant about paying my own way. And I was lucky I could work and go to school right up until the day Maddox was born. I was in labor for sixteen hours. Labor was hard—the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. But at the same time, it was also the very best day of my life.”
I don’t look up at Gavin because I think he might be crying. I feel his chest heave next to me. “Being a mom came naturally to me, even at nineteen. Probably because I had such a great mom myself. And as Maddox got older and I got further into my education, I realized I didn’t ever want to be apart from him at some nine-to-five job. So, one night when he was two, I was reading to him, and when the book was done and he still wasn’t asleep, he asked me to tell him a story. It was like when I used to visit the kids at the children’s hospital. I remembered what you had told me about how I should write books. It all started falling into place after that, and I published my first book six months later.”
He holds me tight. “You are the strongest person I know, Baylor. I couldn’t ask for a better mom for our son.”
I pull away from him and get out of bed, leaving him frowning. “I’d better go. He’ll be waiting.”
“Can I see him today?” he asks.
“Actually, I arranged for Sunday brunch with my family to be here at Mitchell’s. I thought you might like to join us.”
“You’re not taking me to the firing squad, are you darlin’?”
I give him a weak smile. “No. They’ve all been told of the circumstances and I think you’ll find it’s quite the opposite.”
“Okay then. What time?”
“Ten o’clock?” I quickly pull on my clothes from last night, not even staying long enough to shower. Gavin watches my every move, confused by my hasty exit.
“Ten o’clock,” he says, as I walk out of the bedroom. “Don’t forget to pick up doughnuts on your way home!” he shouts after me from the bed.
I can’t get out of the hotel fast enough. Talking about my pregnancy stirred up too many emotional memories. I almost didn’t hold it together in front of him. When I make it to my car, with my hair still messy and my shirt untucked, I finally break down.
I cry for all the Maddox moments I celebrated by myself. I cry for the little boy who didn’t have a daddy. I cry for the heart within me that is begging to feel something but can’t.