A noise startles me awake and it takes a minute to remember where I am. A smile dances across my face when I see Gavin lying next to me. In his sleep, he’s as innocent-looking as the boy who shares his gorgeous looks.
Remembering my son, I frantically look at the clock next to the bed to discover it’s after midnight.
Shit!
I attempt to get out of bed, but strong arms come around me from behind and pull me back to spoon against him. “Stay,” he says. It’s a command. It’s a declaration. It’s . . . exactly what I wanted him to say.
“I . . . I . . .” My brain battles with my still-naked body over the words that will exit my mouth. It turns out to not be much of a fight, however, as sparks from his heated flesh permeate my entire nervous system.
“We still have so much to talk about,” he says. “Besides, I already texted your nanny to tell her you’d probably be out all night.”
I sit up. “You what? . . .When?”
“You fell asleep and you looked so beautiful and peaceful that I didn’t want to wake you,” he says. “I didn’t want you to go, so I texted Callie from your phone and told her not to expect you home.”
I want to be mad at his presumption. But my mind races back to when he did the very same thing in college when he texted my roommate so she wouldn’t worry about me. I can’t keep the grin off my face. After only a few hours, he’s already taking care of me. Just like he used to.
He holds me tight and says into my hair, “Sleeping next to you that week of spring break was the best week of my life.”
“Mine, too,” I admit. Then sadness washes over me. “How did we let it happen, Gavin? Why did we believe her lies?”
His hand traces the curve of my hip, over and over as he says, “I’ve thought about that a lot over the past few weeks. I remember being so pissed that you were spending more time with Chris than with me. You claimed you were studying with him.”
“I was studying with him,” I say. “I promise you, that’s all it ever was. Chris was a great study partner. I couldn’t concentrate around you. My mind went to mush every time you so much as looked at me. I’d let my grades slip those first two months we were together and I couldn’t risk tanking my GPA.”
“Well, I was jealous,” he says. “Maybe that’s why I believed her lies. I knew you were bogged down with school work, but that didn’t make it hurt any less when you missed more than a few of our runs.”
I nod. “I know. I was exhausted. I thought it was from all the studying, but now I know it was the pregnancy. I guess being hormonal didn’t help me make the best decisions, either. When they told me I was pregnant, the first thing that flashed through my head was our conversation on your couch during spring break. I had said something about how our kids would be attractive and you stiffened up like a freshly-starched shirt.”
He shakes his head in frustration. “I was twenty!” he says. “I needed a minute to wrap my head around the idea of kids. But before I could come to my senses and tell you that having kids with you was exactly what I saw in my future, you grabbed my dick.
“Then after everything went to shit and I showed up outside your dorm to see you in Chris’s arms, being kissed by him, I freaked. But what killed me was he just happened to be wearing a ‘Thing 1’ shirt that day, soon after you’d told me there wasn’t one.” He pinches the bridge of his nose.
“It wasn’t a lie,” I tell him. “When I bought that stupid shirt, I bought it alone. It wasn’t until after Chris and I started dating that he bought his as a joke.
“God, Gavin, even before Karen’s plot, things were working against us. We misinterpreted so much back then.”
“Of course we did. We were young.” He leans up on an elbow and I can barely make him out in the moonlight shining through the window behind me. “But, don’t misinterpret this—I want you.”
Then he backs up his words with actions as his lips crash down onto mine.
I wake up to the smell of coffee and breakfast. I pull a sheet up to cover myself when Gavin walks in the room with a tray of food. And purple orchids.
He smiles when he sees I’m awake. “I trust you’re not going to throw these back at me?” he teases.
“No.” I smile. “A lot of difference twenty-four hours can make, huh?”
In the light of day, as we eat eggs and pancakes, reality sets in. Not that I regret last night or anything. I just wonder if it was the right thing to do. Maddox is my priority. He’s everything to me. Before I can think of anything or anyone else, I have to ensure his wellbeing. Gavin seems genuine, but I can’t help worry, just a little, if this is about me, or about getting access to his son.
“Those must be some serious thoughts you’re havin’,” he says, with a sexy southern drawl that hasn’t completely disappeared, despite his move to the west coast.
I nod and put my food down, moving the tray off to the side. “I have to think about Maddox, Gavin. I have to do what’s best for him. And I can’t help but wonder if all of this”—I gesture to the bed we’re still sitting on— “is just a way to . . . to . . .”
“Hold on there,” he interrupts. “I know what you’re thinking and you can stop right now. I’m not doing this to get to Maddox. I’m not going to take him from you. Even if you say you don’t ever want to be with me, I still won’t take him from you. But let me make this clear—my intention is to have the both of you, for the rest of my life.” He takes my hand in his. “If I wasn’t sure before last night, I’m sure now. I’m still in love with you, Baylor.”
I gasp in disbelief. “You can’t love me, Gavin. You’ve known me for like ten minutes.”
“I know you, darlin’,” he says. “I know your every expression. I know your scent. I know what makes you squirm under me.” He points to my discarded breakfast tray. “I know how you like your eggs. I know you are a generous and kind person. And most of all, based on that incredible photo album, I know you’re a great mom to our kid.” He takes my other hand so that he’s now holding both. “I love you,” he repeats. “I think I’ve always loved you—even when I hated you.”
I frown and resist the chink he tries to put in my armor. “Gavin . . .” I sigh.
He drops one of my hands and puts a finger to my lips. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back,” he says. “I don’t want you to say it until you know you mean it. I can wait. I’m a patient man. It’ll happen, Baylor, that I know.”
“How can you be sure?” I ask, tears prickling my eyes.
He frees a flower from the bouquet and hands it to me. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he is thinking of the story I told him long ago about the purple orchids. His words from last night echo in my head. I remember everything, Bay.
“Because what we had, what we have, that doesn’t happen all the time. You’d be married by now if it did,” he says. “We weren’t finished. We’re not even close to being finished. There has only ever been one woman for me. I was your first, darlin’, and you can bet I’m going to do my damndest to make sure I’m your last.”
My chin quivers and I swallow hard. “You have to give me time, Gavin,” I beg through my tears. “Who knows how Maddox will react to all of this. He’s my priority. I hope you can understand that.”
“I wouldn’t expect otherwise,” he says. “I’ll take it slow, Bay. I want you to be able to trust me. I want Maddox to trust me. But, please don’t ask me to wait long. I’ve missed seven years of his life already.”
On the drive home, I think about the terms we agreed upon. Gavin has to fly back to L.A. for business. He does own a company and I don’t expect him to abandon that for us. He said he plans to come back this weekend.
That gives me four days. Four days to prepare Maddox to meet the father he never knew about. I’m terrified that he’ll hate him. I’m terrified that he’ll love him. I’m terrified that Maddox will bond with him and then Gavin will rip his heart out by leaving.
How can he claim to love me? He doesn’t know me anymore. He doesn’t understand that I gave up the capability of loving a man eight years ago. He said he’s sure I will love him back, but when he finds out I can’t; when he finds out that piece of me died when I was eighteen, will he want me then?