Chapter Thirty-Six
Bailey
“What the hell is in this bag?” Xander exclaimed, lifting my backpack with both hands.
I laughed watching him struggle, knowing I’d carried that thing up the mountain in a storm.
“I brought some things for you,” I admitted, feeling that there was no better time than the present to bring up his PTSD.
Xander looked surprised as he set the bag down onto the couch. He opened the top, peeked inside, and then looked up at me with confusion.
“What did you bring me?” he asked.
I moved towards the couch, reaching into my bag, and pulled out a stack of books. I’d visited the local book store, purchasing every book they had on PTSD, and even printed out about a dozen articles and pages from the forums that helped me.
“I thought these could help,” I smiled, handing the stack to Xander.
He didn’t look excited or even impressed as he read the titles of the top books.
“What am I supposed to do with these?” he questioned, a sour look inching onto his face.
“Read them. I thought they could help,” I insisted.
“You’ve helped. That’s all I need,” he grumbled.
“Well, you want to get off this mountain eventually, don’t you?” I asked, worried that maybe I was wrong.
Maybe Xander has no desire to ever leave his secluded lifestyle. If that’s true, where does that leave me? Us?
Liam walked through the front door, stopping as he stared towards Xander and I.
“Everything okay?” he questioned.
I knew he and Xander were close, and if he’d been here with him all this time, he knew what kind of troubles he suffered from. Hell, he was there with him, through it all, or at least most of it. There was a good chance that he’d been through the same hell and struggled with the same pains of reality as Xander.
“I brought some books on PTSD, but he doesn’t want them,” I pouted.
Liam shook his head, walked towards Xander, and took the books from his hands.
“Here, this is a damn good book. It helped me tons,” he said, shoving the thickest one back towards Xander.
“You read this shit?” Xander snapped.
“Of course. It was part of my therapy,” he admitted.
I was so relieved to see Liam so open, and so eagerly pushing Xander towards the same goals as me.
“I’ve been telling him to find someone to talk to,” Liam told me.
“I don’t need someone to talk to,” Xander argued.
My blood was starting to boil at his stubbornness, but I remembered what my dad had told me. I had barely scratched the surface of Xander’s pain, and there was a good chance he hadn’t even come close to recognizing all his disorders.
I took a deep breath while Liam laughed at his friend.
“We all need someone to talk to,” Liam encouraged.
“I’ve got you, and I’ve got Bailey,” he sighed.
“You need a professional. Trust me, brother,” Liam pleaded. “It doesn’t make you a lesser man to admit you need help.”
I smiled, reaching my hand out to Xander’s arm, stroking it gently to let him know I cared about him, that I was there for him.
“I came back up here, not only because I missed you, but because I was hopeful we could work on getting to a place where we could have a future,” I confessed.
Xander’s eyes widened on mine and glossed over as if they were welling with tears. My heart swelled as I took his hand, squeezing it tightly.
“Okay. I’ll do it,” Xander finally agreed.
Liam slapped him on the back cheerfully, and then fell onto the couch.
“You have no idea how happy that makes me,” Liam boasted.
“Me too,” I sighed.
Xander pulled me into his arms, his hug so tight I gasped for air with the squeeze.
“I’ll call Lila and get her to set something up,” I announced.
“I really don’t want to go into town for these sessions,” Xander pushed back.
“Well, you can’t expect the counselor to climb this mountain, brother,” Liam chuckled.
“I’ll find someone that uses Skype,” I suggested.
Liam lit up at the idea, and even Xander seemed to warm to it.
I used Xander’s phone to call Lila since mine didn’t have service. I told her what I needed, and she agreed to find someone that would make a good fit for Xander.
“How are things going?” Lila asked.
“Amazing,” I gushed.
“I’m so happy for you, Bailey,” she breathed.
“Why don’t you come up here and visit?” I offered.
“I may take you up on that,” she agreed before we hung up.
It was all settled, Xander would start counseling, eventually hoping to have it set him free from his secluded lifestyle and help him begin a new life with me.
Liam pulled Xander in for a long, hard embrace, and then turned to me. He smiled softly, his eyes filled with love, and then pulled me into his chest. He was much shorter than Xander, making my cheek land awkwardly against his neck instead of his chest.
“Thank you, Bailey,” he offered, and then grabbed his bag that sat by the door.
“I’ll call to check on you,” he warned Xander before closing the door.
With that, Liam was gone, leaving me and Xander to spend more time alone.