Chapter Eighteen
Ava
I was sitting in Hamburg’s class staring at the projector when I heard a loud crash. “Watch it,” a girl screamed behind me, and I looked back to see that she had a jock laying on top of her. He must’ve fallen over when he fell asleep.
He wriggled around and smiled at her. “Well, isn’t this nice?”
“Mr. Tucker, you have officially gone from an animal to a single-celled organism. Now get off that girl and get out of my class.”
He gave the teacher the finger before he shot up and walked out. That was how it happened. A student would do something outrageous in class. They’d get kicked out and never come back. Most of them weren’t even trying in the first place. They were just waiting for the right moment to show off. He was going to quit school altogether.
It was sad. They had an opportunity to make something of themselves, and they refused to take it seriously. They were averse to anything that would make their lives better, and indulging in everything that would destroy them. Didn’t they know what was at risk?
It just got me angry. The students that walked out would probably end up just like my mother, living in a ratty house with bugs and mold, trying to scrape up pennies for food. They didn’t know what they were walking out on, or what their life would be like without an education. All they cared about was how they felt at that moment.
It was arrogance, pride, and stupidity, all of the worst qualities of adolescence still dragging them behind. They’d probably never move forward. They’d regret leaving school the rest of their lives. I just couldn’t understand how they could take their futures for granted.
When class ended, Nicole was waiting for me out in the hall. She brought my favorite coffee and even had them add in a shot of espresso, which she knew I loved. Once I’d taken my coffee, we started walking down the hall. “How are you?” she asked in a sing-song voice.
“I’m doing well,” I said as we walked out into the courtyard.
“Did anything interesting happen?” We sat down at a table together.
“That’s my business. I feel like I’m on display.”
“I won’t bring it up, then.” Nicole took a sip of her coffee. I could sense that she was delaying the inevitable.
“It was spectacular,” I admitted.
“Was it?” She leaned in closer. “You really did it?”
“Yes, we did.”
“Oh my God,” she gasped. “I can’t believe you. I thought for certain you’d walk out or something.”
“No, it wasn’t like that,” I said. “I don’t think I could’ve walked away if I tried.”
“You like him.”
“I do. I really do. Oh, Nicole, he took me to this amazing restaurant, and we talked until the sun set. Then he took me back to my house, and we were together for hours.”
“I’m going to kill you. He didn’t walk out after?”
“No, he stayed and held me. Time just went by so fast. Then he was gone.”
“He left you wanting more.”
“Yes, but not just his body—dear God. He was hot, but the best part was after, when he held me.”
“Did he know it was your first time?”
“He must’ve known. I don’t know how, but he knew what he was doing, and he wasn’t rough.”
“Then he knew.”
“You know what he told me at the end? It still gets my stomach jumping.”
“What?” Nicole asked.
“He asked me if it was special.”
“That is really sweet. Are you going out again?”
“Oh, definitely. I wish he was here now. I couldn’t imagine this being a one-time thing, and he’s showing no sign of stopping either. He’s already texting me little things throughout the day.”
“Ava,” Nicole rested her hand on mine, “I want you to do me a favor.”
“What?”
“You’re young. He’s your first.”
“Wait, hold up.”
“No, listen. This is very, very important, the most important thing I will ever tell you—guys aren’t like us. They promise you the world, and give you all the right feelings, but more often than not, they just walk away.”
“I have a single mother that works as a bartender. I know what it’s like.”
“Not firsthand. You will have men testing every ounce of discipline in your body. You’ll be on top of them one moment, and ready to tear out their throats the next. Logic takes a backseat when it comes to love. You need to learn how to rein yourself in.”
“I can handle myself better than you think.”
“Not with men, and that’s not because you’re undisciplined. You’ve just never dated before. You have to learn how to maintain a healthy detachment and remember to have a healthy dose of skepticism. You just met this guy. He could be playing you, and I promise, he’s not going to stick around. You have to be ready for that.”
“I think I can walk away,” I said.
“Sure, now you can, but you’ve only been on two dates, and you’re already getting hazy. What happens if he leaves you in a couple months, or worse—a year. You’ll be heartbroken. You need to take a step back and prepare yourself for that.”
“It would feel wrong. I don’t want to hurt him.”
“If he gets hurt by that then he’s not emotionally ready to be in a relationship. Keep an eye on that. Your first time can be intense, and intensity can be bad. It changes into jealousy and rage. You need to avoid that at all costs.”
“It is intense. Nicole, you’re starting to scare me. I don’t want to analyze this. I want to enjoy the moment. That doesn’t mean I’m going into this like a blind 16-year-old, but I'm not picking it apart either.”
“It was special, wasn’t it?” she asked.
“It was. Come on. Let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.” I led Nicole to the diner across the street, and we took a booth.
“I guess this means you have to come to the game,” she said.
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Nope, it’s requisite. All the football girlfriends go. The guys get them special seats.”
“I’m not spending six hours with a bunch of breast implant candidates while they talk about how much they hate their boyfriends.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound like very much fun, but the after-parties are great. You can just go from one house to the next. The entire Greek district turns into one huge block party. There’s food and drinks, and of course, a lot of eye candy.”
“I’m stuck on one sucker,” I said. “I like him, Nicole, but I’m not going to be a part of that world, and he gets that. He hates being famous, and he knows I hate attention. It’s better to be private about these kinds of things.”
“I guess you’ve let loose. I’m satisfied for now.” The waitress walked up to take our order.
“How are you going to handle his celebrity status when things get serious?”
“He’s not a celebrity.”
“People across the country are all talking about the freshman that turned our team around. You know we haven’t won the finals for more than a decade. That’s big, Ava.”
“I can’t let it get to me. It’s going to take some getting used to, but I’ll get through it.”
The waitress came up with our food.
“It’s not as easy as it sounds. It can get really dangerous—having people.”
“She could make it mine,” I said.
“Don’t let it get to you. People are going to talk no matter what.”
“Yeah, they are.” I turned my attention back to my food. Nicole asked about everything, from his size to the way he kissed. I barely gave anything away.
“You know what?” I said when I finished my food.
“I should just flaunt it. Who cares what people think about us?”
“Exactly.” Nicole and I both got up to leave.
When I got home, my whole apartment smelled like vanilla and sex. I could practically feel Channing in the air. It made it hard to focus, so I decided to take my books to the library, hoping that the walk would wake me up a bit.
I took the back streets so that nobody would see me. There were rows of oak trees with their canopies stretching out over the road, creating a tunnel with streams of light piercing through the dusty air. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, so I took it out. “Hello?”
“Hey, sweetie.” It was my mom.
“How are you? Did you get the money I sent you? I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance to call.”
“No, it’s fine. Thank you so much for sending that to us. We have a full cupboard.”
“You do?”
“Yes, we do, and I’m making dinner right now.”
“What are you having?”
“Shrimp scampi. I’m just waiting for the noodles to boil.”
“That sounds amazing. How’s Chelsea?”
The line went quiet. “She’s doing okay?”
“Is everything alright? You kind of hesitated there for a moment.”
“Did I?”
I stopped at the end of the street corner. “Yes, you did. What’s wrong, Mom?”
She sighed, a long, drawn out gesture. It wasn’t good, whatever it was.
“Mom?”
“She’s sick. She started having problems a couple days ago, and she hasn’t been able to keep anything down since then. I set up a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to pay for it. They cut back on our medical at the diner.”
“Well, what’s going on? Is she alright?”
“Yeah, she’s okay. She’s eating ice chips and crackers. I don’t think I have to take her to the hospital or anything, but something’s going on.”
“God, I’m so sorry. Listen, I’m going to transfer you a little bit now. That way, if you need to take her to the hospital, you can pay for it.”
“No, that’s a lot of money, Ava. I can’t have you doing that.”
“No, Mom.”
“See, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you what was going on. I knew you’d do this.”
“I know that you’re the adult, and you’ve always been the one to take control, but you’ve got to think of Chelsea. If she’s sick, and you can’t pay for her, I have to help out. That’s just the way it is.”
“I suppose you’re right, but I don’t like this, not one bit. We can take care of ourselves.”
“It’s not about survival, Mom. It’s about giving you and my sister a better life. That’s why I’m here.”
“Ava, you have to do this for yourself too. I don’t want to hold you down.”
“You’re not,” I told her, “and I mean that. This isn’t just for me.”
“Thank you,” she teared up, then caught herself. “I love you, sweetie.”
“You too.”
I found the nearest study room and transferred everything I could spare. They would put the money to good use. Not one cent would be spent frivolously, and they needed it a lot more than I did. I didn’t mind helping them.