Charlie
SEEING MY MOM’S FACE BREAK as I told her all the terrible things Austen had done was one of the hardest things to witness. But it also shed light on a lot of things. I wasn’t the one who pushed her away. Then I told her the worst part.
“You thought I was dead?” Her eyes widen when realization hit.
“That’s why I never called or tried to visit you. I thought there wasn’t anyone there to call. Austen told me you both died in that accident. When I ran from Austen, I was searching for your graves.”
“Oh my God. You must have been terrified.”
“Staying was much scarier.”
She touches the scars on my face. Some old and some new.
“Why didn’t I see that? I should have protected you. I’m your mother and I didn’t protect you.”
Mom starts to cry again when I grab her shoulders and make her look to me.
“You didn’t know. He was a powerful man and a really great liar. It’s not your fault.”
“So where is Austen now? Is he looking for you?”
I push my lips together and shake my head. “He’s dead.”
Mom flies off of the couch and spins her body to me. “Oh my God, Charlotte! Did you kill him? Are you going to jail? Do we need to leave the country?”
“No,” I stop her. “I didn’t do it. Austen had made many enemies over the years, and it could have been any one of them, but it wasn’t me.”
A sigh of relief escapes her chest and her hand brushes over her tired features. I can only imagine how this would feel for her.
“There’s something else.”
“Oh, God. I’m not sure how much more bad news I can take today.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“I’m going to be a grandma?” My mom’s long fingers spread over her heart as her voice softens.
I nod excitedly and smile.
Her arms open wide as she makes her way to me, enclosing me in her embrace.
“I don’t know the first thing about babies, Mom. I’m going to need so much advice.”
“You are going to make a great mother. Nobody really knows what they’re doing when they have a baby. In fact, nobody knows what they are doing when it comes to being a parent ever. My daughter is a grown woman and I still doubt myself as a parent every day. We all make mistakes. The trick is to learn from them. I learned from mine, and I won’t ever let anyone take you away from me again.”
A knock on the door pulls us from the conversation. Before my mom can reach it, the door begins to open slightly as Rain calls out, “Can I come in?”
“Certainly. Here let me help you with that,” Mom says. She takes one of the brown paper bags out of Rain’s hands and brings it into the dining room.
Sitting together at the dinner table with my mom was something I couldn’t have dreamed would ever happen again. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t an awkward feeling in the air.
“So when are you two planning to get married?”
Looking to Rain, I thought the sudden conversation about us and marriage would make him a little nervous. Instead, he just smiles at me with the grin that says he can’t wait to get me home.
“We haven’t really had time to talk about it.”
“Your daughter just agreed to marry me this morning,” Rain says. If I wasn’t mistaken, there was a hint of pride in his voice.
“Do you think you’ll wait until after the baby is born?”
“No.” Rain’s response is quick, and it surprises me. Then he shoves a huge piece of pizza into his mouth.
Heat flushes in my cheeks, and I can’t hide the smile that takes over my face. I glance at my mom who is looking at me with a worried look on hers.
I hold onto my full stomach and groan. “I ate too much.”
“Me too,” Mom says.
She rises from her chair, so I follow, and we begin to clean up the table. Rain stands, towering over both of us.
“I’ll get it.” Then he leans over to me, takes the garbage out of my hand, and kisses my forehead. “You two sit down.”
Mom and I listen and watch as my man picks up after us. This was something even my father never did. The relationship they had was very traditional, so my mom did most of the cooking and cleaning. I can’t help but to bite my bottom lip as I watch his muscles contract through his white t-shirt while he works his way around my mom’s kitchen.
“Okay,” Mom says, grabbing my attention. “I approve.”
We both giggle. I will cherish this. When you’re a teenager you think you know everything. It never crosses your mind that your parents might not be here forever. So you talk back and tell them they’re crazy and you skip family dinners because you just assume it will always be there. It never occurred to me how much I missed my mom’s laugh until just now.
“I’ll be right back,” she says.
Rain looks over his square shoulder at me and winks seductively. I wish he would stop being so sexy. We still have a long car ride ahead of us.
“You might want this back.”
Mom places a silver box chain over my held-out hand. The aquamarine stone is just as beautiful as the day Dad gave it to me. My dad always had a special gift for me on my birthdays. Usually, Mom didn’t even know what it was until I unwrapped it. One year, it was concert tickets to Springsteen. Another year, it was a road trip for the two of us to a beach in California where he taught me how to take photos of the water. Always something special and just for the two of us. Mom always thought it was the sweetest thing, because he worked so much and hardly got to spend any time with me. But on my eighteenth birthday, he knew I was about to head out on my own adventures. He told me as long as I have the stone that he was with me and our adventures would never end. Then I remember the night Austen came home drunk and ripped it off of my neck. I looked everywhere but couldn’t find it. I was heartbroken.
“How do you have this?”
“The last time Austen let us visit you at the house, Dad found it. The car keys fell out of his pocket when he was sitting on the couch, so he lifted the cushion and found his keys—and the broken necklace.”
Rain’s large comforting hands rest on my shoulders. He’s got an amazing ability to appear just when I need him.
“He wanted to fix it and surprise you the next time we saw you.” Her attempt to keep it together fails. “He just never got the chance.” She clears her throat and brushes down her shirt as if she’s trying to straighten herself out.
I close my eyes and wish Dad were here to put this back around my neck. The cool chain slowly slides from my hand, and I feel it again, sitting against the front of my collarbone. Both of my arms rise to lift the hair off of my shoulders for Rain to connect the clasp, but I retract in pain. I forgot about my ribs in the moment. An inaudible curse comes from behind.
“I’m okay,” I reassure him.
“It looks beautiful,” Mom says, wiping her tears.
“Do you think Daddy would have forgiven me?” The sobs come without the ability to stop.
“Oh, honey,” Mom says, coming to me. “He loved you so much. You were his entire world. He would forgive you if there were something to forgive. What Austen did was not your fault either. Let’s lay the blame where it belongs.”
“I hate to bring this up,” Rain says gently. “If you want to go to the cemetery before we head back, we should get going.”
He’s right. I don’t want to be in the cemetery at night. Not like Rain would ever let anything happen to me again, but just for the creepy factor. I look to Mom, not ready to part from her.
“It’s okay. Go see your daddy.”
“Can I call you tomorrow?” I ask.
“Charlotte. I’ve been hoping my phone would ring every day. Call me.”
Holding tightly to her, I breathe in her familiar perfume and grip onto her shoulders.
“You can come visit whenever you like, Diane,” Rain says.
“Oh, I will take you up on that.”
Rain firmly holds onto my sweaty hand. We walk in the orange hue of the setting sun, amongst the evergreen trees and headstones. Now that I’ve experienced the woods, this city is giving me a headache. The constant blaring of horns and racing engines pollute the faint sounds of nature. Even though the trees are beautiful, they don’t smell as strong as they should. I need to say my peace to my daddy, and then I want to get the hell away from this city.
We stop at a headstone with his name carved into the rock. Letting go of Rain’s hand, I kneel in front of it and rub the dirt off the small oval picture in the upper corner.
“I’m so sorry, Daddy. I would change everything if I could. You were right about Austen. If only I would have listened.”
Rain places a comforting hand on my shoulder.
“I’ve got it back,” I say, placing my hand over the light-blue gemstone hanging just below the center of my neck. “Thank you for fixing it. And now, we keep moving. Onto our next adventure, Daddy. I’ve got you with me. Always.”
The cool rock beneath my hand sends a shiver through me, and Rain’s coat is placed over mine. The clean scent of citrus drifts in the air as he kneels down next to me.
“I love you, Daddy.”
I place a kiss on the acrylic photo and then stand with Rain’s help. He places me gently in the truck, and I wipe the tears off of my face before he gets in the driver side.
Unable to peel my eyes from the blur of the city in front of me, I sit motionless. “You need to talk to your dad, Rain. Talk to him before you can’t anymore. Trust me. You’ll regret it.”
“I did.”
My head spins in his direction. “You did?” I ask, excited.
“We’re having dinner at their house the day after tomorrow. You had the guts to make it right. Now it’s my turn.”