Chapter Seven
“What were you thinking, Freddie?” asked an incredulous Isabella.
“Clearly I wasn’t.”
“Something must’ve been going on it that pea sized brain of yours.”
“Thank you, sister.”
“She’s perfect for you and SO lovely. If any man treated me in that fashion you’d be furious.”
“Don’t think I’m not furious with myself.”
“What was it then?”
Freddie strolled alongside the Serpentine Lake in Hyde Park with his younger sibling. He was never one for emoting in public. Had it not been for their parents’ long and messy divorce, he doubted he’d have anyone in his life that he trusted enough to confide in. But in a strange way his parents bickering over wealth and who didn’t want custody of the children brought he and Izzy together. When it came to his personal life, he hated any external input or interference – even if it came from his devoted sister.
It was getting darker in the evenings and becoming chillier now that the reprieve of an Indian summer had come to an end. The prospect of a foreboding winter made Freddie even glummer. Cozying up by the fireplace with Tabitha was a nice image, but after his antics today that was probably a fantasy he’d have to write off.
“Fancy dinner?” suggested Freddie.
“Shouldn’t that be what you ring Tabitha to ask as a makeup gesture?”
“I’m not sure she’s even taking my calls.”
“Please don’t tell me you walked out on her to have lunch with Samantha Dawson and you haven’t bothered ringing her since?”
“I’m not feeling proud of myself.”
“Ring Tabitha and tell her that. Take responsibility and tell her you messed up. Moaning to me isn’t going to rectify the situation. Or, is it that you don’t want to fix things with Tabitha?”
“Izzy, please!”
They stopped by the Serpentine Bar & Kitchen. Isabella was starving. While the thought of a wood fire pizza and glass of wine while overlooking Hyde Park was appealing, she knew ultimately it wouldn’t help the wreckage that was brother’s so-called love life.
“No. I had a big lunch. I’ll join you for a coffee.”
Freddie hated being pushed. He knew Izzy’s refusal to eat with him was her forcing him to either contact Tabitha, or go home and sulk.
“Have a coffee with me while I eat?” he proposed slyly, in a bid to buy extra time to avoid having to deal with his conundrum.
“No deal.”
“Do you even have plans for tonight?” he probed.
“My personal life is none of your business, dear brother.”
“Don’t be like that.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing with me?” she inquired.
“She’s new to the company and the truth is the board of directors are petrified that she’s too modern. Tabitha has a fight on her hands if she’s hoping to do in the UK what she did in the States for Hastings-Bass. If word gets out that within a week of working here she’s dating the financial director, it’ll damage her reputation. No one will take her seriously - not her staff and not the directors. I don’t want to be the one to kill her career when it’s only just taking off.”
“Freddie, tell her that. Talk to her. We women are intuitive, but we aren’t mind readers. You can’t be all over her one minute and putting her in the freezer the next. It’s messing with her heart and her mind. And you must be pretty certain she has genuine feelings for you or you wouldn’t be feeling this low.”
“It’s not only Tabitha who has genuine feelings,” stuttered Freddie.
Izzy’s eyes were kind. Freddie had a stutter years ago as a child. The doctor’s diagnosed it had been brought on by stress in the family home. Having their father walk out on them and leaving Freddie as the man of the house when he was ten years old, took its toll on him as a boy. Once the speech impediment became pronounced and obvious, their parents invested in specialists to cure him. Izzy was insightful and aware Freddie must be emotionally stressed to be stammering in such a manner. He was normally confident and composed and it saddened her to see her brother in that state.
“Freddie. I can sit here and be a rock for you or provide a shoulder to cry on, but that won’t change a thing between you and Tabitha. I know I only met her briefly at the party, but she came across as a really kind, thoughtful and intelligent girl. If you speak to her, be open as you’ve just been with me, I’m ninety-nine percent certain you could resolve this matter almost immediately.”
Reaching for her, Freddie embraced his sister and kissed her forehead.
“No one enjoys owning up and saying they’ve been a fool.”
“No. But everyone respects a person who admits they’ve behaved like one,” countered Isabella.
Freddie walked Isabella to her flat in Knightsbridge. He was glad they lived on opposite sides of the park because it meant he’d have to walk back through Kensington Gardens to reach to Notting Hill, which gave him time alone to empty his head.
As he rehearsed a speech in his mind, it flitted through his brain to pick up flowers and chocolates as a means of apologizing to Tabitha. He dismissed the idea. The walk passed quickly as Freddie was flooded with the practicalities of how to engage in a relationship without it effecting Tabitha’s workplace.
The nerves he experienced outside Tabitha’s front door were significantly different to those from the other night when he’d finally got to kiss her. He rang the doorbell. Tabitha opened the door and smiled sadly at him.
“Hi.”
“Hello,” said a shame-faced Freddie.
“No flowers or chocolates?”
“I debated on whether or not to buy them, but in all honesty they don’t come close to compensating for my inexcusable behavior today. Furthermore, the fact that you’ve even opened the door to permit me to speak, demonstrates to me that you’re worth far more than the price of chocolates and flowers – however extravagant they might be.”
“This morning I wasn’t worth an email, text, phone call or meeting,” Tabitha reminded him, walking down her corridor to indicate Freddie was welcome inside.
Freddie closed the door and followed her to the small but cozy living room.
“Can I get you a glass of red?”
Her warmth and hospitality were pricking his heart.
“Why are you being so nice?”
“Because I don’t think being nasty achieves anything.” laughed Tabitha.
“You’ve every right to be mad at me.”
“Who says I’m not mad at you?”
“You are angry with me then?”
Tabitha shook her head.
“No. I’m hurt. I feel foolish and my ego is bruised. I feel silly because I badly wanted it to be real and it wasn’t. That silliness is on me though, not you. However you did play a part in letting me think there was something developing. What you said, making love to me – it was only natural that I’d believe in you.”
Tabitha handed him a glass of wine. As he went to take the glass his fingertips brushed over Tabitha’s in the exchange of hands. The glass almost fell to the floor as electricity charged between them. Freddie’s reflexes were quicker and he grabbed the stem of the wine glass before it hit the cream carpet.
Grinning at successfully avoiding a ruinous carpet incident diffused the high emotional tension.
“White wine and salt,” said Freddie.
“Is that some kind of queer cocktail that’s trending at the moment?”
“No. It’s what you use to get rid of a red wine stain.”
“Thanks to your ninja skills it didn’t come to that.”
“Least I’m good for something,” he muttered.
“Please don’t go for the sympathy vote. I’ve no intention of being rude to you, but I’m certainly not inviting you in to pat your head and tell you everything’s okay.”
“That’s not why I came round,” snapped Freddie indignantly
“Why then?”
Freddie ran his through the blonde hair on his head, ruffling his hair in a way Tabitha found endearing. He puffed his cheeks out. Apologizing wasn’t Freddie’s strong suit.
“Freddie, you look uncomfortable standing there. Why don’t you take a seat?” offered Tabitha taking pity on him.
“I’m trying to be gracious here.”
“Why don’t you say what’s on your mind? Stop focusing on the perfect delivery and just say the words.”
“I’m sorry for today.”
“I’m sorry for the whole weekend,” mumbled Tabitha.
“Don’t say that,” said Freddie, sitting next to Tabitha on her two person sofa. “It was a brilliant weekend.”
“A brilliant weekend that lead to a dreadful start of the week and has probably resulted in a situation so awkward at work that I’m going to have to look for employment elsewhere.”
“That was what I was afraid of.”
“A concern I shared,” reminded Tabitha, trying to control her temper. “It’s why I tried to raise the issue last night. You assured me there wouldn’t be an issue.”
“There isn’t an issue between you and me.”
Tabitha spluttered and tried to stop herself spraying out red wine.
“Are you kidding? You treated me as if I were dirt today. You couldn’t have made yourself more distant from me.”
“I hold my hands up and admit the way I treated you today was atrocious. It was immature on my part. I was confused and conflicted. My behavior was akin to a teenager. But you should know I didn’t go into work thinking there was a problem with you and me. Although I realize now I have created a problem.”
“Freddie, you’re making no sense and sending out very mixed signals.”
Secretly, Tabitha was pleased Freddie had been bold enough to turn up on her doorstep. She was even more thrilled when he confessed his reason for visiting was to smooth things over between the two. Frustratingly, she couldn’t clearly discern whether he was defining them as an item of ‘just good friends’.
“Tabitha, I like you.”
Freddie paused, but Tabitha had nothing to say.
“I like you a lot. Too much, too soon or too quickly I don’t know,” he continued. “I don’t want.-“
He stood up and paced the small living room. It took him four strides to cover the width of the room. He fidgeted with Tabitha’s blinds.
“I’ve been at Hastings-Bass for a long time. I have a particular reputation.”
“I knew you were a ladies’ man,” said Tabitha, punching the air.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I certainly don’t have a reputation as someone who sleeps around or works his way through the secretaries in the office. I have, however, been employed there since I graduated from university at twenty-one. That kind of history combined with my role in the company and the power it comes with, means I’m a prominent figure at Hastings-Bass. If you’re linked with me so soon after starting work there, people might get the wrong impression. They’re likely to question your qualifications and why you decided to become romantically attached to me.”
“Oh, so it’s the state of my reputation that made you act the callous bastard.”
Freddie was stunned to hear her language. He’s not heard a curse word from her during the course of their shared conversations. For her to use that phrase, he knew she wasn’t thrilled with his explanation. He had the feeling his sister had given him advice that harmed the situation rather than rescue it.
“No. It was my childishness and refusal to discuss such a serious issue last night that made me play the role of callous bastard today. What I should’ve done was not avoided the conversation when you broached it. That way I could’ve aired my concerns in regard as to how any ‘closeness’ between us might be perceived in the office and then formulated a plan as to how we conduct ourselves during work hours.”
“It certainly would’ve been a more sensible option than the one you exercised.”
Tabitha sounded somewhat pacified. She respected Freddie for taking ownership of their unenviable circumstances and making himself emotionally vulnerable in front of her by being so frank.
“Have I missed my chance to have that conversation?” pressed Freddie, turning from the window to face Tabitha.
“No. But Freddie, I want you to take tonight to think about whether you actually want to have a conversation on how we might combine a personal and professional relationship. If you do feel it’s something you want to explore, let me know by the end of work tomorrow.”
Freddie’s lips curved upwards and his blue eyes pierced Tabitha’s brown ones. Coming closer, he stood in front of her and tilted her chin up toward his face. Bending slowly, he kissed her lips.
“I said I want you to think about it,” reiterated Tabitha.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I walked you home on Friday night,” he said kissing her again.
“Walked me home or stalked me home?” she queried, placing her hand on his tie and yanking it to enable her to kiss him properly.
Their lips locked and Tabitha cherished his soft kiss.
“It doesn’t matter now,” he whispered. “I came and you let me in. You must want this as badly as I do.”
“You’ve gone from humble to supremely arrogant in seconds,” noted Tabitha, attempting to stand her ground and not give in to Freddie’s advances.
Freddie took the glass of wine from Tabitha’s hand and placed it on the coffee table. She refused to let go of his tie.
“The way you’re clinging to my tie, it seems to me the last thing you want is for me to go home now,” he said drily.
She released the tie immediately, and shoved his chest to propel him away from her. Freddie laughed and landed on the seat next to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and drew her into his solid chest.
“I don’t need a night to contemplate us. You’re exactly what I want, Tabitha.”
“Yet again Freddie, you say what you want, but don’t want to discuss the practicalities.”
Freddie sighed and sat back in the sofa. Fidgety, he removed his glass of wine from where he’d left it on the coffee table earlier when pacing. He downed the entire glass.
“Tabitha, nobody wants you to succeed at Hastings-Bass more than me,” stated Freddie.
“That’s true. I thought youth and gender may bond me and Samantha, but she was quite the sour puss at today’s meeting.”
Freddie stiffened. The lunch meeting between himself and Samantha hadn’t been mentioned. He wondered if Tabitha would press him on it.
“Perhaps next time you lunch with her you can put in a good word for me. As head of public relations I could really do with her in my corner.”
“Good luck on that,” smirked Freddie.
“What’s that mean? Did she say something?”
She had, but Freddie was diplomatic enough not to reveal it.
“Tabitha, she’s been queen bee at the company for three years now. She sees you as a direct threat.”
“We made waves with Hastings-Bass in the States because we worked as a team. If I can’t get people on board then I don’t stand a chance of promoting the label.”
“You won’t win people over if you’re seen dating the Financial Director after a week at work. What people will see is an American coupling with a significant member of the board of directors. Anything you achieve will be attributed to the fact that you’re connected with me, not because you did it on your own merit.”
“Seriously?”
“It’s an old school mentality. They believe women in high places have slept their way to the top. It’s harsh and unreasonable, but it is how a lot of the older generation thinks and you know how many silver-haired foxes are directors at Hastings-Bass.”
“What’s the solution?”
“You’ve started a team. You’ve got me on your side – that’s two of us. Now, make an effort to individually get the other people in the company who are relevant to your marketing plans to see the benefits and proven outcomes of your past efforts. Steer clear of me in the office. I have your back and you have my support on whatever you implement to launch the Hastings-Bass label into the 21st century.”
“When do I see you, then?”
“Every second we aren’t at work,” promised Freddie.
“Freddie, I trust you.”
“I won’t let you down.”
They sealed the arrangement with a kiss.