Switching off the lights as I walk out of the center leaves the whole place in pitch-black darkness. The only light as I step outside is the lone one that sits opposite the police precinct. It’s creepy, and scary. I tend to speed up locking the door and do a weird walk/run down the path to get in more light.
The only thing I love about this time of night is the stars that twinkle like diamonds, flashing and then disappearing behind the clouds that skim across the sky.
It’s somewhat of a routine now for me to find as many constellations as I can on the walk home. There’s never many people or cars on the road as I do this, so at least I don’t look crazy with my head tilted toward the sky. I’ll be lucky if one car drives past me all the way home.
When I get to the end of the road, I find the big dipper and smile. That’s the one I always find first.
A pair of headlights flash in front of my eyes and I speed up a little as the car slows down, making my stomach flutter with nerves and my hands start to shake.
Tilting my head down, I wrap my arms around my waist and steady my breathing as they pull up alongside me.
“Lexi?” I shiver at the cold—or is it that voice?
My head snaps up to the driver’s side window and I meet Evan’s eyes. They look so different shadowed in darkness: there’s something both terrifying but enthralling about those eyes.
“Evan?”
He unclips his belt and pushes his door open, leaving the engine running as he slides out of the car.
“Where are you heading?” he asks.
“Erm… home?”
He chuckles. “Is that a question, or a statement?”
I frown and shuffle my feet. “A statement.”
I look down at the ground, focusing all of my attention on the front of my Chucks; they’re so fascinating right now.
“Lexi?” His voice is a mere whisper, floating on the wind as the front of his shoes come into my line of sight. “Why are you hiding?” I gasp as his hand cups my chin and lifts it gently, bringing my gaze back up to his. “You never have to hide from me.”
“I—” I swallow at the intensity in his eyes. Why is he looking at me like that?
The only sound that can be heard is his engine and our breaths as our chests move in sync. Each time I inhale I nearly touch his chest, and just the thought of contact with him has me breaking out in goose bumps.
“You cold?” he asks, not waiting for my answer as he lets go of my chin. I feel the loss like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I can’t explain the feeling, but all I know is that I wish I would have been able to open my mouth and tell him that I’m not cold, it’s him: he’s the reason why my skin feels like it’s both hot and cold at the same time.
I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I don’t have the time nor the headspace for him to take up. I’m trying to get my life back on track, I can’t afford any distractions.
I watch with eager eyes as he leans into his car, his hand gripping the top of the door as he does. I can’t stop looking at his arm, the way the muscle flexes with his movements. He pulls something out and leans back out of the car, spinning around and holding it up in the air with a grin on his face.
“What’s—” I’m cut off when he steps behind me, wrapping it around my shoulders.
“It’s my leather jacket.” He stands back in front of me. “It’ll keep you warm.”
“Oh… I… thanks?”
He shrugs and shuffles awkwardly, wincing as he looks down the road back toward the community center.
“Do you need a ride home?”
“No!” I shake my head, berating myself for shouting. “I’m okay… I like the walk and it’s not far.”
He hesitates. “Are you sure?” he asks, biting his lip.
I shouldn’t be focusing all of my attention on his lip biting, or his muscles, or his eyes. I need to get away from him: far, far away.
“Yeah… I…” I take a step away from him and hook my thumb over my shoulder. “I better be going.”
He watches me, a small smile kicking up the corners of his lips as I back away several more steps. “Right. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” I frown before my brain catches up with me. Work, Lexi. He means he’ll see you at work. “Yeah, tomorrow.”
I stick my hand up in an awkward wave and spin around, putting too much force into it and nearly taking myself out. I right myself and laugh awkwardly, still feeling his eyes on me as I practically run down the road and turn the corner that leads to Livvy’s house.
By the time I make it to the path, I’m out of breath. Why did I just practically run away from him? He was only offering me a ride home, but the thought of being in that small, metal box he calls a car has my pulse racing.
Not only that, but I don’t want him to know where I live; it may seem silly, but I want to keep the anonymity. At least that way I know I can try and control all my crazy thoughts and not have them consumed with him all the time.
I just can’t work out whether I’m scared of him, or the way he makes me feel.
“Lexi?” I jump at the sound of Cal’s voice and snap my head up to where he stands by the front door. “You ever coming in? Or are you going to stand out there all night?”
He smirks and I laugh. “No… I… never mind.” I walk into the house, slipping past him.
“We’re out back,” he tells me and I nod, making my way through the kitchen and out onto the back patio.
“Ahhh! Here she is! Where did you find her, Cal?”
“She was contemplating life on your front lawn.”
Livvy smacks him on his arm and then giggles before picking up her glass of sherry.
“How much has she had?” I ask Mal.
“Too much.” He chuckles. “Here, come sit between me and Cal.” He pats the seat between them and I smile, walking around the table and sitting down. “Nice jacket.”
“Huh?”
“Looks familiar,” Mal says, turning his eyes toward Cal and wiggling his brows up and down.
“Mal,” Cal warns, but his eyes look at the jacket. “Stop it, I can see the wheels turning inside that brain of yours.”
“What?” Mal shrugs innocently. “I didn’t say a thing!”
“Mmmhmm. I can hear your thoughts from here.”
Mal lifts his hand to his lips and makes a zipping and then locking motion before throwing away an invisible key behind him.
“I’m confused,” I moan, my hand resting on my forehead. “It’s a friend's jacket.”
“A friend?” Mal asks. “You know I think I know—” He curses and reaches down to his leg, his eyes narrowed on Cal.
“Stop it,” Cal grinds out. “Leave it alone.”
“But—”
“I said leave it.”
They both stare at each other, narrowing their eyes and confusing me even more. I look down at the jacket, the smell of Evan surrounding me. Do they know Evan? Is that what they’re talking about? I frown, about to open my mouth to ask if they know him.
“How was work, lovely?” Livvy asks, her words slurred and her eyes drooping, cutting off my train of thought.
“It was good,” I answer. “I’m tired though, so I think I’ll hit the hay.” I start to stand up but Mal’s hand lands on my shoulder.
“Don’t go yet! The party's just starting.”
“I think I’m gonna head home too,” Cal announces, standing up. “I have an early case in court tomorrow.”
“Awww! You two are party poopers! Looks like it’s just me and you, Livvy!”
I shake my head and take Cal’s offered hand to help me up. “Thanks.”
He winks in reply and we both make our way inside. “Sleep well,” he says as he walks to the door.
“You too,” I answer.
“Oh, and, Lexi?”
“Yeah?”
Cal wrings his hand on the doorknob before sighing. “Don’t keep people locked out because of your past. Never be afraid to be who you are, who you are is more than good enough. If anyone has a problem with that, that’s their problem, not yours.”
I stand in shock and watch as he walks out without another word. Why would he say that?
I shake my head and move my attention back to the patio where Livvy and Mal are laughing their heads off. It may not be your typical family, but that’s what this is. My new family.
* * *
A loud crash wakes me and I shoot up in bed, trying to get out as fast as I can but getting my legs caught in the covers. I push my hands out in front of me, bracing myself for the impact. I miss face-planting the floor by a few centimeters before I hear the unmistakable sound of male voices.
The adrenaline pumps through my body as I untangle myself and grab the first thing I can, holding it up as a weapon and pushing my door open as quietly as I can.
I tiptoe down the hallway and toward the kitchen where the voices are coming from. Leaning my back against the wall, I count to three and take a deep breath before shooting around the corner.
“Hey!” I widen my stance as the two men freeze with their backs to me. One standing in front of the stove and the other by the sink. “Don’t move!”
They fling their hands up in the air in surrender and I search the kitchen. It’s like a bomb has gone off in here. Food splattered along all the counters. What the hell kind of robbery is this?
“Who are you?” I ask, my voice low and threatening. “Don’t move!” I scream when they start to turn.
“Lexi?” Livvy’s groan comes from the end of the hallway and she appears a few seconds later. “What the hell.” Her eyes look around the kitchen just like mine had.
“Call the police, Livvy.”
“I think I will.” Her back straightens and a smirk spreads across her face. “Who comes into someone’s home and makes breakfast? There has to be some kind of law against it. Look at my poor kitchen!”
The two guys groan and start to drop their hands before spinning around.
“Happy to see us, as always, Gran.”
My head whips back and forth between these two guys and Livvy, trying to work out what the hell is going on while warning them not to move again. They freeze, but I have a feeling that they’re just entertaining me at this point.
“Livvy?” I ask in a whisper. “What’s going on?”
“These two buffoons are my grandsons!” She walks over to them, slapping them both upside the head. “You should have told us you were coming! You’ve scared Lexi half to death.”
“Well she scared us too!” the one with dark hair cut close to his scalp says. “Look! She was gonna beat us with her sneaker!”
I look down at what I’m still holding in my hand as a weapon and frown. I wouldn’t have gotten far with one of my Chucks, but I damn sure would have tried my hardest. I have a pretty good aim and I’m sure that I could have at least hit one of them with it.
“It was the first thing I saw.” I shrug. “I could have thrown it at you?”
“See that, Gran? Look how violent she is! She hasn’t even been introduced and she already wants to beat me.”
I gasp and look up into his clear-blue eyes. “I would never, I swear, Livvy. I didn’t know—”
“Goddamn it, West! Must you always be such a Neanderthal.”
“Me?” He gasps, his hands grasping at his chest. “You wound me.”
“Ahh shut your big mouth and come and give me some love.”
He chuckles and takes a giant step before wrapping his arms around Livvy and lifting her off the floor.
“Sorry about him,” a deep voice says from right beside me. I spin around and bring my hand up in the air, smacking him on the shoulder with my Chuck out of reflex.
“Oh, shit. Sorry.”
“I sneaked up on you.” He rubs his shoulder and winks. “My bad.”
I scan his face. He has the same colored eyes as the other guy, but that’s the only thing that is similar. His dark blond hair reaches just below his ears and his skin is tan, unlike the other guy who is pale but covered in colorful tattoos.
Livvy walks toward the guy who is still standing next to me and they hug, much in the same way that she did with the tattooed guy.
“Come, sit!” She shuffles toward the table, waving us all over.
“I—”
“Sit your ass down, Lexi. You’re a part of my family now too.” I open my mouth to tell her that I need to go and get changed, after all I’m only in a pair of leggings and a tank top. I’m all too aware that I don’t have a bra on so I wrap my arms around myself, trying to cover myself the best I can.
“Lexi, this is West.” She points to the tattooed one. “And this is Seb,” she says, patting Blondie’s hand.
“Nice to meet you,” I squeak. “I’m Alexis, no, just Lexi.” I shake my head at myself. Why can’t I ever meet anyone and be freaking normal?
“Well, Alexis, no, just Lexi… it’s nice to meet you,” West says, a smirk on his face. “Where’d you find her?” he asks Livvy.
“She’s my jailbird.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand, affection on her face.
“Your what what?” Seb’s eyes widen and I wince at the rage on his face.
“My jailbird.” Livvy shrugs and gets up, starting to clear some of the mess off the counters. “I’m helping her get back on her feet. She’s just come out from a stint in juvie and prison.” She spins around and frowns at me. “Is that the right lingo?”
“It is.” I chuckle.
“Awesome.” She fist bumps the air. “I’m still down with the kids.”
Both guys groan but I smile: I love it when she’s like this.
The kitchen is silent for several minutes as West and Seb stare at each other, seeming to have some kind of silent conversation without having spoken a word to each other.
“So... prison, huh?” Seb’s deep voice finally asks.
I shrug and sink lower in my seat as I watch Livvy pull some bacon out and set it next to the stovetop.
“I—I’m gonna go and grab a shower, Livvy.” I push my chair back and practically run out of the kitchen and to my room, but before I make it behind the safety of my door, a hand grips my arm.
“Lexi.” I gasp and spin around at the sound of Seb’s voice. “Why are you here?”
His eyes cloud with anger and distrust and I shiver from the coldness displayed in them. “I-I…”
“Spit it out,” he growls. “I ain’t having some leach come here and take my gran for a fool.”
I swallow at the pure rage that is vibrating off him, my voice lost.
“Sebastian Dixon, you let go of Lexi, right now!”
He narrows his eyes, squeezing his hand slightly in warning before letting go and spinning around to face Livvy. As soon as he’s distracted, I run into my room and shut the door behind me, leaning my back against it and dropping down onto the floor.
I bring my knees up to my chest and listen as Livvy berates Seb.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m just protecting you, Gran.”
I hear her scoff. “You haven’t been here for years, and you think you can show up now and protect me?” Her voice gets closer. “Lexi wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’m helping her. She’s on a program.”
“That don’t mean shit, Gran. She could be robbing you blind—”
“Yeah, sure. Someone who wants to rob me pays me three months’ rent in advance, helps me run errands when I can hardly walk and cleans my house without me asking. Yep! Picture of a thief there, Seb.”
“Gran,” he groans.
“Don’t you ‘Gran’ me. You’re never too old for the bottom of my slipper, boy.”
Their voices get quieter as they walk away and I take a deep breath.
How did it go from feeling like I was part of a family to feeling like an outsider once again in the space of twelve hours?