I speed into the compound, my tires squealing to a stop before I jump out with Seb and West on my tail. My feet carry me into the warehouse, my chest heaving as I spot everyone standing around talking.
We jumped in a cab as soon as we left the gallery, changing our clothes before getting my car and coming right here.
“I can’t believe it,” I say, shaking my head and clenching my fists at my sides.
All this planning, all this time, and he knew who we were all along. I pull the folder out of Seb’s hands, catching Ty’s gaze before I throw it down on the meeting table.
“We’ll sort it, Evan, it’s not the end of the world.” His voice is calm as he steps toward me, all of their eyes on me.
“I know it’s not,” I huff. “But today of all days?”
“There’s no way we could have known,” Seb says, leaning against the meeting table and crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes full of fire. “He’s a sneaky fucker.”
“Excuse me?” Kitty barks, stepping forward. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking about?”
My head reels back at her reaction. “What the hell?”
“I don’t know who you think you are, and yeah it sucks big time, but we don’t know everything at the moment. We need to wait it out and—”
“Wait it out?” Seb throws his head back. “What is there to wait out? He knew who we were from the fucking beginning!”
The warehouse goes silent and I stare at each of them, looking into their confused eyes, my stomach bottoming out when all of their gazes are focused on me. The atmosphere changes, becoming so thick that it’s almost unbearable.
“Ty?” My voice doesn’t sound like my own. “We’re talking about Darrell…”
He flits his eyes from me to Kay and then back again. “Sit down, Evan.”
My brows rise on my forehead at his whole aura. “What do I need to sit down for?” I widen my stance.
I watch as a muscle in his jaw tics, staring at me for a beat before saying, “It’s Lexi.” Two words and my world comes crashing down.
“What happened?” I practically shout, stepping forward.
“We…” Kay clears her throat, stepping forward and taking Ty’s hand in hers. “We went shopping and then took her home, but…” Her gaze flicks up to Ty’s, looking for something, when she finds what she’s looking for, she continues, “When we pulled up, Charlie was there. Along with several other police cars.”
My heart starts to beat like an erratic drum in my chest, my hands clenching even tighter. “And?” I grit out.
“They arrested her,” she whispers.
My eyes immediately snap to Kitty’s. “Did Charlie tell you this was happening?”
“No,” she grinds out. “You know we keep work separate.”
I stand stock still for several seconds before pulling my cell out and calling Pop. It rings for several seconds before he answers, “I know and I’m on my way to the precinct.”
“I’ll meet you there,” I tell him, ending the call and pocketing the cell.
Spinning around, I start to stomp out of there when Ty calls, “Do you not want to know what she was arrested for?”
“I don’t need to know,” I growl, spinning around when I get to the door and pulling it open. “Whatever it is, she didn’t do it.”
I slam the door behind me, not willing to listen to another word as I run to my car and spin out of there in the same way that I came in.
My mind whirls the whole way there, what if she did do whatever they said she did? Was she keeping secrets from me? From everyone?
They wouldn’t arrest her unless they had proof, right?
I shake the thoughts from my head when I pull up at the precinct, pushing out of the car and running inside to be greeted by Geena.
Her smirk has my back straightening. She’s behind this, I know she is. I walk up to her, the main desk separating us as I lean forward.
“You happy?” I grind out.
She watches me for several seconds. “Not yet, but I will be as soon as you come to your senses.” She shuffles some papers on the desk. “Don’t think that I’ll take you back without some serious begging. You hurt me, Evan.”
I frown, staring at her in confusion as I blink rapidly. What the hell is she talking about?
“What the—”
“Look.” She heaves a breath. “I get it, you needed to spread your wings for a while before I clip them. You’ve had your fun and now she’s gone.” She smiles. “We can pick up where we left off.”
A door banging shut gains my attention and I spin to the right where Charlie and Pop are talking.
He spots me at the same time I do.
“Where is she?” I fume.
“Evan—”
“Don’t,” I warn Charlie. “Just tell me what the fuck is going on.” I run my hands through my hair, distressed as thoughts of what will happen now start to spin around my head. She’s still on parole, and getting arrested could mean that she’s sent right back to the place that she shouldn’t have been in in the first place.
“We had a tip that she was supplying.” His eyes tell me that he doesn’t believe a word of it, but then he huffs out a breath. “We found enough for the intent to supply.”
I clench my teeth, my jaw locking as my gaze turns to Pop’s. He shakes his head, silently telling me to not say a word but there’s no way that I’ll be keeping quiet.
“And you know for sure it’s hers?
“It was in her room.”
I throw my hands up in the air. “There’s four people who live in that house!”
“I know that,” Charlie says. “But because of her record—”
“You’re charging her, aren’t you?”
Charlie pushes his hand through his hair, his shoulders slumped. “She’s already been charged, we’re waiting for her to be transferred now.”
My eyes widen as the edges of my vision turn black and I spin around to face Geena again. “You were in on this!”
“Me?” Her voice is innocent, but I know better. I know the mask she hides behind and she’s wearing it right now.
“Yes… you,” I grind out, taking a step toward her but being stopped with a hand to the arm from Pop. “You didn’t want us to be happy so you decided to set her up, huh? Was my car not enough to prove your point? You had to ruin our lives too?”
Her face drops, the smirk that she was wearing when I first walked in is gone and in its place is a frown. “However much I don’t like what you’re doing, I’d never do that.”
I scoff. “Bull. Shit.”
“Hey!” Charlie barks. “Don’t talk to my officers like that.”
I spin around to face him, stepping toward him and getting right in his face. “You have no idea what your officer is like, the kind of shit she pulled on the daily.”
“That—”
“She’s a prejudice bitch who needs to stay far away from me!” I turn my gaze toward hers, warning her with my eyes to never come near me or speak to me again; she’s behind this, I know she is.
“That’s enough,” Pop says, his voice brooking no room for argument as he pushes me out of the precinct. “I’ll be in touch,” he tells Charlie, not letting up until he has me out of the door and to his car.
My eyes are still focused on Geena, narrowing as I watch her face break out into a grin as soon as she thinks I’m far enough away from her. I step back toward the doors, ready to confront her again. “I swear to—”
“Stop!” Pop shouts. “Get your ass in the car, I’m taking you home.” I shake my head, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything apart from see Lexi. “There’s nothing you can do right now, son. There’s nothing I can do yet either. We have to go through the right channels or you’re going to make things worse for her.”
* * *
How can six hours go both fast and slow at the same time? I barely remember getting to the station and being interviewed. It all feels like a blur, like a bad dream. Maybe if I pinch myself hard enough I’ll wake up? But I am awake, I’m living a nightmare and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I close my eyes and lean my head against the side of the van that is transporting me to the prison. The same prison that slowly became my hell.
“Do you understand why you’re here, Miss Deacon?”
I shake my head, because I don’t. I’ve never seen the drugs that are sitting in an evidence bag on the table. But it doesn’t matter what I say or do right now. None of it matters.
I hold my hands tightly, squeezing them until they turn white.
“If you’d rather wait until a lawyer gets here…”
My head whips up, connecting with his chocolate-brown eyes and then flitting to his small smile. “I don’t want a lawyer. They’re not mine.”
He nods sadly. “I never usually say this, but…” He looks around the empty room even though there isn’t anyone here. “I really think you should call someone… maybe Evan?”
“No.” I shake my head emphatically. I can’t bear the thought of seeing his eyes and the doubt that is surely to shine through them. I can’t do it.
We both sit there for several minutes, but after a while, he huffs and stands up. “It’s out of my hands now, Miss Deacon, you’ll have to be transferred to the prison and face the parole board after the investigation has finished.”
My heart thumps, the thought of being back in that place breaking me out in a sweat.
“Deacon.” My eyes snap open at the rough, demanding voice and I spot the male guard who has opened the door, signaling me to get out.
I stand up slowly, my legs feeling like jelly as the chains clang around me. My eyes meet the metal door that leads into the prison, my breaths turning to gasps. I shouldn’t be back here, I didn’t do anything.
I come to a stop, shaking my head and silently begging him not to put me back in there. The guard doesn’t listen though, his blue eyes meet mine and I see nothing. Not a single emotion as he grabs my arm and yanks me forward, nearly making me lose my footing.
He pulls me up, not giving me a chance to right myself before he’s being let in the door and dragging me with him.
I start singing nursery rhymes in my head: anything to pretend I’m not in this position. Back here, about to be stripped and searched. I put myself out of my head, going to the safe place where everything is fine and I’m sitting watching butterflies dance around me.
“Strip.”
I swallow as I shimmy out of my shorts and Evan’s t-shirt. It still smells like him and I’ve been clinging to it for comfort since I entered the precinct, but now it’s gone, and I don’t know when I’ll see it or feel it against my skin again.
The woman searches me everywhere making me wince as a sob bubbles up my throat. I can’t let it out though, I can’t let them see any kind of weakness.
She hands me a prison-issued uniform before tilting her head to a toilet bowl at the back of the room, handing me a cup. I know the process but that doesn’t mean it makes me cringe any less.
I slowly walk over there, doing my business and then handing her the cup and standing back as she puts several strips in there, jotting down the results.
“Negative, negative, negative.” I roll my eyes because this isn’t news to me. I haven’t touched a single thing— “Positive.”
I choke, the noise coming from my throat sounding like a cross between a sob and a laugh. “W-what?”
She turns to face me, her eyes meeting mine as she raises a perfectly plucked brown brow. “Positive.”
“That can’t be right,” I choke out, my stomach dropping. I’ve never… I wouldn’t.
“’Fraid so, missy, the doc will have to come and see you before you go into gen pop.”
I frown, shaking my head and feeling like one of the shaking dogs you see in the back of people’s cars. “I don’t… understand,” I say on a breath.
She huffs before walking over to the toilet bowl, emptying the container and walking back over to her clipboard, picking it up and tilting her head at me. “Follow me.”
I pick up my new prison-issued scratchy blanket, toilet paper, and pillow and do as she says, feeling like a lost puppy. My thoughts are going haywire, and for a second, just one tiny second, I second-guess myself.
Did I take something? Did I do something I shouldn’t have? Was I slipped something in a drink somewhere down the line?
She leads me down the beige hallway, the smell hitting me with force: bleach and dirt, the distinctive smell of a prison. It’s a stench that took me weeks to scrub off my skin.
“Sit,” she commands when she opens the door to the doctor’s room. Standing on the opposite wall, she talks into her radio, nodding at the reply that says he’ll be there in five minutes.
My gaze roves over the room, over the locked cabinets and the stark furniture.
How did I manage to get back here? Is there some kind of fate that means I can’t be happy? That I can’t be free to live my life outside of the concrete walls and fence?
“Who do we have?”
My head lifts slowly as I hear the smooth, deep voice. This isn’t the same doctor that was here before I left. His light-brown hair is that messy fashionable style, his suit under his white coat is well fitted.
“Deacon. Parole breach.”
“Ahhh.” The doctor nods, sitting opposite me and giving me a kind smile before he waves his hand at the officer. “You can leave now.”
I don’t take my eyes off him as he looks down at the clipboard, nodding at whatever the guard has written down and then pressing the keys on the old computer.
The sound takes me back to Evan, the way his fingertips would fly over the keys at such a fast pace that it almost looked impossible to type that fast.
“Have you been taking folic acid?”
“I…” My eyes widen. “I don’t do drugs, whatever it says I took, it’s wrong. I’d never touch—”
He chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “No… for your pregnancy.”
“My… what?” My voice is a mere whisper but it feels like I’m shouting.
He frowns, his eyes flitting over my face before he leans forward, clasping his hands.
“We need to do a blood test to see how far along you are, but from the urine test, it’s showing that you’re pregnant.”
“I can’t be,” I gasp. “It’s not possi—” I cut myself off as I bite my bottom lip, thinking about the two times I’ve had sex since I was released. We didn’t use protection. How could I be so stupid?
My hand flutters to my stomach protectively as I try to work out the dates and when I last had a period. I have to be around eight weeks.
The grin that spreads has me ecstatic, but then I realize where I am and how dangerous being pregnant in here will be. Especially coming back inside… people who breach parole never have an easy time when they come back.
This isn’t good… this is bad… beyond bad.
* * *
I’ve been sitting in my safe room for two days in a row now: hacking systems, trying to find anything out that will help Lexi. Pop said that he’ll see her later this week—she’s been back inside nearly a week now and I still haven’t heard from her.
Does she not want to talk to me? Surely she can pick up a payphone? But then I start to wonder: does she have money? Does she know my number?
It doesn’t matter anyway because I’ll do anything and everything to get her out of that place and back here where she belongs. I won’t stop at anything until she’s back in the safety of my arms.
The pounding on my cabin door starts yet again, but I ignore it, waiting for the footsteps to echo above as whoever it is walks in without permission—just like they’ve been doing since I hid myself away.
“Evan!” I shake my head. First Ty, then Kay, and now Luke. Don’t they get the point? I don’t want to talk to them.
Not one of them has offered to help. When Kay was in trouble, we were all there. When Kitty needed rehab, it was me who booked her in. But when I ask them to trust me, they doubt all of my intentions.
“We want to help!” he shouts, only this time it’s closer and I hear his footsteps. “Where the fuck are you? I just want to talk!”
My nostrils flare at his tone and I’m up out of my seat in two seconds flat and opening up the hatch, storming toward him. His eyes widen when he sees where I’ve come from but I don’t let him talk. “You want to judge!” I grind out. “You don’t want to help.”
“Ev—”
“No! When it was Kay, I was there!” I smack the palm of my hand off my chest. “When Kitty needed help, I was there!” I make a closed fist and smack that off my chest too. “When any of you need or want something…” I look into his ice-blue eyes. “I’m. There.”
I take a breath, my chest rising and falling.
“We want to—”
“I’m sick and fucking tired of this shit… none of you know a fucking thing about me, never mind me and Lexi.”
The anger is rising to the surface, flowing through my veins like molten lava as I storm out of my cabin and to the warehouse, intent on giving them all a piece of my mind.
I’m not doing this anymore, they have no idea of half the things I’ve had to live with.
I push open the metal door, walking inside with Luke hot on my tail.
“He’s not doing good—”
“Shut it!” I shout, whipping my head around to him and then back at them all where they stand scattered around the table. “I’m done.” I swipe my hand through the air. “You need anything and I’m there… always. The one time I need all of your help and you disappear. Lexi is my family. My family.” I pause. “Don’t you get that? I can’t…” My breath catches in my throat. “I can’t live without her… she’s…”
There’s a beat of silence before Ty says, “She’s it.” His eyes rove over Kay. “I get it.”
I open my mouth, trying and failing to form words as the rage slowly fizzles out. My body is exhausted, my brain tired, and I feel like I’ve been put through ten rounds with Tyson.
My shoulders droop as my gaze wanders around the warehouse, finally seeing what they’re doing.
“We’re trying to help,” Kitty says, walking around the table and placing her hand on my arm. “Like you said… you’re always there for us. It’s time we did the same.”
I swallow when my eyes meet the board on the wall, seeing information and photos pinned to it.
“While you’ve been holed up in your cabin we’ve been trying to figure out what happened,” Luke says, walking toward the board before lowering his voice so only I can hear. “And when we’ve got your girl out, we’re definitely talking about the fucking hole in your floor that you appeared out of.”
I snap my head up, making sure no one else heard him as Kay clears her throat. “We know she didn’t do it, Evan.” I see the truth she’s telling reflected in her eyes.
I shake my head, agreeing with her but also pissed at myself. I should have known they’d back me all the way.
Why did I think that they wouldn’t?