Chapter Twenty-One
Isabel
I finally made my own plate after waiting for over an hour for Rem to come downstairs. I had been all ready to go out on our date, complete with a cute sundress, makeup and my hair perfectly curled.
I felt so stupid when Hawk and Max came down and looked at me expectantly. “Where’s breakfast?” Hawk said. I thought about explaining it to them but realized that I would look naive if Rem hadn’t been sincere. I told them to hold on and went to knock on Rem’s door. There was no answer.
When I came back downstairs, I proceeded to make eggs, bacon and toast like I did every day, feeling like the biggest idiot.
Most of the other clubs and hang-arounds had left last night or early this morning so I only had to cook for the resident Aces and nomads, making things easy to handle as I wallowed in self-pity.
Now, I took my own plate to the table where I sat next to Jordan. I didn’t want to be obvious, but I needed to know. I leaned closer to Jordan and said softly, “Where’s Rem?”
“Club business,” he said with egg in his mouth.
I just nodded my head. So it was work that took him away, no big deal. Unless Jordan was lying to spare my feelings.
“Feeling rejected because he didn’t say goodbye?” Tracy mocked from down the table where she sat next to Jessica. The blonde got up and walked toward the kitchen with her plate. “Don’t worry, hon. I gave him a proper send off before he left,” she said with that bitchy smile.
I just stared down at my plate and pushed my food around. After a while, I noticed that Jordan wasn’t eating either. I looked up to find him staring down at me, his eyes dark and calculating.
I let out a frustrated breath. “Stop looking at me like that,” I whispered so the others wouldn’t hear.
“Like what?” he said, keeping is voice low.
“Like you think I’m stupid,” I spat, barely maintaining my soft tone.
“I don’t feel sorry for you. But I do think you’re being foolish.”
“Why?” I couldn’t help the bitchy tone as I said it.
“What is the old saying about the bird and fish?”
I had to think for a moment before it hit me. “A bird and a fish can fall in love, but where would they live?’”
“Exactly.” He stood up and left me alone at the end of the table.
He was right. This world was very different from the one I lived in. Even if I could get used to the sex and violence, I would always be an outsider. And a man like Rem would be miserable in the suburbs.
I shook my head. It didn’t matter anyway. Rem wasn’t interested in me that way. Maybe he did just want to be my friend. Maybe the ride he offered was just to show me around town. He did say that I was unlike any woman he ever met. But dorky is not exactly sexy, Isabel. No, Tracy was sexy in Rem’s kind of way. Jordan was right. I was foolish. I could never be something he wanted.
That’s okay, I reminded myself. My true love was out there. Just because Rem didn’t want me doesn’t mean I won’t be wanted by someone. It was disappointing that it couldn’t be a panty-soaking badass with eyes that pierced my soul, but there were other things to consider. I wasn’t going to waste time trying to list them right now. There were other things, more important things.
I eventually got up from the table and made my way into the kitchen. As I helped Skinny clean up, I made the resolution to treat Rem as a friend. I would never be immune to him completely, but I could stop the fantasies and foolish mooning. To keep hoping would only lead to heartbreak and embarrassment.
My decision made me feel better. I was in control again.
I smacked Skinny on the ass on my way out and said, “Thanks, Peaches.”
****
Within the next few days I found a routine for myself. After breakfast, one of the boys would drop me off at the salon where I helped the girls answer phones, wash hair, and sweep the floor until noon. Then it was back to the clubhouse where I served as assistant to all the officers.
Fortunately, the nomads had vacated the clubhouse yesterday to go back to wherever. Jackal was nice enough, but Cougar just made me uncomfortable. When he wasn’t calling me something gross or sexist, he was staring at me like I was his next meal. Part of the reason I started going to the salon was to escape him.
Now that I was helping out, I found out how many businesses the club actually owned. I already knew about the salon and auto shop, but they also owned a pawnshop and a bar in town. Rem managed the auto shop, Sophie had the salon, Max ran the pawnshop, and Sam had the bar. Hawk and Duncan worked at the garage. Donny worked as assistant manager at the bar but also worked at the pawnshop. All the members held ownership in the parent company that owned all the businesses. Of course, each business had more employees, but with all the work, I was surprised they had time for all the parties.
Max had me do some of the bookkeeping that he deemed “easy peasy”, and Greyson was more than happy to let me handle things in the garage while Rem was gone. To Jordan, I was a simple waitress. “Izzy, Red Bull.” “Izzy, burger.” He did say “thank you”, well most of the time.
I used Rem’s office as my workspace and kept the door open so I could hear the shouts for my assistance. It was nice but awful at the same time. I was trying to forget about him, and yet all his things surrounded me. He had pictures all over of him and his friends. Some he was smiling, others not. Either way, I found myself staring a bit too long.
It was Wednesday afternoon when Jessica popped her head in. At first, she was smiling, but it turned into a frown. “What are you doing in here?”
“Max said I could use Rem’s office while he is away.”
“Well don’t get too comfortable. Jordan said he would be back today.”
“Okay,” I said simply. I didn’t want to engage her snotty attitude. I also didn’t want to ask more questions. Like what time did Jordan say he would be back.
Amy came in behind her. “What’s up?”
“I’m just warning the princess that Rem would not like having a woman in his office.”
Amy gave her a dull look. “Jessica, these boys may be assholes, but they are not misogynists.”
Jessica scoffed. “I’ll believe that when an Ace goes downtown.” The she walked away.
“What is she talking about ‘downtown’?” I asked Amy.
“She means oral sex. Aces don’t do that,” she explained.
“Why not?”
“Hell if I know. It’s probably in their by-laws or something,” she said with a little laugh.
I couldn’t seem to help my curiosity. My time here had shown me that very little was taboo for the Aces, so why no oral sex? “Have you simply asked for one them to try?”
“Yes, I have. That was an unpleasant conversation.” She brushed her hair away from her face with a sigh.
“Gotcha.” I just turned back to the computer because I actually couldn’t imagine the conversation. I did wonder who it was that she asked though.
“Anyway, Duncan sent me in here to let you know that he was ordering pizza tonight so you’re off the hook for dinner.”
“Oh, good.” It would be nice to have a night off.
“Well, I’m off to work so you’ll probably be asleep by the time I get back.” I nodded in agreement and gave her a smile as she walked away. Amy was a waitress at the Aces bar and usually took the night shift since it was better tips.
I quickly saved my work and started to shut down the computer. All the boys had left to do other things so I was free to go. I wanted every second possible to start getting ready for tonight.
I needed to look perfect when Rem showed up. Not because I still wanted him but because he doesn’t affect me. Makes total sense.
****
I spent quite a while in the shower that afternoon. I felt the need to shave and exfoliate everywhere. My hair took even longer since I decided to blow dry and style it. My makeup was simple but perfect. I was going to make Rem regret standing me up.
When I came downstairs, there were only a few people around so I decided to play pool with Jordan and Hawk or at least tried to play. It was more like they were trying to teach me. It was my turn so I leaned over the table and lined up my cue. I wore one my flirty jean skirts and my Captain Kirk t-shirt about being from Iowa.
I knew the moment he entered the room. My entire body tensed and the erratic heartbeats started again. I had to force myself not to turn to him, not to acknowledge him until it was appropriate.
“Hey, man. How was it?” Jordan asked.
I looked up at Jordan, and he was looking behind me.
“Stressful.” Rem’s deep timbre came from close behind me. I couldn’t help the little tingles that went through me at the sound. Jordan glanced down at me and smirked. I licked my lips and took the shot. I thanked the gods when the ball went into the pocket. I leaned back onto my feet and immediately felt Rem at my back. He had his hands on my hips. “Hey, babe.”
Before I let myself misinterpret the action, I moved away to the adjacent corner of the table. “Hi,” I said without looking at him. I bent for my next shot, which I missed. “Damn.”
“You’re still not holding the stick right,” Hawk commented.
I giggled. “That’s the first time I’ve been accused of mishandling a stick.” I lifted a brow at Hawk.
“Let’s hope you’re talented with other sticks,” he responded.
A growl sounded from the other end of the table. I finally looked at Rem and his gaze was on me. His eyes were intense, and his lip was hinting at a snarl.
I looked back at Hawk. “It’s your turn.”
I listened to Rem walk away.
A few minutes later, Jessica came into the room. “Did I hear Rem?”
“Yeah, he went to his room,” I replied.
“Did he want some company?”
I kept my face neutral as I shrugged. “Maybe. He said the trip was stressful.”
“Well I can help with that.” She smiled and turned toward the stairs.
When I turned back to the pool table, I noticed Hawk and Jordan were smirking at each other.