Chapter Forty-Two
Isabel
I must have fallen asleep because I woke up when Rem opened the door.
“Where is Amy? You weren’t supposed to fall asleep,” he said, his hands up, outwardly annoyed. I looked around to see the TV was still on but no Amy.
I pushed myself up to lean against the headboard. “I’m okay.”
He sat next to me on the bed and cupped my forehead. Then he moved his hand to my cheek and brushed my lip with his thumb. The look in his eyes told me that he was thinking about when I was gone. He must have been scared, and I imagine that it was a foreign feeling to him.
I brought my hand up to touch his and closed my eyes. I wanted to soak in his strength and love, before it was gone.
I opened my eyes when he pulled away from my face and gripped my hand instead. “We never really got a chance to talk about what happened in the warehouse.”
“You don’t have to, Rem.” I felt bad enough. I really didn’t want to talk about how I got a man killed.
“No, I need to explain.” He squeezed my hand. “I can’t give you all the details, but I’ll tell you the basics.”
It was clear that it was important to him, so I said, “Okay.”
He looked down into my lap as he began. “About twenty years ago, three of the Aces members were sent to jail: Greyson, Stump, and Lenny. It turned out that another member turned against them. The man in the warehouse, it was him. His name was David Neltwith, but he was Breaker to us.”
“If you knew it was him then why were you questioning him?”
His eyes rose to meet mine. “Breaker disappeared on the same night my father did.”
Rem was silent, letting me connect the dots. I felt my mouth drop open in surprise. “So you think your father turned against the club, too?”
He licked his lips. “During the investigation, it became clear that it was more than just Breaker. They knew things only another officer would be privy to.”
I nodded and then shook my head. “I still don’t understand why you would be questioning him now.”
“Breaker had been in witness protection. A friend of the club came across his new identity and was nice enough to let me know.”
“What were you hoping to find out?”
“I need to know where my dad is so I can kill him.”
I pulled my hand from his. “What?”
“He betrayed the club, my mother, and me. We haven’t verified it, but Breaker said he was a federal agent. I can’t let him live.”
I could see the anger in his face and his hands were clenched, as if he was thinking about choking someone. I bit my lip. “I know you feel betrayed and abandoned. But it’s over, why put yourself through the pain?”
He just shook his head and smirked like I wouldn’t understand. “He has to pay.”
“But what if he was put into an impossible situation where that was the only out?” The question came out before I could stop it.
He looked back at me. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean, I find it hard to believe that your father would just betray his family and friends without reason. He must have been coerced in some way.” I bit my lip, hoping Rem could see reason.
“No, it is more complicated than that based on what Breaker told us.”
“But—”
He waved a hand. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I told you why that man was here, and that’s all you need to know.”
I nodded and bit the inside of my cheek. I should just tell him. What was the likelihood of the Snakes finding out? Could I take that risk?
He cupped my chin and lifted my head. His blue eyes were gentle again as he looked at me. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better.” I forced a smile.
“Good.” The word came out as a growl, and then Rem had his mouth on mine. I kissed him back, wanting any kind of connection to this man that didn’t lead to heartache.
I could feel the call in my body, his hands and mouth drawing out the shivers. But something wasn’t right, and I knew what it was. I was lying to him. I felt dirty and unworthy of him. He deserved someone better, someone who was brave enough to tell him everything.
He pulled back when he felt me stiffen. “What’s wrong, babe?”
“Nothing. Maybe I’m just still tired.”
“That’s not it. There is something you’re not telling me.”
And here I thought I was doing a good job at pretending.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked.
“What?”
His eyes wouldn’t meet mine. “For not protecting you.”
“Rem, no. God, no. That’s not it.” I cupped his face. “The only time I feel safe is when I’m with you. My life has so many uncertainties right now, and you are the only thing I am certain about.” I kissed him, and I felt like crying. I loved him so much. “I’m sorry I’m not acting like myself. Maybe the whole experience has left me a little shaken? But never doubt that I trust you with my life.”
He leaned his head against mine and closed his eyes.
“Hey, there was going to come a time in our relationship when I simply wasn’t in the mood.” I giggled.
“But I see that as a challenge. My woman should always be in the mood,” he said with a serious face but quickly broke into a smile after a few seconds.
There was a sudden knock on the door.
“What?” Rem barked at the door.
“We need to prep for tomorrow. Did you forget?” Duncan said from the other side.
“Fuck.” He sat up. “Listen, I have some stuff to do, but I’ll be back later. I also have to leave early tomorrow so I might not wake you before I leave. I’ll only be gone a day this time.”
“Okay.” This was the meeting that my uncle was talking about. I looked at the bathroom for a moment, thinking about how I could get the stupid thing on Rem’s bike before he left tomorrow.
“Get your rest. When I get back you know what’s going to happen.”
I bit my lip and nodded. Something about these “runs” turned Rem into a beast afterward. The danger must turn to lust in his veins. I found myself looking forward to it before I realized that I’d probably never make love to Rem again.
He gave me a kiss that was all tongue and then left the room. I thought I would have a few more days to make my decision, but here it was.
I curled back into the bed and tried to decide between my lover and my father.