Chapter 1: Shannon
“Shannon, did you get everything on your list done?”
I nodded and looked back at father. It was lunch time and I brought him a couple of sandwiches and some tea for lunch. Amber was waiting out back with some towels because there was nowhere else I would want to be right now than at the swimming hole. The sun was scorching and we had breezed through our duties so that we could spend the heat of the day in the cool water. There was an old rock quarry on the Fisher land that had long since filled in. It was nice and cold because of how impossibly deep it was, making it the perfect place for such a day.
“Everything is done.”
“Well you and Amber don’t need to be running off just yet. There are still some things that have to be done for the party. It has been four years since Joel was home. You two should at least help get things ready.”
I knew he was right, but it was just so hot outside that I couldn’t stand it. For late August it was scorching. There was a time when I loved the summers, but as I got older they were harder to deal with. That or the Texas sun was getting hotter. Either way, all I could think about was the cold water in the quarry.
“How about we go take a quick dip and then we will go to town for whatever you want.”
Travis shook his head. He knew better than to send us that way. We would never come back, or if we did it would be hours later. It was hard to leave.
“How about you get the stuff on the list and then go?”
It wasn’t an option, more like the best I was getting. One of the only things I hated about staying on at the Fisher ranch was that my dad was now my boss. So even at nineteen he still got to tell me what to do. It wasn’t so bad, except in moments like this one when I really just wanted to get away. But I agreed, like we both knew I would and gave Amber the bad news.
“You shouldn’t have said anything.”
I sighed. Or course I shouldn’t have, but I had to. “Well, I did. So town first and then swimming afterwards.”
“Why do we have to go there?”
“Because Joel is coming home. Remember? Your mom wants to throw a party for him.”
“Is that today? I thought it was next week.”
I looked over at her before getting in the truck. “Why aren’t you excited?”
“If you had an older brother, you would understand. Siblings are more like a love hate relationship.”
I nodded and got in. I had always wanted siblings, so I just didn’t understand. There was something I loved about big families, but it seemed that those that were part of one didn’t particularly like to be. I remembered her brother vaguely. I moved to the ranch just a few weeks before he left. I remembered how handsome I thought he was, but he didn’t pay me any mind. I was far too young to even look at. Now he was back and I seemed to be more excited about it than she was.
“I hear ya, Amber. But either way, we have to go get this stuff. Your mom is throwing a big party from the looks of it. There is enough food on this list to feed the ranch for a week, so I am guessing she has invited a lot of people.”
Amber sighed and looked out the window. “Yeah mom always thought of Joel as the golden boy. Trust me, if you heard it as much as I did, he would make you sick too. It is all she ever talks about. Now dad is getting sick and Joel is coming back to save the day.”
“Man, kind of harsh Amber.”
“I know, but I am telling you. He makes me crazy. I feel like we are back in middle school every time he comes back. It’s just weird.”
“Well I will be there and I promise not to pay him any attention.”
She looked at me hopefully. “You better not. Besides, you won’t like Joel if he is anything like he was before he left.”
I didn’t say anything more. It was obviously a sore subject for her and there was no way I was going to tell her how hot I thought he was. He had been gone in the military for years and I could only imagine his hard body would be harder than before. I shook my head of the thoughts. She would kill me for even thinking it.
I focused on the road so that she would not see the look in my eyes. I didn’t want to rub it in. We went through the motions and three different stores before we found everything that was needed. Amber had been busy on her phone and since she wasn’t letting me see what she was texting, I figured I knew who she was talking to.
“Don’t tell me Mack is going to be there.”
She gave me a face and I knew then that he would be. “Why?”
“Because I think I love him.”
I sighed, “No you don’t. It’s all hormones with you two. You need less of that and more talking and you would see that he is just not the one for you.”
“Just because you are anti-love, doesn’t mean that I have to be. You are going to meet a guy one day that makes you forget all your senses. Just wait and see.”
I didn’t believe her, but neither one of us was in the mood to argue about it. I was hoping for a quick trip so that I could get in the water. We got out and I looked at the mile long list in my hand. Sighing, we got out and started towards the first store.
***
The list was even longer when I was going through the store getting it all. Amber wasn’t going to be much of a help since she was on her phone the whole time. By the end of it, I was exhausted and we were at the quarry. I had dropped the groceries off while she made her way towards the watering hole. There were a few other guys already down there with Mack when I got there. I knew Dale, but I did not know the other guy. Amber introduced us before I got in the water. The cold water made me forget everything else.
“So Shannon, what do you do here?”
“All the stuff that no one else wants to. They won’t let me train, so I pretty much do all the grunt work.”
“That sounds like it sucks.”
I looked over at Amber sucking face with Mack. “Sometimes it does, but it has its perks.”
His eyes were on me, but it was not the great views and the watering hole that I was referring to. Zeik was looking at me and I wondered then how he knew Mack. They probably went to school together, but I couldn’t help seeing the common ground they had as friends. They both seemed to be pervs.
“Amber tells me that you are planning on starting here?”
“Yeah, next week.”
“What are you going to be doing?”
“Learning to train horses. I had never really thought about it before, but the pay is good.”
I nodded and tried to pretend that I was happy for him. The truth was that I had been trying for months to get hired on as an apprentice, but Mr. Fisher didn’t believe in putting women in danger. He was an old time sexist and I had gotten used to it, but it still stung that he would hire someone off the streets before me. He didn’t have any experience. Zeik didn’t even like horses.
I started to swim off but he came in after me and swam beside me. I didn’t want to be rude, but he was not my type and I knew where the conversation was going. Where any conversation went with a man after enough time had passed.
“So are you single?”
There it went, I thought to myself. “Yeah. I’m single.”
“Do you want to go out some time?”
“Maybe once you get settled in. I got to go help with the party though. Nice to meet you, Zeik.”
He didn’t want me to go, but I pulled myself up on the side of the water. “When will I see you again?”
It took everything in my not to roll my eyes. “I’ll be at the party later if you decide to show up.” Telling Amber that I was taking off, I walked away from the friend not paying much attention and the man who was paying far too much attention.
Walking back to the ranch, I had thrown a pair of jean shorts on over my bathing suit, but everything else was in my arms. My clothes had gotten wet somehow on the beach, so it didn’t matter anyways. Running my fingers through my wet black hair, I was paying more attention to my hands, than my feet.
I looked up to see a man just as preoccupied as I was. I moved out of the way, but his bag almost knocked me down. It was one of those green/brown duffel bags that they had in the service. It was because of the bag that I took a better look at his face and realized that it was Amber’s brother Joel.
“Sorry Miss.”
“It’s Shannon. We’ve met before.”
His eyes looked up and we made eye contact. He had the most piercing blue eyes that I had ever seen. He was a lot better looking than when he left and way more muscled than before. Being in the service seemed to have done him some good. He looked fitter than ever, but it was hard to deny the distant look in his eyes as well. Joel looked like he had seen some things that nobody was supposed to see.
“Oh wow, Travis’s daughter?”
I nodded my head. What did he mean by wow? I can’t say that I wasn’t thinking the same thing, but it for a whole other reason. “Yeah. I had just moved here when you were about to leave.”
His eyes darkened and he looked down my body. “Well it looks like you have grown up. How old are you now?”
“Nineteen.”
I don’t know why I was so happy that he asked. Maybe it was because I was finally an adult. He just gave me this nod and started to walk away. It left me looking at him for a minute and then he turned around, catching me staring. “Do you know where Amber is? I wanted to surprise her.”
Of course I did, but there was no way that I was going to send him towards the quarry where his sister was. Not then with Mack there. No one liked Mack and I was sure that if Joel met him, he would come to the same conclusion as everyone else that met him. “I am not sure. Have you checked up at the house?”
“I just came from there.”
“Oh, well I am sure she will turn up once the party starts. Welcome home Joel.”
“Thank you. So is she drinking or something? Is that why you won’t tell me where she is?”
I nodded. “Not really like that, but she will be around in a bit.”
“If I go down to the quarry, what am I going to find?”
He was acting like her dad and I could better understand the comment about him being over protective. “Nothing.”
“Well then come with me.”
He was calling my bluff, but I knew he was going to go anyways. If I was done there, maybe I could stop the two from arguing about what she was doing. I mean she was as old as I was, so it wasn’t like she was a kid or something. “I will if you want, but I was hoping you could help me put up decorations.”
“For my own party?”
“Well it’s not much of a surprise now, is it?”
“I guess not, but I was really hoping to talk to Amber about something.”
“She will be back soon, trust me. She is fine. Now come on and let’s put all those muscles to good use.”
Chapter 2: Shannon
I tried not to gawk as he helped me. His muscles bunched up just to put the streamers up and it was hard not to look. Joel was so big, much bigger than he had been before. He didn’t seem to notice me in the same way as he had before. I did have a shirt on now, but I got nothing from him. When I would try to get close, he would dodge any touch. Frustrated, I tried to ignore him as well, but with him stretched and his muscles bunched, it was hard not to get a little riled up.
“So are you home for good Joel?”
He looked back at me, those blue eyes bright. “I don’t know. Dad wants me to take over the ranch, so I have that to deal with. I have thought about hiring some managers.”
“Don’t you like working here?”
Joel shrugged and it was clear that he didn’t. It was the reason he had went into the military. He wanted out of there and the service was his way. Now that he was back, I wondered how the ranch would run. It was not for the faint of heart. There was a constant stream of work to be done and someone had to make sure that it all got done. I had heard how good he was at training, so I guess I had assumed that he would like it as much as I did, but I guess not. Why was it that everyone that didn’t want to train could make it and I couldn’t?
“Can you honestly tell me that you like working here?”
I nodded. I was not ashamed to love it at the ranch. How could I not? “Of course. That’s why I am here. If I didn’t like it or hope to be a trainer one day, I wouldn’t still be here. I could have went to college, but I would much rather work with the horses than be stuck in an office somewhere.”
Joel looked down at me for a minute. “I actually believe you.”
“Why are you so surprised?”
“Because people very rarely say what they actually mean.”
“Well I don’t see a point in saying anything if I don’t mean it. Seems like a waste of time.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Though you didn’t mean what you said earlier.”
I had lied, or omitted. It was technical, but I hadn’t felt good about it after doing it. I didn’t want to lie to him, but my loyalty was to my friend. “Yes well, your sister is my best friend so it would have been pretty crummy of me to rat her out. Don’t you think? Hoo-rah and all of that.”
“That’s the Army. I am a Marine.”
“Well whatever you are, they have certainly made a man out of you.”
I looked away, not believing that I had just said that. I was missing my filter or more specifically my brain in general with him around. He wasn’t even flirting with me. It was just having him in such a close proximity.
“You think so huh?”
Nodding without looking at him. “I am sure you will have no lack of admirers here.”
Joel didn’t answer and I thought he had walked off. Turning back towards him after I hung up the last of the streamers, he was still standing there. “So nineteen, huh?”
I giggled a little. “Yep all grown up. How old are you now?”
“Twenty-four.”
I could have cared less how old he was. I just wanted to keep talking to him. He was so quiet for so long and then back to talking. Something was different about Joel. It was like he was battling his own demons, but none of that mattered when I looked into his haunted eyes. “So why are you so worried about how old I am Joel?”
He shrugged. “Just curious. You seem too young.”
“Too young for what?”
Joel didn’t answer me. He just smiled in such a way. I waited for him to answer and it looked like he was about to say something before I heard Amber behind me. I wanted to turn around and tell her to piss off but of course I couldn’t. She didn’t have Mack with her, so at least I wouldn’t have to be there for that. I was sure that Joel would dislike him as much as the rest of us did. I didn’t know if it would be best to hope for a fight. Then maybe Amber would see what a jerk he was.
It was almost poetic that they walked up about the same time that I started musing. I could tell they had just had sex Amber had that glow to her. She was a bit shocked that Joel was already home and her face faltered. But she was quick to recover and moved to give her big brother a hug. I saw Mack standing off by the house fence.
“Big brother you have gotten bigger. What have they been feeding you there?”
He chuckled and I loved the way it sounded. “A lot better than mom can cook, but don’t tell her I said that.”
Amber told him that she wouldn’t and she smiled up at him. She was happy to see him whether she wanted to admit it or not. I had known her to long for her to convince me of otherwise. Amber was always a bit complicated.
I left the two to talk and catch up. I had told Maddie that I would help her with the cooking. Their mom wasn’t as bad of a cook as they made her out to be and she was getting better. Maddie had become like a mother to me and we had been cooking together for quite a time. I had learned a while ago, having to cook for dad, so in a way I was teaching her. She had always had a cook or someone else to do it, so she just never learned. Maddie was getting better and Joel might be surprised of the changes. Surely the military wasn’t coming up with better food than her. I had heard about his appetite.
“Thank goodness you are here Shannon. I don’t remember what I was supposed to do with the steaks. The grill is ready and they are still out.”
“That’s good. They need to be closer to room temperature. Just put some salt on them and they will be ready in ten minutes to put out there. Why are you so worried?”
Maddie was worried about Joel being there. Amber was right in that they felt he was the golden child, but I felt like there was more to it. Families were always filled with secrets and the Fishers were no different. It was like a mystery I was dying to unravel and I knew Joel was one of the missing pieces.
“You know how I get. And I just want everything to be perfect for when he gets here.”
I didn’t know how she didn’t know, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her that he was out there helping with the party, instead of coming in to say hello to his mother. I was starting to wonder if I wanted to be there when the other piece strolled in. The Fishers were like family to me in some ways, but I was thankful to be out of the darker side of it.
“It will be fine. He hasn’t been home in years, so just seeing you Maddie will be enough. I am sure he will be here soon and then everything will be okay.”
“I hope so. I keep having this fear that he is going to call and decide to stay in the service. The two Fisher men have a hard time communicating, so I just hope that he didn’t say something when he talked to him last week. Ray has a tendency to be too harsh with Joel. He has been treating him like a man since he was five. It’s a lot of pressure and I know that is why Joel left in the first place.”
I tried to tell her it would be okay. I took over in the kitchen. It was part of the reason Maddie had such a hard time cooking is she was so distracted all the time. I had seen her once burn chicken by boiling all of the water out. I don’t even remember what she was trying to make, but I found that an almost impossible feat to manage.
“Why don’t you go and get ready Maddie? Take a few minutes to calm down and get to feeling better.” She needed to relax, but it was hard for her and I knew that. So, I didn’t really give her much of a choice. I just told her to go. After a minute she nodded, knowing that what she was doing was not going to make anything better. Maddie was a worrier.
About the time she was going upstairs, I was taking the raw steaks to the grill to be cooked. Dante and a few of his friends were there on grill detail and before long I could hear the sizzle as I went back into the kitchen. People were starting to arrive, so I needed to start getting some of the trays out. Amber was back in from talking with Joel and he was a few feet behind her coming in. “Go upstairs and say hello to your mother Joel.”
He looked at me strangely, but I didn’t let it bother me. “She is worried sick that you aren’t coming, so go. I can’t believe you haven’t went and seen her yet.”
Joel’s eyes questioned me for a minute, but then he did as I asked. Amber kind of smiled before I handed her a tray to take out there. “You are scary when you start taking things over, you know that right?”
I did, but it was the only way to get things done sometimes. While everyone else was worrying and upset, someone had to make sure that the food got down and Maddie’s feelings didn’t get hurt.