Chapter 1
Foster laid back on her bed. It was the start of a new year, but she still had to work off the night’s drinking from the year before. Her head pounded when she opened her eyes to the sun streaming in from the blinds. Another year, she thought to herself. Not sure where it would take her, Foster just hoped that it would be better than the last year.
The year before, she had lost her grandmother to cancer and then her father in a car wreck. Now only her mother survived her immediate family and she looked at everything so differently. There was just no time anymore and another day was not a given.
She sat up with the last thought. She had so many resolutions for the New Year and one of them was to stop lazing about in bed till noon. Even with a hangover, it didn’t seem like a good idea to break it on the first day. The bed was empty next to her and she sighed to herself. Another one of her resolutions was to get rid of Billy. He was never any good for her, but she missed waking up to his hot, naked body next to her. The older man had showed her things that she never could have imagined possible, but at the same time, he had torn her heart into as many pieces as it were possible to be without falling apart completely. He was never any good for her and losing him was hard, but it had to be done.
Pulling her mind from the past, she walked into the kitchen squinting at the coffee pot that she couldn’t just will on. The morning was bright and by the look outside, it was going to be a beautiful day. Going out to the porch, Foster took a few puffs from a cigarette and shivered in the morning breeze. It was beautiful outside, but looks were deceiving. It was freezing outside and she went back in before she could get halfway through the cigarette.
Shaking, she went back to her room to get dressed, adding a sweater to her outfit, still chilled from the few minutes outside. Grabbing a cup of fresh coffee made her feel a little better, warming her from the inside. Her phone rang and she knew who it was by the ring. “I’m up and as soon as I get some caffeine in me, I will be there to take you to the doctor, okay?”
Carol thanked her and hung up. She knew her daughter was never very good at remembering things, but she knew even more that Foster was horrible in the mornings. Carol didn’t like to wake her up if she didn’t have to.
Foster got herself together and made her way to her mother’s house across town. She had been having some issues with what they hoped wasn’t cancer, but Foster knew in her heart that it was. Her mother knew as well, becoming quieter and even meeker since they had done the biopsy. “It’s going to be okay mom. Doctors can do all kinds of things now mom. Even if that is what it is, I am sure there are many things they can do.”
She tried to sound sure. She wasn’t, but at least her voice was strong like she was. Carol smiled at her and tried to look as brave as her daughter needed to be. There was nothing to be said about it, no sense in worrying until it was all said and done.
The two tried to draw strength off of each other, but they were both nervous going into the doctor’s office. Even when Foster knew the words that were going to come out of the doctor’s mouth, she was still holding onto some hope. There was none according to doctors and the sinking feeling in her stomach. Her mother was not given a diagnosis, but a timed departure that she was supposed to go home and live with. She was given six months and as the two drove back to her place, neither one of them could think of anything to say.
Finally Carol broke the silence, her mind working since they had left the hospital. She had known it was coming, feeling the changes and the feeling of not right in her body for some time. “You know, it’s going to be okay Foster. I know you are not going to like the decision I make, but just know that it is going to be okay.”
She looked over at her and didn’t know what she was talking about. Her mother was being cryptic and she wanted to know what she meant. “What do you mean?”
“I am going to decline the chemo Foster. I know that they said it will extend my time, but it won’t be time worth having.”
“So what are you going to do, just let it make you worse until you die?”
Her voice was rising and she looked over at her while at a stop sign down from her mother’s house. “No, and calm down, Foster. It’s not going to be like that. I want to travel, see things that I haven’t seen before. I was hoping you would come with me.”
Foster had not expected that answer. Her mother had never been one to travel, content in the small town with her family. Foster had tried to get her to travel before, but she had never wanted to. “Of course I will go with you mom. Where ever you want to go.”
“There has always been one place that I never got around to visiting.”
She waited for her to answer. “I have always wanted to go out west. I know it is not exotic, but I have always wanted to see the horses and the big skies.”
It was not the answer she had been expecting. Foster had been thinking more along the lines of a beach somewhere, but it was her mother’s choice after all. “So you want to go see the cowboys and tumbleweeds huh?”
Carol laughed a little. “I figured that was how you would see it, but what do you say? You want to come with me?”
Foster was close to tears. “Of course I will go with you mom. Where ever you want to go. But don’t you at least want to get a second opinion? That is just one doctor and one test.”
Carol shook her head. She didn’t want to spend anymore of her time worrying about what she couldn’t change. She just wanted to live the next few months as happily as she could before it all caught up to her.
“Whatever you want. When do you want to leave?”
“Well I know you will have to rearrange some things.”
Foster shook her head. “No need. It just a job and to be honest, I never liked it anyways. We can leave as soon as you are ready to.”
“Thanks Foster. I knew that you would be up for an adventure.”
Foster smiled back, but she felt a little part of her breaking. The year was starting much the same that as how her last year had begun. It didn’t bode well for the future, but Foster tried to think about the good. Her mother was in good spirits with everything going on, so Foster figured she could be as well.
“It sounds like it will be fun Mom.”