Chapter 6: Joel
“I am glad you came home, son. It has been hard around here with you gone.”
I nodded my head and made a drink for the both of us. This was the time for guilt I assumed and he ran through the same rhetoric again. Sometimes I thought that he would never forgive me for leaving and sometimes I wish I hadn’t, but there was nothing that could be done about it now. “Well I am here now. I was hoping to get started tomorrow.”
“Good, good. I have a few plans I want to show you.”
I shook my head again. I didn’t want to hear them. “Let me just get the training side back up again. I saw the new land, new fields. It is going to be something over there. It is the most profit and it is what I want to do, what I am good at.”
He was dying to say something, his large eyes almost bulging like it was painful to hold it in. “Fine, I think that is a good idea.”
“I’ve also hired in a few people and I am swapping some more around, get people where they should be.”
I didn’t know why I said it, maybe to show that it was my show now. I had told him when he called that if he wanted me to come back, I was going to be the one running the ranch. Mom thought that she was getting a vacation and I wanted to make sure that she did.
“Good. Who are you moving?”
Knowing he couldn’t let it go, I told him my plans for Shannon. He instantly got animated and suspicious of my reasoning. That was the father that I knew, always looking down on my decisions. I knew that putting a girl in a training position would chap his ass, but it was more for Shannon than a slight towards my father. “Why would you do that?”
“Because she is great with horses. Thunder has never been more cooperative.”
“That is just one horse.”
“Father, why are you so against it?”
“I don’t want a woman to get hurt. They are more delicate and with some of these wild horses we get in here, I don’t want anything to happen. With a man, it is different.”
I couldn’t see how he thought that was true, but it was the first time he had given me a reason. I had honestly thought he was just being chauvinistic. “She will be fine.”
“Are you sure you don’t want her down there with you for another reason?”
I shook it off. “She is a kid dad.”
“I may be an old man son, but even I know that is not true.”
“I’ll admit she is a pretty girl, but I am not ready for any kind of relationship.”
We talked a little bit more and it was the first time that we had had such a long conversation without arguing. It was nice, but the time urged me on my time schedule. He took it better than I had thought he would and I was starting to think that maybe it wasn’t the worst idea, coming home.
***
“Is that seriously all you brought?”
I looked down at the duffel bag and nodded. “Yeah. I am trying to figure out where you are going to put all of this. Just be thankful I didn’t bring ten pairs of shoes as well.”
“Do you even have that many?”
“No, but apparently you do. You do realize that we are going to be training these horses, right?”
She sighed and started putting up her clothes in the closet. I watched her for a time. She was still acting differently, almost cold whenever I said anything to her. I didn’t understand her mood, though I think that it had something to do with me telling her no the other night. She had to know why I did. It wasn’t because I didn’t want her, but because we couldn’t be together. I couldn’t be with anyone.
“Are you always this pleasant?”
She nodded. “Yes, this is what you have to look forward to. Haven’t you ever lived with a woman?”
“No I can’t say that I have. My last roommates were twenty four other guys.”
“Well, this will be a little different.”
“I can see that.”
“So are we working today or no?”
“No, I know that you did your work this morning. So you can just take the rest of the day to get settled. I have a few things to do and I will see you later.”
“Well can I help you with it? I hate to just be lying around all day.”
“Fine. I am just going to get the stables ready for some new arrivals in the morning. If you want to help, you are more than welcome to, but I am not a slave driver like my dad. You can have some time off if you want.”
There was only an afternoon left, but she didn’t seem worried about it. The truth was that every time I was around her, I wanted to do things that I wasn’t supposed to. Already rethinking my plan for us to work together, being in close quarters with Shannon was going to be harder than I thought.
That evening I couldn’t sleep with her so close. I was afraid the dreams would come back, but I had to sleep and eventually did. Instead of the dreams of war, it was the first time in a long time that I had dreams of her. When I woke up the next morning, she was already up, scantily clad making breakfast on the hot plate. I was hard and needy, but I tried to ignore my cravings and forget the dream that made me feel alive again.
“Morning, Joel. Did you sleep good?”