Callie

Dad and I went about our business for the next week without talking about my situation. I liked it better that way. He knew that when I was ready, I'd tell him to put in the call to Aunt Margaret.

The invitation came in a square, gold-edged envelope and was addressed to me. It seemed that Karen Tillman was marrying Doug Clary and I was invited. They had been another couple at the graduation bonfire. Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, the wedding was only a week away and the invitation required no R.S.V.P. It was to be a casual affair held outdoors at a state park with an outdoor buffet to follow. I called Karen and told her I'd be there. I was actually dreading it, since it would be the first event I'd gone to without Michael towering over me. I knew Michael was deep into football season and had a game that day. There was no way he'd be showing up. It would be a treat to see my friends, though, and most likely the last time I'd show up in public for a while. I was looking forward to going.

The afternoon was hot and the humidity made everything outdoors sticky to the touch. I chose to wear a short, spaghetti strap dress in pale yellow and a pair of white sandals. I braided my hair, pinned it into a coronet-style bun on top of my head, and added a few yellow rosebuds made from silk. If there was ever a time that I really looked like the fairy people told me I resembled, that was the moment.

I drove to the park in the old truck we generally used for farm errands. It had no air conditioning other than its two windows with hand cranks to lower the glass. I felt a little nauseated, but it was probably too soon to be from the pregnancy and I blamed it on the heat. I was glad I had tucked a handkerchief into my clutch. I would find a glass of ice water to dip it in.

The parking lot was half full when I arrived. I knew it wouldn't be a large wedding, especially if it was being held under the circumstances I suspected. But then, who was I to judge? I took a seat in the back row at the end so I could leave at a moment's notice if I began to feel more ill. I wished I had air-conditioning in the truck; at least it would've provided refuge from the heat. As it was, the park had little shade; it focused on a small, man-made lake with ducks and a few geese that provided background music. There weren't many trees.

The bride and groom looked... content, that would be a kind way to put it. In truth, they were both flushed from the heat and perhaps an awkward embarrassment. I had never gotten the impression that the two of them were particularly in love. It seemed there were many relationships like that, including mine with Michael, as I now realized. They were relationships based on high school, but not on life in the long term. The guests stood as the bride's brother played the wedding song on his guitar and she walked down the grassy aisle between the rented folding chairs. The ceremony was brief and I was glad. I wanted to get out of the heat in the worst way. One advantage to being at the back of the group was that I was among the first at the refreshment table.

"Could I have the biggest glass of ice water you can give me, please?" I recognized the girl who was helping to serve, but I couldn't remember her name. She hadn't been in my particular group of friends, but I'd seen her in the hallway often enough. I gave her an extra smile and nodded. "How are you?"

"Ready to melt, aren't you?" she gushed, showing me an almost deferential attitude. This puzzled me, but I was too hot and feeling too ill to worry about it. I found probably the only seat at the picnic table that was out of the sun. I quickly took it and slowly drank the water, being careful not to gulp so it wouldn't make me ill.

"Well, look who's here," said a voice at my elbow. I turned to find Clayton Pierce, who just happened to be Michael's best friend. It hurt me to see him, as it was a reminder that Michael himself wasn't there.

"Hello, Clayton. I haven't seen you since graduation night. What have you been doing with yourself all summer?"

"Not too much, yet. I'm letting myself have a little vacation before I start working in September."

"Oh? Do you already have something lined up?"

"Yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones, I suppose. My uncle owns a small manufacturing company in Louisville and is bringing me on board. He doesn't have any children, so I'm thinking he intends to make me his successor."

"Well, that's handy," I said. "Is it something you think you would like to do?"

"I really don't have much choice, do I? After all, I'm not a great big football star with an athletic scholarship and a law office in my future, am I?"

"I imagine you're referring to Michael?"

Again, it hurt me, just to say his very name. Michael had influenced the rest of my life; the evidence of that was making me nauseous at that very moment. But I was a big girl. I knew I could have said no, but I didn't. So I deserved my fate.

"Funny you should mention him. I was just down to see him last weekend, you know."

There was no breeze for a moment, and I felt my head whirl as though I would pass out. It must've been obvious, as Clayton noticed.

"Hey, are you okay? You look a little green."

"It's just the heat, I'm sure. I was hoping the weather reports were wrong." Just then we heard a rumble of thunder in the distance. "Oh, thank God, a little relief."

"Sorry, but it's just one cloud. No relief there. Here, why don't I get you a drink?"

"No, that's okay, I have some ice water."

"At least let me have it refreshed for you. I won't take no for an answer," he said as he climbed away from the picnic table and headed toward the bar. I appreciated his company. It made me feel a little less lonely. I looked around the crowd and saw a few others I'd gone to school with. I waved and smiled, but didn't budge from my spot to go visit with anyone. I didn't want to get into long conversations, because I knew they would ask where Michael was or how he was doing or whether I planned to see him soon or some other equally hurtful question. It was better just to keep my distance.

"Here you go," Clayton said as he dropped back into his chair, setting a tall glass with plenty of ice in front of me. I took several long gulps and then frowned as I tasted something odd.

"What is this?"

"It's just water," he answered. "I had them put a little lemon and lime in it. That helps to settle the stomach and it's more refreshing than just the water alone."

I nodded and drank the glass down, then held it out to him. "Would you mind? It really was awfully good."

"My pleasure," he said, leaving the picnic table once again and this time returning with two identical glasses. "I brought you an extra," he said. I nodded my thanks and took a few more deep sips.

"So, what were you saying about seeing Michael?" I knew I was torturing myself, but I wanted to hear the worst of it.

"I went down and saw his football game, spent a little time with him."

"How was he doing?"

"Better than fine, if I'm any judge. He had a marvelous game, was surrounded by fans afterwards and then treated like a prince at his father's after-game party at the Galt House."

"I'm really happy for him." It was the best I could do without bursting into tears. I finished the rest of the second glass of water and began on the third.

"Do you mean to tell me he doesn't keep in touch with you?"

I shook my head. "No, I haven't seen him since he left."

"Oh, well, that explains it."

"Explains what?" I took another deep gulp to get ready for what I knew was about to be said.

"Well, I don't really feel comfortable just dumping it on you like this. Did the two of you have an agreement when he left?"

"No, not really. He's going to be in school for a very long time, and me, well, let's just say that our lives don't run in tandem."

"No, I see your point. Well, then it probably will come as no surprise to you to hear that he's quite the man around campus."

I felt the stab as his words sank in. I had to take a few deep breaths, because I felt like I was going to puke on the spot. I took another drink and the lemons did seem to help a little. "Meaning...?"

"Well, let's just say he has no shortage of companionship."

There. Clayton had said it. I'd known it was coming, I'd known it all along. There wasn't any way to whitewash the truth, and if I'd been under any illusion that Michael was going to remain celibate for the next seven or more years, I'd been out of my mind.

As for the ring, that hadn't been much more than an awkward goodbye gift. There was no symbolism behind it. I knew Michael was moving on, and I guess in a way he was telling me to do the same. If I thought about it too hard, it almost seemed like a thank-you gift for sleeping with him. Damn! That hurt. Why am I doing this to myself?

"Maybe this isn't the right time to bring it up, Callie, but I don't get to see you very often, so maybe it's the only chance I'll have. I've had a thing for you for quite a while. Did you know that?"

I coughed a little at what he was saying. It came as a complete surprise. Michael had always eclipsed the other boys, and if anyone else had ever been interested in me, it was completely off my radar. "Really?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, it does. It was always... Michael."

"Well, Callie, things change. We all knew when we graduated that we'd go in different directions. We'll always be friends, but we can't all stay together. I guess Michael is on his journey right now, and you will have your own. Again, this might be poor timing, but I was wondering if you would have dinner with me?"

Jesus, where did that come from? I'd never expected a dinner proposal. I was more focused on the fact that Michael had moved on, despite all that we had been together. I was hurt, I was angry, and that veil of black fury that made me vindictive was beginning to rise inside my brain. It wasn't often that it happened, and on those rare occasions, it was almost always jealousy and my competitive nature that prompted it.

"When did you have in mind?" I heard myself ask. No, I had no business going out with anyone, but I was going to show Michael Shannon that he did not shut down my life the day he walked away. If I was going to start dating, why not with someone I already knew?

"How about right now? After all, the wedding is over, it's too damned hot out here, and you and I are already dressed up. What do you say I take you into town and let's have dinner at a nice cool, dark place?"

"Wow, that sounds so wonderful right now. Especially the dark, cool place part."

He took my hand. "Then let's get out of here. We'll drop your truck off at your place and take my car from there. That okay?"

I nodded and thankfully climbed into the truck and headed home. Dad was out in the fields somewhere, so I left him a quick note and climbed into Clayton's cool, leather interior for our ride into town. I was feeling pretty good by that time and looking forward to some conversation and a nice meal. Clayton was one of our group, and although I knew him to be a little wild, he could be quite the gentleman when he wanted.

Clayton chose Equus, an elegant restaurant downtown with floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the skyline. He ordered me more of the same drinks I had at the wedding and I gulped them down. For some reason I had an extraordinary thirst. I assumed it was the heat causing some dehydration. He ordered prime rib for the both of us, although I would have far preferred a light salad. I didn't eat all of my dinner, and he noticed.

"Is everything okay? Is there something wrong with your meal?"

"No, no everything is fine, just dandy."

He smiled and ordered me another glass. I found I would rather drink than eat. Clayton seemed to be enjoying himself, and we spent a couple of companionable hours talking about our high school years. Neither of us was old enough to drink alcohol, but in certain restaurants, by certain people, those things could be overlooked. Clayton was just that sort of person. I noticed he was downing Scotch and sodas at a two to one ratio over my ice water. He seemed to be fully in control, so I didn't let it worry me, and as the evening wore on, I seemed to care less and less.

After dinner, he suggested we go for a ride in the country with the windows down. Kentucky's topography included networks of very narrow, blacktopped roads that ran from one horse farm to the next, often lined by slave walls. They were hilly and often bottlenecked with tight curves, so you had to be careful when approaching one, especially at night. The stars were bright in the cloudless sky, and the sound of frogs, mixed with cicadas, orchestrated the almost carnival ride beneath the moon. I laid my head back against the headrest, and for the first time since Michael had left, I felt very, very relaxed. Clayton was doing an excellent job of navigating the roads, so I had no concerns.

Anyone who knew me would say that I was a conservative person when it came to my lifestyle. I did not drink, smoke or indulge in any recreational drugs.

Therefore, it was a shock, to say the least, that I didn't remember falling asleep. Nor did I remember driving all night. I don't know if I was awake when we dragged the justice of the peace from his bed or when I entered my marriage bed. All I knew afterwards was that by the next day I was Mrs. Clayton Pierce.