Chapter 9

Nicole

The trip to Tahoe was the most maddening, frustrating car ride of my life. Despite his cute and cuddly dog, I was still pissed that he’d all but kidnapped me. Really, I wanted to be in my own car, listening to my own music, and de-stressing before I got to Tahoe and the craziness of Bridezilla Jessica. And okay, maybe I was still pouting a bit. We’d spent most of the hour with his choice of hard rock filling the silence between us. He only turned it down once when we sailed through the McDonald’s morning drive-through for Egg McMuffins and coffee. Kinda made it harder to hate him as much when I knew we shared the same taste in music and food.

I still wasn’t forgiving him, though. Despite his love for his geriatric, diabetic German shepherd. Despite his refusal of my money for breakfast. And despite his love of Led Zeppelin. And especially despite the three orgasms he gave me last night.

It was that last one that was a little bit harder to forget about.

I was reminded of his skill last night every time I glanced at his hands, or his lips, or his lap. Taking a peak at his jean-covered crotch made me blush as I remembered that piercing and how it felt when he was inside me.

Dammit. I couldn’t think like that. He was a caveman alpha biker. I couldn’t forget that. He’d hijacked my Uber ride and had probably tanked my passenger rating with the, I assumed, rude way he’d dismissed the driver.

I still couldn’t get that image of him cuddling his old, blind dog out of my head. The juxtaposition of sweet, old dog and hard, badass biker was heart-melting. And confusing. Just who the hell was Tank?

I’d never been more relieved than when we pulled up to the outdoor wedding venue. The second his truck cruised to a stop, I ripped open the passenger door and bailed out. I was fifteen feet away before Tank’s shouts stopped me.

“Do you want your dress now or do you wanna try to find me later?”

Heaving a huge sigh, I retraced my steps and accepted my huge garment bag from him with a muttered, “Thanks.”

But he didn’t let go. We silently grappled over it for a minute before I threw my hands in the air in frustration. “Fine! You wear the damn thing. I’m sure you’ll look great on Hatchet’s arm in the pictures.”

“Christ, you’re a tough nut to crack. All I want is a little thank-you. Or even better, a thank-you kiss.”

“Sounds good to me. You can kiss my as—”

“Nicole! There you are! Where have you been?” Jessica yelled from the other side of the parking lot. “Emily and Reb got here an hour ago! We have to set up the chairs for the wedding ceremony, then go over to the reception hall and decorate the tables. And why the hell are you still in the parking lot? Get the lead out already!”

“Saved by the Bridezilla.” I tugged my dress out of Tank’s hands, then took a few steps toward Jessica’s end of the parking lot—where she was still jabbering away about today’s to-do list. But before I got too far away I looked back over my shoulder to find Tank’s eyes on my ass.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one who was still thinking of last night.

I put a little extra sway into my step as I walked away.

In contrast to the past week, Jessica was oddly calm today. When her mom, Donna, noticed that the reception venue forgot to include the round mirrors for the centerpieces to sit on, we all held our breath waiting for the epic freak-out to begin. But Jessica just shrugged.

“Do you want me to find the coordinator and get them to dig the mirrors out?” Donna asked as she wrung her hands.

“No, it’s fine, Mom.” Jessica plopped a bowl on the center of the table and began to pour glass beads into it. “See, it looks fine without the mirror. Maybe go find someone to ask about pitchers of water so we can fill up the bowls for the floating candles, though.”

Emily and I stood at the table frozen. I was afraid that any small move on my part might cause Jessica to lose that precious shred of sanity she’d finally found. Meanwhile, Jessica spread a few rose petals around the base of the centerpiece bowl.

“You’re taking this really well,” I said slowly and without making any sudden movements.

“There’s no point in worrying about it now. I spent the last few weeks obsessively getting all my ducks in a row, but it feels silly now. I’m marrying the most amazing man, who loves me and our daughter. Who cares if there aren’t mirrors on the table, or if the tuxedo place forgot my dad’s vest? All that matters is that tonight I’m becoming Mrs. Zag Cooper. Everything else is just filler.”

Emily smiled. “That’s very adult of you.”

“Right?” Jessica laughed. “It’s about time. I am a mother after all.”

“Where is Harley? I haven’t seen her this morning.” I looked around the reception hall but didn’t see any sign of Jessica and Zag’s three-month-old baby.

“She’s with her daddy. Apparently my manic craziness was obvious to even him. He wanted to give me a break so I could help set up the venue.”

“And get Harley out of the line of fire,” I added sotto voce.

“What the hell do you mean by that? I would never hit my child.”

“Oh, whoa. Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just thinking that a crying, fussing baby isn’t the easiest or most calming thing for a stressed-out bride. I just—”

“Wasn’t thinking. Maybe you need to start. I don’t need your pessimistic, angry-girl vibe today, Nic. I’m getting married to the guy I love. The one who makes me feel special and safe and loved. I need your support today, not your mouth.”

“I do. I am. I just…I’m sorry. It’s your wedding day. I want to be here for you. I’m just…”

“I think her brain is fried because she slept with Tank last night,” Emily interjected.

“Em!” I yelled.

“What? It’s not like it was a state secret. Everyone saw you two leaving together last night.” Emily turned to Jessica. “Her car is still at Reb’s house.”

“Really? Wow.” Jessica’s eyes were the size of watermelons.

I glared at Emily. “What’s the big deal? You guys know I’ve had one-night stands before. So what?”

Jessica snorted. “So, you slept with a biker. You, Nicole Evelyn Walker, slept with a biker. Not a computer programmer or a bartender. A biker.”

“Okay, you guys are blowing things way out of proportion.” I fussed with the flower petals on the table and refused to make eye contact. “It’s not that big a deal.”

Jessica’s eyebrows rose. “What was it you said when Emily hooked up with Reb? That we had nabbed the ‘only decent bikers in the whole country’? Sounds like someone changed their stance on bikers.”

I shrugged. I had a hard time putting my thoughts into words, and now more than ever the secret that I kept from them burned at my soul. I wanted to tell my friends about my past, but I didn’t know how. It’d been so long, and so much had happened in the past year and a half. Besides, it was Jessica’s wedding day. I couldn’t ruin it with my drama.

So I said nothing.

Not that it stopped them from teasing me.

“So are you guys gonna start seeing each other?” Emily asked.

I shrugged.

“So spill! I want details, girl.” Jessica leaned closer. “Tell us about Tank’s body. Is it hot? He’s so big. He looks so hard and just buff. Does he have muscles all over? How big is his co—”

“Jessica. Misty. Miller. Did you just say what I think you did?” Donna’s horrified voice broke our little huddle with the efficiency of a pipe bomb.

Jessica rolled her eyes at me and Emily. “Not technically, Mom. You yelled at me before I could finish saying co—”

“Oh my god! What is the matter with you? We’re standing in God’s house and you’re saying such nasty things with your filthy mouth. I raised you so much better than that.”

“Actually this is a casino event space, Mrs. Miller.” I couldn’t help but wade in when I saw Jessica shrinking in the face of her mom’s ire. Jessica might’ve become a more brazen woman while living in sin with Zag for the past year and a half, but even she couldn’t hold up to the scrutiny of her disapproving mother.

“It’s where she’s getting married. Same difference.” Mrs. Miller retorted as she walked to the other side of the hall muttering to herself.

Jessica, Emily, and I tried to muffle our laughter out of respect.

The wedding was gorgeous, moving, and amazing. Jessica looked so vibrant in her wedding dress as her dad walked her down the aisle. And Zag looked every bit like a man in love. Especially when he didn’t even wait for the ceremony to begin before he kissed Jessica. It was the perfect wedding Jessica had dreamed of.

Right up to the moment of the reception that every single woman dreads the most.

“We’d like to gather all the single ladies for the bouquet toss. Please, will all the single ladies come to the center of the dance floor.”

I tossed a death glare at Brittany as she gave me a not so gentle shove toward the dance floor.

“That’s you!” Brittany chortled gleefully. “Fight for it, girlie. We could be at your wedding next!”

Like the bouquet held some sort of special power, granting a husband to the lucky recipient. Was there anything more demoralizing than pointing out the single, loser women and making them fight over a bouquet like gladiators in the center ring?

No, there wasn’t.

Soon I stood in a cluster of ten or so single women on the dance floor. I hung in the back with Emily who, like me, wore a pale pink bridesmaid dress and had her wispy blond hair twisted up in a complicated bun. Jessica had been adamant that we both have our hair up while hers was down. She’d gotten so high-strung the last week before the wedding, if she’d wanted us to wear poufy layers under our dresses we’d have agreed. I was glad she’d had her epiphany today. It’d been so peaceful and unlike the shitshow I’d been afraid it would become.

I could see the sheen of panic in Em’s baby blue eyes, so I passed my longneck bottle to her. She took a gulp of beer, then passed the bottle back to me. We watched Jessica take her position, standing on a chair with her back to us.

Emily groaned. “I forgot to talk to Jessica about this farce. Why do brides still insist on having a bouquet toss? Do they love public humiliation or something?”

The crowd around us chanted. “Five…Four…”

“I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t listen to me,” I lamented before taking another pull on my beer.

“One!”

The three women in front of me dived out of the way like a grenade had been tossed onto the dance floor.

Wap.

The bouquet smacked Emily right in the face. She put her hands out reflexively and caught the clutch of roses.

I couldn’t hold back my laughter. Emily looked like she’d caught a bunch of snakes rather than the rosebuds in her hands.

Emily smiled bravely and held up the bouquet as the audience cheered.

I smirked. “Better you than me.”

She gave me a one-finger salute behind her back as Reb appeared between us and took her hands.

Oh God. He was going to ask her to marry him. Here. The symbolism was undeniable.

Reb bent toward her and kissed her hard. And kissed her. I could clearly see the outline of tongues moving between their mouths. After a few moments, mindful of the audience they’d attracted, I cleared my throat loudly.

“Um, guys. That’s really hot and all, but you do know you’re still in public right? And we have some young eyes here?”

Emily pulled away with a gasp and batted Reb’s hand away from her breast. He chuckled at her glare, then grabbed his eight-year-old son Tucker by the hand and pulled him into their minicircle. Emily’s face flushed deeper. She must’ve truly forgotten where they were.

When was the last time someone kissed me like that? Oh, right. Last night. With Tank.

“We have something we want to ask you,” Reb rumbled. “Tucker?”

Oh, wow.

Tucker blinked his beautiful blue eyes up at her, and I could see all the tension melt from Emily’s frame.

“Emily? Would you move in with us?”

Emily sagged with relief as her laughter bubbled up. “Yes.” She looked down at Tucker as a huge grin swept her face. “Of course I will.”

“Yay!” He jumped in the air, then gave her a huge hug with his scrawny little arms.

Reb’s arms enveloped them as they shared a group hug in the middle of the dance floor. Emily gave Reb a wobbly smile.

“I thought—”

“I know.” Reb smiled back at her. “Neither one of us is ready for that yet. But we might as well make our living arrangements official.”

Emily laughed. “God, I love you two.”

“Right back at ya, sunshine.” Reb kissed her forehead.

“Me, too!” Tucker smiled up at them.

Feeling like I was intruding on their sweet family scene, I retreated to an unoccupied corner of the reception hall. I couldn’t ignore the pang that tore at my chest. Jessica was married. Emily was moving in with her guy. Everyone was moving forward.

Everyone but me.

I still lived in the same apartment I’d had since graduating college. All by myself. The last real relationship I had with a guy was…I couldn’t even remember. There had been hookups here and there—that conference in Atlantic City, the work trip to the Silicon Valley, that dive bar in Sparks, last night with Tank—but nothing longer than a night. Damn, when did I become the queen of the one-night stand?

I chugged the rest of my beer. All my earlier optimism drained out of me. Ugh, tonight had turned out depressing. I silently watched the couples on the dance floor. Jessica and Zag. Emily and Reb. Brittany and Stich. Jessica’s parents. Bikers and their women. Couples I didn’t know. This was why I didn’t like weddings. Like I needed a reminder that I didn’t have a guy. Clutching my empty beer bottle, I headed for the deserted bar.

I set my empty down on the bar top. “Can I get another?”

The cute but married bartender, judging by his wedding ring, bent down to grab a bottle as I dug into my clutch for a tip.

“And another for me.”

I froze as Tank spoke from behind me. He placed his empty and a twenty on the bar top, then palmed my shoulder. I shivered at the electric charge his touch gave me.

Why did it have to be him?

“It’s an open bar.” I doubt he could’ve heard my whisper above the racket of the DJ and the cluster of conversations. I cleared my suddenly froggy throat and tried again. “You don’t have to pay for your drinks.”

“I’m not a hick. This isn’t my first formal party.” Tank tucked the twenty in the tip bowl and gave a head jerk to the bartender. “Me and Justin go way back.”

Justin set two longneck beers down. “Oorah. Once a Marine, always a Marine.”

“Oorah.” Tank nodded back to Justin, then picked up our beers.

I smiled tremulously at Justin before following the man who held my beer. About ten steps later I caught up to him and yanked my beer out of his hand. “Thanks for buying my free beer.”

“No problem, baby girl. You know I really thought you had it there for a minute.”

I took three long pulls before taking a breath and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “I had what where?”

“The flower thing. You know, that Jessica was tossing?”

“The bouquet? Yeah, I was afraid for a minute that that bad juju was gonna touch me, too. Thank God Emily took the bullet for me.” I winced and bit my lip. “Sorry. Bad choice of words. You know what I meant.” We both vividly remembered how Jessica had “taken a bullet.”

“So I take it you’re not big on this whole wedding thing, then?”

“Nope.” I raised my beer to take another pull.

“So you’re probably not interested in dancing?”

I shook my head wordlessly as I drank. Classy, I know, but the thought of swaying on the dance floor with Tank’s arms wrapped around me was torturous. I was too fragile at the moment. My heart screamed for someone to hold me while my mind was warning me of the danger of getting too close to this man. Besides, judging by the way he was acting, being with me was the last thing on Tank’s mind at the moment.

“So Nicole, want to get out of here?”

I gulped air and beer at the same time and promptly did a spit take on Tank’s boots.