Chapter 5: Axel
I don’t like talking about my job. Well, more specifically I don’t like discussing people I’ve killed. Was it a necessary job? Yes, by far. Did I like it? No, not really; but it is what it is.
I don’t like Gareth being reminded of who and what I am. I don’t want him to be afraid of me. When he shivered next to me, I knew he was probably remembering that I kill for a living.
When he slipped on the trail this morning, I almost lost my ever-loving fucking mind. All I could think was to get to him before he slid down that ridge and broke something. Or fell on his head and died. And holding him in my arms? He felt so right in my embrace it seriously weirded me out.
I’ve never wanted anyone close to me; touching me, kissing me — but right then I had wanted to kiss Gareth. I wanted to know what his lips felt like against mine. Just then, Gareth shot me a smile and I relaxed a bit in the passenger seat.
“That made you uncomfortable, didn’t it?”
“How did you know?” I grunted.
“The tone of your voice. Are you going to be okay with them pelting you with questions about your time in the Navy?”
“As long as I don’t go into detail, I should be able to discuss some of it.”
“You don’t have to —”
“No, it’s okay but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I looked over at Gareth. “Does it bother you?”
“What?”
“That I’ve killed people?”
“Well, it is your job isn’t it?”
“That’s not what I asked.”
I could tell Gareth was concentrating, as if he was really pondering my question. I was almost afraid of the answer. I looked out the window. Why did it matter what Gareth thought? In all my years, I couldn’t have given a rat’s ass what people thought of me. But now I was worried he would look at me differently.
“No. It doesn’t bother me.”
I almost didn’t hear him. I turned in the seat and eyed him skeptically.
“It doesn’t?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a necessary evil and it’s you or them. Correct?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, I’d rather have you.”
I tried to keep my face neutral. I don’t normally tell people what I do for a living. Being a gun for hire is lucrative, but it isn’t something you go around announcing to guys you wanna fuck. Wait. I want to fuck Gareth? Who am I kidding? Of course I want to fuck him. I want to do so many things to him, it’s fucking mind bending.
“Axel?”
“Yes?”
“I take it you don’t hear that a lot.”
“No. Can’t say that I do.”
“I wonder — have you ever told a date what you do?”
“I don’t date.”
“You don’t?” Gareth turned to me in surprise.
“No. I don’t have time for dates. I fuck and I go.”
“Oh.”
Did he sound almost sad? I guess I did make myself sound like an asshole. Then again, I am an asshole.
“So you’d never consider a long-term relationship?”
“Would you? I mean, you’re in a band and you tour a lot. Not really conducive to making a relationship work.”
“I don’t know. I think if you love someone enough, you make it work.”
“Has that worked in your relationships?”
“I haven’t had any,” Gareth admitted softly.
“Wait. What? What do you mean you haven’t had any? You came out; you should be able to date.”
“Date who? In the beginning, before I came out, I was having sex with women. Then when I did come out, I actually found it hard to date someone. I’d never know if they’re with me for the fame or what. Besides, I don’t have any experience with men and that was a little scary.”
“You don’t? But what about before?”
“No.” Gareth shook his head. “I was always afraid of getting caught. I’ve never…well, you know.” He ducked his head.
Well, holy tight ass, Batman. Gareth was a man-virgin. The devil on my shoulder reared its ugly head to encourage me, as the angel slapped my rising prick.
“I don’t know what to say to that,” I admitted.
“Yeah, I know — the irony. The gay guy’s never been with a guy.”
“You’ll find the right guy eventually. You’re still young.”
“Well he’s not going to want to be with me if someone is always trying to off me.”
“No one is going to hurt you, you got that?” I practically snarled. “I won’t let it happen.”
Gareth chuckled. “You are so badass, Axel.”
“Don’t you forget it.” I playfully punched him.
“Ow.” Gareth rubbed his upper harm and frowned at me.
~*~
I made Gareth stay in the car as I did a sweep of the treehouse. Even though it was twenty feet above the ground, I was still worried someone was going to get by me. The more time I spend with Gareth, the more I like him. I’d heard so many horror stories from other guys about babysitting, I expected Gareth to be the same way. I went back to the car and Gareth unlocked the doors and got out. He was taking my instructions seriously and I was grateful.
I opened the door and followed him in. He flipped on the kitchen light, opened the fridge and grabbed two water bottles. He handed me one and then propped against the counter, sipping his.
“So, camping is okay with you? We’re going to be out in the open.”
I strode across to the big picture window and stared out into the night.
“I’m fucking ninja.” I smirked. “I’ll be covering a mile in each direction of your camp site.”
“Do I want to know why?”
“No.”
“Axel?”
“What?”
“Why did you take this job? I mean, you’re a badass Navy SEAL and you’re protecting some gay kid.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I turned to face him.
“Well, it’s the SEALS. You have to be pretty damned manly to be a SEAL. You know, no gay guys allowed.”
“Are you serious right now?” I glared at him. “Being gay doesn’t make you weak! It just means you prefer a different hole for fucks sake!”
“I’m sorry,” Gareth whispered.
I crossed the room until I was right in his face. Gareth flinched as I grabbed the front of his shirt.
“Do not ever belittle yourself for who you are. Do you understand me? Being gay doesn’t make you weak, or an abomination. That’s what judgmental assholes say to make themselves feel better about something they could never understand.” I took a step back and smoothed out the front of his shirt. “Just so you know? This badass SEAL? Yeah, he’s gay.”
I turned on my heel and stalked across the room, slamming the bathroom door behind me. I leaned against the bathroom sink and took a long look in the mirror. Gareth thought I’d hate him or look at him differently just because he’s gay? Hell, either way, his life was worth saving. I hung my head and sighed deeply. There was a soft knock on the door and I cracked it open. Gareth stood there, his eyes glazed as if he were about to cry.
“What’s wrong?” I opened the door fully.
“Is that true?”
The green eyes locked on mine and I swear to God my knees almost buckled. This kid affected me in a way no one else ever had. I found myself wanting things I’d never wanted before. I nodded instead of speaking. Gareth’s shoulders relaxed and he ducked his head to the side.
“Okay.” He gazed back at me and bit his bottom lip. “I gotta pee.”
“Oh. Okay.” I stepped around him to let him in.
“Axel?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“I should have said it sooner, I guess.”
“Why? Do straight people go around saying, ‘Hey I’m so and so and I’m straight’?”
I chuckled at that thought.
“I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am. I’m Gareth Wolf.” He smiled and shut the door.
I placed my hand on the door and closed my eyes. “Yes. Yes you are.”
~*~
Gareth maneuvered his Jeep alongside Ransom’s Land Rover; the other band members had gotten there already and were cleaning out the area. I grabbed the tent and sleeping bags and followed Gareth to the fire pit. Another car rolled up behind us and I whirled around, hand on my gun. Gareth’s hand closed over mine.
“It’s okay. It’s Mikey and the guys.”
“You didn’t say they were coming, too.”
“I didn’t? Shit, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Can you sit right here for me? I’m going to go make a phone call.”
“Up here? You’ll be lucky if you have signal.”
I narrowed my eyes at Gareth and turned around, walking back toward his Jeep. I dialed Mac as I kept my eyes glued to the men in front of me. He answered on the fourth ring and I could barely hear him.
“Hey, Mac. I need a favor.”
“Where the hell are you? In some underwater cave?”
“Never mind where I am. I need you to run background checks on a few people.”
“Ah, taking the babysitting duty seriously now?”
“Look, I infiltrate places. I don’t need to think about protecting someone when I do my job. This is different.”
“Look at it this way. Pretend you’re keeping Gareth safe from you.”
Well. That was another way of looking at it for sure. What would I do if I were after Gareth? My eyes widened and I spun around, keeping my voice low.
“Check on the dad in prison and check on Paul’s assistant, Stan. If Stan has a parking ticket I want to know about it.”
I gave Mac the names of the guys who were camping with us as well. When I mentioned Gareth’s bandmates, Mac chuckled.
“I did that before you even headed out. I needed to know my guy was safe as well.”
“Aw, you do care,” I snickered.
“Fuck off.”
“Later. Get back to me with that info.”
“With what info?”
I turned to find Gareth standing right behind me, head tilted to one side.
“Nothing you need to worry about.” I shepherded him back to the fire pit.
“Shit! Did anyone bring the pot?” Ransom rummaged through his bag.
“I thought you guys didn’t do drugs?” I asked in astonishment.
“Cooking pot, Hulk,” Ransom corrected.
“Fuck my life.” Gareth sighed. “I was supposed to bring it.”
“No worries.” I walked back to the Jeep and grabbed the cooler from the back. I pulled out a mini keg of Heineken and grinned. “A pot.”
“You said you never drink on the job,” Gareth scowled.
“Yep,” I acknowledged. “We’re going to cook in it. Years of roughing it taught me that these bad boys make awesome pots.”
“I’ll help get rid of some of the beer.” Rebel raised his hand.
“I was hoping one of you guys would volunteer,” I chuckled.
“You don’t drink?” Rebel asked me.
“You heard Gareth. Not on duty. Never.” I shook my head.
“I’ll drink it. How much do you want left for cooking the hot dogs?” Doug grinned.
“I’ll help.” Arson nodded.
“Damn drunks!” Gareth laughed. “You know Doug is Native American. That’s why he can drink so much.”
“I always heard Native Americans can’t hold their liquor,” Arson piped up.
“Are you quite finished tossing around stereotypes?” Doug looked perturbed. “Yes, alcoholism is a serious problem among several ethnic groups. But that doesn’t mean every member of that group has a problem with it.”
I tried to lighten up the atmosphere. “Arson, you are the whitest Native American I’ve ever seen,” I laughed.
“Yeah, and you’re a moron, muscle head. Oh, wait. That stereotype is true!”
I rolled my eyes.
“This has got to be a dream come true for you, Gareth.” Mikey grinned.
“Meaning?” Gareth raised a brow.
“Out in the wilderness with a bunch of men.”
I opened my mouth and Gareth huffed.
“Please. Like I would ever touch one of you guys,” he drawled. “I prefer my men to be men.”
“Ouch!” Rebel laughed. “That was harsh, dude!”
“If any of you even thinks ‘paddle faster’...” Gareth warned.
“You do know why we all get into the business, don’t you, Axel?” Jim grinned.
“Money? Fame?”
“It’s all about the LLC.”
“Limited liability company?”
“Nope, limited love corporation.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. The rest of the guys broke out into laughter and Mikey grabbed Gareth in a hug. We sat around the fire and I told the guys some of my finer moments in the military. I kept out details of course.
“Axel wants to see what I’ve got,” Gareth spoke up.
The whole group turned as one to look at me, eyebrows to their hairlines. I furrowed my brows and sighed in exasperation.
“Fighting skills,” I clarified.
“Oh.” Rebel chuckled, sounding somewhat relieved.
I stretched my arms up and cracked my knuckles. Turning to Gareth, I shot him a wicked grin.
“Feel like going a round?”
Gareth stood and cracked his neck from side to side. He bounced on his toes and walked to the tarp on the ground. I joined him, and the rest of the guys took spots around the tarp.
“Hey, Axel, don’t break my brother!” Ransom warned.
I turned to look at him over my shoulder and went down with a grunt. Gareth stood over me with a wide smile on his face.
“Don’t ever turn your back on an opponent.” He winked.
I jumped to my feet and took his hand, throwing him over my shoulder. Gareth squawked, kicking his feet and slapping my back. The guys were laughing their asses off and Gareth finally stopped struggling and calmed down.
“Will you put me down now?” he snapped.
“Yep.” I put him down carefully and checked him from head to toe. “Don’t re-open your knee doing something stupid.”
“This is not over.” Gareth pointed a finger at me.
“It is for now. I’m hungry.”
Gareth pushed by me and headed for the fire. The rest of them followed suit except for Ransom. He was staring at me. I crossed my arms and fixed him with my most serious look.
“What?” I asked.
“My brother likes you.”
“What?” I stammered. “I’m his bodyguard. There’s nothing going on.”
“Yeah, I know that but I see the way he looks at you. Let him down easy, okay? I don’t want him hurt. He’s had enough to deal with coming out and being threatened. Last thing he needs is to fall for a straight guy.”
I leaned slightly into Ransom’s face. “Who said I was straight?” I fully enjoyed the look of shock I got as I brushed by him on my way back to the fire.
I stepped up to Gareth and leaned into his ear. “I’m going to take a quick look around, okay? I should be back in about an hour. Stay by Ransom.”
“Okay.” Gareth nodded.
I grinned as I walked by Ransom; he still looked shocked. I ran into the trees, checking vantage points. I know where I would be if I was hired to take out someone who was camping.
In a tree.
With a high-powered scope and a silencer.
My skin broke out in a fine sheen of sweat as I thought about any harm coming to Gareth. I would not let that happen, come hell or high water. I grabbed the motion sensors from the back of my cargo pants and proceeded to place them in areas that would catch anyone trying to get close to the camp. I hadn’t told Gareth I brought my equipment with me. He needed to relax.
This way I might be able to as well.
I took one last look around as the sun began its descent and headed back to the campground. Gareth smiled when he spotted me and I felt an ache in my chest. I gave him a quick wink and I’m pretty sure he blushed.
After dinner, I helped Gareth set up his tent. I couldn’t stand up in it, which had Gareth collapsed in a fit of laughter when I kept hitting my head on the pole. There was just enough room for two and I spread my sleeping bag out by the door of the tent. Gareth opened his own sleeping bag and looked to me for guidance.
“You can put it next to mine,” I assured him. “I’ll be guarding you just like I always do.”
“What are you guarding me from? These guys?”
“Bears.” I shrugged.
“Bears? I haven’t seen a bear out here.”
“Never know.”
“Um. I’m going to go sit by the fire.” Gareth squeezed past me.
“I’ll be right there.”
I checked my gun and grabbed my jacket, heading out after Gareth. The guys were laughing around the campfire. Gareth sat down next to his brother and I stood behind them with a view of the campsite. By midnight, they started to disperse and head to their respective tents. I followed Gareth to his and let him in first. I took my shoes off outside the tent and placed them by my feet. Gareth just stood there watching me.
“What?”
“I, uh, I’ve never undressed in front of anyone.”
“Well, I’ve seen you in swim shorts. What are you wearing?”
“Boxers.”
“I think I’ll survive,” I drawled.
I chuckled as Gareth climbed into his sleeping bag and removed his clothing.
“You don’t have to do that.” I sat down and smiled at him.
“When you said you liked ‘then’ music, what did you mean?”
I blinked at the change in conversation. “Well, I grew up listening to my dad’s stuff. Seventies music.”
“That is ‘then’ isn’t it?” Gareth snickered.
“Have you ever listened to any of those bands?”
“No. Not really.”
“Well, I think you’d like it.”
“Probably.”
“Get some sleep.” I sprawled out on my back and looked up at the stars through the mesh roof of the tent.
~*~
My eyes sprang open at the soft beep coming from my motion sensor unit. I stole a glance at Gareth and saw him sleeping peacefully. Well. I hadn’t really thought this through, had I? I couldn’t leave Gareth to investigate. I sighed and ran a hand through my buzz-cut hair. I pulled the gun from under my pillow and sat up. I had no choice but to stay awake.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
The sun came up as it always does and I waited patiently for Gareth to wake up. I was itching to get out there and find footprints, if there were any. Gareth sighed in his sleep and I looked over his peaceful face. His lips were damn near perfect. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone as much as I want to kiss him right now. In fact, I have never really wanted to kiss anyone. Period. Gareth’s eyelashes fluttered and then his eyes opened. A slight smile curved his lips.
“Hey,” he said sleepily, his voice slightly husky.
“Hey. Can you get dressed and come with me?”
“Where are we going?” Gareth snapped up, staring at me. “Is something wrong?”
“I don’t think so, but I need to check a few things.”
“Okay.” He grabbed his jeans. “Just give me five minutes.”
We headed out into the forest and I followed my tracks from the day before, making sure Gareth stayed next to me. The motion sensor to the east was the one that had gone off. As we neared the area, I crouched down, running my finger through the dirt.
“What is it?” Gareth asked.
“Elk.” I sighed audibly.
The rest of the area was grassy, which would make it hard to see footprints. I walked around slowly, studying the entire area before turning back to Gareth.
“I think we should go back to the house tonight.”
“Okay.” Gareth nodded immediately. “Are you worried about something?”
“I’m worried about you. I couldn’t leave you last night to come check this out. This isn’t safe out here.”
“Okay. I’ll let the guys know.”
“Just like that?” I cocked a brow. “No fighting me on this?”
“I don’t know what your ‘friends’ have told you about their babysitting jobs, but it’s becoming quite clear I’m not like that. You were hired to watch my back and keep me alive. I’d like to stay alive. So, yes, I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
I opened my mouth to spout off some sexual innuendo and then thought better of it. My job was to keep Gareth alive and breathing. Not to fuck him. I really need to remind myself of that on a damn daily basis.
“Okay.”