Chapter 6: Gareth
Ransom actually took our leaving early pretty well. I know he’s still freaked out about the letters. I am, too. Never in a million years did I think someone would want to kill me just because I prefer men to women. I guess that makes me a little naïve since threats against gays happen all the time. Maybe not on this level, but I shouldn’t think I’m above it all because I’m not. Before I was Gareth Wolf, I was Gareth O’Donovan, small town kid.
I peeked at Axel in the passenger seat. He was staring at his phone in deep thought. I wonder how much he really knows about me. Axel asked if we could go into town to Paul’s office. I know Paul is out, but Stan will be in. Paul always goes to Hawaii for a week when we’re on hiatus. I pulled up to the brick office and Axel got out of the car first. He checked the area and then came back to the car.
“Okay, come on.” He held his hand out.
I slipped my hand into his and a wave of lust shot straight through me. I almost gasped at the sensation in my balls. Oh, I had it bad for my former Navy SEAL.
I squashed down the feeling of euphoria in my dick and followed Axel to the front door of the building. Stan’s car was parked on the side and I could see through the window that he was inside the building. Axel knocked and Stan’s head snapped up. A look of fear passed over his features and I furrowed my brows.
He opened the door and took a few steps back.
“Um, hi. What can I do for you?” he asked.
Axel pushed him back and walked into the office. I gave him an apologetic smile and followed behind Axel.
“Stan, is it?” Axel stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed.
“Y-yes.” Stan nodded.
“Are you a homophobe?” Axel glared at Stan.
My mouth dropped open. Poor Stan looked like someone had frozen him in carbonite. It took a few seconds of silence and then Stan’s face finally moved. I sighed in relief.
“W-what?” Stan stammered.
“I think you heard me the first time, didn’t you?” Axel asked pointedly.
“No, I’m no homophobe! Hell! Why would you ask me that?” Stan shouted.
I raised my hand. “That might be my fault. I’ve heard you before talking about ‘the little fag’.”
“Please! I was telling stupid reporters not to use that phrase when speaking about you. I’m not homophobic, Gareth. I’m fucking gay!”
I blinked.
Well, I didn’t see that one coming. Axel was still staring at Stan with a look that could only be described as predatory. His eyes narrowed even further and he took three steps until he was right in Stan’s face. I almost felt sorry for the guy.
“You’re gay?” Axel eyed Stan from head to toe.
“Yes. I am. Do I have to prove it?”
“How would that go?” I asked with a grin.
Axel’s head snapped to me on a growl and I pursed my lips.
“Look, I would never do or say anything to hurt Gareth, okay?” Stan raised his hands in defeat, up and palms out.
Axel took a step back and motioned for me. I stood beside him and waited for whatever he had to say.
“What do you have access to, Stan?”
“What do you need?” Stan walked back toward his desk and Axel and I followed. He pulled out a large box and lifted the lid off. Inside were three different sections with various-sized letters inside.
“This is the fan mail the guys get. This one I just pulled out of the closet to see if I could find any matching letters to the bad ones Gareth gets.”
“That’s very smart, Stan.” Axel leaned over the box, peering inside. “How old are these?”
“About six months or so. There are older ones in the back of the utility closet.”
“Could you bring those out?” I asked.
“Sure.” Stan nodded and shot me a small smile. “I’d never hurt you, Gareth.”
“Thanks, Stan.”
I sat down at the desk as Stan went to the utility closet. Axel grabbed a handful of letters from the box. He glanced over his shoulder at me and lifted his chin.
“I think Stan has a crush.”
“Really?” I asked in surprise.
“Yes. Really.” Axel lifted his brows.
“Well, he is kind of cute,” I admitted.
Axel huffed and I laughed.
We ended up sitting on the office floor sifting through what had to be a thousand letters. I couldn’t believe Paul would keep so many of them unanswered. More than a few of them were young men thanking me for coming out. I smiled at one in particular. A high school kid finally came out and used me as an example of what he could do with his life. Stan touched my shoulder with a smile of his own.
“You coming out gave a lot of these kids hope.”
“What are these?” Axel held up a small bundle of letters.
“I don’t know.” Stan’s brows furrowed. “I’ve never seen those.”
Axel’s eyes widened as he flipped over the envelope. I leaned over to see ‘Federal Correctional Institution’ stamped on the envelope.
“They’re from my father,” I realized quietly.
Axel ripped one open and began reading. He stood up and grabbed my hand, hauling me to my feet.
“Stan, put these back in the closet,” Axel ordered. “I’m taking Gareth to Tucson.”
“What?” I balked. “Why?”
“We’re going to see your father.”
I slept for the car ride. I didn’t have anything to say to Axel. I know it’s his job to protect me, but how is seeing my father going to accomplish that? Ransom and I changed our names for a reason. Axel pulled into the parking lot and I got out of the car.
“I’m going to see him alone.” Axel took my hands in his. “I need to see his face.”
“For what?”
“I’m good at what I do, Gareth. I’ll know if he’s lying.”
“No. I want to see him.” I shook my head. “You want to be there, fine, but I’m going to talk to him.”
Axel sighed and searched my eyes. I guess he could tell I wasn’t going to back down. I followed behind him as we entered the building. Axel spoke with one of the guards and then made a phone call.
I walked around the sterile white room trying to figure out what the hell I was going to say to my father. A beep and a buzz came from behind me and then Axel placed a hand on my shoulder.
“We’re going to sit with him in a guarded room.”
“Oh. I thought we’d do that phone thingie.”
“No. Come on.”
A guard escorted us into another white room with a table and four chairs. I sat down in one facing the other door across from it and clasped my hands together. Axel stood behind me as the door opened and my father walked into the room. He looked…healthy. His black hair was slicked back and he wore an orange jumpsuit. Chartreuse green eyes met mine and I braced myself.
“Gareth.” His low voice seemed to fill the whole room.
“Dad.” I swallowed hard.
“And who is this?” He nodded to Axel.
“I don’t think you get to ask any questions, Mr. O’Donovan,” Axel said calmly. “In fact, I’ll be asking the questions.”
“You can call me Padraic.” My father sat down and reclined in the seat, staring at me.
“It’s come to our attention, Padraic, that you know your son and his brother are in a band.” Axel sat on the edge of the table and leaned into my father’s face. “Just how long have you known?”
“About a year or so,” my father answered. “We do get cable sometimes. Just not lately.”
“Are you aware that your son has come out as gay?” Axel crossed his arms.
My father’s face went from calm and serene to shocked. Here it came, the homophobic tirade.
“No. I was not aware of that fact.”
“Is that right?” Axel leaned in further. “You’re going to sit there and tell me you had no idea?”
“Do you want me to say it in Gaelic? I. Didn’t. Know.”
“Are you aware he’s been getting death threats?”
“What?!” My father jumped to his feet.
Axel was on him in seconds and I pushed away from the table. A guard entered the room and Axel waved him off. I stood against the wall, hugging my arms around me.
“Get the fuck off me. I wouldn’t hurt my own son, you oaf!”
I took a few steps forward and took Axel’s bicep, pulling him back a bit.
“Just let him talk, Axel.”
“Do they know who’s doing it?” My father addressed the question to me.
“No.”
“Well they better fucking find out!” he practically yelled.
“That’s why I’m here,” Axel interrupted. “It’s my job not only to keep Gareth safe, but to find out who’s doing this to him.”
“And you are?”
“Axel Blaze.”
I had to smile. I could see my father wrestling with the desire to laugh. He seemed so different. Calmer, I guess.
“They got me on some new medication, Gareth. I don’t drink. I’m a changed man. I sent you boys those letters hoping you and Ransom would come see me. Maybe we can mend things between us. You boys are all I have left.”
“You won’t mind if I speak to the guards and the warden then?” Axel arched a brow.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” He turned to me and put a hand out. “I want a relationship with you boys. It’s not about money and it’s not about fame. I would rather stay in peace and quiet. I just want a relationship with you boys. Do you think we can do that?”
I looked to Axel and he nodded once. I took my father’s hand and squeezed it.
“I’m so damn proud of you, Gareth,” my father choked out.
My stomach lurched and I knew I was about to cry. I turned away from him and walked to the door. Axel was right behind me. He turned to look over his shoulder.
“We’ll be in touch.”
“Gareth.”
I turned to see my father with a small smile.
“You tell your brother I love him. I love you both.”
I nodded and headed out the door.
~*~
Axel shut the curtains in the small hotel room and turned to face me. I clasped my hands together and stared at my lap. I didn’t know what to think. My father had changed so much. He couldn’t be the one threatening me. It wasn’t possible. Axel had confirmed that when he spoke to the warden and guards. My father kept to himself and read a lot.
“Gareth. Are you okay?” Axel sat down on the bed next to me.
“Yes. I guess. I can’t believe how much he’s changed.”
“The guards say he spends a lot of time in the chapel. I guess he doesn’t have any issues with his son being gay. I saw shock, but no disgust.”
“That’s good.” I nodded absentmindedly. “I’m really tired of the disgusted looks.”
“Fuck those people,” Axel snapped.
“Not really in the mood,” I answered with a grin.
“Ha, ha.” Axel fell back on the bed and put his hands behind his head. His T-shirt pulled up and I enjoyed the view of that gorgeous happy trail.
“So. We stay here tonight and then it’s back to Flagstaff?” I asked.
“Yeah. I have some things I want to get from Paul’s office. I’m going to make sure I go through all those boxes. I can’t believe Paul didn’t give you the letters from your dad.”
“Maybe he thought it would freak me and Ransom out.”
“I don’t know,” Axel sighed.
“Hey, are you hungry? I could really go for some pizza.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” Axel sat up on the bed. “No pineapple.”
“Ew. Who the fuck would eat pineapple on a pizza?” I asked seriously.
Axel grinned. “Yeah? What about syrup on sausage?”
“That’s just nasty. I can eat flavored sausage, you know, when they infuse it with maple syrup or something; but dunking it in that shit? Hell, no.”
Axel seemed pleased with my answer and sat forward a little more. He looked into my eyes and smiled.
“Grape jam?”
“Okay, I’m sorry but I don’t even know why they make grape jam. Who the fuck eats that shit?”
Axel’s loud laugh almost scared me off the bed. I stared at him wide eyed. I’d never heard his laugh. It was perfect. Deep and throaty.
Axel placed the pizza order and thirty minutes later, we sat on the bed eating it as we watched the news. I felt comfortable with him, more than I had with anyone in my life besides my brother. I yawned and stretched my arms. I was bone tired. First the long drive, and then the visit with my father.
Axel grabbed a pillow off the king-sized bed and threw it on the floor. I leaned over the edge of the bed as he got comfortable on the floor.
“Axel?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s a king bed. I don’t think we’ll bump into each other.”
“I don’t know.” Axel’s brows pinched in thought.
“I promise not to try anything with you.” I waggled my brows.
“You stay on the right side.” Axel pointed a finger at me.
“I want the left side. Closer to the bathroom.”
“Whatever.”
~*~
I woke up in a sweat, clutching the sheet as if it were going to save me. I could almost smell the gasoline, the blood. I shivered and inhaled deeply. Strong arms wrapped around me and I blew out a relieved sigh. I wasn’t in the car. I was in Axel’s arms and he was soothing me with that wonderful voice. It made my toes curl.
“Shh. I’ve got you. You’re safe,” he whispered in my ear.
I burrowed into Axel’s neck and closed my eyes. I’d never felt more safe in my life. This man, the man assigned to protect me, brought out feelings in me I’ve never had. It wasn’t just how he looked. He was strong, but also compassionate. I had a hard time remembering that he killed people for a living.
How weird is that?
I nuzzled Axel’s neck and got a soft moan in return. Goose bumps broke out down my arms as Axel’s pulled me in even closer. I breathed him in, and the smell of soap and something uniquely Axel tickled my senses. My lips grazed his neck and his fingers dug into my hip. I arched into him, tipping my head back. Our eyes met and I saw the carnal need in his eyes.
In that instant, Axel released me and backed away. I felt the loss immediately.
“Axel?”
Axel got off the bed and stood a few feet away from me. I got up and came around the side of the bed.
“Don’t.” It was a quiet request.
“Don’t what?” I asked, approaching him slowly. He was shirtless. All that sexy exposed skin was mine for the touching. I stepped in front of him and placed a hand on his chest. His heart galloped under my touch.
“Don’t do this, Gareth. I can’t go there.”
“Why? I can see it in your eyes. You want me.”
“Of course I want you and I know I shouldn’t. I can’t.”
“But —”
“No buts. You have no idea who I am, Gareth. I’m a very dangerous man.” Axel took a few steps away from me. “I can’t do this with you. My job is to keep you alive. I can’t let what I’m feeling affect that.”
“But you do feel something for me.” I backed away as Axel groaned and held his head. “Maybe when this is all over —”
“No,” Axel ground out. “Not ever.”
My stomach plummeted and I nodded slowly. I went back to the bed and crawled under the covers. Axel came back to the bed and took a pillow; he settled on the floor.
“Goodnight, Gareth.”
I didn’t answer him.