My glasses spiral in my hand between my pointer finger and thumb, and I can’t do anything but wait for the glare coming off them when they round up to reflect the light from overhead. Being back to work has been shit. No longer do I stride in and feel on top of the motherfucking world. It feels like a shortcoming, as if I was given a wonderful job with a great opportunity and having a hot as fucking sin boss was a bonus. But it’s turned into Havre and Bell all over again.
I fucked the boss.
Unlike the last time, though, news hasn’t spread around my place of work. My co-workers don’t look at me in disgust or look down at me, which is hard to do since I’m taller than a lot of them. If anyone knows about Paige and me being physically together, they don’t let on.
Well, aside from Len and Parker.
I haven’t seen Paige since yesterday when I tracked her down and when we came back here to get my truck to go our separate ways. I’ve been an unbearable asshole. I’ve spent the majority of today getting my head screwed on right. Only, I’ve failed on that front. I threw aside my normal resolve to keep myself looking professional an hour ago and shoved my sleeves up, revealing my tattoos. I have no plans to leave until the end of the day and have no desire to see anyone at the moment, so I don’t care if my ink is showing.
“Knock, knock. Anyone home?” My office door flies open to welcome in the royal match of Parker. His royal pain in the arse likes to make sure everyone in any room or half the building knows he is near. I’m honestly waiting for him to hire someone to parade in front of him to announce his arrival.
“No, so go away.” My glasses click on the desk before I return them to my face and fake being busy. I am not in the mood for him today.
“Tough shit.” I nearly give myself whiplash with the force I use to pop my head up to the door. Paige strolls into my office right behind Parker and his goofy as hell grin. She glances around the room, to avoid looking at me. A chill follows them into the room and it has nothing to do with the actual temperature of the building or my office.
Standing, I smooth down my vest. My eyes never break from her, pleading with her to just look at me.
“May I help you two?”
“Sit back down, bro.” Parker falls into one of the client seats opposite my desk while Paige continues to stand. Taking my seat once more, I feel a tad bit confused.
Why are they both here?
Parker’s grin is a dirty one. You know the type. It makes your skin crawl with the purpose that lingers behind it.
“What are you two up to?” Is it odd I’ve only been around these two together on a handful of occasions?
Trust me, this is just … weird.
“May I say what a badass you look like today, Ax.” My brow jets up, skeptical of anything coming out of Parker’s mouth. “Seriously, the suit makes you look fierce, and with the sleeves rolled up flashing your tatted, muscular arms, you look like a complete badass.”
Hold on a moment!
Seriously? Fierce? Did I just hear him correctly or has someone been spiking the Kool-Aid? No man—and I’m sorry—but no fucking man ever should call another fierce. It’s just wrong.
My eyes pinch, a look I learned from my father as well to put someone in their place. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to have any effect on Parker.
“Did you come here to tell me that? Both of you?” Paige’s eyes roll; her posture remains stiff with her arms crossed under her fabulous tits. I turn my head back to Parker who is making himself more than comfortable in his seat.
He jerks a thumb at his sister. “I’m not sure why she is here, but I wanted to pay you a visit.” There is a grin kids get when their mum or dad asks to take a picture with their birthday cake, and that’s the one Parker is wearing now. “I wasn’t sure if you two were still fucking, so I wanted to invite you to party with me and some of my lady friends at our big party.”
“I—”
“Asshole, get the fuck out of here now!” Paige’s wild eruption shocks both of us men sitting. “You followed me up here, so find something to do or someone to bug the fuck out of.” Her booted foot slams into the back of the chair, violently setting it back down on all fours and sending Parker’s chest into my desk.
I cringe and wait for the fight to break out.
“And there is my answer.” With a smug look still on his face, Parker stands, bows to his sister, and waves over his head to me as he walks out. When the door slams behind him, the grinding of Paige’s teeth breaks the silence.
“I want to put a boot in his face most days, but then I remember …” She trails off, working her jaw again before looking back at me. Her impassive yet penetrating stare causes me to fidget. Guilt eats away at me. I accused her of something I’m still not certain I did or not. Megan came over last night to talk to me, and between the two of us, we still couldn’t remember a single thing.
None of it makes any fucking sense. I didn’t mix my drinks. I only stuck to beer, so it wouldn’t have been nearly enough for me not to remember waking up and seeing it was Megan and not dream Paige. The only conclusion I can draw is Megan came into my room in her own drunken waste to fuck me and saw a willing and hard body of a man who was dreaming about another woman.
Megan had no truthful answers for me. She claimed she had finished my beer, and with her light weight, passed out on the couch where Levi and Jax left her. Jax agreed to that part but was helpless afterward.
“Will you stop that?” Paige’s fists slam onto my desk top, shaking everything on it. She draws back, her arms returning to their prior position. “Fucking hell, Oz. Sometimes I wonder who the woman is in this connection.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I may be the one with a pussy, but you’re the one acting like one.” She’s threatening my manhood, and I’m gaping like a fucking fish out of the water. Standing, my chair slides backward and into the wall.
“What the fuck, Paige?” Her glare turns into a deep scowl, forcing her brows to knit together. Her posture tells me everything I need to know. She’s fucking livid.
“Will you just get over it?” She rounds my desk. “You accuse me of fucking around, so what if I was?” Her nail pokes me in the chest. “We aren’t in a relationship, Oz.”
“And what if I want to be?”
She takes a step back. “It would be for the best if you go find the little sweetheart you can’t seem to recall fucking.” Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve learned to read Paige’s expressions in her eyes. She covers her emotions and true feelings too well. I have a difficult time getting a true reading from them, but as I look into her eyes now, I see something fading from them. “Go back to what you know and forget about someone you think you lov—”
Like watching glass slowly melt, everything about Paige’s appearance changes, altering into something I saw the very first time we met. There is steel in her gaze that wasn’t there before. Her body posture is back to guarded and distant like it was when she stormed into the meeting room.
“What’s the matter with wanting something together, Paige?” My hands wrap around her upper arms. I feel the stiffness in her muscles, the goose bumps that riddled her flesh and the coolness to the touch where it would normally be heated. “Paige, talk to me.” I push her bangs from her face. It’s a surefire way to piss her off and get her out of this stupor. “There is something between us; don’t you want to see where it could lead?”
Taking a deep breath, she finally moves her eyes meet mine. They are locked down, void of any of the emotions I once saw in them. She moves her shoulders to break free from my hold and backs away.
“You need to come with me.” Walking away, she looks over her shoulder. “That’s why I came up here. There is something you need to do, and it’s long overdue.”
“Paige, let’s talk instead.”
“I don’t want to fucking talk!” I’m taken aback by her snapping at me. Volatile is not an emotion I have seen with Paige, at least not directed at me. “Quit being a pussy bitch and come with me.”
“Now wait a tit.” She takes off, and I’m left to follow her. She heads to the stairs rather than the lift. Wise on her behalf. I can’t ask her questions because I’m too busy keeping up with her. Our feet thunder down the stairs until we reach the ground floor, and without slowing, Paige takes off to the moto garage.
My longer stride helps me keep pace with her. The garage is completely empty when we enter it, but it doesn’t faze Paige. She makes her way over to the lockers and pulls out some much larger gear.
“Put these on.” She thrusts them into my arms, but before she can turn to get gear out of her own locker, I push them back.
“Not fucking happening.”
“Yes, it is fucking happening.” She pushes them back.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not fucking doing it.”
“Yes, you fucking are!” She shoves them back into my arms and slams the clothes and guards into my chest with finality. “I don’t give a shit what excuse you are going to tell me that you’ve been telling yourself for years, but you are riding the fucking bike.”
Turning back around, she strips off her clothes and pulls on her gear, leaving me to watch with a pile of gear I never wanted to wear again.
“I … can’t.” The fear is prominent in my voice. “I—”
“Axle.” My name is more of an exacerbation than a plea. “Put the shit on and then those boots.” She points at a pair that seemed to have materialized from thin air. “You’re riding one of Parker’s.”
“I—”
“It will be for your own good.” This woman loves to cut me off and apparently blindside me with this shit. Hope, confidence, and understanding are the only things that leave her expression and shoot right through me.
I can’t do this for myself.
I’ve tried.
But I can try for her. I could prove to her I’m not the pussy bitch she seems to think I am now. I could show her I’m a man worthy of her and her unique way of looking at life. I can do this for Jax, too. I let the wreck that took this life from him happen, but never once was he negative about it. Instead, he overcame his own struggles and has been by my side, cheering me on to go back to a life I loved.
I get out of my suit and slide into the comfortable clothes I used to wear almost daily. They feel and fit me perfectly and smell new. There is no way she was pulling these out of Parker’s locker.
She bought these new for me. The clothes, the guards, the boots—all of it brand new and made for my size. I walk to the bike she told me I would be riding and take a seat on it. It’s felt like a lifetime since I’ve been on one. Putting my hands on the grips, I squeeze and try to put my mind in the here and now and keep it out of the past.
“Well?” My eyes slowly open. Paige is watching me from her own bike and handing me a helmet. “Let’s remember.” Once I have the red and black helmet, which matches the rest of my clothing, Paige twists the throttle and takes off, leaving a rooster tail of shop dirt gliding to my face.