Jyn

Things have been strained between Noah and me over the last couple of days, so I’m looking forward to hanging out with the girls tonight. He didn’t bat an eye when I told him I was going, but that’s because he’s been walking on eggshells ever since he acted like an ass with me. I didn’t ask him about watching Cari, because that started some of what happened; I just said I was going, and he said okay.

I haven’t cooked him a meal in the past two days, cleaned up after him, or done his laundry. It might be petty, but I’m hurting right now. He doesn’t support me and my job, and I don’t know what to do with that. I’m going back to work, and I can’t make him like it. Just like he can’t make me like the thought of being a happy housechick. Not even a housewife, because we’re not married. Just his baby mama.

“You’re here,” Jen says, engulfing me in a hug when I get to the atrium downstairs.

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

Along with her, there are a few other Society women. Reina, Ellie, Jade, Isa, Kali, and Darcy. They’re all connected to me, or to Noah, and I’m happy to see them.

“I’m glad we could put this together, because I bet you’re going crazy right about now,” Reina says. “I love my boy, but I had to get back to work.”

“Exactly.”

“A paid vacation isn’t a bad thing,” Darcy says, glaring at me.

“Vacation?” I ask, stopping myself from pointing out that I have a baby to take care of. Noah shared with me how she’s having trouble getting pregnant, and no matter how mean she is to me, I won’t throw that in her face.

“Darcy,” Jade says, giving her a look.

“Sorry, Jyn.”

“It’s okay. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinions about me. But, if you don’t want to be here, why are you here?”

“Because my brother loves you.”

“Fair enough.”

‘C’mon, Darce,” Isa says, looking disappointed in her friend.

“It’s really okay. I don’t want her to pretend with me.”

“Good, because I want to know why my brother’s been looking like he lost his puppy the last couple of days.”

“You can ask him if you want to know.”

“I’m asking you.”

Ellie steps right up to her. “Enough, Darce. This is supposed to be fun for Jyn.”

“Where’s my brother’s fun, huh? He’s been taking care of Cari, and working non-stop.”

I barely control my temper, but I do it because I don’t want to fight this woman. “I take care of Cari while he works, and through the night while he sleeps.”

“Which is what you should be doing.”

“Agreed, but do not act like I don’t care for my child. I had some issues, yes, but I would never leave her uncared for. No matter what you and your brother think.”

“Wait, Noah thinks you won’t care for Cari?” Jen asks, her eyes wide. “Because that’s not what he’s told me.”

I might as well get this out there, because it’s not going to be a secret when I’m cleared to go back to work. No, it’s going to be another battle between Noah and me. And probably Darcy, too.

“He wants me to only take care of her. He wants a housewife—well, except for the wife part.”

“That little fucker is still on that?” Darcy asks, startling us all.

“He mentioned it to you?” Jen asks.

“When he first found out about the baby, yeah. I told him he was being an ass, and thought he’d changed his mind.”

“Afraid not. That’s why he’s upset.”

“Nothing against women who want to stay home with their babies, because my mom didn’t work much when I was growing up, and she’s amazing. But yeah, I can’t see you being happy to just keep house all day,” Ellie tells me.

“I’d probably stab myself—or Noah. Just so I could get out of there.”

“This is so unlike Noah,” Jen says, and I see Darcy flinch a little.

“I guess being a parent can change you. I mean, we all know it changed me.”

“Yeah, but you actually had a baby, so chemical imbalance or whatever is understandable,” Jade tells me.

“I’m going to kick his ass,” Darcy says.

I place a hand on her arm as she prepares to storm past me. “I don’t want to cause any trouble with you and Noah.”

“My brother is causing his own problems. As his big sister, I need to help him see that.”

“Words, not fists please.”

“I can’t promise anything, Jyn, but I’m glad to know you care about keeping him intact.”

It’s a little awkward when she leaves, because I can tell Jen wants to follow her, but she doesn’t. The dynamic between the three of them—four if you count Brayden—is messed up, and I wish I could do something to help. I don’t know what to do, so for now, I need to live in the moment, and enjoy my time with friends.

“Who wants to play poker?”

“I never turn down a game, although the girl genius always wins,” Jade says, nodding towards Isa.

“I can’t help it. My mind automatically counts,” she replies.

“Which is why it’s a good thing we make a ton of money, and Jake’s also rich. Otherwise, you’d be in a casino, and then get 86’d to the desert,” Ellie reminds her.

“Eight miles out, and six feet down,” Isa says with a shudder.

“Is that what it means?” I ask, my eyes going wide.

“Yep.”

“Damn.”

We play poker for a few hours, and as expected, Isa wins. Darcy doesn’t come back, and it worries me a little. I don’t know what to expect as I take the elevator upstairs, and walk into the apartment.

* * *

Noah

“You sent my sister after me.”

I told myself I wasn’t going to attack Jyn. I promised Darcy I’d be more understanding, and I planned to be. Seeing her walk through the door, smiling like she didn’t just throw me under the bus, made those plans go out the window.

“No. She asked, and I tried to get out of answering.”

“But you did. You told her I’m some sexist asshole.”

“I told her you want me to stay home, and keep house. ‘Sexist asshole’ never came out of my mouth, although yes, I’ve thought the words over the past few days.”

“This is our business, Jyn.”

She looks like she wants to fight, but instead takes a deep breath, and walks past me. Or at least she tries. I’m furious right now, and she’s not going to ignore me. I grab her arm, pulling her to a stop.

“You know I lost my sister for a lot of years.”

“Yes, I know.”

“And yet, you’re trying to turn her against me.”

“I told you that’s not what happened.”

“She wanted me to file for custody when you were in the hospital.”

She whips her head around, and her mouth falls open. “I would fight you to the death for my daughter.”

“Our daughter.”

“Yes.”

She looks angry, but also vulnerable, and seeing her like that breaks through the red haze of my anger. I still have my hand on her arm, so I pull her to me. She doesn’t hug me back when I wrap my arms around her, but she doesn’t fight me, either.

“I would never do that.”

“Even though I won’t stay home.”

“Even then.”

“I should get some sleep, since we’re going to see your mother tomorrow.”

I let her go, and watch her move to the hallway. She goes into Cari’s room first, checking on our daughter. I’m still standing in the same spot when she moves to our room, giving me a small smile as she does.

I wanted to take Cari to see my mom sooner, but I didn’t want to go alone. Darcy would’ve gone, but Jyn is who I want at my side when I introduce our girl to her grandmother. I’m hoping it’ll be a good day, and mom will recognize me, but if it isn’t, I’m going to need Jyn there to hold Cari while I try not to break down. I don’t visit as often as I should, partly because I feel so freaked out when she doesn’t know me, but the doctors tell me it wouldn’t matter how often I was there. The disease doesn’t work on number of times visited, but that doesn’t mean I’m not feeling guilt about my lack of time spent with her.

Feeling guilty is something I have experience with. Darcy ripped me a new one, and I know she’s right. I also know I fucked up again by attacking Jyn. I simply keep fucking up, and I have to stop. I want to stop, but it’s like I’m powerless to do so. Right now, I need to just go to bed, and pray I can be the nice guy I know I am when I wake up in the morning.