“I hate you. My only ambition is to destroy you.”

 

Sia woke up with a gasp.

He heart was pounding. She slowly recognized the familiar couches and a large picture window of the hospital room where she had been staying over the past week.

She had spent one of the most idyllic weeks with Ajay and Anika at the hospital. There had been no outside intrusion or thoughts to break their happiness.

Until a while ago.

Her nightmare not only woke her up, but also managed to bring her crashing down to reality.

Feeling disoriented, she slowly sat up, trying to make sense of what she heard and felt.

Was that a dream? Or was it real?

Dreams had always been a major part of her life. Sometimes she couldn’t differentiate between reality and illusion. Up until lately, most of those illusions had been giving her much comfort and security. Enough to make her hang onto them and not let go of them that easily.

But she knew. Those particular words uttered by Ajay—about hating her, and wanting to destroy her—were actually real.

Bile rose through her chest and she felt her lungs constrict, making it difficult for her to breathe. She felt like throwing up.

“Are you alright?” a deep voice that had played a major role in her recent illusions asked her from somewhere next to her.

She turned her head and looked at him. Memories continued to swirl inside her head. A mixture of emotions began fighting with each other, until one emotion that was still raw, overpowered everything else.

A feeling of betrayal.

Ajay’s familiar face was watching her in concern and confusion. He still looked very approachable, caring and absolutely gorgeous.

All lies.

She felt the betrayal deep in her chest, devastating her as it spread to every inch of her body.

“I remembered,” she said with a cold look, even as her heart continued pounding with the memories. How could she not remember the conversation? And worse, her confrontation with her uncle!

Ajay’s look turned guarded. “Oh? What exactly do you remember?” he asked quietly.

“Everything,” she spat out. She felt the pressure building inside, filling her up with anger and misery. She fisted her hands, fighting the misery, until all that was left was anger. “I remembered that you targeted me for your personal revenge. I remembered that you played me while joining forces with my uncle. I remember everything!”

Ajay didn’t reply. He looked at her beseechingly, almost as if he were willing her to look past their last confrontation.

It worked.

Especially when he was holding their daughter over his shoulder, and patting gently. He was watching calmly, with the same look she had been associating with security and love over the last few months of their marriage.

She couldn’t remain cold or angry with him. No matter how much anger and betrayal she felt, she couldn’t ignore the sight she had always yearned for. To have a normal family with security and love.

She shook her head to snap out of the spell he was again putting her though. Her eyes might have taken precedence over her rational thinking, but she couldn’t completely ignore his betrayal. She looked at him in anguish and defeat.

“You betrayed me,” she said. “All the while, I thought I was using you, an innocent man, to achieve my goals. But you were actually using me, while also playing with my emotions.”

The expression on his face changed immediately. Carefully, he placed their daughter on the cradle next to the bed before turning back to her with blazing eyes.

“Using you?” He scoffed in disbelief.

“Yes, you made me trust you,” she said.

He scoffed again. This time bitterly. “You never trusted me. Not even for a single moment. And I only wish I could have used you!”

She was stunned at his bitter retort, and with the look of anger on his face. He moved towards her, until he loomed. Until she fell back on the pillows.

Then caging her between both his arms, he snarled out his next words. “You have no bloody idea; how it is to fall in love with someone you have hated most of your life. Someone you know was manipulating you with her lies. And yes, I did want to punish you, make you suffer, and maybe even hurt you. But I couldn’t. Because I was falling in love with you!”

She shook her head, trying to push out whatever lies he was trying to feed her again. “You are lying,” she whispered.

He continued watching her, not saying anything in return. The hurt look on his face made her want to trust him again. But before it could break through her defenses again, she fought back. “I don’t believe a word you are saying. How can you fall for me? How can anyone fall for me? I am not loveable by any stretch. I am—”

“Human,” he finished for her, his face softening at her words. “You’re human, Sia. We all are. We all have our weaknesses, and our own monsters that we fight in the dark. And you happened to be mine. You were my weakness. And also my demon. You lived inside me for so long that I couldn’t purge you. And it only got worse when I met you.”

He pushed himself away from her with a defeated look on his face. He went towards a window and stared outside. “When I met you, and saw how you lived your life in fear, I realized that my life’s ambition was driven by what I thought was a frightened little girl’s lie. I felt stupid, and wanted to leave you alone. But I wasn’t able to get rid of you from my thoughts. I tried. I even wanted to get married to someone else, thinking it would get rid of my obsession towards you.”

His look turned accusing. “But I couldn’t forget you. Even when I was almost engaged to Jo, you consumed my thoughts. And I just know it will always be that way for me.”

“No,” she whispered, trying to get him to stop speaking. Yet he continued.

He looked determined. “I love you Sia, for who you are,” he said. “I love your imperfections too. I love you—even though I know you’re capable of lying, and deceiving. I just love you wholeheartedly. Desperately and unapologetically.”

She kept shaking her head, refusing to let his words affect her. “Please stop. I can’t trust you or your motives, Ajay. You already know everything about me and my life. Once I officially inherit the Naidu Estate, and get my uncle arrested, we’ll be done with our marriage,” she said.

Ajay’s eyes flared possessively, and he covered the distance between them in long strides. Holding her arms, he pulled her close, until she met his eyes. “That will never happen. We will not be done. Because I’m never letting you go,” he stated. He looked ruthless and determined as he said those words.

“It’s not up to you to decide what—”

“Oh, it is,” he interrupted. “I may love you unconditionally. But I’m not that noble to let you or Anika go.”

Sia’s heart began to pound. Not because she found the threat frightening.

Her foolish heart was pounding because it was overjoyed that he wanted to stay with her. Be with her. Willingly, despite their history together.

With great difficulty, she shook those foolish thoughts away and stubbornly stuck to her guns. “You won’t have a choice when I decide, Ajay,” she stated even though her voice wavered at the end.

 

* * *

 

Ajay felt frustrated as he watched Sia fighting what they had between them.

He knew it wasn’t the best course of action to threaten his wife who had woken up from a coma after having his baby. But the thought of her leaving him was truly unimaginable.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, and opened them until he could calm down and think rationally. He sat next to her on the bed. “Sia, I know that having a relationship with a past like ours seems impossible,” he slowly said. “But don’t you think that we’ve both been through so much together that we’ve earned each other?”

She didn’t answer.

“Can you deny that?” he asked again.

Slowly, he laid a gentle hand over her shoulder. “What if I took away my past?  Would you accept me if I didn’t know you from before?” he asked.

She still didn’t reply and neither did she meet his gaze.

“Look at me, Sia,” he said.

She slowly met his eyes. He saw the same look he had seen during the happy days of their marriage. Yearning.

He had discovered that despite her seemingly coldblooded need for revenge, Sia also yearned for love. She had been with a lot of men during her past, but she had never given her heart to any of them. But ever since they met, he had always felt that her heart had been involved. Just like his. She had even told him once that she was in love with him.

His mind drifted to one of the happiest times, when she had confessed how she felt about him. It happened a week before she slipped into a coma.

 

They were both lying on the bed after setting up the nursery together with the items both he and Sia had collected over the months. He had begun to collect clothes, toys and books for a baby girl. While she did the same for a baby boy.

They had laughed together, and argued about silly things like whether an animal blanket or the cars one had to be used to cover the mattress on the cradle. Finally, when she looked tired after standing up for three straight hours, he had picked her up and carried her back to their room, where he had made slow and sweet love to her. Later, when they were both satisfied, they fell had fallen silent, lost in their own thoughts, until she had suddenly spoken.

“I think I’m in love,” she said, smiling towards the ceiling. With her heavily pregnant belly, she could only lie on her back.

But as always, he was turned towards her, watching her. There was a beautiful smile playing on her lips.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “I really hope it’s with me,” he teased.

She turned her head, and looked at him, her smile widening. “Yes. It is with you,” she replied shyly.

He laughed. “I’m so very glad. Because I love you too,” he said before he kissed her.

 

“You told me that you fell in love with me. Was that a lie?” he asked her softly.

Looking at her face, he knew she was recalling that day as well.

“I don’t know if what I feel for you now is love, Ajay. But I know that I still don’t trust you,” she said.

“I already know that,” he replied in defeat.

They looked at each other quietly; each of them trying to figure out whether love without trust can exist.

A phone rang next to them, breaking the trance.

Looking at the display screen for the caller id, he cut the call, stopping the ring. “Sia, let’s—”

“We can talk later,” she said, cutting him off. There was a look of panic on her face.”I need to call someone,” she said.

“Who?” he asked.

She didn’t reply. She got up and rushed to her phone.

“Are you calling Varun?” he asked as she began dialing numbers on her phone.

She looked stunned. “What do you know about Varun?” she demanded.

“Not a lot. Just that he has been helping you with getting information on the Naidu family.”

She stared at him while continuing to hold her phone, waiting for the person on the other side to answer. “He’s not picking up,” she said.

He didn’t move and watched her closely. “Did you just recall the details of how you fell down the stairs during the charity event?” he asked.

Her eyes flared, either in panic or in shock. “It was an accident,” she said, her voice calm.

Her words made him furious. “Don’t lie to me, Sia. I know you saw and spoke with your uncle before you fell down the stairs.”

She didn’t reply.

“You had revealed the truth about him that night. Why can’t you tell me the rest of it? I can help you—”

“No. I don’t need your help,” she stated.

He leaned closer, until her eyes were firmly fixed on his. “You might not need my help. But you are getting it,” he said with conviction in his voice.

But she continued to insist.”I said I can take care of myself.”

That made him explode. “The last time I checked, you were lying under a flight of stairs. Bleeding and fighting for your life!” He literally growled out the last part.

She stayed silent, frustrating him. He knew that he badly needed to drive home a point before it was too late. “Your uncle knows you are still alive. That means he knows he would lose everything if you want to claim it. He could be dangerous.”

That snapped her out of her silence. “He didn’t push me. I fell. It was an accident,” she softly said.

“I know that. But that’s not the point!” he declared in frustration.

She was surprised. “How did you know that?” she asked.

“I saw it on the hotel camera footage,” he said. “The whole damn thing. Him seeing you. You being upset and terrified. And then the struggle. I know you fell because you wanted to get away from him. If only that damn video could describe your feelings at that time, or even record the conversation clearly. Then he would have been arrested by now and rotting in some jail somewhere. He almost killed you and Anika!”

He felt his hands tremble as he recalled seeing that video footage. He had never felt so helpless and in pain before.

Sia looked at his visibly upset face. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” she said softly.

“It felt like hell, Sia! I almost lost both of you. You have to tell me the complete truth and involve me with whatever you are planning. You and our daughter could be in danger. And—”

“That’s one of the reasons why I don’t want to involve you, Ajay,” she gently interrupted. “Because I want you and our daughter to stay away from all this. It was stupid of me to not think through my plan completely. I was too blinded by my need for revenge.”

She looked at him beseechingly. “Maybe you should just stay someplace safe with our daughter while I deal with a few things.”

He took a deep calming breath to stop himself from yelling at her. “I don’t think I can let that happen, Sia. Our daughter and you are equally important to me. You either let me in your plans, or I will find a way to include myself in them. And you should know by now that I won’t back down.”

When she didn’t reply, he stressed his point further. “I already know most of your plans. The will. The camera footage. Everything. I’m going to always be two steps ahead of you. So don’t think of keeping me in the dark with your misguided attempt to protect me,” he said.

When she didn’t say anything, he asked. “Did you understand what I just said?” he asked.

“How did you find out about the will and camera footage?” she asked instead.

“I will explain to you when we get back home from the hospital tomorrow. But first answer me. Do you understand that you are to include me in all your plans, every step of the way?” he asked.

He needed her to say the words. He needed her to promise him that she would not take any risks without letting him know.

“Okay. I won’t do anything without letting you know,” she told him half-heartedly.

Even though he wasn’t completely satisfied with her answer, he didn’t say anything.

 

* * *

 

Sia racked her brain, trying to figure out how to keep Ajay away from everything. But she couldn’t think of a way. And he was right. She couldn’t not involve him.

She felt frustrated. Because for the first time she felt like she was losing control of everything. Until that point, she had played her game of revenge like chess, pushing the pieces around, and expecting the outcome she was completely prepared for.

The endgame had always been in sight. But after knowing the truth about Ajay, and also that head always known about her—everything began to change.

The endgame was growing fuzzier by the second. And all her carefully crafted plans were no longer completely relevant. All because he began to demand from her to change the rules.

Suddenly from being one of her pawns, he took over. He began to move the pieces around, putting several things at stake, forcing her to change her plans on the fly, without even playing the consequences in her head.

She had lost the ability to control him.

The only thing left—was to agree to bring him onboard as an ally.

She didn’t know if she had the energy or the will to fight him anymore.