Sia moved in with Varun for a couple of days. Until Ajay packed his stuff and moved back to his apartment.

A month later, Ajay signed the divorce papers.

Even though she had more or less blackmailed him into it, she felt the razor sharp agony of a bleeding heart, aching for him and their daughter. She missed them.

Sometimes, she was tempted to pick up the phone and beg him to take her back.

If only life had offered her that chance.

No. Life was a piece of shit. It gave her a taste of what happiness looked like, only to snatch it away from her, and remind her that she was all alone in the world.

Chills wracked her clammy body as she lay on the bed, holding Ajay’s and Anika’s picture in her hands. She was in the empty nursery room that Ajay and she had put together.

It was not supposed to end this way.

However, this was it. It was the end of her happy life that she could only experience for a brief while.

Her thoughts were scattered and confused while she ached for her husband and daughter.

She still craved his love, his touch and his kisses. She wanted to hold her daughter close and promise her that she would make the world a safe place for her.

But she couldn’t do any of those things.

She was amazed how much a heart could take. She felt broken, devastated, but her heart continued to beat in her chest.

“Sia,” a deep, quiet voice called out to her.

It was Varun. He was watching her with an impenetrable look.

“What is it Varun?” she asked, blinking her eyes rapidly to get rid of the unshed tears.

Bracing her hands on the bed, she pushed herself up to sit.

“I saw them today. Ajay is getting engaged to Jyotika.”

Her body froze, causing the photo she held in her hands to fall down. Lifting it quickly, she ignored the pain in her chest. Why did that news hurt her more than the lifetime of loneliness that waited for her?

This is what you wanted for him—to get married to Jyothika. A woman who would make him and Anika happy. A woman who could give them things that you couldn’t.

Slowly, she looked up at Varun and opened her mouth to say something. Not a word came out of it.

“Sia?”

She cleared her throat. “Good for them,” she got out finally. “Ajay already signed the divorce papers. It means that he won’t be held accountable to anything I do. I think we should proceed with our plans quickly,” she said.

Varun nodded. Slowly, he came closer to her and sat next to her.

He wasn’t touching her, but there was a certain intimacy in his proximity. Maybe because she had never seen him be that close to anyone before.

“Sia... I... I want to be with you,” he declared softly.

She sucked in deep breath in shock, and swayed slightly away from him to look at him better.

“Varun, what are you saying? You know we can’t afford to have any attachments. Not with the kind of plans we made.”

“I know. But just in case this turns out differently, and we are free, will you be with me?” he asked softly.

Sia looked at him quietly. There was no denying that Varun was a good looking man. Unlike Ajay’s stunning good looks, Varun had a raw masculine look. The scar on his face only added to the sex appeal. But... to her, he was Varun. He wasn’t Ajay.

Suddenly, she could feel Varun’s intent gaze land on her mouth. Slowly, he lifted his trembling hands towards her cheek. She should have jerked away, but she didn’t.

She waited to see whether he was able to willingly touch another human.

He was.

His thumb landed on her cheek, and it moved back on forth, rubbing it softly. His eyes were riveted on his hand.

“You are able to touch,” she said softly.

“Yes,” he murmured.

“Since when?” she asked him gently.

He was quiet. “Since the child trafficking incident. I-I was able to hold and carry a girl and a child that time.”

“I see.”

He moved his hand away from her cheek. “Sia, I know this is all of sudden. And I also know it’s stupid of me to be thinking of such things right now. But I am so sick of feeling so dead inside. And when I realized that I could touch and hold that girl, I felt that there was some hope for me to feel normal.”

“Varun, I’m happy that you are able to make progress. But I don’t think I’m the person you should be with.”

He shook his head. “No, Sia. I have thought about this a lot,” he said. “You are the only person who actually gets me. Yes, I know you are in love with someone else. But were you ever satisfied with simply love? Didn’t you want to spend your life with someone who also gets you too?”

Sia understood what Varun was talking about. Although she had no doubts about Ajay’s love for her during their marriage, there were times when she felt he couldn’t completely understand what she went through during her childhood, and the impact of it on her life.

Even though she loved Ajay and Anika more than her own life, she had sometimes wished that their happiness wasn’t dependant on her mental state. Years of abuse, and the following consequences and trauma couldn’t simply be wiped away by a loving husband and daughter. Or that she couldn’t just wake up being happy or feeling whole.

“Please Sia, say you’ll think about it,” said Varun.

“Varun, I can’t make any promises at this time. It won’t be fair to you too.”

Varun looked disappointed, but he nodded in understanding.