A few weeks passed by and they sort of fell into a routine. Sia had begun her exercising regime. She was keen to get back to her strong form. Ajay supported her wholeheartedly. And he either worked out with her or he watched Anika while Sia spent a couple of hours each day at the gym.
Every evening, they went on a two hour jog with Anika in a stroller.
Sia was still laughing at one of Ajay’s jokes while they entered the house. She was gettingAnika out from the stroller when Ajay received a call as soon as he turned it on.
“It’s Rita. I’ll take the call, you go ahead with dinner,” he said.
Nearly an hour, later, when Sia was settling their daughter down for sleep, he came into the room.
“We won, Sia,” he declared. “You are now the sole heir to the Naidu Estate.”
“When do we have to go?” she asked.
“In two days. There’s also going to be media coverage on that day. And your uncle is going to pretend in front of everyone that he is willingly giving away the estate and property to you.”
Listening to that news, instead of feeling victorious, Sia felt her legs shake, and sat on bed. She clutched the cradle for strength.
“Sia...” She heard Ajay’s voice calling her.
When she didn’t respond, he sat next to her and called her again. “Baby, are you alright?”
“I-I don’t know if I’m ready to face him again, so soon,” she whispered.
She felt Ajay’s arms enclose her in an embrace, offering her comfort. “You don’t have to see him again if you don’t want to. I’ll ensure that he isn’t anywhere around you.”
She shook her head. “No. It’ll be okay. It’s stupid of me to still be scared. Especially when I know he can’t hurt me anymore.”
Even though she said that, her body trembled. “I-I just can’t get past the memories of him hurting me when I was a child.” Tears began to flow out of her eyes as she cried silently. “Two years, that man abused me and robbed me of my childhood,” she sobbed as she spoke. “He made me feel helpless and alone. I guess there will always be a part of me that will be stuck in that timeframe, re-living that abuse over and over again.”
She felt numb as she spoke to Ajay. He remained quiet as he listened to her. She didn’t want to look at him while she spoke to him. Because she didn’t want to see the disgust and horror in his eyes. Gently, one of his hands held her chin, and raised her head until her eyes met his stormy ones.
“Two years?” he asked. His eyes were stormy. “Why didn’t you tell someone sooner? Why did you not stop him right away when you knew it was wrong?” His tone was harsh as were his words.
Sia was stunned at his questions and his anger. She got past the shock quickly, only to descend into a furious rage at his words. She began to struggle out of his arms.
“You don’t know shit!” she spat out. “You have no clue how it is to be abused as a child. You always had someone with you, and you were safe with them. So don’t bloody question and judge the actions of a child. You don’t know how it is to be manipulated, using love and security as tools. I may have not stopped him or told anyone for a long time, but one thing I do know for sure... I didn’t ask for those things to happen to me. What happened wasn’t my bloody fault!”
Jerking away from him, she stood up. Instantly, he grabbed her arm, and pulled her back to him. When she tried to pull away furiously, he tightened his grip.
“Let me go!” she hissed out. She couldn’t yell because Anika was sleeping a few feet away from them.
When she struggled again, and pulled away from him, he let her go without saying anything. Not waiting another second, she walked away from him, to calm down, and to make sense of whatever had transpired between them.
She didn’t expect him to understand how it felt to be abused as a child. But for him to think that as a little girl, she willingly didn’t stop her uncle from abusing her was too much.
She heard the door open and shut behind her. Rapid footsteps followed behind her.
“I’m sorry,” his voice called out as she continued to walk away towards one of the spare bedrooms. “Baby, please... stop.”
She stilled when she heard the agony in his voice. With hurried steps, he joined her and stood before her. He looked guilty and ashamed.
“I was just a child,” she told him with a broken voice.
“Don’t,” he said, looking devastated. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m sorry. I have absolutely no excuse for uttering those terrible words to you. All I can say is that I felt angry and helpless.”
She didn’t reply.
He wrapped his arms around her, until she could hear his heartbeat. “I feel angry and helpless because I want to wipe away that fear and pain from you,” he said.
“You can’t,” she whispered.
“I know. And it kills me,” he admitted.
She was quiet. He kissed her on her forehead. “I was being a selfish asshole, letting my feelings take precedence over yours. This isn’t about me. It’s about you.”
She raised her head to look at him. “It can’t always be about me,” she said softly.
“In this case, it is. You were the victim of a horrific crime. And you survived it. Just because you are a survivor, I have no right to expect you to completely forget your past trauma and feel happy and whole all the time.”
She was quiet.
“Forgive me, baby,” he pleaded.
She looked at him and realized something. Ajay wasn’t perfect.
She understood where he was coming from when he questioned her about not getting help sooner. It was his helplessness that made him lash out. However, regardless of those reasons, for the first time, she stopped seeing Ajay with rose tinted glasses. She realized that he was human too, with flaws. Just like her.
It somehow endeared him even more to her.
“I forgive you,” she whispered, and let him lead her back to their room and hold her while they slept.