Lissi loved these moments when Rydak stopped by to see her. It wasn’t the grand romance she wanted but she believed in small steps to get to the greater reward. Initially, he’d been awkward and hesitant when she invited him over. As friends, of course. The expression on his face when the visit ended and she made no effort to talk of love or kisses was almost comical.

Then as the days and weeks passed by, he began to relax. Well, relax for Rydak. If her papan stayed around, Rydak remained rigid and stilted in his conversation. If her maman came in, he practically hugged the wall near the door and glare if Shaya stepped within the boundaries of his personal space.

All of it amused Lissi and left her more curious as to why he worked so hard to not touch or be touched. She could ask him directly but it would be nice if Rydak volunteered.

As she pulled two cups from the cabinet, her mind settled on the leather gloves he never removed. Maybe he suffered severe scarring. She frowned, her thoughts drifting. Knowing a bit about his family history didn’t help solve the mystery. None of them had worn gloves to her recollection.

One thing Lissi knew for sure, Rydak was terrified about letting her too close. She remembered their shoulders brushing as they walked together on her parents’ farm and he’d jumped as if scolded. When she’d frowned, he’d continued as if nothing unusual had happened. The next time they’d gotten too close, their hips bumped as she leaned over the fencing around the property to point something out to him. He’d only flinched that time but it had been noticeable.

In fact, she paused, he tensed if it looked like she might get near him. Did he have to work at being near her? Her heart pounded as Lissi wondered if he truly disliked her. Was she wasting her time as he tried to look for a nice way to get her to leave him alone?

Except...she genuinely thought he cared for her. There were moments she’d sense him watching her if he thought she didn’t notice. Like now. His stare burned with all the potency of a laser blast.

Lissi plastered a bright smile on her face and turned toward him. Talking about work would take her mind off of worrying about Rydak’s feelings for her. The job had turned into something she really enjoyed and Matron Toule praised her work and reports. In terms of a supervisor, the woman ranked pretty high in Lissi’s esteem.

***

Being Lissi’s friend challenged Rydak in ways he hadn’t expected. And ways he had. Mostly, he took it as a lesson in restraint. Sometimes she chattered non-stop and didn’t require more than a grunt or assent from him. Other times she’d stare and demand he answer in some way.

It was a novel experience for Rydak because he didn’t spend much time alone around females. Casual conversation without fear of the woman wanting more from him provided a reward he’d never considered. Rydak found himself addicted to this form of companionship and for someone like him that was very dangerous. How easily this friendship seduced. And that’s what it was. Seduction at its finest. 

“You would not believe the things I have witnessed. On my last inspection alone, I wrote up five violations. Five, Rydak!” She turned to him in disbelief and waited for his support of her gripe.

Feet crossed at the ankle, Rydak stood calmly against the counter. He liked hearing about her job with the united tourism division. As much as she complained about some of the places and their lack of follow through on rules and regulations, she always came back excited and bubbling with enthusiasm. “You wouldn’t have a place of employ if everyone followed what they were supposed to do.”

Lissi huffed and waved a hand in the air between them. “What would you know? You’re a big bad Jutak like my brother. Of course, you’d say that.”

Rydak would have taken exception to the remark except she smiled while she said it. Heart light but masking his joy, Rydak gave a response sure to spark her temper. “My being a Jutak warrior aside, it sounds like you can’t handle the negative aspects of your job.”

His statement was meant to goad. He’d learned over the few weeks of their friendship that Lissi had quite a temper. Not the sweet and mild female he’d once thought her to be. This fiery other side of her appealed to him as much as her love for him.

Love. If he allowed himself to believe her, Lissi loved him. A smile formed on his mouth at the thought. Being loved without any expectation on his part took some getting used to. It lowered his ingrain sense of self-defense. Jahul was right when he’d said Rydak held himself back emotionally. He had to because he knew physical contact played a part in a relationship and he could never take joy in that.

But with Lissi he not only got to take part, he reveled in the sensations her love and care wrought.

As to her work, Rydak merely teased. He sensed Lissi’s diligence about the travels and inspections. While he often worried when she left Enotia with no one to watch or safeguard her, it gave him a sense of relief and satisfaction when she contacted him first on her return. Not even Torkel always knew when she got back.

“I can handle the good and the bad in my job, thank you very much.” Eyes flashing, Lissi whirled about her maman’s kitchen to finish brewing the pot of kaffe they tended to share during his visits.

It was a time Rydak treasured. He wasn’t sure how long it would last or when he’d have to let go but for now he watched Lissi flit around grabbing mugs and pouring the steaming water over the kaffe. The rich scent of spices spilled into the air immediately. Lissi leaned over the table and strands of blonde curls tumbling free of the clasp in her hair.

With her face in profile, he studied her slightly creased forehead as she concentrated on not spilling. Her small nose tipped up and her lips still twitched from her last comment. He loved her smiles. Almost as much as he loved her laugh.

A blast of terror hit and spread through Rydak’s chest, causing it to tighten in distress. Panic rushed in, his ears flooding with white noise. Breathing took on a gulping quality which thankfully Lissi missed.

It took severe discipline but Rydak managed to regain his calm. He needed to stop using the L word in reference to Lissi.

Unaware of the turmoil she’d created, she hummed and returned the heated container to the counter. She stirred for a beat then turned and offered him one of the mugs of dark liquid. Rydak accepted, gaze locked on her innocent face.

“What do you think of that?” she teased.

Lost in studying her doing the mundane task and his analysis of love, Rydak had lost track of the conversation. “What?”

Her lips quirked. “I can handle the bad in my job.”

“There does not seem to be a lot of bad.” For which he gave thanks. If he had to worry about Lissi every time she left, Rydak wasn’t sure how he’d handle it.

She reached for her own drink, then placed a palm on the counter behind her and pointed at him with the hand holding the cup. The pose pushed her breasts up firmly against the material of the white button down shirt she wore. He could almost make out the shape and outline of her nipples beneath.    

He wanted her. Wanted to throw his cup to the side and reach for her.

Not happening.

Trouble would follow if he acted on his impulse. Rydak kept his face impassive, heart racing as he worked to calm the spiraling fear which occurred more and more while around Lissi.

“You sound like Torkel.”

Not what he wanted to hear. Rydak strained to keep up with the conversation. “How am I like Torkel?”

“He says the same thing. I know it’s a good job but when I vent, I am not looking to complain. I’m sharing.”

“Sharing?” There was a healthy dose of doubt in his one word question. Rydak didn’t share but then as a member of the elite military force based on Enotia it wasn’t an option.

Lissi tsked and shook her head. Her pink tongue flickered, catching his gaze and holding it. His shaft responded with a resounding throb. The thought of the pink tip on his body flashed like a bright light.

“Friends share, Rydak. If you ever want to talk about work or something bothering you, I’m here.”

“Missions are confidential.” His instinctive answer came out fast. The nature of his job meant he never talked about the Unit outside of his teammates.

Lissi snorted and rolled her eyes, no sign of offense on her face. She stared at him with those pretty blue eyes and had no idea how much he wanted to touch the piece of dangling hair by her ear. She’d also never guess, how close he was to removing the distance between them, pressing his body against hers and bending her back over the brown-speckled counter.

“I know. But other stuff. Maybe a bad day and you need a distraction.”

There was only one way Rydak would want Lissi to distract him.

Sex sharing.

Dreams continued to plague him, becoming more vivid each night he rested. In some, Rydak pinned her to the bed, belly flat to the sheets as he pounded her from behind. In others, they lay face to face, his body rocking into her wet center as she wrapped her limbs about his waist, face nuzzled into his neck as she kissed her way up his throat and to his mouth.

There would be no pain. His dream focused on the one aspect he couldn’t figure out how to achieve. No pain and Lissi in his bed. 

“Rydak, did you hear my offer?”

He heard what she didn’t say. Lissi wanted more than a simple friendship and attempted to increase the connection between them as he knew she eventually would. When Rydak denied the request, it would remind her of where they stood and that this could only be a friendship in the strictest sense of the word. “Lis-”

His communicator beeped, interrupting him and for once he was relieved. “Jaard here.”

“Training changed. We need you back here, Rydak.” Jahul’s voice held a clipped note.

Lissi took the still full cup from his hand and poured out the kaffe. She added hers in the bin and began straightening the kitchen. Rydak frowned, concentrating on why he suddenly felt as if he’d done something wrong. He spoke into his communicator. “Any concerns?”

“None other than a conflict with meetings later which is why I moved the training ahead.”

“On my way.” Rydak ended the transmission and faced Lissi when she finished cleaning. “I need to leave.”

Her smile remained warm. “I know. I’m familiar with how this works.”

Rydak nodded wanting to say more but words escaped him. He turned to leave, the click of Lissi’s heels signaling her following him to the door. Rydak paused at the entry, one hand braced on the jamb. Cursing, he turned. “Lissi?”

“Yes, Rydak?” She tipped her head to the side. Nothing in her expression to reveal her thoughts. She remained as gentle as always.

“If I didn’t love being a Jutak and had a reason to complain, I would vent to you.” He gave in and tugged the stubborn blonde strand along her cheek, tucking it behind her ear then raced to the waiting hover-car he’d used and hurried back to the base.

Because he refused to look back at Lissi, Rydak missed the smile blossoming on her face. If he’d turned back and witnessed it, he might not have left.