Her sniffles as she fought not to cry gouged Rydak’s heart. Lissi Alonson. He gritted his teeth to hold back a vile curse while maintaining a façade of calm. Why did she hold such appeal for him?

Blonde hair, blue eyes and of average height, she appeared the typical Enotian. Except when their gazes met and held. Then Rydak’s heart spasmed and his desire surged.

Like now.

His shaft hardened but denial rose swift in response. She was his Unit Leader’s younger sister. He had to block any feelings outside of admiration and respect.

Not always easy with her obvious interest in him and her infectious smile. The filmy material of her blue skirt batted about his legs. Each sensuous swish teased and aroused. He wanted to drop to his knees, shove the skirt to her waist and feast on her pleasure. Fingers slick, he’d stroked her to release. Imagining Lissi’s reaction to such an action, he found his shaft hardened further.

Then the truth of how it would really happen stung him in the face, the reminder clawing like acid at his insides. The moment he touched her skin to skin, the pain would ruin any pleasure he got from the contact.

“You are being cruel.”

Rydak hid his wince. Cruel? She hadn’t seen cruel but if he turned back as he wanted to do and ripped into the five males who’d accosted her, Lissi would no longer look at him the same. He possessed abilities she couldn’t imagine, capable of dealing out death with his hands and trained as a deadly Jutak warrior. Not just any Jutak but a member of Team Three. That made Rydak a very dangerous opponent.

Lissi swiped at the tear tracks on her cheeks, knuckling her eyes like a child. The vulnerable action compared to her usually cheerful manner broke through the cold veneer he attempted to maintain. Rydak glanced around, noting they weren’t far from the shuttle. If he was going to pay a price later for the fight he’d engaged in on her behalf, then he’d have a reward now to make it worth it.

Rydak spun Lissi around, his arms sliding about her waist the moment her hands settled on his shoulders. Startled eyes met his as she gasped but didn’t resist. Another two steps had them in the shadows cast by the overhang of a nearby building. He turned at the last second placing his back against the cold stonework to keep an eye out and tugged Lissi between his parted thighs.

“Ryd—”

He shoved his mask up to his forehead and cut her words off as he pressed their mouths together. Like a hot summer morning, Lissi melted against him. Her hips settled against his as if made to be in his embrace. She tipped her head awkwardly to the side, teeth gnashing at his lips.

Rydak winced but didn’t pull away. Her inexperience couldn’t come across any clearer. Lissi untouched. At the thought, Rydak thrust against her mid-section. She moaned, her arms twining about his neck as she allowed more of her weight to fall into him. He shifted his grip, cupping the back of her head with one hand and adjusting the angle. Softly, he slowed her frantic motions and kissed her long and deep.

The taste of her had Rydak groaning. Lissi rocked into him, the eager motion tangling her skirt about their legs. So many months he’d fought to prevent this, knowing once he got his hands on her he wouldn’t want to stop.

Taking care not to frighten Lissi, Rydak ran his fingers down to the enticing curve of her ass. His palms clenched on the soft giving cheeks and Lissi arched into him, her lips parting wider on a startled cry. Rydak’s tongue stroked and teased as he worked to ease her gradually into the building passion, showing her with every lick and nip how to give it back.

Her fingers found their way to his bound hair at his nape and threaded through the knot he wore to keep the length out of the way during missions. Sensations trickled down his spine from the tender touch as loosened strands fell about his neck.

“Rydak,” she whispered against his mouth.

He opened his eyes and met her gaze. As always the look of trust and tenderness surprised him. Such blind trust. A wave of possessiveness crashed over him. He wanted this female. Craved her. Images of their naked bodies flashed through his mind. In his bed, sheets cast aside, her slender body on view. He’d take his time. Memorize every delicious inch of her.

Kiss after kiss, stroke after stroke, Rydak would luxuriate in the moment, drink in her every plea and cry. She’d be sensitive and responsive. Just as she was right now. Rydak rocked her into him, simulating what he wanted. Lissi whimpered and leaned into him further, crushing her breasts against his chest.

Soft and giving. It was all he could do not to ravage her immediately. Rydak ran his tongue over her inner cheek, her lip, coaxing her to mirror his actions. Lissi took it one step further and bit his bottom lip, tugging on the flesh. Fresh flames from the fire building internally lit his veins as he snapped and spun them around. He checked the motion seconds before her back hit the wall and placed his arm between her and the coarse surface.

Lissi ran her hands over his face, touching his exposed cheeks, his nose. Rydak didn’t stop her. Later tonight, he was going to pay for every stroke, every touch. Such bliss would always come with a price for him.

“You don’t know what you are starting,” he grated harshly.

She closed her eyes, straining toward him, the slim column of her throat stretched out. “Show me, Rydak. Show me what I am starting.”

He shouldn’t.

“Please.”

“Lis-si.” He dragged out the two syllables of her name and pulled back, dislodging her hands.

Her lids lifted, revealing glazed eyes. Passion dulled her bright blue stare. He cursed. Desire held her in a firm grip. Nothing he said would get through. Once, just once he wanted to give in to the forbidden. Rydak snarled and lifted the material of her skirt with one fierce yank, baring her to his view. She wore a simple pair of white underwear. He brushed his thumb along the front panel and stiffened. The sight of his black leather gloves against someone of her stature and innocence sent reality slamming back around him.

Then he thought of his Unit Leader. Her brother.

Rydak stumbled back, his hands falling to his sides as the skirt settled about her ankles hiding her beautiful slim legs. Lissi stared back at him, confusion darkening her eyes. He ran a hand over his face in frustration and slid his mask back into place. “We don’t have time for this.”

Hurt flashed over her delicate features but Rydak hardened his heart.

“We need to leave.” Despite his words, Rydak lifted a knuckle and brushed it against her flushed cheek. She jumped and jerked her face away. “Lissi?”

She glared, her lips wet and puffy from their kisses. “You’re playing games. I don’t understand you.”

This time, he placed a hand at her lower back to guide her away from the wall, not willing to trust himself holding her close. Sadness replaced the pleasure of moments before. She had no idea. “I know you don’t. But I have the feeling I will regret this.”

She flinched, her blue eyes losing some of their luster. Rydak stilled. No. That wasn’t how he meant it. His regret stemmed from the hurt he’d suffer holding himself back in the future now that he had the memory of her taste in his mouth. “Lissi.”

Spine rigid, she hurried forward, her actions dislodging the hand at her back. “You are right.”

Rydak fought the need to apologize or correct her assumption. He cautioned himself to think with the head on his shoulders. Her mistake served him better than the truth. He slowed Lissi’s pace, taking the lead once more as they left behind the dark streets.

Perhaps if her feelings stayed hurt, she’d avoid him from now on and he’d have a better chance of resisting the temptress. A quick glance to his side and Rydak’s heart stuttered.

Unlike him, she didn’t do a good job of masking her feelings. Pain radiated from every pore of her body. Shoulders back, she used her hands to cup her elbows as if to protect herself from a physical blow.

“Fuck!” Rydak drew her to a stop by gripping her arm gently, careful of what he suspected to be painful bruises from her attackers. “You have no idea what you do to me, Lissi Alonson.”

The truth would probably scare her. Lissi faced him and nibbled on her bottom lip. Irritation glowed from her eyes. “I just don’t understand you, Rydak Jaard.”

He held up his free hand covered in black leather. “This says that I can never give you what you want.”

His curse. His blessing. It depended on the day and right now, Rydak would give anything to feel Lissi’s skin beneath his bare palm. But that would never be. Even the thought had him cringing from anticipated pain.

“I don’t understand what wearing gloves has to do with anything.”  A small crease crinkled her blonde brows.

Rydak started forward again. Of course she wouldn’t. He’d never explained his limitations. “It doesn’t matter.”

They neared the extraction point. Lissi tensed the moment she noticed the shuttle and Khane standing guard outside the door, his black mask hiding his features.

“My brother really did call all of Team Three.” She sounded embarrassed now as they headed up.

“We were already on route to Enotia from a mission,” Rydak admitted.

Lissi paused on the ramp beside Khane. Losing the confrontational tone when she spoke to the other man, she said, “I am sorry to be a bother.”

His teammate tipped his head in acknowledgment and leaped up through the metal door. Lissi followed and Rydak brought up the rear. Once inside, the others all nodded at Lissi but didn’t speak. Khane removed his hooded mask the moment he took his seat, revealing disheveled blond hair and blue eyes as he grinned up at Lissi.

Rydak ripped his own mask off with more force than necessary. Lissi ducked her head and fastened her safety harness over her shoulders and chest in the jump seat. Bane folded his arms over his huge chest and smirked. Vee studied Lissi’s bowed head with more than simple interest. Rydak throttled back his jealousy.

Only Jahul reached out and rubbed her knee. “We will take you home.”

At that, Lissi lifted her head and Rydak felt something tear down the center of his chest. He saw the one thing he never expected. Defeat. Her smile lacked its usual brightness. “Thank you, Jahul.”

His Team Leader leaned back in his seat, pulling his hand away much to Rydak’s relief. When they arrived at Lissi’s home, she glanced in Rydak’s direction and he had to work to keep his expression neutral. At his lack of response, she sighed and stood with a frown twisting her lips. He curled his fingers and pressed them firmly to the top of his thighs so he wouldn’t give in to the urge to touch her. Reassure her.

But he couldn’t. And not because he was determined to battle the desire rearing its head between them. No, at this point, he needed all of his energy to simply remain upright. The price he paid for removing his gloves earlier and for enjoying a brief moment with Lissi was getting closer but he wouldn’t share that. His empathetic curse was his to bear alone.

As she neared his seat to exit, their gazes met once more. Rydak reached for the edge of his cushion and gripped it tightly to keep from giving in to the driving need to touch her.

Hurt flashed. Again. Rydak locked his jaw as she walked past, ignoring the curious stare from V’hor.

“Not going to walk me to the door, Rydak?” she called back. Her voice contained a bit of its former bravado.

He couldn’t. Pressing his lips together even harder, Rydak shook his head firmly in the negative. Nausea flared from the small movement, tiny points of discomfort pinging his temple.

A soft mewl left her lips, acting as razor sharp slashes to his gut. Her pain became his torment but Rydak knew he was doing the right thing. For both of them.

“Lissi, I will accompany you.” Jahul jumped to his feet, touched her elbow, then steered her out of the hover-car.

“No need, Jahul.” Her gaze snapped fire at Rydak.

His Team Leader grinned. “I insist.”

Rydak waited on edge as she stepped past him to leave the transport. She refused to meet his gaze as she exited but at least she allowed Jahul to walk her to the door.

Minutes later, Jahul hopped back in the front of the hover-car, eyes briefly lighting on Rydak. “Torkel commed and gave his thanks. He will return with the others later. Whatever happened, Lissi seems to be fine.”

Rydak faced the window, watching blindly as the streets blurred. He knew Jahul expected him to expand on the details now that Lissi was gone. The others tuned in, listening for what he’d say. His lips firmed. There was nothing to say. Nothing he wanted to share with them.

Of course that didn’t matter to his Team Lead. He should have known Jahul wouldn’t let him get away with silence. “You know what your problem is, Rydak?”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. Jahul would tell him whether he responded or not. Jahul waited until Rydak turned from the window before sharing. “You are self destructive.”

“What?” The non-sequitor was far from what he expected to hear.

Jahul nodded, a grim cast to his features. “Everyone on this team has some trait Torkel recognized. A commonality which led him to put us together knowing we’d work well with one another. Your problem is your absolute effort in staying alone and keeping anyone from getting close to you.”

Fury rose at Jahul’s words. He didn’t know what he was talking about. “Not true. As we’ve all seen, getting close has a negative impact for me.”

The others shifted about, pretending not to listen. Jahul rolled his eyes and pushed back in his seat, legs spread before him. “Touch yes, but you work hard on being emotionally distant too.”

Rydak flinched as the words hit too close. The Jutak warriors were his family. All he really had to count on. Refusing to continue the conversation, he turned away and thankfully Jahul let the subject rest.

As soon as the team reached their military base, Rydak hurried to his room. No one stopped him.

Unchecked power combined with over sensitized nerves rose beneath the surface of his skin. Inside his locked one room home, Rydak let go of the control he’d held onto with sheer determination alone. He braced his booted feet and counted off the seconds, waiting for the explosion to strike.

Right on time, agony detonated in his head and drove him to his knees. He screamed as he drowned in the sensory input from Lissi’s attackers. Anger, jealousy, sadness, desire. Emotions battered at him from all sides. Rydak pressed his hands to his head and gritted his teeth, letting the price he paid for all of the physical contact this night roll over him.

‘Get her. Take her. Need another drink. Want to go away. Too much music.’

Random thoughts poured in a steady conduit into his conscious. Not sure how long the streams of ravaging pain lasted, he collapsed onto his back, arms falling to his sides.

It was the same. The ripping sensation tearing through his mind and body was as familiar as his reflection in a mirror. Rydak lost track of time, unaware of his surroundings until the black and red spots ceased dancing in front of his eyes.

Awareness crept back one piece at a time, the coolness of the floor pressed against his cheek. A hoarse groan escaped his lips as he cracked his eyes open and contemplated the distance to his bed.

“I knew this would happen.” Footsteps followed Jahul’s statement as he drew closer to Rydak. Hands clasped him under the arms and helped him to his feet. Rydak wobbled and the grip tightened around him. “I have you.”

The soft mattress cushioned Rydak’s face seconds later. Jahul patted him on the shoulder. “In the morning we can talk about what caused this and why you let it get to this point.”

Rydak let his lids drift close and succumbed to the deep slumber that always occurred when he exposed his empathic gift too long.

He dreamed of disappointed blue eyes.