Lissi stared at the object of her infatuation. Torkel had invited his entire Unit to their parent’s farm for a rest day and a chance to get away from the base. Numerous eclectic food dishes and enough to feed more than one Jutak Unit covered the surface of the kitchen table and every counter. Her maman, always excited about having her son home, went above and beyond the small numbers they were expecting.

Her papan couldn’t stop grinning at being surrounded by the military men and recounting his own stories. All in all, it was a perfect day for everyone.

Except her.

It wasn’t that Rydak went out of his way to ignore her. He maintained his polite demeanor after greeting her, then proceeded to treat her the way the rest of her brother’s men did—as if she was a little sister.

She wasn’t Rydak’s sister and had no desire to be treated as such. Fuming, Lissi glared in his direction as he stood in conversation with Jaron and Jahul. The three men presented a veritable feast of Enotian males. Blond and blue eyed. Well, Rydak’s eyes were gray but from a distance one could imagine him as a typical Enotian. But he wasn’t, he was so much more. His beauty acted as a beacon to anyone who glanced in his direction.

He was a golden warrior. Gold skin matched by blond hair on the deep golden side that made her want to touch. Loose waves fell over his forehead, barely blocking gray eyes so deep she’d never reach the bottom.

Rydak Jaard.

The one she craved.

The man who owned her heart.

Her future Chosen, though he didn’t know it yet.

Lissi knew others viewed her as flighty or sometimes mistook her quiet manner for lacking in confidence. But her brother knew her best. It was why Torkel called her a menace. Determination had nothing on Lissi. When she wanted something, she dug her heels in.

And Lissi wanted Rydak. With him she’d have everything she longed for. A life overflowing with the love Rydak needed to give and his warm arms sheltering her.

“Lissi, come over here.” Her papan’s overloud voice had heads turning toward her.

With no way to avoid it, Lissi went to stand at her papan’s side. Marlin wrapped an arm about her waist and pulled her in tight, his lips pressing a kiss on top of her head. Team One led by Jaron clustered around her papan. Geile and Gregir smiled in her direction, the brothers open and friendly as always. Arak nodded from the other side of her papan. His dark looks stood out among most of the blonds here. She knew he was half-Argoran shifter and favored his maman in appearance.

Everyone present belonged to the elite Unit of Jutaks led by her brother. They might seem relaxed but there was an edge in the way they held themselves, the sense of readiness for anything vibrating from their pores. The men in Team Two led by Faruk huddled together in conversation. They were the most settled of this group with the exception of the scarred green eyed one. Always courteous, she liked Kyele but he didn’t spend more time than necessary around her, making excuses to do something if he noticed they were alone together.

Lissi peeked from the corner of her eye to the oddly quiet Team Three. Without Jahul or Rydak standing with them, their group wasn’t interacting as much as the others.

“Right, Lissi?”

She jerked to attention, her papan’s voice pulling her back. “What?”

Arak winked and the flirtatious gesture caused a reckless grin to split her face. “Your papan says you encouraged Torkel to be a Jutak.”

It was all her brother had ever spoke of growing up. “Torkel was meant to protect and fight for others.”

Visiting their papan at work convinced Torkel at an early age of the direction he wanted for his life. Unlike Lissi who debated whether she wished to follow her maman’s tracks in the administration office for the Enotian government. It was how her parents had met.

“He’s the best leader of any of the Units,” Geile spoke up. “The Commander is pleased with our performance so far.”

Going against standard procedure, Torkel demanded the right to select those who would comprise his Unit. He had hand picked each person on his elite team, bypassing Jutak warriors with more tenure and stronger reputations. Some of his choices, like Kyele on Team Two, were considered risky but she was certain her brother didn’t care. Same with the dangerous nature of those he selected to comprise Team Three. Now her brother’s determination and diligence paid off. His Unit, especially the members of Team Three, was often called upon for situations requiring success in dire circumstances.

“Torkel’s the best,” Jaron announced, joining their circle and slinging one arm around Geile and the other around Gregir.

The good natured Jutak pursed his lips in a kiss at Lissi, his typical greeting whenever their paths crossed. She stifled her chuckle, not wanting to encourage him. Her heart was taken.

“Everyone, it’s time.” Torkel raised his hands. “Batim for those who are up for it.”

Her papan released her to cheer. Batim was a rough sport that involved heavy physical contact while opposing players each attempted to reach the other teams home base. The farm provided plenty of space and land for such a match.

“Marlin, you’re too old for foolish games.” Her maman came out to address her Chosen with a stern glance.

Marlin’s lips turned down and Lissi worried he might actually cry. “But it’s Batim.”

The Jutaks grinned but ducked their heads and separated into two teams. Rydak, Kyele, Markus and Bane formed one group while Geile, Faruk and Jaron formed another.

“We’re short one.” Torkel tied red ribbon on the wrists of those in the first group to designate their team color and moved to tie blue strips to the others in the second group. “Who else volunteers?”

Marlin shot a pleading look at his Chosen. Lissi bounced on her toes, prepared to step in. Torkel taught her to play when she was little and she admitted to being pretty good.

“No!” Her brother shouted at her before she could speak up.

Her shoulders dropped. Of course, he wouldn’t want her to play with his Unit. The males probably thought she’d scrape a knee. She glanced down at the skirt and top she’d worn. Her clothing choice wasn’t conducive to playing either, since she’d dressed with the hopes of drawing Rydak’s eye.

Torkel’s gaze scanned the remaining men. The other Jutaks present kept their silence and didn’t volunteer. Khane went so far as to lean back in his chair and prop his feet on a nearby chair, showing clearly his refusal to participate. Lissi found herself losing her disappointment and grinning. Maybe she didn’t want to play if Khane sat out. She had the feeling this was probably going to be a nasty battle.

“Shaaa-ya!” Her papan resorted to whining.

“Fine, Marlin.” Her maman shook her blonde head, sending an admonishing glance to everyone. “Try not to hurt him.”

Her papan’s smile couldn’t get wider. Torkel wrapped a blue ribbon on his wrist and clamped a hand to his shoulder. “Do not get me in trouble with Maman.”

The devilish grin on her papan’s face made no promises. While he wore a fancy loose shirt in white with gold threads at the high collar and brown pants, his body still maintained a fit physique. Lissi crossed her fingers he didn’t get hurt and sent him an encouraging smile, though she winced inside.

The others who didn’t volunteer quickly set up seating to view everything from an advantageous position on the sideline of the make-shift field. Torkel stepped back and quickly outlined the limits of the field, each teams’ win zone and then held up an oblong shaped black ball. The red team with Rydak crouched to one knee, heels digging into the dirt. Men on the blue team stood further back vying for position, since they would receive first.

“Ball in play,” Torkel yelled and tossed the ball in the air toward the blue team.

Lissi held her breath as the men burst into action. Grunts, growls and a random groan rang out. Bodies collided and Lissi winced a time or two as the men snuck in punches when possible.

Batim was not a mild sport. Nor was it one for the weak.

Because he led the Unit, Torkel acted as the line judge and ran along the side of her parents’ large yard, yelling. Bane leaped ahead, the ball clutched in his massive palms. He almost reached the score zone when Faruk took a risk and dove for his legs. The two collapsed to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Kyele and Markus joined in to help their downed teammate. Her papan’s shout as he scooped up the ball drowned out Bane’s roar of frustration.

“Score to blue,” Torkel called as Marlin walked into the zone untouched.

Shaya screamed and jumped up and down, drawing reluctant smiles from the red team at her enthusiasm. Arak groaned beside Lissi and Gregir mocked him, resulting in an angry snarl from the half-Argoran shifter.

Marlin tossed the ball to her brother and the men lined up once more, this time those on the blue side took a knee and the red team spread out to receive.

“Ball in play!” Torkel tossed the ball once more.

If anything, the aggression increased in the next round. On and on the match went with the red edging out ahead and playing harder and harder each time the blue looked to get closer. It didn’t go unnoticed when members of Team Three used their innate skills to their advantage.

Thick, white webbing shot from Bane’s fingers as he stole the ball from Faruk. A round of cursing followed as the males knocked one another to the ground and pummeled each other. Laughing, Jaron rose to his feet from the bottom of the pile. Rydak stood clear of the fierce wrestling match, an impassive expression on his face but one had only to look at his eyes to see the truth. The dark gray orbs sparkled with vibrancy.

Finally, Torkel signaled for everyone to resume their positions. After some jostling the rest complied. Toward the end, the red and blue tied points. Torn shirts hung from heaving chest, sweat glistening on the stern faces. Lissi took time to enjoy the physiques on display. Blood marred the arms and necks of quite a few but none of them sought medical treatment or assistance. Except her papan. He was as clean and neat as he’d been at the start of the game. Both teams must have taken her maman’s words to heart because he bore not a single injury.

Now the sixth round would determine the winner. Grumbles came from those not playing and if she wasn’t mistaken, bets were exchanged. Once more Arak stood at the center of the wager and dares as he yelled toward his teammates and friends.

“Last play.” Her brother held up his hand then flung the ball out.

Rydak caught the ball and raced ahead. Lissi sat up straight, breath suspended at his lithe form racing by. Bane and Kyele guarded his back, keeping the opposing players out of reach as Markus provided interference by jumping on Jaron and tripping Geile.

“Foul!” Her papan shouted but Torkel continued running along the outside of the field with Rydak to see if he scored.

Her papan dodged the others, his goal to clearly stop Rydak from making the winning play.  With her heart pounding, Lissi kept pace with her maman on the sidelines. They were far enough away to avoid the action but within sight of the game.

Rydak checked over his shoulder and his lips curled to see only her papan behind him. Everyone else fell off or was engaged in a wrestling match. Lissi’s heart tumbled over in her chest at the partial smile and clear pleasure on Rydak’s face. It was a rare opportunity to see any of the Jutaks this relaxed, especially Rydak, who seemed to prefer his physical distance from the team whenever possible.

Distracted by watching the man she wanted, Lissi almost missed the largest member from the red team flying up the field of play. Shaya gasped beside her. Bane sailed through the air and slammed into Marlin, leaving Rydak free of any obstacles. Her papan hit the ground hard.

“Marlin!” Her maman leaned forward, eyes wide and fingertips to her mouth.

Rydak crossed the score zone at an easy lope and Torkel signaled the point, causing a cheer to break out among the red. Congratulations rang out as the group circled one another and exchanged ribald comments.

Torkel noted their downed papan and jogged back, his face pale beneath the tanned skin. Lissi watched and waited for the crumpled figure to move. She twisted her fingers together, exchanging worried glances with her maman.

At last, her papan struggled to his feet—shirt torn down the front and clumps of grass in his blond hair. He waved off Torkel as he trotted in their direction. Blue eyes sparked as he snagged her maman about the waist and spun them around with a celebratory shout. Shaya placed her hands on his shoulders and giggled as if she were in the bloom of her youth.

“You do realize you lost,” her maman gently teased.

All of the Jutaks from the sidelines stood up to join those who’d played and began talking at once. Sighing more in relief than anything, Lissi turned away and entered the house to refresh her drink from the refrigerated jug. She took time to calm down after the excitement of watching the intense game. If she pushed back her disappointment for how the day had turned out, no matter.

With a huff of regret, Lissi left the icy container on the counter for anyone else who might want to take part. On her way back outside, she collided with a hard chest in the doorway. Hands caught her at the elbows. Gloved hands.

“Be careful,” Rydak murmured, not letting go until she regained her balance.

Lissi backed up into the kitchen and stared at the hard jut of his jaw, the narrow blade of his nose. The stormy swirl of his gray eyes gazed down at her. “Greetings, Rydak. Sorry I wasn’t looking.”

He huffed out of breath. “You’ve been looking.”

There was no missing his meaning and Lissi flushed, glancing away. She didn’t have the energy to play this out. “Yes, well...excuse me.”

She attempted to pull away but his hold tightened. Her gaze flew back to his. Leather slid from her elbow to her upper arms in a gliding, caressing motion. The thump of her heart increased to keep pace with his touch.

“I can’t figure you out.”

Her breath caught in her throat at the husky murmur. “What is there to figure out?”

She was simply an ordinary woman half in love with a man who didn’t notice her. Or refused to acknowledge he noticed her.

“So much.” One hand cradled her face and nudged it up. “Like why you would want a male like me? Why would you pursue someone so wrong for you?”

His tone seemed genuinely confused.

“You’re not wrong for me, Rydak.” The protest came automatic.

He smiled, gray eyes crinkling in the corners as his thumb rubbed her chin. “You are a sweet one. Your belief shines like a beacon from your eyes. Though the words are clearly not true.”

“I...I like you a lot, Rydak.” No need to confess the depth of her like.

“You’ve made no secret of this.”

Lissi’s face heated but then her lips firmed. She didn’t want to keep her love for him buried. She wanted to be his. She wanted to choose him in presentation and spend their life together.

“Do you like me? A little?” The question came out in halting spurts. She needed some sign from him she wasn’t wasting her efforts.

Instead of answering right away, Rydak dropped his hand from her face, then leaned his head against her shoulder blade, and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Shivers slid up her spine. Unsure how to react to this unexpected gesture, Lissi remained still, allowing him the brief display of vulnerability. She pressed into him, her hands at his waist to keep him close as she rested her cheek against his chest. When she inhaled, his sweaty scent encased her.

A simple touch. A hug. And yet Lissi could have stood in this position forever.

After a moment, Rydak’s weight shifted and his arm slid to release her. Lissi cupped her hands over his before he could completely pull away. Leather rasped against her palms and the cool flex of his fingers caused her thighs to quiver with need.

“I like you,” he said and hope soared. He exhaled, a long drawn out puff of air, before continuing. “More than I should. Despite my wishes, there is an attraction between us, Lissi.”

Her heart took on a frantic pace and she couldn’t break her gaze away from his. Rydak tugged his hands free but didn’t move back. “But it can be nothing more. I hope you understand how much I regret it when I say that.”

Outside something crashed but neither turned. Lissi likened it to the feeling in her chest as she absorbed his painful words. The ache spread in a slow-moving tide from her center throughout her body until she went numb all over.

***

Lissi’s smile wavered and Rydak could have kicked himself. Fury set in for addressing the situation between them in such blunt terms. She wasn’t a soldier used to harsh truths. All day he resisted the burn of her continuous stare and the heat of passion every time their eyes met.

Hiding her emotions wasn’t something Lissi did well. Or maybe she didn’t worry that others could discern her feelings so easily.

How simple it would be for him. With one touch of his bare hands, Rydak could know every secret she thought safe.

Her throat moved as she attempted to speak then finally glanced away, giving up. But not before Rydak caught the glimmer of tears and cursed himself a thousand times over. If only he dared share the deeper reasons he avoided what she wanted.

“Lissi.” When she faced him with her downcast expression, Rydak decided one more kiss. Even a lesser male would have crumbled in the face of her pleading glances.

When he kissed her this time, he’d maintain control and not become lost in her taste as he had the night he’d taken her from Reikers. Then he would finally force himself to walk away from Lissi Alonson for good.

“It is fine, Rydak. I understand.”

“Do you?” He tipped her chin up. Blue eyes met his evenly with a strength Rydak admired. They held him captive in their swirling depths. “Explain it to me then.”

“Y-you’re being kind. I have been obvious in my interest and you want to avoid hurting my feelings by telling the truth.”

Stunned, Rydak took several seconds to find his voice. “What is the truth, Lissi?”

She blinked as she reached up to touch his hair. Rydak jerked back at the last moment before she made physical contact and her hand fell away. Pain splintered in her gaze but she offered a brave smile, the edges quivering. He’d never felt more like shit.

“The truth...the truth is you do not have any interest in me in return. No attraction. The lie was appreciated but I promise I won’t tell Torkel so you don’t have to worry about your job.”

Heaving another sigh, this one filled with remorse, Rydak shook his head. She couldn’t be further from the mark. “You are wrong, sweet Lis.”

“What—”

His kiss cut off her next question. Rydak shifted his hold to her waist and cradled her warm body closer. Lissi moaned, hips arching into his. Her hands gripped his shoulders and Rydak had to work to keep from tensing. If she touched him, he’d handle it. Nothing was stopping him from taking another taste to cherish on the lonely nights. All he’d have to look forward to was the memory of this too brief moment in time.

Desire for the woman he held spurred Rydak on as he licked the seam of her lips, nipping the bottom when they parted. In return, Lissi’s tongue teased with light flicks and Rydak teased back with strokes and quick touches that had her fingers clenching in the fabric of his shirt.

Rydak ran a hand up her back, molding her body to his until nothing separated them. Payment would come due soon. There was a price for everything he did. Pulling away from her tempting mouth, Rydak kissed his way along her jaw. Tonight, when he lay curled in a ball, pain screaming along his nerves, he’d remember every touch and every kiss.

“Worth it,” he muttered as he nibbled the fleshy lobe of her ear.

“I have wanted you for so long, Rydak.”

Her honesty undid him.

“I know,” he choked yet held back from declaring the same. The words remained locked in his throat where they belonged. Telling her served no purpose.

Voices approached from outside and they broke apart gasping. Torkel and another. The thought of his Unit Leader doused Rydak’s desire just as quickly. Lissi’s mouth was swollen and bright red, her eyes glazed over in a way no one could mistake. Proof of her arousal left him aching.

Panting, Lissi crossed her arms over her chest and canted her head to the side. “Rydak?”

Rydak shoved both hands through his hair, frustration eating through his patience. Desire still hovered too close to the surface. In addition, his empathy gift would have him crashing soon from their touching. He needed to leave. Now. “This can’t happen again, Lis.”

“Right.” She nodded and the pleasure in her eyes faded to a somber glimmer he hated. “Because you don’t want me.”

“No!” He snapped, then wanted to curse as she flinched. Didn’t Lissi understand? Hadn’t the kiss showed her? Rydak lowered his voice. “Fuck! Because I can’t have you.”

Puzzlement creased her brow and the questions danced in her eyes. She parted her lips to speak but Rydak was seconds from losing what little restraint he maintained. He had to leave. Get back to base before his body betrayed him for stealing a pleasure not meant for someone like him. “I have to go, Lissi.”

She stretched a hand toward him. “We can be friends, Rydak. If that’s all you have to give, I’ll be your friend.”

Head lowered, Rydak bit back a laugh. She sounded beyond sincere. He wanted way more than friendship. He wanted what he couldn’t have. And he wanted what everyone took for damned granted.

Rydak stroked her cheek one last time, black gloves to flushed skin. Warm and blood woman. He hated that she thought she needed to plead for something he would have died to give her. “You will make a beautiful Chosen one day.”

And because the truth of her being with another hurt more than he could believe possible, Rydak turned and walked away from the only thing he wanted more than the chance to touch another without pain.