One mission after the next, the teams were sent out. Sometimes two teams at a time, sometimes all three on a separate assignment. Tempers heated and patience wore thin.

Done with it, Torkel contacted the commander to demand a break for his Unit. “We can’t take on everything for Enotia and others. Send out the other Jutak teams. Mine cannot hold this pace. Accidents happen and lives are lost without time to regroup.”

The commander led with high expectations but he wouldn’t deny Torkel and his top performing group of soldiers. As soon as they all returned to Enotia, Torkel announced the schedule change in a meeting.

“We are off for a full rotation. Rest. Be with your families.”

Rydak’s mind instantly went to Lissi. He missed her. They’d had no time to speak lately, his focus needed on his missions. Now the only person he wished to be with was his Unit Leader’s sister.

As Rydak prepared to leave, Torkel stopped him. “My maman and papan are away. Lissi is alone. I must meet with the commander and the Jutak governing council but want to make sure all is well with her. Will you go by and check to see that everything is fine?”

Rydak’s heart revved. For Torkel to trust him in this endeavor meant a lot. “Yes.”

His Unit Leader touched his shoulder, stalling his departure and Rydak resisted the urge to pull away. “Have a care with her, Rydak.”

“I won’t hurt Lissi.”

Torkel frowned. “I know, Rydak. That’s not what I meant. We both know my sister cares for you. I just haven’t figured out what you feel for her.”

“It wouldn’t work.” Rydak didn’t address the implied question at the end of Torkel’s statement. “Lissi deserves someone...not like me.”

Torkel heaved a sigh. “You are missing my point. You can make anything work. It’s about how much you want it and are willing to fight for it.”

Instead of answering, Rydak took his leave and waved off the others as he jumped into an available hover-car.

Torkel was wrong. A person could want something desperately but all the hoping and wishing in the world wouldn’t make it come true or change the facts. Rydak’s case was a perfect example of that.

As he drove, Rydak reviewed over and over how he wanted the meeting with Lissi to go. His head told him to end things before one of them suffered but his heart...his heart wanted to cling and hold on to one as precious as Lissi. He thought about the visit to his nonja, how much he’d wanted Lissi there and how pleased his nonja had looked when he’d left.

Despite her lack of eye sight, she’d known in her inexplicable way Lissi was important to him as evident when she squeezed his hand as he left. Perhaps her visions had told her more but his nonja didn’t believe in sharing too much about one’s future because there were always variations to sway the outcome. She believed strongly in making life what you wanted.

Which brought Rydak to his current dilemma. Would the fates be kind enough to give him his greatest desire? Annoyed and confused, Rydak brought the hover-car to a smooth stop in front of the home Lissi shared with her parents.

His steps slowed as he made his way up the walk. He reached the door and dragged in a deep breath. Fighting this much internally over any decision was new to him. He knew what he wanted and didn’t hesitate over his choices. Yet, the thought of doing the right thing now left him shaking in fear.

Lissi opened the door before he could use the identifier to signal his presence. “Rydak.”

Pleasure lit her features and she eased back to welcome him in, no questions asked at his unplanned arrival. Rydak debated cautioning her against opening the door with little thought to security but the words froze in his throat at the sight of her. The loose dress in some light shade of orange slid off one shoulder, revealing the vulnerable curve of her collarbone. The hem swirled about her knees leaving her legs on display.

Rydak followed as if led by an invisible leash. The interior of the Alonson home managed to convey a sense of warmth and family. The door opened into the kitchen which boasted a large family style table in a synthetic material with six matching chairs. Shelves and cabinetry combined in a staggered but fitting pattern to highlight the handcrafted artifacts on display.

A part of Rydak unconsciously relaxed. This was a home like his nonja’s and you felt it deep in your bones. It was no stretch to understand how Torkel and Lissi came about to be as generous of heart. They lived and breathed it from this very place and from parents who adored them.

Cool air flowed in from the double paned doors leading toward the back area and the fenced pens where Shaya and Marlin took in and raised stray animals.

Rydak pushed the front door closed behind him and tried to gear himself for what needed to be done. Already striding toward a wide archway ahead of him, Lissi lifted her hand and waved. “Come on. I’m only reading in the other room and its cozy there.”

More than cozy, Rydak saw. Lissi plopped down on a wide U-shaped seating area and pulled the fluffy blue blanket over her lap. She folded her legs to the side of her in a seamless move and slid a plate littered with crumbs to the floor. On the narrow low table in front of her, a cup sat, the thin curl of steam hinting at its contents.

He’d interrupted her.

“Please sit.” She patted a plump cushion.

His lungs compressed with air and Rydak wisely chose a lone chair near the table. He wished he had the right to sit next to Lissi and pull her onto his lap and just hold her. “I have to speak with you.” 

Abruptly and with a rough edge, the words leaped from his mouth. Lissi’s brows dipped and a flash of concern appeared in her blue eyes as she leaned forward. The top of her dress gaped and increased his view of the upper swell of her breasts.

“Is everything alright?”

Rydak swallowed. Doing this filled him with dread. It was akin to tearing his heart from his chest and crushing it in his own hand. She appeared earnest, worried and it would be worst when he finished what he came to do.

“I have enjoyed our friendship.”

Another grin popped on her face. Open and guileless. No idea what he was about to set in motion. Rydak physically ached with the need to not proceed.

“I have too.”

Think of Lissi. He had to think of Lissi. What could he offer her? A relationship with a man she couldn’t touch? It was unfair to ask her for such a tremendous sacrifice. Only a selfish person would do that.

“Rydak?”

The beat of Rydak’s heart battered against his chest, while his lungs grew so tight spots danced before his eyes. With a gut-wrenching snarl, he lunged to his feet and did what he needed. “I can no longer continue to see or visit you. My apologies for how this may affect you.”

There. As soon as the last word left his lips, Rydak turned to leave. He’d known this would be hard. Getting out was a priority. Mouth dry, he took the first step away from Lissi but her low cry stopped him. His fists clenched at his side. He ordered himself to keep moving. To leave. But he couldn’t.

Rydak glanced over his shoulder and his heart dropped. Lissi sat in stunned silence, arms hugging herself tight. No further cries or noise came from her but Rydak knew he was done.

***

‘I can no longer continue to see you. I can no longer continue to see you.’

Rydak’s voice sounded from a distance. Jagged strikes tore into Lissi. What had she done wrong? She’d been the definition of a good friend to Rydak, hoping he’d see the possibilities for them.

On the heels of the thought, anger took root. Lissi sat up straight and swiped at her wet cheeks. Enough of this. She was tired of being the one to give and wait.

Lissi jumped up, catching Rydak’s surprised gaze. Surprise shifted to wariness. With righteous indignation fueling her, she stormed across the room. It didn’t slip her notice when his shoulders braced for an attack and he took an actual step back.

Too late for that. At another time seeing the strong Jutak fearful of her approach would have been humorous. Nothing was funny about this. Lissi didn’t stop until she stood in front of him.

“You selfish ebo.” Lissi pushed at his chest to emphasize her point, not that it moved him. “It’s not over, Rydak. Its finally beginning. You’re going to tell me once and for all why you won’t let us try. No more pretending, no more running.”

Another shove. This one didn’t move him any more than the other had. Emotions clamored at the forefront. Lissi expected him to try reasoning with her. She began compiling a list to negate anything he said.

But this time, Rydak didn’t back away nor did he launch into a counter argument. He simply cocked his head to the side and rocked her world with the same intensity of a few minutes ago when he’d destroyed it. “I can’t give you what you need, Lissi.”

He truly believed what he said. It was there in his gaze along with a pain which mirrored her own. “Torkel told me about your empathy. Touching. I saw you with your nonja. Except we have touched.” She pressed a hand to his middle. “I just don’t know if you suffered for it after.”

He flinched.

She swallowed and gathered her courage, hand falling away. “I don’t want you to hurt. If being with me will bring you pain then I do not want it. Walk away if you need to, Rydak. But do it for the right reason and not because of fear.”

She’d give him that. Her acceptance. Because love meant doing the hard thing and making the hard choice.

“Do you understand what you’re asking for?”

She’d never heard him use such a harsh tone with her before. A slip of fear wheedled into the back of her mind but Lissi had fought too hard to give in now. “I am asking for you to give us a chance to see what we could be together as a Chosen and not just friends.”

Her voice may have trembled when she made the declaration. Faster than she could blink, he grabbed a hold of her and pinned her arms to her sides with a brutal grip.

“Rydak,” she gasped.

He nuzzled her cheek. “How soft. Yet dangerous.”

Lissi’s tensed, heart pounding and breath lodged somewhere in her chest. Rydak pressed the flat of his hands along her back, locking their bodies together. She didn’t struggle, suspecting he was on the cusp of snapping and any move she made would trigger him.

“If I agree to give in. To stop fighting as you imply, are you prepared for what you’re asking?” he murmured, face still aligned next to hers. Not waiting for an answer, Rydak rocked his lower hips forward and his hardened shaft notched between her thighs creating flutters of sensation. “Can you handle all of me, Lissi?”

Lips numb and unable to believe he actually held her after what he’d said earlier, Lissi nodded. “I can handle whatever you have to give, Rydak.”

His head jerked down and their gazes met, his stormy gray eyes riveted on her face. “Bold words.”

“Truthful.”

“Let’s see about that.” His mouth was on her in a bruising kiss which demanded. Tongue plundering past her lips, Rydak smashed through her anger leaving only desire in his wake. Lissi moaned and writhed, her body eager to be as close as possible to his. Her gyrations rubbed his firm length exactly where she wanted.

His hands at her back slid down to grasp her butt firmly and lifted. Shifting position gained Lissi what she wanted and the climax tore through her. With his name a broken cry on her lips, she shuddered. Only his hold kept her from falling to the floor.

“You win. I’m not going to walk away from this, Lissi. From you. Even if it pains me.”

Blinking and dazed from the unexpected rapture, Lissi could only stare. Amidst the residual pleasure, relief and amazement kept her mouth open for all of a second before his words sunk in.

Even if it pained him.

Lissi struggled to break free of his hold upon hearing those words. The effort was a waste as Rydak easily locked her in the embrace. “Is there another way? Something I can do to help?”

Even if it pained her.