Staring out the window at the busy streets below with narrowed eyes, I clenched my jaw as my mind worked slowly. Anna’s phone call rang in my ears, and for the first time I found myself wondering about who she was. Surely I knew her, what she liked and disliked, her favorite movie and what snacks she enjoyed, but I was skimming the surface.

“-she didn’t give me any real details…” Risha’s words from a week ago floated into my mind’s eye with that curious expression on her porcelain face. Does that mean Anna doesn’t talk about me with her friends?

My frown deepened, and I tore my gaze off the city to drop heavily into my chair. Mine was such a silly concern, I knew; who was I to expect Anna to gossip about me, anyway? Just because I had told my friends about her didn’t mean she had to do the same.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had a relationship. I thought I left all of this behind in my 20s.” Speaking up into my empty office, I raked my hand through my hair with a heavy sigh. My words bounced around me tauntingly, daring me to question myself about why I was in this relationship.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back in my chair to picture Anna. She was sweet, beautiful, and I truly did enjoy my time with her. Like taking her to nice restaurants, buying out a theater to watch a romantic movie, and taking her to London. Frowning at the mental pictures, I tried to search my memory for anything we did in the past few months that didn’t involve pulling out my wallet. Even when we had a date night at her apartment I still ended up paying for takeout.

It’s not like I don’t have money to burn…

Hissing, I sucked my teeth like a teenager that was just scolded by his mother. My mind turned to our conversation, and Anna’s steady voice wiggled into the shallow crevices of my brain. Her car had broken down, and she didn’t have the money to fix it. She had an important client out of town that wouldn’t wait on her, and she couldn’t afford a rental car.

Anna couldn’t seem to afford a lot of things despite having a fairly affluential job as a real estate agent. I knew plenty of people that sold homes and lived comfortably.

“What could I tell her? No?” Glancing around my office, I couldn’t help but acknowledge I was going to go insane if I stayed here. The large clock on my wall told me noon was only 15 minutes away, and I pushed myself up to grab my jacket. My footfall was hard, reflecting the set of my shoulders as I made my way past a slew of closed doors leading to conference rooms to reach the elevator.

My cell phone rang, and I fished the device out of my pocket to grimace at the screen. Luca’s face flashed, giving me a good distraction from my own problems as I focused on his. Swiping the ‘answer’ button, I brought the speaker to my ear before the elevator doors opened to echo down the quiet hall.

“Hey, I was about to call you- see if you wanted to go out to lunch.” My little, white lie produced a grunt, and I jabbed the ground floor button with my thumb before speaking up. “What’s wrong with you today, Luca?”

There was always something, and Luca’s side of the call crackled lightly as I descended. Waiting patiently, I let my mind wander to what he was going through. He only had one kid left, and it was starting to make him anxious. He wanted to do all of the things he couldn’t do when he was young.

His antics already pushed his brother too far, and I wasn’t too sure they’d make up this time.

“I’ll go. I want to get out of the house anyway. Julia’s driving me insane about buying a game room package. Usual place?” Smiling at the mention of that woman, I shook my head as scenarios raced through my mind. Julia had never needed to know how to control Luca’s idiotic tendencies, and it was a little too late to learn. She’d given birth to three boys, though, so I was sure she could handle herself.

“Yeah. Meet you there in 20.” Hanging up before Luca could launch into another tirade about having to tell his wife where he was going and why, I slipped my phone into my pocket to stare at my reflection. Luca had been a good friend since high school, but it was easy to acknowledge he was slipping.

I can understand it, though. He did pop out four kids before he turned 25, after all. The thought only brought a scowl to my face, and I pulled my jacket on roughly.

“Will, you’re so lucky you decided to wait to have kids.” Nursing a Coke as I set my heels against the rungs of my bar stool, a harsh, involuntary bark of laughter burst from my throat. Next to me Luca was sulking, his eyes intense when they bored holes into my side. Keeping my eyes on the noiseless sports game playing overhead, I took a swig of my drink with a soft hiss.

“It wasn’t a decision, Luca. If I had my way I’d be like you, but I wouldn’t have stopped at 4.” Apparently, Luca wasn’t the only one sulking, and he sighed over his beer. Side-eyeing him wearily, I took in his disheveled hair and thickening, unruly beard with a frown. We weren’t young enough anymore to drink at noon, but he looked like he did so regularly. “What’s going on with you, man?”

“What? Nothing’s going on. All of my kids are out of the house, and I want to do shit. That’s not wrong.” Dismal, Luca’s answer only pulled down my lips, and he shrugged absently. “It’s long overdue, don’t you think?”

“I think you shouldn’t act like you’re 22, no matter the fact that you weren’t able to do this crazy crap back then. Luca, you seriously can’t expect people to condone this behavior. I-“

“Oh my God, you sound like Nash.” Waving me off, Luca took a gulp of beer before shaking his head wildly. “Please don’t try to mother me, okay, Will?”

“You need a damn mother, apparently.” My angry snap reverberated throughout the crowded bar, and I ignored the curious stares that landed on my back. “Jesus, Luca- I know your mom kicked you out, but that was 25 years ago. Your kids are leaving, but that’s not a fucking excuse to go off the rails and party like it’s 1986.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m not that stupid.” A waitress set a tray in front of us, and I reached to rub my forehead as she set my sandwich before me. She didn’t say a word, sensing the tension between my friend and I, before scurrying away to finish her work. Grabbing a bottle of ketchup, I dressed my lunch in silence as Luca tore into his burger.

“I’m just saying- you’re going to lose everything if you keep this up. It’s not going to reverse time, and it’s not going to feel as good as you think it will. Nash is dealing with his pregnant girlfriend. Your wife is making you sleep in the guest room. Seriously, you need to pick yourself up.” Green colored my words, but I doubted Luca heard it; he was too busy washing down his cheeseburger. For so many years I’d envied what he had, but now he was throwing it all away.

And for what? A little ‘fun’ that was going to end up with his ass in a jail cell.

“Yeah, I know what you’re saying, Will- everyone seems to be saying the same thing. I’m a grown ass man. I don’t need or want advice on what to do with my life. In six months Kevin is out and off to his internship in California, and it’ll just be me and the missus.”

“Everyone is saying the same thing because we’re the ones that are right, Luca. Six months is more than enough time to throw away your life. Why can’t you just pack Julia up, get a camper, and cross country like all of the other folks that have no more kids?” Taking the first bite of my chicken sandwich, I savored the flavor as silence descended on us. For the first time since ordering my gaze wandered around the restaurant, and I propped my elbows on the bar top. Vaguely familiar faces surrounded me; this was the closest eatery to my building.

I didn’t know everyone that worked in my office, and a frown tugged at my mouth as I chewed. For a company on top of the world, I knew I couldn’t remember each and every person that was under my employ, just like they didn’t know me. No one tried to sidle up to the big boss during lunch, hoping to score points towards a pay raise or promotion.

To every good there was a bad, I guess.

“Don’t even get me started on Natalie. Julia has her over all the time, and all they talk about is cooking and baking. I swear I’ll have recipes for shit I can’t even name coming out of my ears.” Grumbling to himself, Luca lost my attention as a very familiar face came into view, and I twisted to get a better look. Across the restaurant, dressed in a warm looking, long-sleeved day dress, was Risha. She’d straightened her long, thick locks of mahogany hair, keeping it pinned back from her face with something jeweled. A smile crested her cheeks, but her laughter was lost from the distance between us.

My mind flew back to that night we’d met, and I rested my cheek on my fist to stare at her. Risha had strutted up to me with a confidence not many women had nowadays, and my chest tightened at the memory. Our conversation had been so brief it shouldn’t have mattered, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. If I was 20 years younger I wouldn’t have let her walk away.

Blinking slowly, I pictured Risha in her pretty, simple gown before hopping wordlessly off my bar stool. Weaving through crowded tables and busy wait staff, I kept my eyes on her as she chatted animatedly with her friend. For just a split second her eyes wandered, and my heart thundered in my chest when they met mine. Her smile froze, and my steps faltered slightly before I realized there was no going back.

“Hello, Risha.” Coming up on her table, I stuffed my hands into my pants pockets to keep myself from reaching for hers. Handshaking might’ve been okay across a conference table, but the flash of panic in Risha’s dark gaze told me she was anything but comfortable.

“Erh- William… what a pleasant surprise. Are you here with Anna?” Blurting out her question, Risha offered me an obviously forced smile before I shook my head.

“No. I noticed you from the bar and wanted to know if you could spare me a few moments of your time.” I’m not 15 anymore, so why is this so difficult? Risha’s relief was almost palpable in the busy restaurant, and surprise relaxed my shoulders when she sprung up from her seat.

“I’ll be right back, Cynthia.” Only briefly did my eyes wander to Risha’s friend before she sauntered off towards an empty corner booth. Every move she made was graceful and refined, and she leaned against the thick, wooden table before speaking up once again. “I’m actually glad you realized I was here. I wanted to apologize for jumping you last week.”

Pursing my lips together, all I could think to do was shake my head. Again. Like a 15 year old.

“I don’t mind, Risha. I was just wondering how well you know Anna.” Blood thundered in my ears, and I held my breath as a thoughtful expression overtook Risha’s face. She was beautiful, like an artisan doll, and I took in the shallow crease between her slender brows through narrowed eyes.

“I know her very well, actually. Which is why I was hoping to see you again, William. You should know that Anna is very… monetarily inclined…” Speaking slowly, cautiously, Risha watched me critically and chose her words carefully. “I didn’t want to bring it up at the theater, but you surprised me. Anna has a history of dating younger men, and you seemed so smitten with her…”

Furrowing my eyebrows, I frowned as Risha let her intentions hang in the air between us. Concern shone from her eyes, her face a perfect portrayal of worry and determined justice. Of course she’d be worried for me if she knew Anna had deviated from her ‘type’…

“I had a feeling she might’ve been initially attracted to me because of my money…” Uttering the words was a physical blow, and I sucked in air sharply as they stung my chest. “But I was hoping…”

“I understand.” The heat was sucked out of my body by the gentle, comforting hand Risha laid on my forearm. Her touch was soothing, and I let out my breath in a heavy sigh before she continued. “Trust me- I know how Anna can be. You shouldn’t simply take my word for it, but you seem like a stable man. I don’t want you to go through dealing with someone like her.”

“If you don’t like her, why are you friends?” Posing my question without any thought, I clenched my jaw tightly. Whatever I was expecting Risha to do didn’t happen, and she pulled a scrunched-up face. Her soft fingertips left my sleeve, and my calmed heart began to race once again.

“It’s a very complicated situation. My point is I don’t really think Anna has ‘found the light’, and I would feel guilty for not warning you, William.”

“Would you like to get drinks sometime?” The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it, and my mind ground to a halt. Risha’s doe eyes widened, and I cleared my throat before managing to get my tongue to work. “You went out of your way for me. It’s the least I can do regardless whether you’re right. Not many people take the time or the effort you did for a stranger, Risha.”

… I’m a fucking idiot.