“The woman I thought I loved chose my brother. Long story short- I fucked up, and she payed the price. So, I left.” Grimacing at my empty bag, I let my spork fall from my fingers to grind my teeth absently. “Not that it did much good because I just fucked myself all over again after getting here, but that’s a story for another time.”

I couldn’t even mention what happened with Hannah without automatically thinking of Frank, and the plastic bag in my hand crinkled loudly as I fisted my fingers. Nick was right, and time had only made that fact more glaringly obvious. Frank was someone I obsessed over, and no one could get in the way no matter how hard he or she tried.

“… That’s shitty… you know- I was engaged once.” Glancing up, I watched displeasure flitter across Caroline’s expression through narrowed eyes. Her hair was a pretty, dark, cherry blonde color now that it was clean, and she reached to push away her drying curls with steady fingers. “He left me when I told him I wanted to wait to have kids. I was barely 21 when he proposed to me after three years- I thought I hit the fucking jackpot. But he kept bringing up kids, or his parents would bring up grandkids, and I caught him poking holes into the condoms even though I was secretly on birth control. I went ballistic- Jesus… even thinking about it now gives me this shitty feeling for how bad I was.”

Blinking slowly, I sucked in air before realizing I’d been holding my breath. Across the couch, Caroline puffed out her cheeks, and I cocked my head as questions swirled behind my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder why she was even revealing this crap to me. I was a stranger no matter how comfortable her dog was with me.

“Anyway- two weeks later I come to our shared apartment and all of his shit is gone. Even his roll of toilet paper. He left me a note saying he wasn’t going to wait until he was too old to want to play with his kids and all that stuff… but he was only 23 at the time. It’s ridiculous. After all these years, I still can’t think of a single reason why anyone, man or woman, would want children so bad it’s actually detrimental to their relationship.”

“He was probably going to fuck you over.” Spitting out the first thing I thought of, I silently recounted the horror stories I’d heard abroad from my fellow servicemen. Arching an eyebrow, Caroline turned all of her intense attention to me as I shrugged. “You know- marry you, get you pregnant, then instigate and make your lives miserable until you get a divorce. I mean, sure- he has to pay… but then he can be that guy with the crazy ex-wife and get sympathy from his work or women or whatever. Guys like that are dicks- plain and simple. You dodged a bullet, Caroline.”

My thoughts went to a man Nick knew that’d done just what Caroline had experienced. He’d gotten a thrill from stringing the poor girl along, and in the end, he turned her into a strung out, psycho-bitch with two kids and no support system. It was as insane as it was sad.

“Yeah, I’m aware. Now, I live with my dad and am happy as a peach… What about you? The woman? How did she fall in love with your brother? That’s some crazy stuff, you know.” Hannah’s image flashed in my mind’s eye, and for a moment I was quiet. She’d be four months pregnant by now, but the curiosity ringing in my ears banished the notion. Leaning back to cross my knees, I stared at the television blankly as I replayed those weeks. Everything felt like it’d happened to someone else- like my experience with Frank had fucked with me beyond repair.

And there’s that asshole again. In the same thought bubble. Fuck.

“I was just an idiot, reading too much into the situation. The harder I pressed, the more she went to Nick. It’s been months- I honestly can say that I haven’t really thought about her that much. There’s not much else to it.” Better leave the drugs out of it for now.

“And since then, you’ve just been out here- by yourself… doing nothing but eating Army rations and watching Channel 4 News and drinking beer?” Nodding firmly, I tilted my head just in time to watch Caroline bark out a harsh laugh. She was pretty, even when she was assaulting me with that condescending sound, and her light brown eyes sparkled when they met mine. “Aren’t soldiers supposed to be world-weary? I thought you guys didn’t have a gullible side, James.”

“There’s a difference between being gullible and being stupid, okay? I just picked the wrong fucking stripper that night-“ My defense cut off by more laughing, and Caroline doubled over to clutch her belly. Clenching my teeth tightly, I stood up stiffly as she was still trying to get control of herself. Her laughter followed my, gyrating my eardrums and taunting me as I grew hot and tense.

“She- she’s a st- stripper! Oh- you’re right! You were stupid! You debatably fell in love with a stripper, and she chose your brother… Oh- Oh Jesus… That’s amazing.” Amusement was clear in Caroline’s voice, and I tossed my lunch bag to yank open the refrigerator roughly.

“Fuck you, okay? You’d understand if you met her.” Grabbing two water bottles, I gnashed my teeth while Caroline sputtered her insincere apologies. She was still giggling when I dropped back onto the couch, and I tossed her the plastic container with annoyance coursing through my veins. “The point is, I’m perfectly fucking okay with where I’m at right now. So, how long ago did Mister Douchebag disappear on you?”

“Seven years ago. Afterwards, I moved in with my dad and decided to pursue photography full time. I got Kiki a year and a half ago under my dad’s suggestion. He’s always liked military dogs because they typically come pretty well trained even after failing or retiring. When Kiki didn’t like him, he got all butt hurt.” Easily Caroline offered up whatever information she was willing to give- which was quite a bit. Glancing between her and her dog, I drew my brows together before opening my mouth.

“What made you pick her?” I’d never been much of a pet person, and I couldn’t figure out why Caroline would pick one dog over another. The smile that crested her cheeks was reminisced and fond, and I held my breath as anticipation replaced blood in my veins.

“She was going to be put down because she was very violent and disobedient. The day I went to the kennels was actually the last day she was supposed to be there. She’d failed her certified training courses twice- I guess they did it twice because she’s super smart… But- yeah- I went down the line and they all seemed like good dogs, you know? But I wanted more than a pet. And I get to the end, and there’s a door where they keep the bad ones. I can see her through the little window, and she looked at me… and I just knew. I knew she was the one for me. The officers at the kennel told me she couldn’t be adopted out, but I went back there, and Kiki wasn’t even nervous or anything. It was like we were meant for each other. One of the officers tried to take my shoulder, and she went crazy. Broke through a corner of the fencing and nearly took his arm off.”

“My dad was so pissed when we got home. Kiki hates his guts and he can’t understand why. He threw a fit that lasted an entire week before realizing I wasn’t taking her back. Then, I spent six or seven months training her on top of her Naval training. And this was the result.” Caroline’s anecdote came to a close, and I rested my head back against my bicep to digest her story. She was pretty incredible to successfully train a military dog; their orders were ingrained in them from the moment they were born.

Then again, she was probably smart about it and didn’t try to rewrite the dog’s brain, just add onto it.

“That’s a crazy story. When I was in the Marines, I had a partner who had a dog. That thing was fucking terrible. It shed everywhere and ate all of our helmets at least once.” A low, humorless chuckle escaped my lips, and I frowned into space as Caroline’s gaze bored into my cheek. “That piece of shit… Any normal service dog would’ve smelled the IED… we weren’t even going that fast. Next thing you know, the dog, my buddies, and the Humvee are splattered across the sand and on fire.”

“Did they die?” My leg ached at the question, and I reached to rub it hard with the butt of my palm. Taking a deep breath through my nose, I held it before letting my lungs deflate in a gust. Thinking of that day didn’t hurt much anymore, but my leg- fuck- my leg throbbed every time.

“Yeah. One of them. He sat right next to me. We couldn’t even find parts of his body. My CO is in a wheelchair- my XO is a fucking vegetable… And I’ve got this to remind me that shit happens.” Patting my thigh, I tossed my head to stare intently at Caroline’s face. Where I expected horror, pity, I only saw curiosity and pride. Just like when she woke up, she was surprising me.

“Would you go back if you could?” Slowly shaking my head, I lifted my water bottle to my lips only to pause. Tearing my eyes off Caroline, I frowned at the hard, plastic cap that closed the container. Forcefully twisting the top, I tossed the piece onto the coffee table with a grunt.

Talking about my service, even with a stranger, wasn’t difficult for me; it’d never been. As a veteran, you’re expected to talk about it. But I’d rather die than go through that again. Especially if it meant turning into Frank.