Slinking into the doctor’s examination room, I set my bag down on the floor to sit in the chair and sulk. Roark had been right, and that pissed me off just about as much as what he’d been right about.

Why was I going through the annoyance of a cervical implant when I can get an implant in my arm and not have to come back for three years?

“Ugh- I should’ve known…” Dropping my head into my hands, I sucked in air loudly through my nose to heave a sigh. “Just like with the pads…”

Groaning, I cringed as I remembered my idiot younger self. I was scared to use tampons, but pads gave me a rash. It wasn’t until I had to make an emergency trip to the nurse at the end of my senior year that I realized tampons were the best invention ever.

The door to the room opened, and surprise made my heart jump into my throat. Doctor Reeves’ smile was intense and bright, and I couldn’t help but smile as my dark mood vanished in her presence.

“Welcome back. I’ll just wait for you to change into the gown. Did you already give a urine sample?” Nodding firmly, I pushed myself up as Reeves set her burden on the counter to the left of the door. “Good, good. So, Ally, you’re only here for your insert removal?”

“Uh, yeah. I was actually wondering if you had a different one… maybe one that doesn’t require me to come in twice a month.” Doctor Reeves didn’t bat an eyelash, and I kicked off my shoes to shuffle out of my jeans. Hearing her snap latex gloves on, I wiggled out of my panties and shirt to hurry into my gown.

“Of course. If that’s the case, I’ll need to make another appointment and wait until after your period. So, is there any change in your sexual activity? Anything I need to know about?” Hopping up onto the exam bed, I laid down to stare at the ceiling as Reeves dropped into her rolling stool. Heat flushed my cheeks, and maybe she sensed what the silence was about before she spoke up again. “I take it there was a change? Do you want me to do an STD panel?”

“What? No- no… that’s okay. I mean, yeah- there was a change. I’m sexually active.” Well, not since Monday morning. Damn corporate meetings. Grimacing at the thought, I sighed as Reeves moved my willing feet into the stirrups. “He’s really great- like, I can’t believe it sometimes.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re feeling so confident about it. I know you had some cycle troubles after your last break up because you were depressed, and you never did go to that therapist I suggested. Anyway, let’s see what we have here. It’s going to be a little cold.” Without any other warning, Reeves did what she was trained to do, and I winced slightly. “Are you experiencing any trouble peeing or unusual cramps? Your internal tissues are red and a little swollen.”

“Ah- no… that would be the sex.” Discomfort churned my gut, but Reeves only hummed in understanding. Her gloved fingers reached deep, and I gripped the sides of the bed tightly before she spoke up again.

“Hang on- let me get a speculum.” Swiveling away with her fingers still inside me, Doctor Reeves used her free, clean hand to grab the instrument off the tray on the counter. “Try to relax a little for me, Ally.”

Speculums were a woman’s worst nightmare, and I squeezed my eyes shut and ground my teeth together harshly. It couldn’t be over fast enough, and the room descended into silence before she spoke up.

“Did your implant fall out?” The question made my head whip up, and I winced when the speculum dug into my inner walls. Between my legs, Doctor Reeves wore a deep frown, and I held my breath behind thin lips even as hers parted. “I’m not seeing it anywhere. Do you remember if anything happened over the past three weeks? Any rigorous abdominal activity, rough sex, or if you were constipated and used muscle relaxers?”

“I- I don’t think so? What does this mean? I- we didn’t use a condom and we had a lot of sex when I was supposed to be ovulating. I thought it was just regular discharge…” My eyes widened, and I fell back with a thud to groan loudly. “Oh shit- right after I left here last time, I skidded on the highway and slammed into the steering wheel. Would that do it?”

“Yeah. Do you want a test? It might be too early to be accurate, though.”

“Uh- no- no… I’ll just… get one if I miss my period. I really hope I don’t miss my period.” My voice wobbled, and my lips trembled, and I pushed the butts of my palms into my eyes. Carefully removing the speculum, Reeves was silent as I prayed to whichever deity would listen. Roark had never specified if he wanted kids, and I had to be stupid and jinx it by saying it should be a surprise.

Wow.

“Okay… well, you can put your clothes back on. I’ll wait for your call before making another appointment.” Reeves left without another word, and I sat up to smooth my paper gown over my legs. For a long, tense moment, I stared at the floor trying to figure out what to do. Plan B would still work; it was only Tuesday.

But there was the entire possibility that it wouldn’t work for Friday and Saturday.

This is bad.

Sliding off the exam table onto unsteady legs, I shoved off my dress to climb back into my clothes. My hands shook, and tears welled in my eyes when I fumbled with my jeans button. Snatching my bag, I shoved my feet into my sneakers to rush out of the room and down the hall.

Bursting into the parking lot, I took a huge breath of the cool, crisp air and held it. Early spring was my favorite time of year, but the sun shining on my face and the breeze in my hair didn’t make any difference. Slowly walking towards my car, I fished my cell phone out of my purse to scroll through my contacts.

Kelly would be in her last class right now, and it was that thought that stopped me from texting anyone. Everyone I knew was at work, and I hung my head in defeat on the way to my car.

“I’m going to go to the buffet…” Jerking the gear into drive, I grimaced at my own suggestion, but it was still the best idea I could come up with. Rolling out of my parking space, I held the wheel with a tight grip as I remembered how it’d betrayed me. I’d been wearing a skirt that day- because I was stupid. The temperature had been in the low 20s, but it was supposed to warm up. My appointment had been for early morning, and I barely made it out of this very lot before I was skidding down the hill towards oncoming traffic with no stop sign.

“Damn car.” Glaring out the windshield, I huffed and puffed as I tried to think of the best way to get to the buffet. “Should I go left or straight at the light…?”

The buffet was all the way across town, but in my anxious state, it only seemed to take a blink of an eye. Pulling into a parking spot near the door, I shoved the gear in park and turned off my car before raking both my hands in my hair. Grabbing my bag, I took a deep, steadying breath before climbing out of the driver’s seat.

Food wasn’t going to fix this problem, but it’d help me think. I didn’t even consider how depressing it was to go to an all-you-can-eat ribs and shrimp all by myself.

“Excuse me?” The buffet wasn’t all that crowded for lunch, and I flagged down someone that worked there with a wave of my hand. She looked bored, but her face instantly perked up on her way over to me. Smiling as she gave me the customary employee greeting, I adjusted my purse absently before opening my mouth. “Uh- do you have any balloons? Can you draw a face on one for me? I’m not having the best day.”

“Sure- no problem at all.” She didn’t ask any questions before bouncing away, and I busied myself with a trip to the salad bar. Grabbing a cool plate and fork, I looked over the vegetables that had obviously just been put out. The perks of being here for lunch.

Setting my loaded plate on a random table, I sat down and got comfortable before finding myself staring through the first course of what was going to be an epic lunch. My mind drifted, and I rolled my lips between my teeth absently.

It was crazy how the minuscule chance of pregnancy was making me stress eat like I had three stomachs. I could not be pregnant, but the anxiety associated with unprotected sex turned that notion invisible.

People had unprotected sex all the time and don’t get pregnant. Blinking slowly, I pictured the weekend and silently counted the numerous times Roark and I had been together. It’d started out intense and a little awkward, but that faded after I accidentally shoved my toes in his mouth during a particularly twitchy orgasm.

“Here’s your balloon…” The upbeat call made me jump, and I blinked hard to watch the hostess I’d just talked to flash a big, yellow balloon at me. “Do you want me to tape it to the chair?”

“Oh- yes, please. I’m sorry- I’m just going through some… stuff… by myself. It’s a mess, really.” Rattling off some crappy excuse, I sighed heavily as the hostess poised herself behind the chair directly across from me. She was young, no older than I was, and her face was full of understanding when she nodded to the tune of Scotch tape being pulled.

“I get it. If you need anything, I’ll be around.” Smiling at me, she made sure the balloon was secure before bouncing off again. Tilting my head to watch her dyed blonde ponytail swing, I propped my chin in my palm with a sigh. Grabbing my fork, my fingers didn’t shake anymore, and I took that as a good sign.

“Alright!” Pointing my fork at my makeshift friend, I narrowed my eyes as the balloon swayed slightly before stabbing a piece of cucumber. “Get ready for the massive amount of bullshit I’m going to unload on you!”