“Come on, come on. Turn green, you stupid light!” I screamed. I wildly tapped against the steering wheel, looking both ways.

No cars were around us. This late at night, the neighborhood streets were empty and quiet. “Don’t do it,” Kristoff whispered.

But I wasn’t listening. I slammed my foot down on the pedal. Luckily, the light turned green right as I crossed the line.

“Jeez,” Kristoff said. “Be more careful, Addison. We have a baby on board.”

I exhaled sharply. I was being stupid, but I was thinking about Frank. He was an old man going through a critical situation. We needed to hurry. “I’m sorry. I’m anxious,” I said.

“Me too,” Kristoff said, leaning back. “I swear, he predicted all of this somehow.”

I shot a glance over at Kristoff, who was leaning his head against the lightly fogged-up window. The red, neon lights of shops outside, was visible against his face. “What do you mean?” I asked.

Kristoff ran his palm against the side of his messy hair. “I didn’t have a chance to tell you. Frank put me in his will. He wants to give his money to us,” Kristoff said.

“He can’t do that. We don’t need it,” I said. The idea didn’t make any sense to me, but if he knew his health was getting worse, he might have felt desperate to find someone to give his last belongings to.

“I told him that, but he didn’t want to listen. He doesn’t have any family left, baby,” Kristoff said.

The whole thing made me feel sick to my stomach. Who could think about money when someone close to you was dying? I had only known Frank for a short time, but in that period, I had gotten close to him. This was a tragedy.

“If he gives us that money, we’re giving it to your family,” I said.

“They wouldn’t take it, but I’ll try,” Kristoff sighed. “On second thought, I don’t want to be talking about this right now. Frank is going to pull through. I know it.”

We drove for another ten minutes in absolute silence, hoping that everything would indeed turn out right in the end. The worry did remain, however. As we pulled into the hospital parking lot, I felt weak. This was the same hospital I visited Holloway in.

We walked toward the shining doors as they slid open. I felt the anxiety nearly take me down to the newly waxed floor. Kristoff ran to the receptionist. “I’m here to see Frank Valente,” he said.

I was worried that I’d never be able to thank Frank for his generous offer. Even though we didn’t need the charity, it was a fantastic gesture of kindness.

The receptionist was taking his time. “Do you know who called you?” he asked.

Something in me snapped. “Let us in, dammit!” I screamed. Immediately, I covered my mouth. Even Kristoff looked at me, alarmed. “Sorry. We don’t know who called. Can’t you just tell us where to go?”

The receptionist eventually found the patient number and directed us toward the hall. Kristoff and I made the slow march forward, holding hands as we walked through the door.

“I’m scared,” Kristoff whispered.

“I know, baby. It’s going to be okay,” I said. But I had no idea what was in store for us.

I slowly opened Frank’s hospital room door. I peered inside. Frank was hooked up to tubes, but he didn’t look as bad as I thought. To my surprise, an elderly man was sitting beside him, weeping.

“Hi,” I whispered. “We’re here to see Frank, but we can come back if it’s a bad time.”

I figured the man was one of Frank’s friends, but Kristoff looked downright confused. The man wiped his tears with a handkerchief and gave us a polite smile. “No, it’s fine. Please, come in. I think he’d like to hear from other people,” he said.

“I’m Addison,” I said. “And this is my boyfriend, Kristoff.”

The man seemed to lower his eyes from mine when I said the word boyfriend. I wasn’t sure what to expect since I knew some older people didn’t accept alphas and omegas. Even after all of the progress we had made, some people just didn’t want two men to procreate.

“My name is Carl Bailey,” he said.

“How do you know Frank?” Kristoff asked. “I’m his care aide, so we talk a lot. He never mentioned you.”

Kristoff wasn’t invasive. He was genuinely curious. The man shifted in his seat, taking a glance at Frank. “I was…” He stopped himself, unable to continue. A faint tear fell from his eyes. “I was his alpha.”

Kristoff’s eyes darted wide open. “You were his what?” he asked.

“I was his alpha,” Carl repeated.

Kristoff furrowed his brow and craned his neck forward. “But that’s impossible. He told me you passed away years ago,” Kristoff said.

The old alpha put his hand on Frank’s. He collapsed against the side of the bed, weeping with pain. “Why was I so selfish? I didn’t know what I wanted. I was scared.”

The man’s words shot directly at my heart. I felt them a little bit more than Kristoff, maybe. That alpha was me, years ago. I felt inclined to reach out and say something, but I couldn’t.

Kristoff was as gentle as he usually was. He sat down next to the man and offered him his shoulder. “We’ll get through his,” he said.

The doctor quietly knocked on the door. “Hello, everyone. I just wanted to check in on Mr. Valente. I’m just going to take a quick glance at all the levels here,” he muttered.

“Doctor, can you tell us what happened to him? The woman on the phone wasn’t too clear,” I said.

The doctor took off his glasses and let them hang around his neck. I tried to gain some clarity through his facial expressions, but it was unclear what he was thinking.

“Mr. Valente called an ambulance a few hours ago. He had a high temperature of 102 degrees,” he said.

“He said he was okay,” Kristoff whispered.

I could see the guilt starting to form in Kristoff’s eyes. All I wanted to do was comfort him. I ran my hand over his shoulder, but nothing I could do would shield him from this.

The doctor continued checking his charts. “He had the flu. We got to him in time, and now we’re just trying to keep his fever down as best we can. He’s a fighter, that’s for sure,” he said.

Kristoff broke down. “Is he going to live?” Kristoff asked.

The doctor sighed and looked toward the hall. I could tell he didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but we needed some direction. “He’s not in great shape,” he said.

“But is he going to live?” I asked him.

“There’s no way to be one hundred percent sure. We’re doing everything we can, but he’s old, and his heart can only take so much. Right now, it’s a waiting game,” he said. “I’ll leave you alone for now. I’ll be down the hall if you have any more questions.”

“Thank you, doctor.” The words came out of my mouth like a mumble.

“Frank is like a father to me,” Kristoff said. Carl stayed silent. “I just can’t believe it. It was only hours ago when I last saw him.”

The three of us were definitely in the thick of darkness. I felt like I was running through a vast maze. There was no end in sight.

I sat down, but I felt unstable again. I had been so good at controlling my emotions lately, but the stress of everything came back. “I need to go out in the hall,” I muttered.

“Are you okay? Do you need me?” Kristoff asked.

“No, you’re fine. I just need to take a minute to myself. Maybe some fresh air will help,” I said.

When I got out into the hallway, I fell against the wall. A group of nurses looked at me anxiously, but I just quickly exited the building. Outside, I stooped against a bunch and tried to catch my breath.

It all hit me so fast. We could all go at any moment, and that scared me more than anything. I took too much for granted.

Maybe it wouldn’t have affected me as much if Kristoff wasn’t pregnant. But he was, and now I had to worry about my child’s safety for the rest of my life. I was humbled to take on that responsibility, but I needed to keep my courage nearer to my chest.

A solitary nurse was smoking off to the side of the building. He took a drag and waved over at me. “Hey, you don’t look so good. Do you need me to go grab someone?” he asked.

“No, I’m fine.” I stood up and started to calm down a little. “I had a short panic attack. I’m getting through it now, though,” I said.

“I think I saw you walk into Frank V’s room. He’s been here a few times before. He’s a really nice guy. I’m sorry about what happened. I bet he was a great father,” he said.

“He’s not my father,” I said. “My boyfriend is his personal care aide. He’s been working for Frank for years now.”

“Well, in any case, it’s a hard thing to see,” he said. I nodded, unable to speak.

The man looked slightly bashful, as he took a step back. He added, “You’re that football player, right? The one they’ve been talking about all year?”

I let out a small sliver of laughter. “Yeah, that’s me, I guess,” I said.

“Do you think you’ll ever play again?” he asked. The man sucked in the last drag on his cigarette and tossed it into the ashtray.

I desperately didn’t want to be talking about this. Yes, I wanted to play again, but as the days passed, it was starting to look like I missed my chance. “Maybe someday,” I muttered, ready to walk back inside.

He touched the side of my arm. “If you do, we’re all rooting for you. I know times have been tough. You have people on your side, man,” he said.

I lowered my eyes. “I appreciate that. I really do,” I said, truthfully.

The nurse smiled. “I can’t believe it. I thought you were going to tell me to eff off!” he exclaimed.

“No way. You seem like a nice guy,” I said. “And I’ve got a kid coming in seven months. I’m trying to find my inner Zen. No more throwing cameras.”

“Gabriel Iglesias. That’s my name,” he said. “It’s an honor to be in your presence.”

“It’s more of an honor for me. Thanks for talking,” I said.

I felt dazed. I walked two steps into the hospital and heard my name. “Addison?” I turned around to see Holloway in a wheelchair. “It is you! How have you been holding up?”

A big smile broke out on my face. Oddly enough, Holloway was the only person from my football days I felt like I could trust. “Holloway! Holy shit, you look great, man,” I said. Kelly smiled and waved hello. “You too, Kelly,” I added.

“Thanks, brother,” he said with a sigh of relief attached to the end of the sentence. “They have me in rehab over here, but the doctor thinks I’ll be able to leave in a month or so. What’s new with you? I haven’t seen you in the papers lately.”

“Don’t even get me started on the tabloids,” I said. “I’ve been laying low. Actually, I’ve got some big news. We’re pregnant.”

Right as I made the announcement, Kristoff walked into the lobby and waved. “We’re pregnant?” he asked.

All four of us smirked. “Holloway and Kelly, I want you to meet my sarcastic boyfriend, Kristoff,” I said.

They both greeted my omega with a kiss on the cheek. “I’ve heard great things about you,” Kristoff said.

“Congratulations on the pregnancy. That is huge!” Holloway said.

“Two months in, seven months to go!” Kristoff announced. He was doing his best job to stay peppy, but the faint tear marks remained on his face. The color on my face drained when the realization hit. Frank was still in that room.

“So, are you going to be a stay at home dad now?” Holloway asked.

Kristoff shook his head. “No. He’s going to make a comeback,” he said.

I leaned against my boyfriend and kissed his cheek. “I don’t know if that’s true,” I said.

“It’s true because I’m making him do it,” Kristoff added.

Holloway smiled. “Well, when you make up your mind, I want you to give me a call. Once I’m fully back on my feet, I’m going to be scouting for the league. We could use a comeback kid,” Holloway said.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” I said, shaking his hand again. “It’s really great to see you healing up. I’m sorry again.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Holloway said. “Just call me in a couple of months.”

“He will,” Kristoff interjected.

After Holloway and his wife Kelly left the lobby, I was finally alone with Kristoff. I just wanted one night with him again to ourselves, but life kept coming at us.

“I decided to leave Carl and Frank alone,” Kristoff said. “I just feel terrible about the whole thing.”

In that dimly lit hospital lobby, I held Kristoff close to me. “Everyone has a path. And for once in my life, I can breathe easier and know that I’m making the right decision,” I said. “I think that’s what Frank wanted us to know the most. He knows how hard relationships can be. He’s been cheering us on for a long time.”

More tears fell from Kristoff’s eyes, but the understanding that accompanied them moved miles. “Today was a hard fucking day,” Kristoff whispered, sighing. “But you’re right. Let’s go home and fall asleep with each other. I want to make sure I never let you go.”

With a nod, we walked out of the building. Back on the street, we headed home. We turned to the only thing we wanted to latch onto forever.

Hope.