In the month and a half between Peter’s change of heart and John’s scheduled c-section, the beta did everything he could to meet Peter halfway and knew it still wasn’t anything compared to the faith the Alpha was putting in him.

He knew if he had asked Peter to risk his own life, he would have without hesitation. Being asked to accept the possibility that his mate might die bringing their child into the world was every Alpha’s worst nightmare.

For three years, John had doubted that Peter ever truly loved him. As he laid in a hospital bed with an IV in his arm to prep him for surgery, the look in John’s eyes left no room for doubt that no one, beta or omega, had ever been loved more fiercely.

Peter squeezed John’s hand as the doctor checked his vitals. “You’re going to do great. You’ve got this.”

John smiled, but his stomach was nothing but butterflies. Or maybe they were war planes. Felt more like the latter. Peter kissed him before they placed the oxygen mask over his face and told him to breathe deep. His head spun and he couldn’t tell if it was because they were wheeling the bed down the hall or because he was just dizzy. The drugs kicked in fast, even if it wasn’t the full sedation an omega would have been under for the same procedure.

It was still so early, and there was still the chance that there would be complications, but everyone had agreed that now was the optimal window for the safety of John and the baby. Part of him regretted not getting to be lucid for the birth of their daughter, but he felt no pain and when her cries roused him from his half-awake state, his heart filled with joy.

He was still too tired to keep his eyes open, but he heard Peter talking to him. The Alpha sounded far away, but he felt a hand on his shoulder and he could just barely make out the words, “She’s beautiful, John. She’s perfect,” before he lost consciousness.

* * *

When John opened his eyes, it felt like someone had cut him open and sewn him back up. As he came to, he realized they had. His heart monitor quickened as he realized the baby wasn’t in his arms, but when he saw Peter cradling her in his arms by the window, it fluttered for a different reason.

Peter was singing softly to her, a Russian lullaby, judging by the cadence of the beautiful words. He hadn’t realized he was being watched yet, and John was enjoying the sight of his mate so uncharacteristically softened in demeanor that he was in no hurry to alert him.

Even though he knew where Peter’s fears regarding the pregnancy came from, there had always been part of him that feared there was more to it than that. That the Alpha didn’t want to have a family with him at all, that it would make everything too real, too permanent. When he saw the way Peter was gazing down at their daughter, cradling her like a precious treasure and beaming with pride, those fears went to their final resting place.

Peter finally looked up and smiled tiredly. The dark circles under his eyes made John think he felt rested because he had been sleeping for a long time. He was still in pain and still felt weak, but he no longer had the sensation that he was being slowly poisoned that had plagued him throughout the last couple of months of his pregnancy.

The worst was over. Now, there was only coming to accept the fact that they were living in the dream that had kept him afloat all this time.

“There he is,” Peter said, sitting down next to John on the bed. He adjusted the blankets around their daughter’s face as she slept soundly, as if she knew there was nowhere safer in all the world than the Alpha’s arms. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, leaning in to kiss John’s forehead.

“Better now,” John answered, drinking in the sight of them both. For a moment, it was too perfect and he feared that he hadn’t made it after all. That this was some dream conjured up in Heaven to keep his mind occupied. When Peter placed their daughter in his arms, the weight of the small bundle settling against his chest reassured him that she was real. It was all real. “She’s so tiny.”

“She’s four pounds even,” Peter said, his voice hoarse from exhaustion and worry. “It’s not a lot, but she’s not as small as some thirty-one-week olds. The doctor says she’ll have to stay in the NICU for at least three weeks, but her vitals are good. We’re in the best case scenario right now.”

John nodded, filled with relief. It was still going to be a long road ahead, but they had survived. They had each other. “How long was I asleep?”

“A couple of days.”

“Days?” John echoed in disbelief.

“You needed the rest,” Peter replied, stroking his mate’s jaw. “Me and Java Bean have been getting to know each other.”

“Java Bean?” John arched an eyebrow.

“She’s tiny and she’s kept me awake for two days straight,” Peter said with a tired laugh. “Figured she needed a moniker until you could come up with a name.”

“Oh, no. You’re not shirking that responsibility off on me,” John teased. “First it’s the name, then it’s diapers.”

Peter grinned. As exhausted as he was, John had never seen him look happier. More at peace. “Fair enough.” He paused, looking down at their daughter. The way his gaze softened made John’s heart melt. “What about Anya?”

“Anya,” John said, mulling over the name. “That’s beautiful. What does it mean?”

“It means bringing goodness,” he answered. That’s exactly what she’s done.”

Tears welled in John’s eyes. For so long, he’d been just living day to day. Trying to forget Peter. Trying to move on. Trying to convince himself that he could be whole without the Alpha who had given him everything and taken it all away. So much had changed, and he had learned that Peter wasn’t the person he thought he was. Neither was John, but it didn’t matter.

No matter how much had changed, no matter how much they had changed, they were together. They had done more than just survive. For the first time, John felt they were truly living, and it was a life he wanted to share with their daughter. With Anya.

“It suits her,” he said, looking over at the window as snow began to fall from the overcast sky. “Peter! Look.”

The Alpha smiled wide, looking back at John. “Look at that. Snow for Christmas.”

“Christmas?” John’s eyes widened. “Oh…I guess I forgot.”

“We’ve had a lot on our minds,” Peter said with a laugh. “But you just gave me the best Christmas present ever, so I’m gonna need a while to come up with something.”

John smiled. “I have everything I’ve ever wanted.” And then some.