John had been in plenty of tense situations in his life. His career was based on doing the shit that other people were afraid to do, uncovering those uncomfortable truths, and presenting them to the people who wanted to hear them the least. None of it had quite prepared him for sitting in that doctor’s office while Peter watched the other Alpha’s every move like he was ready to pounce if he stuck the needle in the wrong way.

The blood test was over in a matter of minutes, and John was fairly certain it hurt his mate more than it hurt him. He didn’t care. He just wanted to know if the baby was healthy. To know if he had another month he could convince Peter to just wait and see and hope.

After everything that had happened, he understood why hope was too tall of an order for the Alpha. He would just have to have enough of it for both of them, and he did. This baby was the one thing that had gotten him through his time with Lake, the one thing that made the fighting and distance that had entered his relationship with Peter possible to tolerate without breaking down.

It killed him to know that Peter didn’t want this the way he did, even though he understood. John had to protect their baby, and Peter had to protect him. In his mind, the two were at odds, and maybe he was right. The doctor certainly seemed to think so, but John had been through too much to protect this child to turn back now.

He couldn’t. He’d never thought being a parent was on his radar, and certainly not now, but there were days when the baby and Peter were all that kept him going. The more strained his relationship with the Alpha became, the more he retreated into the dreams of the future he’d never even considered before.

The night before had changed something. He had to believe it had, even if he couldn’t yet see the evidence. Even if Peter’s energy had taken on that guarded edge that had become normal as soon as they’d walked into the doctor’s office and signed in. He had to believe that hearing their baby’s heartbeat and seeing that blurry gray image on the screen wold mean something. That it would give the Alpha a glimpse of the future he could see so clearly.

He knew Peter could only see the risk, the sickness, the pain this pregnancy was causing his mate. He could only see John and he didn’t want to widen his perspective beyond that, but he was here.

He’d come, like he promised, and he was quiet but John could tell he was listening as the doctor spoke.

“You seem to be doing better,” the doctor said, looking him over. “Over the last few weeks, your white blood cell count has remained closer to the range we’d like to see, which I believe is an indication that the drugs are working.”

“They’re bad for his liver,” Peter muttered. “I read about it in the literature.”

“That’s true, in long-term case studies,” the doctor answered. She was blunt, but kind. Peter seemed to respect her, while he’d shown nothing but disdain for the last one. John had humored him and switched over. Anything to make this easier for him, anything to remove the unnecessary obstacles in their path and help him see the end goal clearer. The way John saw it. “Fortunately, John was already very healthy before the pregnancy, and he’s not a heavy drinker, so as long as he’s being monitored with regular bloodwork, the risk is moderate.”

“It’s still a risk.” Peter’s tone was flat, but John had only gotten him to promise to attend the appointment, not to be civil.

“Yes,” the doctor agreed. “There is always a risk.”

“Can we see the baby?” John asked, eager to move on. The doctor nodded, taking out a bottle of clear serum that was supposedly warm, according to the label. As soon as it hit his belly, it was room temperature at best, but he was too focused on the screen to care. The black space lit up with a gray-and-black image as the doctor moved the wand. The baby had been hard to identify without her pointing it out before, but now, he recognized it immediately .

His heart swelled as he watched the screen, the soft, rhythmic whoosh of the baby’s heartbeat pumping out through the monitor. It was so much faster than his own heartbeat. Pit-pat, pit-pat.

Possessiveness and love washed over him, covering the pain. In the three months he’d been home, this was the first time he had truly felt like himself. He had a mission. Something to protect and love and guard. Even if that mission pitted him against the man he loved most, his soulmate and his protector, he wasn’t going to give in.

He was never going to give up on his child. Maybe Peter couldn’t see it now, through the fear of losing his mate, but John could. He knew that one day, the Alpha would understand. That one day, he would feel this same love and drive to protect their child and if John wavered now, it would be a betrayal of both of them.

When he finally looked Peter’s way and saw the way the Alpha was looking at the screen, he felt a glimmer of hope he hadn’t had in so very long. Peter swallowed hard, frowning but not blinking. He was listening, watching, coming to the same realization John had.

He hoped. God, he hoped.

“The baby looks healthy,” the doctor said, wiping off the gel on John’s stomach. She looked between John and Peter, clearly hesitant. “Would you like to know the sex?”

John’s heart leaped. “Yes.”

“No,” Peter said just as quickly.

John frowned. He knew the reason behind his mate’s refusal, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I do,” he said, his teeth gritted.

Peter pulled the door open, stalking out of the room. It slammed shut and another piece of John’s heart broke off. He swallowed his pain and turned back to the doctor, sitting up. “I’d like to know,” he said quietly.

“You’re having a girl,” the doctor answered, her expression pitying. “I didn’t want to say this in front of your mate, but at this point, despite the improvements your health has made, delivery is the biggest challenge. You will have to have a caesarian, of course, but the anesthesia is going to be hard on your liver in conjunction with the drugs you’re taking.”

“So we’ll do it with local,” said John. It couldn’t be any worse than what Lake had done to him.

“That’s certainly an option, but there is something else I want you to consider. I know your plan is to carry this pregnancy to term, but if we induced labor early, it would significantly reduce the chance of complications.”

“How early?” John asked warily.

“Seven and a half months, to minimize the risk to both of you.”

“That’s next month,” he protested.

“I know. I just want you to consider it.”

He reluctantly nodded, taking the picture of the ultrasound she offered to him. He didn’t want to cause any more strife, so he tucked it into his pocket and went out to the car Peter had already pulled up outside the building.

The Alpha said nothing when he got in and John told himself for the hundredth time that morning not to take it personally. It was getting harder every day, especially now that he had no reason to hope that getting to see the sonogram and hear the baby’s heartbeat would actually change his mind.