“How about mashed peas?” I held up a bowl to Flick, and she just laughed. I chuckled. “Mashed peas it is.”

“Ma!” Flick shrieked.

“No, I’m Dada. Mom isn’t here right now.” I checked my watch. “But she should be soon. Hopefully she’ll get to see you before you go to bed.”

I knew Emmalin would be at the cabin after the trial. When I first opened that door, and stepped in and saw her standing there, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I needed her. I needed to touch her, I needed to hold her, and tell her how much she meant to me, until my voice was hoarse.

We fucked all night. But, it wasn’t just fucking. It was pure love. I fucked her with all my love so that there wasn’t ever a chance she could doubt me, or us. That night, I couldn’t stop fucking her if I wanted to.

If she left my side for more than three minutes, I was already up looking for her. I felt completely primal for her, and she gave everything right back to me.

When she laughed, I reveled in it. When she cried, I licked away each tear, and ensured her, we were okay.

Even though she said she was happy, and I believed her, I couldn’t help but feel there was still a piece of her she wasn’t giving me.

---

Unfortunately, Emmalin wasn’t home in time to see Flick. She said we were fine, but something’s off. It was a quarter to ten before Emmalin walked in. I wanted to be pissed at her, but I also knew I really had no right to do that.

“Hey, everything okay?”

She smiled, which was absolutely fake. “Yeah, sorry I’m late.” I watched as she hung her coat up.

“Well, let me warm you up some dinner. Have you eaten?” I was halfway to the kitchen before she stopped me.

“You know I think I’m just going to shower and go to bed. I’m kind of tired.” I watched as she crossed her arms and headed to our room. Give her time, I kept telling myself. She just needs time.

I got into bed, turned on the TV, and flipped mindlessly through the channels. I heard a phone ring, looked around, and spotted Emmalin’s bag. The ringing stopped. I went back to channel surfing. Ten seconds later, her phone rang again, and I got up to get her bag. Emmalin carried so much shit, it took a while to dig her phone out.

I checked the phone, turns out it wasn’t a phone call, but an alarm she had set. I turned it off and placed it back into her bag, along with the other crap I took out, which consisted of her diabetic supplies, a pair of baby socks, a bib, and a bag of toddler puffs. The folded papers she had fell on the floor. As I gathered them, the words on one of the pages caught my eye. I scanned it over, then opened the next two.

What the fuck?

I told myself to wait until she was out of the shower. That waiting lasted all of two seconds before I barged in the bathroom.

She glanced at me startled. “Hey. I’m about done if you need to get in.”

Fuck yeah, I needed to get in. I walked in, still fully clothed, and she looked at me strangely. “What are you…?” I held my hand up stopping her. I noticed how she dropped her arms in front of her, like she was trying to conceal herself. I looked her up and down; her breasts were bigger and my eyes took in her stomach. She was still flat, but there was definitely more softness.

How had I not seen this? Have I really been this fucking blind, I didn't even notice the changes with my wife? Have I been so focused on everything else we've had going on, that I missed this? I know Emmalin's body better than she does, and yet I still managed to fail her. I failed us.

“Grayson, what are you doing?”

I hesitantly placed my hand on her stomach, and she flinched. I finally glanced up at her. “Are you pregnant?” She quickly diverted her eyes and I grabbed her chin so she had to look at me. “Emmalin. Are you pregnant?”

Her shoulders slumped and she finally nodded. I looked back down at her stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She tried looking away again, but I held her firm. She took a deep breath. “You’re busy, and…”

I cut her off. “I’m not that busy for my wife to tell me she’s pregnant!” My voice came out harder than it should. “How far along are you?”

“Just a few months,” she whispered.

“Did you know at the hearing?

She slowly nodded. “I found out a few days before that.”

“Fuck, Emmalin! That night, I used your body and stretched you to your limits. I could’ve hurt you! I could’ve hurt our baby.” She turned, shut the water off, and got out. I took the rest of my clothes off and left them in the shower. Exiting the shower, I grabbed a towel. Emmalin was already in our room, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You didn’t hurt me,” she whispered. “I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t know if you wanted another baby. You already have one coming and…”

“So, you were going to what? Get rid of it before I even found out?” Her eyes shot up. I shut my eyes briefly. "I saw the pamphlets in your bag." I pointed to her bag in the corner. "Do you not...do you not want this? You want to end it?"

“I didn’t decide on anything!” She stood up, her hands bawled into fists, as if she was ready for battle. She was always ready for battle. “Dammit Grayson, I’m trying here. I really am, but do you know how hard it is to see you go to doctor’s appointments with her? Our marriage will always have three people in it. It’s almost like I have to share you!” She grabbed a pair of pajamas out the drawer and got dressed. I stood there like a fucking idiot, because I didn’t know what to say. She was right. She turned to face me. “I don’t want to abort our baby. I never did. It was merely a question.”

A question that I sure as fuck didn’t like. The fact that she even had this question in her head pissed me off. I studied her. She was struggling with all of this. We were struggling, but no matter what, it would always be a hit for her, for the rest of our lives. “What can I do to make this easier for you?” I whispered.

She turned and glared at me before finally shrugging. “I guess I’ll have to eventually get over it. Because, that’s what I do, right? I adapt. Just like how I adapted with Carmen and Lydia…and now this. I always end up having to adapt, don’t I?”

She walked out of the room, not taking another glance at me. I grimaced at the name Carmen coming out of her mouth. Carmen was my supposed first love. The woman I thought I had married when I was much younger, and supposedly died in a car accident. Supposedly is right, when I discovered her very much alive a few years ago. Her, and her uncle Dale, had been scheming against me for years, and clearly their plan failed. Lydia, Carmen’s twin sister, was caught in the middle of it. I sighed, as I ran my hand through my hair. She was right. All of my problems always ended up affecting us both, and each time Emmalin accommodated, even if it killed her to do it.