17

LEVI

I risk my life to save people. Save homes. And I don't know if I can save my own family and my own home. I was so focused on getting it right with Brynn, on building this thing with her the right way, I might have been doing it wrong.

Why the fuck didn't I just bring her home with us?

“Get out of your head, bro. Not the time for this.” Hunter's hand is heavy on my shoulder and I nod.

We're heading to a call, a fire at a brownstone not too far from my place. It's the second fire today and my third call in the past five hours. Being on call is my least favorite shift to pull; I rather work four straight twelves, save a ton of lives and go home to my girls for a few days. Since I royally screwed up, again, I don't think my girls want me home.

Besides Brynn having to walk in to our house and find Isabel there, I hated her being around my daughter. Amelia was smart and even at eight months old, she had a good sense of people. My nugget loved our family, Finn and Cage, Gigi and Charli and adored Hunter, Lola and baby Ford. In fact, I think that little boy stole my nugget's heart.

Never did she get fussy around new people or throw fits if someone wanted to hold her or show her affection. Amelia is a loving baby who lives for that shit. Cage's mother Gwen had bonded with her, which should come as no surprise. But, so did our neighbors Megan and Jess. Everyone loved our daughter and she loved everyone. Until Isabel walked through our door.

That night I foolishly let her stay for dinner had made up my mind. Amelia fussed because she missed Brynn, of course. It was more than that. My tiny, loving, precious little Princess did not like her own birth mother. Isabel had stopped by once more, threatening again to take her from me if I didn't want to work things out.

“How about we prove her wrong, huh Princess?” I'd asked my nugget just after Isabel's first visit; while I swabbed her mouth and then my own for a DNA test.

Stiles, one of my cop buddies, was banging the pathologist and promised a quick turnaround. In my bones, I thought she was mine. Amelia made the same faces, had the same eyes, slept the same way, and loved the shit out of Brynn. We were like the same person. But, it would change nothing if she wasn't genetically mine. Amelia was my Princess, end of story.

“Get focused, bro. Shake that shit off. Deal with it later. Brynn will be there later. We picked good women this time. They will let us fuck up and fix it. Your family will be there, Levi.” I know he's right, and I do try to shake it off.

We all climb off the truck before it even stops at the curb, Cage taking lead with the hoses while Finn does a quick perimeter check. Hunter gives me a look and I nod, both of us heading right for the blaze. It's a four-story building, the top two billowing smoke from the windows. Tenants flood the street and Mason, our newest addition to the team, leads them away from the fire. Neighbors are on the streets watching, and he and Finn have to clear the area.

“Head in the game, Holt.” Hunter calls through the mic that fills the heavy helmet, my mask fogging briefly as I nod.

“Head's in it, Byrne.” I call back as we climb the stairs to locate the source of the fire.

The heat curls around us as we reach the second floor, smoke hanging over our heads. Some doors are wide open, and we shout in every single one. Those that aren't, we kick open, calling for tenants to evacuate. At the end of the hall, the heat increases and we share a look before climbing another flight of stairs. It's so hot at the next landing, the paint is coming off the walls in curls of fiery grays and whites.

“Coming from that corner apartment. Work our way towards it.” I nod again, following his lead.

I can hear Cage and Finn outside, and through our headsets, working the hoses and calling for another truck and some busses. I didn't think it was that bad, and the tenants seemed to have cleared out. But, I’m in the thick of it, so I refocus. I kick in one door and the blowback pushes me back, but no flames curl out. The next door, is bending to the will of the fire and before I can reach it, it bursts outward.

I hear it then. A little, choked cry. A baby. Goddamn it, a baby!

“Hunter. Someone's in this one.” I rush in without waiting, just thinking about getting to that baby.

Thinking about Amelia. About Brynn. About what I would do if it were them. I feel focused, but two steps in and I realize I'm not. I am dizzy, the heat burning my eyes and smoke filling my lungs. I realize my respirator isn't functioning. And the third step reminds me I am still really just a rookie. The floor is too soft. Too forgiving beneath my step.

“Levi!” I hear Hunter, but his voice seems so far away. Above me almost.

And I realize I'm falling. My feet come out from under me, and I expect to hit the floor beneath me. But, the floor is gone. I'm aware of heat and smoke and burning. I see ash and flames as I plummet through burnt beams pipes, feeling the ruined floor grabbing at my gear, leaving me hanging for a moment. Then I crash to the floor beneath me, my left leg caught on something for a moment. Pain shoots up my back when I finally fall through completely, crashing to the smoked-out room beneath me.

I can't breathe and I can't see and yet, I hear that baby. I hear a rush of noise, the whooshing, crackling sound of flames and I look up. I see a dark shadow and am afraid it's Hunter coming crashing down after me. It's gone when I blink, my chest pumping for air, hands scrambling for my respirator. I just hear the soothing whir of it breathing life into my lungs when I hear it. The splintering sound of wood; I look up as the fire creeps down through the hole above me, like it's reaching out for me.

As the smoke thickens and I grow dizzy, lungs aching and eyes burning, I see her. Brynn. With Amelia. My tiny baby is safe in her arms, and fuck, she looks so happy, and so much like me and Brynn. They're looking at me with love and it makes my chest ache more than breathing fiery ash. I love them more than life itself. Would do anything for them. Give them anything.

The image wavers in the smoky haze and Amelia grows. Crawling, laughing, talking right in front of my eyes. Until she's a small child; arms wound around Brynn's thigh, her hair in bouncing curls. They don't look as happy. Sad, even. I don't see that love in their eyes, and I know it's because I left them. I lost my focus and risked myself. And, I know I can't do that to them. That part of doing anything for them means being safe, and getting my ass home to them.

“I'm coming home girls. I'm coming home. Home to my Princess. My queen.”

Slowly the image wavers and the last thing I see is the whole world crashing in on me.

Used to love being cold. Kept my place icy cold, never higher than sixty-degrees. I loved winter and even the first few months of spring. Seems I am not a fan anymore. After months of having either Brynn's soft, warm body wrapped around me, or Amelia climbing all over me—sometimes both—I hate the cold. It stings my skin and makes it hard to breathe.

I want the warmth of Brynn's peppermint-peony smell crowding me, soothing me. All that soft, thick, melon smelling hair

Instead, I am freezing. My chest feels tight; and weirdly enough it burns, my throat is on fire, my legs feel like they've been set ablaze, but I am absolutely frozen. I blink my eyes open, expecting to see fire and destruction all around. Instead of heat and ash, I see bright white everywhere I can move my eyes. Which, let me tell you, is a fucking task for some reason.

I try to speak to the shadowy figures I see just a few feet away. I try to move. To lift my head, but I can't. I panic, trying to wiggle my toes and fingers. This sends pain rocketing through me, but shit, at least I can move them. Feel them. I try to cough to clear the scratching burn in my throat, and I gag.

“Oh shit!” Finn's unmistakable booming growl makes my eyes pop back open.

“Whe-re.... Brynn. Get....get my girl.” I somehow manage beyond the choking pain as I gag again.

“Calm down. Nurse! Hey, yo', Nurse!” Those shadows break apart and Finn steps into my line of vision.

I'm able to focus for just a few seconds. I see he's got a bandage around his left arm and he's covered in soot. I try to look to my other side, where I see another shadow take form. I squint, thinking I see the someone who looks like Cage; only, he's pale as hell and his always smiling eyes are dark and stormy. I briefly wonder where the fuck Hunter is. Before I can ask, I'm pulled back under the smoke and flames and freezing cold.

It's dark in the room when I wake next. I'm still fucking cold, my nose feels like I just walked my miserable ass through Chicago. My chest feels like it’s going to explode and the moment I open my eyes, they burn, and my vision blurs as they water. I don't gag this time. I realize I am thirsty as shit. It hurts to move but I lift my head, looking. Searching.

Hoping to find to find fiery red hair and bright jade eyes.

“Get my girl. Get my girl. Where's my girls?” I look around in panic, unable to focus on the shadowy figures just a few feet away.

“Hey, bro,” Cage answers this time and I feel like he somehow manages to calm me that easily, “Calm down. My wife is getting your girls. What can we do? What do you need? You in pain? Remember anything?” Cage looks almost normal now as he comes to my left side and I shake my head.

“No. I fell. I fell...where's.... where’s Hunter? What...am I okay? Where the fuck are my girls?” I realize I'm crying like an idiot when I finish my questions, but I don't care and I don't think Cage would judge me anyway.

“Hunter is down the hall. He is okay. You are okay. Broke your left leg this time, idiot. Tell me what you remember.” I shake my head, closing my eyes and trying to grasp at the pieces to fit together a memory.

“Can't remember shit. Kicking a door in. Hearing a baby. A baby! Did we get her out?” I push at the bed, trying to sit up as I wonder how bad I fucked up.

“We got everyone out Levi. You saved two lives today, man. They were cornered in a back room. A baby and her mother. No one else heard them crying. Not even Hunter. He went after you but...like an idiot you fell through the fucking floor.” Cage laughs a little but it dies fast and he looks sad again.

“My fucking...my stupid fucking respirator. I didn't suit up right. I lost my focus. Again. Jesus, I could have gotten Hunter killed. How is he? Is he really okay?” Each word scrapes out of my throat, but they're less painful the more we talk.

“He's fine, Levi. He got some smoke inhalation; wouldn't leave till he cleared the apartment and you got taken out. Few second degree burns from blowback when he kept kicking doors in. He's a big beast of a man, he's fine.” My eyes close with a nod because I've seen Hunter take some scrapes, but never because of me.

“So fucking stupid. I wasn't focused. Where is my girl?” I ask again, wondering why the hell she isn't here, if she maybe won't come at all.

“Charli is coming with her soon. Brynn was...” Cage sighs and breaks off, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Cage...what? What the fuck?” I hear the door open but I don't look away as panic crashes over me, making me nauseous.

“Brynn was almost hysterical. Gigi got to her first, Lola was already on her way here, for Hunter. The girls...none of them like to get that call, you know? They didn't know how bad it was. I think...we think she thought the worst. Brynn kind of lost her shit; Charli had to go do what Charli does best.” I wince, tipping my head back as hot, remorseful tears burn my eyes.

“We fought. Right before...right before I left we fought. Over that fucking....” I hear the heels click on the tile and somehow, I know...I just know it's her.

“Over little ole' me, I'm guessing?” Isabel's voice holds snark and triumph and if I could lift my limbs from the Goddamn bed, she'd be the next one needing a hospital bed.

“What. The. Fuck. Are you doing here?” The words tear out of my chest, vibrating with rage and hate.

“Oh, baby. They called your wife.” Isabel comes to the opposite side of the bed, a smirk on her cherry red painted lips.

“You need to go. Like now. If you are here when his girl gets here, it won't just be her you need to worry about, Isabel.” Cage is a mild-mannered guy, for the most part. I am shocked at the level of rage rattling through his words as he leans over the bed to spit the threat in her face.

“Are you threatening me, handsome?” I see her hand come out, the red tipped nails heading for his face and I cringe.

“Do one handed whores give quality hand jobs, Isabel? Touch my husband, think we might find out.” Isabel's hand drops in midway between them as her head whips towards the door.

I want to laugh; it bubbles in my chest but that shit hurts too. Charli is sweet as pie, but we have all learned better than to cross her. However, those who are not in the know provide grade-a entertainment when they put a toe over her line. I can feel the room shift as the three women enter it. I can sense the anger, the resentment, the absolute rage. But, I can also sense her.

Brynn is there and I don't need to see her to feel her presence.

“Jesus, the mouth on you girls.” Isabel laughs but I hear it; the tremble of doubt and fear in her voice.

“Pot hello kettle.” Gigi growls from somewhere, and I can just picture the three of them standing there like Charli's Angels. I almost laugh, but it hurts.

Brynn is at my side, dismissing Isabel as she leans over me. I try to reach for her, but can barely lift my arms. We're both crying as she presses close, right in front of our friends and my ex-wife and touches her forehead to mine. I lift my arm enough to tangle my hand in her thick hair, lifting my dry lips to graze them over hers.

“I love you. I love you, baby.” Brynn whispers before letting me kiss her slow and sweet. Slowly, she lifts and the fear that was there seconds ago is gone. Fire and heat and rage are there and I wince when her eyes slide across the way to pin Isabel down.

“I suggest you go. Stay gone. Out of my fucking sight. Away from our home. Away from my family. Preferably, out of my fucking city. Threaten me or Levi again about taking our daughter, about fighting a battle I promise,” Brynn spits the word out with icy malice and I think my dick gets hard, “I promise you, you will lose, and you will regret it.” Isabel's mask of indifference cracks and she sighs, blowing it out towards the skies.

“Sounds like it's you making the threats, honey. I have a right to my daughter. To my husband.” I cringe when she smiles sweetly, wondering how I ever thought we could work.

“My daughter. My husband. Been through this, Isabel. I don't make threats. I promised, and those, I don't break. Like I promised my daughter to love, provide and protect her. You know absolutely nothing about how to care for others. No one who held that precious little girl and loved her could ever walk away from her. Don't tell me you came back for anyone other than yourself.” Isabel sucks her teeth, crossing her arms beneath her big, fake tits, and glaring.

“Then tell me why you think I'm here, Miss know-it-all?”

“Because whomever you left with, wherever you went to fell apart. Like it always has and like it always will. You will forever be in a constant state of upheaval because you cannot love anyone else as much as you love yourself. I'm not even judging you for that, Isabel. It's petty and self-serving, but it's probably not even your fault,” Brynn sighs and bows her head sadly, and Jesus Christ, could she be any more perfect?

“You can't ask that little girl to come second. Not when we will always put her first. Sometimes it's better to walk away and close a door you know you will always try to keep open for the wrong reasons.” All eyes turn to Isabel and I can feel the moment her stony facade cracks.

Oh, she doesn't warm up, or agree, but her shoulders go back a little, and I see the tiny tremble in her jaw. But, in true Isabel fashion, she has to be the one to make the decision.

“You are exhausting. This has been exhausting. Fine. Take me off your emergency contact list, husband.” And just like that, my queen cut off the head of my past.

Brynn watches her go, those jade eyes fiery and I know my dick gets hard now. I tug as hard as I can manage at her neck, bringing her lips back to mine. When she lifts away, I am in pain but happy as fuck, and she's breathless and smiling. I love that smile. With those bright eyes and her freckles and those perfect pink lips. Jesus.

“I love the fuck out of you, honey.” I whisper, not even caring that we're not alone.

“Love you more, baby.” Our look grows heavy and I wonder if the others are uncomfortable. I don't care, they're the ones watching like some perverts.

“How about we give them a moment, uh?” Charli clears her throat and I grin, searching for her and tossing her a wink.

“Think I need more than a minute. Cage must be slipping if you think that's all it takes, Charli Doll.” I hear two sets of laughs, Gigi and Charli, and then a string of curses from Cage.

“Fuck you, broseph.” I beam a smile at him, knowing his bro-terms are usually reserved for Finn. Guess nearly dying might have upgraded me.

Just then I think of Amelia; I want to see my Princess.

“Where's our nugget?” I manage, realizing I am exhausted, the whole Isabel visit draining me.

“Finn has her down the hall with Lola and Ford. Want me to get her?” Slowly those pretty eyes trail over me, sadness darkening them and I wonder how bad I look.

“Brynn. Baby I am ok. Actually....I don't know how hurt I am. I can't remember much and I didn't ask. I just asked for my girls.” Brynn shifts, lying her entire upper half alongside mine, being very gentle.

“And here we are. I was so scared, Levi,” Brynn presses her face into my neck and I lift an arm to hold her close, “scared the last moment I had with you, I ruined. I was so stupid. Again. I make bad choices, I don't think I deserve you or Amelia. But I want you both. More than anything, I want my king and our Princess and the fairytale. I want it all.” We're kissing without either of us really moving and it fucking hurts, but it hurts so good.

“Let's not have moments like that again. Let's promise even if we have more dragons to slay, we do it together. We always say how much we love each other, we never go to bed angry, and we always tell our daughter how special she is. How she made us a family when we didn't even know what that really meant.” Brynn sobs and it hurts my soul; I don't even notice the pain when she shoves into the bed beside me, her arms closing tight around me.

“I promise. I will never let our little girl question how special a Princess she is. Amelia made us a family.” I nod, gathering her close as I begin to go woozy, although I fight it.

“I think I got it wrong, honey. It was you.” My eyes are heavy and I'm warm all over for the first time since this started. I fight to stay awake, wanting to be sure she's okay, wanting to have my girls there with me.

“Wrong about what, Levi?” Brynn's voice is warm at my ear and I feel that warmth spread and I smile into her cheek.

“You slayed the dragons. You built our castle. With your fucked-up bricks and mine. You made me your king. You gave us the fairytale, Brynn. It was you.”

I got my queen and my Princess, but it was because Brynn gave them to me. Brynn had made the fairytale so fucking real.