Chapter 19 Now
I offered to pick Evie, and Gabriel up for dinner, but after I kissed her, things have kind of reverted back to being awkward again. I knew it was too soon, and I knew it was a bad idea, but holding her face in my hands, looking into her eyes, it was like the feelings had never left. She was still my best friend. The girl who came to me crying, and let me wipe away her tears. The girl who unbeknownst to her, had always held my heart.
And now, we were about to sit down for dinner with the only other people who knew the whole truth. Wes, and Zoe, knew exactly what Evie meant to me, right down to my wanting to leave the army to start a life with her. I had my reasons for not telling her then, and I had even more reason not to tell her now. I didn't want her thinking it was some kind of ploy to make her stay. I'd already asked her once, and I didn't want her to feel manipulated.
My plan was to get there early to give my sister, and Wes, a heads up. A little list of things not to say, if you will, but that plan quickly back fired. Evie's car was already parked in the driveway, and it was empty. Who knows how long she, and Gabriel have already been inside. I only hoped my sister would be distracted by Gabriel enough, not to dive into mine, and Evie's relationship.
Zoe meant well, but sometimes, things were just better left alone, and unsaid. But if you've met my sister, you'd know keeping things unsaid wasn't exactly her forte. It was one of the reasons she and I clashed so much, but it was also the reason that Wes, the king of hooking up, and forgetting names, was able to fall for her. They balanced each other out, much like Evie and I used to. I only hoped that I could bask in their post honeymoon bliss, instead of being envious of if.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door, before letting myself inside. “Hello!” I called out, not seeing anyone in the living room.
“We're in the kitchen!” Zoe called back.
I plastered on a smile, as I rounded the corner. Seeing Zoe, and Evie working together in the kitchen, while Gabriel ran around between them with his cars kept it there. I didn't need to fake my happiness, to try and push through this seemingly awkward dinner. Just seeing my son made me realize everything was going to be alright, no matter the outcome.
“How was Hawaii?” I asked, pulling my sister into my arms for hug.
“Wonderful!” She gushed, pulling away. “And you? You're a father! What about that?”
“He's perfect isn't he.” I said, my eyes beginning to water.
“Oh Jake.” Zoe crooned, pulling me back for another hug. “Fatherhood looks good on you.”
I laughed, brushing her off, and catching Evie's eye as I did so. I noticed the tears in her eyes as well, but she quickly swiped them away before anyone noticed. The awkward feeling that I feared from Evie was evident, so instead of approaching her, I squatted down, opening my arms to Gabriel. He ran to me instantly, giving me a tight squeeze. “Hey buddy, you wanna go outside and check on Uncle Wes?” I asked. When he responded with an enthusiastic nod, I scooped him up, silently checking for Evie's approval before taking him out the back door.
“Hey brother!” Wes said in greeting, before passing me a beer. “And little brother.” He teased, ruffling my boy's head.
I set Gabriel down, and he went straight for the swing a few feet away from the grill. “Swing daddy!” He called out, so I followed him over, sitting down beside him, and cracking open my beer. Using my feet I rocked us slowly, and Gabriel squealed with delight.
“How's it feel to be home?” I asked.
“I know Zoe loved Hawaii, but brother, it feels damn good to be home. My bed never felt so damn good. What about you? Zoe said you were putting the house on the market?”
“I don't know. Since I found out about Gabriel here, I just, my head hasn't been on the job.”
“That's because you have something else to live for. Something else to drive you.”
“When she left, I poured everything into my career. I got promoted faster than anyone, I took the jobs that no one wanted, I purposely risked my life, looking for that drive. And now.. when I think about deploying on some special op in the middle of no where, it terrifies me. Me.” I laughed. “What does that make me?”
“A father.” He said simply, as he opened the grill to flip the burgers. “The army was your life Jake. Now it's him.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Isn't it?”
“Things with Evie, and I, they aren't that simple. You know I'm terrible when it comes to saying the right things. I fucked things up. Again.”
“The kiss?”
“She told Zoe!?” I asked, semi shocked. “Wait, did Zoe tell you anything?”
“What are we a couple of gossiping school girls? Come on Jake. What do you think?”
“Hey boys, we're ready on our end, where's the burgers!?” Zoe asked, popping her head out the sliding door.
“Woman, I'll bring the burgers in when I'm ready.” Wes said, playfully shaking the spatula at her.
“Woman?” She shot back, stepping outside, and crossing her arms over her chest.
Wes took three purposeful steps towards her, backing her up against the door, still holding the spatula in his hand. “Woman.” He whispered, his breath against her ear. “Don't make me spank you in front of your brother.” She giggled, opening the sliding door, and slipping away before he could make good on his promise, and I tried not to cringe. “Ready to eat boys?” He asked, quickly turning to face us, and plate the burgers.
I rolled my eyes, picking my boy up, and heading inside to get him cleaned up for dinner. After washing his hands, I helped him into his booster seat Evie brought, and sat down beside him. Gabriel was on the end, and Zoe to my right. Evie was directly across from me, and Wes from Zoe. Gabriel was the first to dig in, announcing that his food was yummy. We all laughed, as he brought his cup to his lips, washing down his bite. It was an amazing feeling, having dinner with my family. But it also hurt, knowing that Evie wasn't a part of it.
What exactly did she tell Zoe any way? Did she still have feelings for me, or was the kiss just a reaction to old feelings? Was she angry with me for crossing that line again? Before I could contemplate any further, Zoe cleared her throat.
“Jake, I want you to know that I invited Evie here early. I had a few choice words for her, and they weren't pretty. Don't worry, Wes took Gabriel out back with Rocko. I understand why she did things the way that she did, but what I don't understand, is after all these years why you two couldn't work things out.”
“Zoe-” I warned, but she held her hand up to interrupt me.
“The two of you have been fighting the inevitable for the better part of ten years.”
“Zoe, please.” I begged, but she wouldn't be stopped.
“Evie, all you ever wanted was for Jake to love you more than the army. And he did! He was ready to walk away, and start a life with you, and you just.. disappeared. I don't care if it isn't my business. I need to know why? What changed?”
Evie stood then, her eyes locked on mine. “Jake?” She asked, her breath shaky. “What is she talking about?”
Zoe's eyes widened in shock. “You mean.. you never told her?”