Chapter 18 Then
Turns out I was pretty awesome at running recon, so awesome that the general asked me to do it again. I politely turned him down. As soon as I came back from checking up on Evie, and Zoe, I was getting back in the saddle. No more sitting behind a computer. I needed to feel the sand in my boots, like I needed air to breathe. Luckily, the general understood that, and promised I'd get to lead the platoon again as soon as I was cleared.
I left the base at eight in the morning, hoping to be in Sanfrancisco before noon. I promised Zoe I would check in first, but I already knew I was breaking that promise. I was driving directly to Evie's apartment. I did what Wes said, and gave it a couple of days, but when I called, the results were the same. Lines were disconnected, and social media accounts were deleted. I had no other choice but to track her down, and confront her.
I drove faster than I should have, and only stopped once to grab a bite to eat. The minute I saw the sign welcoming me to San Franscisco, I pulled out my cell and dialed Zoe. No sense in making her wonder, or worry. Besides, I could tell by the tone of her voice that she didn't expect any different. I had about a half hours drive to Evie's place, so I blasted the radio, put the windows down, and tried to think about what I was going to say.
She was going to be pissed, that I just came by without asking her first. But hell, I was pissed that she cut herself off from the world without any rhyme or reason. If you asked me, we were even. I'd make her understand, we'd fight for a little while, and with any luck we'd be watching a corny movie an hour later. Evie never could stay mad me, and I smiled thinking about that.
I pulled up in front of Evie's apartment building, and put my truck into park. I was nervous, and I had no idea why. My palms were sweating, which never happened, not even when I was in a sticky situation. Shaking the nerves, I locked my doors upon exiting, and made my way to the lobby. Her apartment was on the second floor, and I took the stairs up. When I finally reached her door, I gave it a few strong knocks, and waited.
When she didn't answer, I tried again, a little louder this time. And when she still didn't answer, I banged on the door with enough force to scare the neighbor. The man poked his head out from his door glaring at me. “You tryin to wake the whole damn neighborhood son!” He yelled out.
“I'm sorry.” I said, with an apologetic smile. “I'm just worried about my friend. Her name's Evangeline Perez, do you know her?”
“Yea. Pretty girl. Keeps to herself. She moved out a week or so ago.” He said.
“Moved out?” I asked, to no one in particular. “Did she leave a forwarding address?”
“What do I look like the damn landlord?!” He asked, his anger rising. “All I know, is she and some good lookin boy loaded up a uhaul, and took off.”
“Do you know where I can find the landlord?” I asked, still clinging to some kind of hope.
“He's on vacation til Tuesday. I can give you the number if you want.”
“Yea. Thanks.” I said, feeling that last bit of hope dwindling away. Why would she just up, and move without so much as a text message? I took the scrap of paper Evie's old neighbor had given me, and tucked it into my pocket. When I got back inside my car, I dialed the number. It went to straight to voice mail, so I left a message. Feeling defeated, I drove home to find Zoe.
She was sitting at the kitchen table, doing some prep work for her new classroom. It was her first year teaching, and she was determined to do a great job. “Hey Zo.” I said, tossing my bag on the floor. Her response was a wide smile, followed by a hug. “You look good.” She said. “On the mend. Did you talk to Evie?”
“She's gone.” I said with wonder.
“What do you mean gone?”
“I don't know. Her neighbor said she moved out about a week ago with some good looking guy. His words not mine. It's just not like her to leave without saying anything to anyone. I mean I know she didn't have any family, but she had me, she had us. Are you sure she didn't mention anything to you?” I asked, grasping at straws.
“Jake. If Evie had reached out, I wouldn't keep it from you. I know how close you two are.”
“Yea. I guess I already knew that. I'm sorry Zoe.”
“You know everyone. I'm sure there's someone who can track her down?”
“Maybe she met someone Zo. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, and we made peace with the fact that we just weren't meant to be together. There were too many outside forces. She deserves to be happy.”
“You made her happy Jake. She told me that.”
“Yeah well, it wasn't enough, and me tracking her down like some kind of psycho stalker, isn't going to bring her home.”
“I'll reach out. Email her? At least then we'll know she's safe. Alright?”
“Yeah, thanks Zo.” I said, grabbing my bag, and climbing up the stairs to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me, and pulled my safe out from under my bed. There wasn't much in it, a few of my mother's favorite knick-knacks, my birth certificate, car titles, the usual. Except, it also held a ring.
The night that Evie and I talked about what our relationship meant, and I asked if she wanted a commitment, I already knew that I wanted one. My mother left me her wedding ring, and I knew without a shadow of doubt that one day it would belong to Evie. I wanted to experience army life, to see what it, and the world had to offer. I never imagined falling for my best friend. I also never imagined that I'd be willing to walk away from the army for her, but that was exactly what I was planning to do.
I wanted to finish out my time, and when it was time to re up, I was going to walk. I didn't tell anyone, not Wes, not Zoe, and especially not Evie. I didn't want her to feel pressured. If she said no, I didn't want her feeling like she'd forced me out of my career. I thought I had time. I wanted her to finish her MD, and give us time to grow, to do what we loved, so that when we were done, we could start our new lives together.
Maybe I was delusional to think that she might want the same things. Or, maybe I was just a dumb ass who should have admitted his feelings sooner. It was clear that she'd moved on, and all I could do now was be happy for her. I spun the ring around in my hand, watching it sparkle in the light, and I thought what the fuck did you do Cruz?
Slamming the safe shut, I shoved it under my bed violently. The sound of it hitting the drywall, momentarily satisfying my anger. It felt good, so I started grabbing things off my dresser, and chucking them at the same wall. Every crash, felt like a kick in the chest, but I couldn't stop. I pulled the drawers out, clothing strewn on the floor all around me. Next came the dresser itself, crashing down onto the wooden floor.
I heard Zoe's voice then, calling my name, as she banged on the door. I ignored her, making my way towards the closet. I pulled the door open, and began ripping clothes from their hangers, stepping over the mess until I was deep inside the walk in. It was there, covered with a dark sheet, that I found my parents wedding picture. I dropped down to my knees, and cried. I cried for my parents, and I cried for Evie. It was something I had never let myself do, and there was something about it that was..freeing.
The click of my bedroom door, made my head snap up, and when Zoe climbed over the debris that was once my room, I winced. I hadn't meant to destroy everything, but it was fitting in a way. My room looked, how I felt, and for that reason alone, I started to laugh.
“Jake?” Zoe asked, warily. “I don't see how any of this is funny.”
“It isn't.” I said, on a blissful sigh. “It's just incredibly ironic.”
“How so?”
“I brought this all on myself. If I were Wes, this wouldn't have happened. I'd be with a different girl every weekend, and never have to worry about heart break. I don't know the first thing about having, and keeping a realationship. So why did I try?”
“You're right about one thing Jake. You did bring this all on yourself, but it isn't because you tried. It's because you didn't.”