Chapter Ten

Josiah drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. His car was off and the Charleston heat was rapidly penetrating the windows, causing a layer of sweat to form on his forehead. Regardless of the discomfort, he sat in it, unwilling to move until he had everything sorted out.

It was silly to think anything would get solved in the increasing heat. There was no way he would be able to concentrate. It would be better to go inside, but he felt like he was hooked to his seat belt. Why was he stuck here? It was as if the belt had melted to his lap and was keeping him planted in the driver's seat, trapped in the obnoxious humidity with his cyclical thoughts.

“Come on, move.” He shook the wheel. “Well, that's a start.”

After great internal effort, he pushed open the driver's side door and greeted the mildly cooler air. It wasn't much better than the heat inside the car, but at least it wasn't stagnant. He wiped his brows and stared at his house for a good few minutes before he noticed the motorcycle sitting in front of the mailbox. His eyes slid over to the porch where he saw a figure twiddling his thumbs on a small wooden bench.

Jonathan was here.

He sighed, shoulders hunching forward as he approached.

“Well, good afternoon,” Jonathan greeted cheerfully. “You were up late last night, weren't you?”

Josiah grunted. “Yeah, I was.”

“With the prop boy, eh?”

“Yep.”

As Josiah procured his keys, Jonathan stood up from the little wooden bench and held out a paper cup. Steam rose from beneath the white cap. The label on the side indicated that it was coffee from a nearby shop. The heavenly scent reached Josiah's nostrils and prompted his stomach to growl.

“Is it really that late in the day already?” he asked rhetorically while pushing open the door.

“That's what happens when you party all night.”

“I didn't party all night for your information. I was just up a bit late.”

“Pleasuring the new boyfriend?”

Josiah released an elongated sigh. “If you must know, actually, that didn't happen at all last night.”

“Well, do tell. I'm all ears.”

Josiah tossed his keys on the coffee table and stared at the messy couch. “Shit.”

“It's a mess in here.”

“It's been a mess in here for a while now. All these props and lights are really starting to take up space. Where's Maura?” A soft mew responded from the other side of the house. He smiled wide and cried out, “Little baby!”

Within seconds, a fluffy orange cat came sprinting into the room. As soon as she reached Josiah, she rubbed against his ankle and mewed loudly with her green eyes focused only on him. Even when Jonathan extended a hand, she plumped her fluffy tail in the air and ignored him. Josiah laughed.

“She's still a bitch,” Jonathan scoffed.

“Well, so are you.”

Josiah wandered into the kitchen to tend to Maura's food and water bowls. When each was properly filled, he returned to the living room where Jonathan was messing with one of the props. It was a false knife made of rubber that lopped side to side when wiggled. Jonathan chuckled.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” Josiah commented.

“And you seem glum. What's on your mind?”

Josiah sighed. “That's irrelevant. Why in the world are you here? I don't remember having a meeting scheduled with you.”

“Actually, you told me just the other day to come in this afternoon for some close-up shots of the killer and dubbing.”

“Fuck.”

“I mean, I don't mind.”

Josiah shot Jonathan a hard look. “Shut up.”

“Sorry. It's a force of habit.”

“As you tend to be in most situations.”

Jonathan took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, practically filling the space with his expansive lung capacity. He seemed perfectly content sitting on the ragged and stained couch in grim silence, but Josiah felt uneasy. The thought of standing in the same room as his nosy ex-boyfriend while these unwarranted feelings filled his gut made him want to run. He wiped his forehead nervously.

“I don't know what to say,” he finally blurted. “I don't know.”

“About what? Just tell me what's going on. It's not like I'm going to use it against you.”

Josiah rolled his eyes angrily over to Jonathan.

“I'm not that person anymore, Jo,” Jonathan insisted. “Please. Tell me what's going on.”

While thinking, Josiah puffed his cheeks briefly and released the trapped air in a sort of frustrated huff. He rolled his shoulders a few times and fixed his blue hair, noticing that its usual style was undone. “It just feels weird talking about a current romantic thing with my previous ex, you know?”

“We've been in stranger positions, haven't we?”

“Don't remind me.”

Jonathan chuckled. “Go on. Please.”

“I feel weird ever since I left Levi's house. I feel empty.”

“Empty? How?”

“Being apart from him feels weird. When I'm around him, I'm fine. I'm actually more than fine. I'm...well, it's weird. Everything about this is odd. It feels like a totally different universe when he and I are alone.”

“Sounds like aliens.”

“That's your excuse for everything.”

Jonathan pointed at Josiah with his index finger. “Hey, they're a good excuse for a lot of things.”

“I really don't want to get into that right now.” Josiah ran his fingers through his hair. The strands felt greasy. He would need a shower soon before it became too much of a bother. “I want to know why the hell I would find him attractive now when I've been around him for years.”

“That's the mystery of life. People are weird, Jo. It's not like they're hard-wired to be the perfect fit for your everything. Sometimes they just grow into it.”

“That's an oddly articulate sentence coming from your mouth.”

Jonathan grinned. “And it's certainly strange to see you so unsure.”

Josiah ignored the playful jab and gestured for Jonathan to continue.

“Your perfect mate doesn't come from a series of formulas made on one of those useless matching websites. It's just...made. It happens. And it happens under your nose. Before you even realize it—BAM—you're attached and you don't know how it happened.”

“I don't know if I like it. I don't even know if it's appropriate to be in this situation. I mean, he seemed like he was such a great guy and when he drank, it's like this switch flipped.”

Jonathan perked up. “Did he get mean?”

“Calm down, valiant knight. He wasn't mean or harmful. He just...seemed like he didn't know...I don't know.”

“Know what?”

“It just seemed off like maybe he wasn't used to drinking.”

“So what? Has that ever stopped you from dating someone?”

Josiah frowned hard as he concentrated on his memories. “Well, no.”

“Then, what's the problem?”

“I guess maybe it's that he has a problem and I didn't notice it before. I think he's an alcoholic. I found one of those coins in his living room.”

Jonathan nodded. “Interesting.”

“And now I feel bad for getting him drunk.”

“You forced him to drink?”

“I mean, no. I just sort of egged him on, I guess. You know how I am. I want everyone to have a good time. I try to ensure that.”

“You're a huge sweetheart, Jo.”

Josiah shook his head and rubbed his arm. “I don't know. Maybe I pushed him to do something that he couldn't do. I just feel so bad.”

“Have you mentioned it to him?”

“Well, no. I just left his house maybe fifteen minutes ago. I want him to rest first before I try bringing that up.”

“You won't know till you mention it.”

Josiah frowned again. “I don't want to. I don't want to bother him now.”

“The problem isn't going to go away just because you ignore it. In fact, that would probably make things a lot worse. He's already on your crew and you've already gotten involved. I think maybe it's time you two sat down and made some boundaries or rules or whatever you kids do these days.”

“Now you just sound like a rotten old man.”

Jonathan tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe I am. Maybe that's my other personality.”

Josiah chuckled. “You're ridiculous.”

“And you're lovesick. I can still help with that, you know.”

“How the hell are you going to help with that?”

Jonathan stared for a moment without saying a word. When Josiah felt the uncomfortable sensation creep back into his gut, he gave Jonathan a stern expression.

“I thought I was clear on our boundaries,” he said firmly.

“Oh, Jo. Don't be so full of yourself. I was going to suggest a video game or some editing to get your mind off things.”

“I don't know if I believe that fully.”

Jonathan shrugged. “Believe whatever you want. It's your house.”

For some reason, this particular statement caused Josiah to break out into laughter. He hugged his gut and nearly dropped his coffee as he tried to contain himself. He felt the full force of it take over, causing his eyelids to squeeze shut and his mouth to open wide. The laugh echoed in the small living room and bounced through the house.

When he was finished, he heard Maura meowing. It seemed she was curious about the joke. She strutted into the room while licking her jowls, paws perched primly on the dingy wooden floor. Josiah knelt to pet her, still shivering with a few leftover giggles.

“I really don't see what was so hilarious,” Jonathan said.

“You. You're hilarious.”

“You don't make sense to me.”

“I mean, that's why we broke up.”

Now Jonathan laughed heartily. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, pressing his hand to his opposite shoulder as if to hold himself together. The scene caused Josiah to smile again. He wandered over to the couch and plopped down, allowing his left hand to hang over the edge of the couch for Maura. On cue, she meandered over and pressed her soft head into his fingers.

When Jonathan was done laughing, Josiah muttered, “Thanks.”

“Any time. I'm here for it.”

“You never were before.”

“Remember what I said about people growing into what you need?”

Josiah grinned. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Maybe we were always meant to be friends. We'll never know because we can't undo the past. But now we have a real bond, something we can be proud of.”

“I guess...”

Jonathan rested his hand tenderly over Josiah's. “Guessing is for philosophy. This is your reality. There are no guesses here, just tactful and intentional actions.”

“That in itself sounded philosophical.”

“I have my shining moments.”

“Well, I'm glad I could see one of them.”

“I'm glad someone notices them. Lord knows, not many people do.”

Josiah snickered. “That could be due to your difficult personality.”

“Okay, while that may be harsh, there's a hint of truth to it.”

“You're doing pretty well with my cast.”

“That's because no one wants to piss you off.”

Josiah laughed. “Why's that? I'm not a tyrant.”

“They just love you and want to please you. Much like your little prop boy. I'm sure he's thinking about you right now.”

“Well...he wouldn't be alone in that. I'm still thinking about him.”

“You know this is the part in the movies where I would tell you to go to him, right?”

The grin that took over Josiah's features made his cheeks sore. He attempted to control it, but it pushed harder to appear the more he fought against it. When he allowed it to come as it would, he turned to Jonathan. The front door opened in the same instant and there stood Levi, still looking mildly pale and destroyed from his wild evening.

“Oh,” Levi grumbled.

Josiah stared with a starry gaze. It was wishful thinking come true. Just when he was thinking about having Levi again, Levi appeared. No amount of reasoning with reality could have explained away the coincidence. Maybe it was fate.

It was then Josiah realized he and Jonathan were holding hands. The look on Levi's face had shrunk rapidly into disappointment, and the sight of it made Josiah want to explode.

Josiah popped up quickly from the couch. “Levi, it's not what you think.”

“It's fine.” Levi took a few steps away from the door. “Really, it's okay. I don't want to impose.”

“No, please stay.”

“It's fine.”

Jonathan stepped forward with his hands raised. “I can leave if you want to talk to Jo. I was on my way out anyway.”

Levi shook his head. He looked like he wanted to say more, but his body indicated a great need to retreat. It was a horrible sight. The whole encounter wreaked of illusion and misinterpretation, but Josiah knew there wouldn't be much he could say to keep Levi here. The man was already leaving.

“I'll call later,” Levi shouted as he ran for his truck.

The ordeal took place so quickly that Josiah was left standing in the center of the living room with the front door wide open and a sense of emptiness. There it was again, that emptiness. And this time it felt a little more permanent.