Chapter Eighteen
ENTERTAINMENT NEWS!
SPOTTED TOGETHER!
Dark Goddess and the president of Black Hearts, Amit Kingston.
At an amusement park, no less. I think we can confirm their relationship. I mean who else rides rollercoasters and eats hotdogs with the Dark Goddess?
RUTH
“I’m his soul food, soul food,” I sang as I got ready to leave. “He calls me his soul food, soul food.”
Good thing no one saw me this morning. I looked like a fool dancing around as I dressed. I couldn’t wait to get down to the studio and hang with the guys. My creative juices were flowing, and with the help of The Oppressors’s music I was positive I could get one final song written.
It was only when I saw Max by himself that I remembered Rupert was starting his vacation this week. The big guy deserved it but handling a newbie like Max was going to try my patience. John dropped me off at the studio and when Max started to follow me inside, I placed my hand on his shoulder, patting it lightly. “I don’t really need anyone to watch after me today since I’m going to be here at the studio.”
“Even so, I’d like to watch over you. It is what you pay me for, and I haven’t gotten many hours now that you’re no longer on tour.” He leaned in, and I arched away from him. “Between this part-time job and my other one, I kind of need these hours, if you can understand?”
Well, shit. Now I felt bad. I knew what it was like to struggle. I sighed and nodded. “I do, but you don’t have to follow me up.”
“Nonsense,” he ignored me, and I knew he’d be a pain in the ass. “My job is to keep you safe. Truthfully, I never understood why Rupert wanted us to stay down here while you were upstairs.”
I dropped my hand and frowned. “Rupert respects my privacy.”
His eyes widened, then quickly averted mine. “Right, of course. Sorry, Ruth.”
“It’s fine,” I said quickly. “I’ll see you in a bit. Feel free to go grab some food if you want.”
“Thanks, Ruth!”
He was very cheery.
I shook my head as I rode the elevator. The guys were just getting warmed up when I stepped into the room. Pete stared over me leisurely. “There she is.”
Liam tilted his head at me. “No blushing brunette?” He was referring to Jayne.
I laughed. “Afraid not.”
“Damn, we really did scare her away for good,” Steve acknowledged.
“She’s not cut out for the entertainment world, but she does a hell of a job taking care of mine,” I told them.
“So…” Liam started, and I braced myself for what I knew was coming. “I thought you had nothing to do with our president?”
Walking over to my favorite spot on the floor, I dropped down. “At the time, I didn’t.”
“And now?”
I shrugged and tried to fight the warm flurries that resided in my chest. “Well…”
“Shit… Are you fuc—sleeping with him?” Pete asked. I didn’t know why he didn’t just say fucking like he wanted to.
I stiffened. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“Oh fuck, she is,” Steve muttered, rubbing his temples.
“He’s bad news, Ruth,” Liam said again with a certain sadness in his eyes that troubled me.
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Just is,” was all he said. “I wish I could protect you, but there’s nothing I can do at this point.”
He was freaking me the fuck out. “What are you even talking about?”
Steve raised from his stool, suddenly furious. “What the fuck does he think he’s doing, anyway? Why would he—”
“Just stop talking, Steve,” Liam cut him off.
Now I felt extremely worried and confused. My pulse thundered in my ears uncomfortably as a horrible, pang filled my insides like I was going to be sick. They knew something about Amit I didn’t, and I could already tell they weren’t going to tell me. And whatever it was could be bad.
My stomach swam with all the possibilities. Was he into something illegal? I’d heard of all sorts of disgusting abusive tales about guys with power like Amit and what they’d done to women and young girls. That couldn’t be it. He didn’t seem the type, but then what was it? What did they know that angered them so much about him? I suddenly had a headache. What hurt wasn’t the fact that the fellas knew something. It was the fact that I knew nothing about Amit.
The door opened and speak of the devil… His presence was one that stole the air as he entered and one I very much felt deep against my soul every time he was close. “Ruth.”
My body reacted as it always did when he said my name. There was always a certain level of fear I felt for Amit even before talking to the guys, but now, I was filled with uneasy energy. At first, I couldn’t figure out why he was here, then I caught sight of takeout in his hand. My fear completely lifted as I got right back up and beamed at him. “Did you bring me food?”
He handed the bag over to me. “I got it for me but if you want it, it’s yours.” Then why come here? Why did he lie? Was it so hard for him to admit to bringing it for me?
I let him pretend even though I honestly thought it was sweet. He was sweeter than me or anyone gave him credit for. Was I the only one that saw it?
“Where’s mine?” Pete asked.
Amit’s expression was that of practiced control as well as unbreakable patience when he smoothly replied, “I thought soulless creatures had no need of food?”
“You’re right.” Liam flashed his teeth. “We don’t.”
There was obvious tension between Amit and the band. Despite it, they took the disparaging comments with ease. “Hey, want to take me somewhere to eat this?” I asked Amit. “I don’t get why you all are like this, but it’s obvious you can’t be in the same room.”
“He’s not a nice guy, Ruth,” Steve stated.
“I see you didn’t heed my warning.” Amit growled at them.
“It’s fine.” Liam was having a staring contest with Amit. “Let him be.”
Amit sighed, reaching for my hand. “Come on.”
Even they must have heard the change in his tone—the quick softness that replaced the angered one because all three of them watched us with rapid interest.
“I’ll be back,” I said quickly as Amit led us out the door.
“Must you hang out with those vermin?” He sighed as he walked down the hallway. He let go of my hand but lingered close to me.
“I like them. They’re good company and great musicians. The real question is why you guys don’t like each other?”
He looked over at me. “We’re too different. Leave it at that.”
I frowned. “You make it hard to get to know you.”
“You don’t want to get to know me.”
I grabbed his arm and pulled him close. “I do. Am I not allowed to?”
“I thought you wanted one thing from me and aren’t I giving it?”
He was right. I had to mentally take a step back. From the very beginning, I was reaching out and trying to touch him in places I had no right to—his mind and his heart.
“You’re right.” I let go of him and resumed walking again. He was a step behind me this time as I took my frustrations out in the way I walked, every step stomped angrily into the tile.
“You’re upset,” he muttered.
I stopped again. “Will you stop trying to read me?”
“I don’t even have to try. I already know everything there is to know about you.”
I ignored him as he led me into his office. His secretary, Diane, eyed us going in and no doubt she saw all the tabloids about us and was deciding what to believe. When the door shut, I rounded on him. “I want you to fuck me right here.”
“Eat,” he muttered darkly. He tried to step by me, but I blocked him, being a nuisance.
“No. Fuck. Me. Not feed me. That’s what this is.”
He scrutinized me. “You’re the one that invited me to an amusement park, remember?”
“You’re the one who wanted to take me somewhere. This is your fault.” I jabbed him in the chest with my finger. “Fuck me right here.”
“Is that what you want?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s what I want. It’s all I want from you.”
Lava settled in my stomach when he shirked off his suit jacket. My anticipation grew as he unbuttoned his shirt. Leaving it open, he reached for me and untucked my shirt from my skirt. Slowly, he unfastened my blouse, each finger like a caress, scorching me until I could take it no longer. His calmness increased my nervousness—unnecessary and a bridge we’d already crossed.
“Why are you going so slow?” I pulled away and yanked at my shirt. I left my skirt on, and walked over to the door, and locked it. Amit’s gunmetal-gray eyes observed me as I approached him. They lit up as he stared at my breasts in the bright green push-up bra. His heated expression but lack of further action fueled me. Deep down, there was a storm raging—a tense, restless force that needed to be acted upon.
Grasping his hand, I pulled him toward his desk. I pushed him against it and moved between his legs as I kissed him. He opened for me immediately. I loved the taste of him, like mocha and roses were crushed together to create something you weren’t supposed to taste but enticed you all the same. We kissed and kissed. I raked my fingernails down his chest, up his arms, and against his back until I finally dragged my lips from his. “Amit, are you going to fuck me?”
Placing his palm flat against my back, he stood and pivoted us around so that I was the one against the desk. His hands roamed to my waist, although strong, were gentle as he hauled me onto the desk, pushed my thighs apart with his knees, and settled between them. The soulful yearning in his eyes spurred me to reach up and pull his face to mine. Instead of kissing, I went on to graze his bottom lip with my teeth. He groaned gravely, and my core throbbed in cadence to his voice, dampening my panties.
“Stop trying to lead,” he mumbled against my mouth before he broke away. Closing his eyes, he breathed in through his nose, then exhaled through his mouth. When he reopened them, he was controlled. His hand roamed over my body, kneaded flesh, pulling me back every time I tried to make him lose his restraint.
When I cupped the bulge in his pants, he hissed and jerked my hand away. My stomach quivered, pooling more heat to my pussy. His breath fell over me like he was in pain, maybe he was, because I couldn’t bear to see his face right now. Every time I met his stare, it consumed me. He looked so broken but hopeful. It was scary. I wanted him to rush our bodies, and here he was, taking it slow with an expression so determined and expectant.
I was breathing heavier by the time he pulled my breasts out of my bra. The second he tugged on a hardened nipple, my legs splayed further apart as I arched into his touch, heart hammering so fast that he could likely feel it. Good God, that felt good. My head fell back, and I lowered myself onto my elbows since his towering size looming over demanded me to. He leaned down at my exposed neck, laving and biting into my skin gently, almost lovingly. His finger slid between the valley of my breasts slow yet erotically. Anxious flurries rolled through me. What was this? We were supposed to be fucking. He was being so tender that my breath was hitching every time he met my gaze with his fevered one. I averted my eyes every time because of it.
I had to be imagining it. I was wrong.
Hot lips pressed upon my neck, then gray orbs were burning a hole through my much darker ones. Again, I darted away. His arms went underneath my thighs, and gently, he hiked them up, pressing my back entirely against the cool marble. My elbows slid through papers on his desk, but that was forgotten as I dropped them and observed Amit above me. The way he watched and savored every little thing he did to me. My skin tingled as he saw and drank in every draw of my breath, every rise and fall of my breasts, and the way his hand traveled over me. He shuddered above me, completely enraptured. It can’t be. But every tease, every look said something even if I would go on to say we were only fucking.
Palming the nape of my neck, he tried to get me to glance at his face, but I wouldn’t. Instead, I turned my head away so he let me be for now, kissing my neck as his other hand slid up my thighs and tugged at my panties. Instead of separating us to get them down my legs, I heard the tear of the fabric and then he bunched them up and discarded them somewhere on the floor. My arms automatically wrapped around his neck, and when I realized we weren’t supposed to have this closeness—especially when it came to my heart and how it loved when he was so close, I let them smack against the desk. He didn’t want that though. Reaching out for my wrists, he pulled them back up to where he wanted them—draped over his neck as he cushioned our bodies together. Why did it feel so perfect, so right—so warm and fulfilling to have him over me this way?
Then the sound of his zipper caught my ear, quickening my pulse. I could feel his eyes on me as he held me down with the sheer width of him. I hid in the crook of his shoulders, hugging his neck. Desire clung to my skin, coating it with desperation. I wanted him so much. My insides were already clenching together. “Legs around me,” he instructed, voice soft yet gruff. I did as he said, anticipation coiling in my stomach as one of his hands bunched up my skirt, then pulled my ass upward until it was aligned with the head of his cock.
“Ruth, look at me.” I hugged him tighter, unable to give him what he wanted. “Soul food.” But he took my heart anyway when he nudged my cheek with his shoulder and grasped my chin with his thumb. Our eyes met as he buried himself inside my welcoming heat. He leaned his forehead against mine as he created chaos throughout my heart, body, and soul. I was teetering at the edge. This man was bound and determined to ruin me completely. I closed my eyes but some force I couldn’t recognize prevented me from keeping them closed. Our eyes met again, and it was that connection between us that sent me spiraling into pleasure and had my entire body quaking. But the true exquisiteness of that moment was how we quaked and trembled together. Even music could never feel this beautiful and all-consuming. It was all in the way we looked at each other.
We weren’t fucking. Not at all. And that terrified me most of all.
Still inside me, he raked his fingers through my hair. “I shouldn’t have brought up what you said about our relationship only being physically. I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Why did it crack my soul? Oh, God, it hurt so fucking bad. To have something so amazing crushed above me, and yet it could never be mine. His weight was solid and warm over me. I wished so bad for things to be different. That I could claim him for my own, but it wasn’t. His gentle words were only breaking me in two. I couldn’t stomach his apology, not when I was leaving this world and someone else would get to keep him, and feel the goodness and the gentleness he rarely showed.
“It hurt you when I said that. I should have asked what do you want to know about me.”
He was telling me what he thought he should’ve said instead. Stop being this way. It was harder when he was sweet. Things were easier when he rarely showed me anything of himself. My vision blurred. “Stop,” I mumbled.
“I don’t have parents, not really. I raised myself,” he went on randomly.
“Don’t speak,” I told him.
“I don’t have any siblings. Or at least none that I know of.”
I shoved him away and out of my body. I hopped off the desk and grabbed my shirt on the floor. I put it on hastily and rushed to the door.
“Ruth.”
The way he said my name tugged at my heartstrings. I didn’t ask for this. “I need some space.” I rushed out of his office still buttoning my shirt. I didn’t care that Diane’s mouth hung open as I hurried by her desk. The sticky trail running down my inner thighs was a reminder of what I fled from.
By the time I made it back to the recording room, my face was hot and hurting. I refused to let the tears out, and I was paying for it. I swallowed past the tightness threatening to close my throat and opened the door. The band took one look at me before they stopped playing.
“I need a drink,” I whispered. “Or two.”
_______
AMIT
I should have followed her. Everything screamed at me to but that was exactly why I didn’t.
Control was life for me. Control was survival. Control was painful and hard and strange.
A trickster. It often led you to believe you were in charge. That nothing would ever knock you off your feet. It would often disguise thoughts and feelings with something else. And it did it for ten years.
No, this wasn’t control. Control was simply a behavior that could go awry once someone else influenced your behavior patterns.
This was all me.
I kept giving too much. And why? What for? Who chased a soul this long? Who stood by and waited for the soul to reach fulfillment before they ate? No other soul reaper I knew. My thought process was above most of my kind. I knew how to survive but surviving meant nothing, really. Not when I was falling prey to all the things that never crossed my mind before.
I refused to go after her. I refused to think about her for hours on end. I refused to keep giving her what she wanted when it wasn’t working. My soul food was still miserable and for some awful reason, it made me miserable too.
She asked for space but that wasn’t why I didn’t go after her. I was done giving her what she wanted. DONE. Soon, the only thing I’d do was take.
When I materialized back at the house where Lars waited, he took one look at me and sighed. “What is it now?”
“None of your concern.” And I refused to give him anything. Lars liked to act like he knew things, but I knew just what kind of disgusting shit gremlins did too. I wasn’t open to taking his advice. Ever. That didn’t stop him from trying to give me his input though.
A few hours later, Ruth called. “Ruth,” I answered immediately.
“Ruth’s not available.” My blood ran cold when one of the vampire’s answered. The leader of the three, maybe. I still had yet to learn their names.
“What did you do to her?” I hissed through the phone.
“Hmm… I wonder.” He was fucking with me. His chuckle slid over me.
“I said the moment one of you guys brought your fangs out around her, you’d be dead.” I growled.
He chuckled in my ear some more, sending me over the edge. “You might get here in time if you come now.”
“Where are you?”
“Heading toward the studio,” he told me. “See ya.” He hung up.
“Fucking bloodsuckers,” I spat as I ported to the studio. “I should have killed them instead of signing that stupid fucking business contract.”
They weren’t inside the building. Since I owned Ruth’s soul, I could find her easily, and I found her outside. I saw the vampires first, standing next to a red car with one of the back doors open. Two stood by the opened door while one was inside with Ruth. My anger reached a new high. I couldn’t remember ever being so furious. Actually, I never recalled being an angry demon at all until setting my sights on Ruth.
One of them looked up and smiled. “He’s here.”
I switched into my human form so I could pulverize them. They had no souls otherwise I’d enjoy pulling them out until tears streamed down their faces.
Another whistled. “Oh, someone’s mad. Switching forms right out in front of the building without a care in the world.” It was dark, but he was right. I normally wasn’t so careless, but I was beyond that. I couldn’t care less if anyone saw me. I wouldn’t be in this world much longer.
Just as I grabbed one by the neck, the leader exited the vehicle. “Put Steve down and relax. She’s right here.”
Still fuming and now confused, I dropped the vampire. “I told you not to touch her. The only reason you are even alive was because I had no interest in you guys, but you fucked up and hurt something that was mine!”
“She’s fine.” He sighed. He raked his fingers through his hair as he nodded toward the back seat. “She’s passed out from drinking too much. We didn’t hurt her, but she is hurting. And I think you know that the only one hurting her is you.”
His words left me at a loss. There was nothing I could say, so I shoved him out of the way and bent down to make sure Ruth was okay. My shoulders released their tension as I took in her curled up body. She was knocked out like he said. I could smell the alcohol on her.
I stood and faced the vampires. “What was the point of this?” I asked.
The leader’s eyes gleamed in the darkness. “Wanted to see where Ruth stood in your eyes, and I’d say I’m satisfied with what I’m seeing.” He stepped closer. “Someone like Ruth dying? It’s wrong.” He frowned and shook his head. “You could have picked hundreds of others that deserved what you are going to do to her. She’s captivated so many, and you’re going to take her away from what she loves most.”
I smirked just because he was irritating me further even if his words caused a stabbing pain in my chest. “No one will ever hear her voice in a month unless it’s a recording, that I can promise you.”
He arched his eyebrow then shrugged. “So you say.”
I shifted back into my reaping form and moved over Ruth lying down and scooped her up.
“Wow, you’re braver than I thought. Aren’t you afraid she’ll wake up?” The leader observed me from behind.
“Anytime she drinks this much, she’ll be out for a while,” was all I said.
I ported with her, taking her inside her house. I tucked her in bed and placed her purse on the floor beside it so she’d think she got herself in. Thinking of the vampires, maybe they’d tell her they took her home if she asked. Either way was fine with me.
Now that she was safely home I could leave, but I didn’t. I stayed and watched her sleep. I began to realize how out of control I was. Ruth was stalked by me for years. I’d been haunting her thoughts as the demon for years, yet I couldn’t for the life of me stop.
Knowing that I was plaguing her mind as much as she was mine was what I liked.
I am in control. I am in control.
I was never in control.
I knew that now.
I tasted her flesh, her desire. I kissed her lips and buried myself deep in her. My soul food had no clue what else I wanted from her.
I couldn’t stop. Not until I had all of her.