Chapter Fifteen
RUTH
I was surprised when my phone started buzzing, and Amit’s name lit up my screen through FaceTime. He’d only left minutes ago and now he was calling me. Desperation was alive and a very real thing inside me, and I hated that I wanted something I couldn’t have with someone I could probably never in a million years figure out. Maybe that was why he was so intriguing.
His aloofness was oddly refreshing in a sea of people that thought they knew and loved me but truly didn’t.
I accepted the video, and his face came into view. The fact that he left when I said he should still burned my throat. I swallowed and met his cold gray eyes and wondered how they looked softer. Why did this infatuation with him continue to grow even now when it hurt so much?
I could tell that he was on a sofa with a floor lamp illuminating his sharp features. How did he get home so fast? Maybe I’d sat here and stared off into space a lot longer than I thought. I didn’t even know where he lived so maybe he was close by.
“Amit.” There was no escaping the astonishment in my voice. “I… You just left. I hadn’t expected you to call.” I rubbed my warm face feeling a little woozy, proof of how much I’d been drinking.
“You need this, don’t you?”
The wine was already like fire in my veins, but his words… They had the power to make me burn. I was suddenly hot all over. I slid my hand down and rubbed my neck. “I don’t understand this.” I whispered. “I know what I get out of this but what about you?” Sometimes I was confident that I was attracted to him, but he also brought out an insecurity I never knew I had.
“That’s simple, Ruth.” My stomach dipped. The way my name vibrated from his chest was sensual as well as utterly primal. “I want what you want.”
“Why?” Those insecurities were what always made me seek out assurance from him.
“Because I like the way you look best when you’re smiling. Everything about you, your smile, your voice, your soul are better when you live life getting what you want.”
He spoke like he knew me. I didn’t even think I knew myself sometimes, but he sounded so confident in what he just said.
My shoulders loosened, and I stared into his eyes through the screen. If I called him out and asked how he could describe me in such a way so soon, he might lock himself up even tighter. I didn’t know how to take his words and how they made me feel warm and whole, but I sure didn’t want to stop him from saying more.
“What if,” I paused, wetting my lips. “What if what I want is you?”
“If that’s what you want, then I’m yours.”
Goose bumps rose on my skin, my desire for him bleeding out of my pores like magic. I couldn’t believe what he’d just said, again, so confident as he spoke like he was one hundred percent in tune with me.
I swallowed, smoothing my hand over my wild curls. If he was on board with him and I, then I was more than that. I wanted any and everything I could take from him. “Don’t worry, you won’t be mine for long. I’ll keep you for about a month and a half, how does that sound?”
My heart nearly stopped when he smirked. Really smirked. It was short-lived and proud but it wasn’t as cold as he usually was. His face disappeared as he pointed his camera down. “Be honest, Ruth, this is what you want from me.” The camera was aimed at the thick, long bulge in his pants.
Oh, God.
I was so turned on now, my pussy was throbbing. “Good,” I murmured so in awe with his hard cock lying against his leg, trapped in his pants. “I was worried you might confuse my words with which part I wanted from you.”
His white dress shirt was slightly unbuttoned, and I caught the dusk of hair on his chest as he raised the camera slightly—not enough to see his face, only his chest. What amazed me was his shoulders and stomach appeared to move in vibrations, crinkling his shirt and my mouth dropped. My heart might have stopped when he smirked, but it moved when I discovered that he might be trying to hold back a chuckle. He enjoyed my teasing. I was stunned into stillness until those small, brief seconds his chest moved were over, and he moved the camera back over his pants. Anticipation coiled inside me, bursting into white, hot need.
“I was never confused,” he confirmed, unzipping his pants.
My mouth went dry when I saw that Amit was commando. I held my breath and waited.
“Get undressed, Ruth.” It took a second for my brain to comprehend but once it did, I rushed into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me, and locking Moose out. I put my phone on my charging port and sat on the bed in front of the screen.
“Oh God,” I whispered throatily as he pulled his pants down a bit and the next second, was gripping his massive cock. It was absolute perfection and a direct contrast to his paleness—long and thick with bluish veins. Desire coursed through me, even making me sway.
“Ruth, you’re not undressing,” his disapproving tone grabbed my attention.
Trying to regain some sanity in my Amit-induced lust, I mumbled, “Yeah.” My gym clothes were like a second skin on me so it took a bit of effort to get them off. I stopped and waited once I was in my sports bra and panties. His wrists rolled as his hand slid up and down his rigid length. He was big. Big, big like shit-that-was-going to-hurt-big. Then a bit of sadness creeped in. I would never know how much he’d make me hurt, or how amazing he’d feel once I’d grown accustomed to his girth.
“You still have clothes on,” he told me.
There was no finesse as I chucked my bra and slid down my panties. His giant hand stilled on his length. “Lie back and part your legs.”
Oh, fuck. He was participating and also commanding. I wasn’t sure if I could handle this. My body was so hot and wound up. I swear my vision began to blur because of it. I scooted back on the bed, lifted my legs, and parted them.
“Reward yourself, Ruth,” he rumbled a low grunt. “Look what you’ve gone and made me do.”
His hand pumped over and over again, arousing and capturing my attention. Slowly, my hand brushed over my stomach and my fingers slipped between my legs. With my other hand, I fondled my breasts, first one and then the other as I rolled a finger over my clit. I paid close attention to the rough way he jacked himself, enraptured and so hungered, wishing it was my body he was plunging into instead of his hand. The need was so controlling; I panted and pulled at one of my nipples until it stung. “Unbutton the rest of your shirt. I want to see more.” He complied mid-stroke, his dick jutted forward—strong and proud the moment he let go. One by one, he undid his buttons until I could make out more of the fine, dark hair defining the hard ridges of his chest. He was perfection, so solid and male that it was intoxicating. I whimpered as I pictured my hands roaming his exquisite body.
“You’re entirely too easy to please.” His words were every bit true, but never with anyone else—only him.
“Yes… You’re finally joining me,” I mumbled honestly. His thick, fully erect cock and his willingness to take himself in his hand for me, I loved it, knowing it was me he was staring at. His eyes on me was all I could have. “I wish I could touch you,” I admitted as I plunged a finger in my pussy and moaned.
His hand stopped once more. “Is that what you want?”
I paused and bit my lip. This was getting dangerous. What if he tried something the next time we met? “I prefer this way. Less messy than actual touching.” I felt better after I changed my words even if I wished it could be different. This was safer even if I wanted more.
“You’re lying.” He still hadn’t started moving his hand again.
I sighed. “You said you weren’t going to touch me and that’s perfectly fine with me.” I was on the verge of whining now that we had stopped over something I had no control over. I wanted Amit. What I did not want was him dead.
He lifted the camera to his face, revealing his scowl. “And we both keep saying things we don’t really mean.”
The video disconnected the next second. He hung up.
What happened? I was more startled than hurt. Maybe I started something I shouldn’t have. I pulled my finger out slowly as my legs shook. My heart was beating ninety miles per second and wasn’t slowing as I took in deep breaths. Oh, God. I didn’t know what would happen from here. I replayed what he just said over in my head, trying to figure out if he really meant what I thought he did. Did Amit plan to touch me? If so, I couldn’t let him even if that meant avoiding the studio.
But he was right. Video sex was never going to be enough for me. No matter how much I convinced myself. I wanted him. I craved him and could do nothing about it.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
Moose started barking, and I jumped as someone banged on the door. My heart rate increased tenfold as I climbed off the bed and hurried to the bathroom to grab my red robe. Once I slipped it on, I washed my hands, then walked through the house to get the door.
“Ruth!” I stopped, eyes widening on the door as his intimating, deep voice boomed on the other side.
It couldn’t be him that’s what I told myself. There was no way. I just saw him sitting on a sofa. He had been home. He couldn’t have gotten here so quickly, but then why was I so nervous?
It’s not him. It’s not him. I eased the door open. It’s him.
I poked my head out. “Amit,” I sounded breathy and nervous. “How did you get here? I saw you at your—”
He ignored me as he pushed the door wide, forcing me and Moose back as he barged into my home and let the door slam behind him. His shirt was still undone. Although his pants were zipped, his rock-hard cock was still obvious. “Amit,” I said more sternly. “What are you doing here?”
“This is the best way.” He stalked closer.
“The best way to what?” I asked as he stepped forward. “Stop.” I held my hands out. “You’re making me nervous. I’m serious. I only ever meant for this to be something we did safely over our phones.”
“Is that right?” He hummed, the sound vibrating through his massive chest.
“Yeah.” I nodded. He crowded my hallway—my entire house was huge but it didn’t seem to be enough to shield me from his overpowering presence. I hated that he flipped me inside out even now when something very bad could happen. He wasn’t stopping. He kept forcing me to back up like a coward until I planted my feet and growled. “Stop! Have you not seen the news surrounding me? I truly am fitted to be named Dark Goddess. Every guy that’s ever tried to kiss me or touch me in any way has died instantly.” He smirked. And it made me livid. “I’m serious. Get out!” I pointed toward the door.
He grabbed my waist and pulled me in.
“Amit, stop!” I pulled, pinched, and slapped at him, but he kept smirking. I was on the brink of tears. “Don’t you see, I’m doing this to protect you? I was totally fine with taking pieces of you over the phone!”
Through my protests and hits, Amit tightened his arm around my waist and pierced my soul with that first kiss. His lips were utterly soft for someone so harsh and searing. My mouth sliding over his was clumsy as I floated in bliss while also fighting to get away. I broke away from him right as his lips parted. He let me pull away, but his hand was firm on my hip, keeping me close. Opening my eyes, I kept blinking and waiting for the world to come crashing down because of my desire. My chest tightened, stomach clenched up as I stared at the light in his grey eyes—waiting for those beautiful orbs to fade. I’m sorry, I wanted to say, but all I could do was stand frozen and wait and whimper. But thirty seconds turned to one minute, then another—eternity could have passed with how quietly Amit watched me, and I him. His eyes were intense and full of lust—yet patient as if waiting for me to come to terms with what had just happened. Or didn’t happen. Silence turned to shock. The soul reaper never showed. Amit was here—heart still beating even after kissing me. That disbelief unlocked years of pent up lust. My body was suddenly a furnace, sizzling sensations consuming my stomach and heating my face.
Amit was right here, jaw clenching tightly as his gaze flickered over my lips and a pained groan tumbled from his lips. My entire body shuddered in response.
I knew his patience was over. My time was up.
Amit tightened his hold on me and kissed me again. This time I met him halfway, slipping my tongue into his parted mouth seeking the taste of him. His tongue was hot, flicking ravenously against mine. This side of him—slightly unhinged—had me humming to the rumble in his chest. Just the sounds we made together had my legs buckling. It was a dark symphony I wish I could record and replay—over and over—his throaty groans and my whispered hums and pants. His fingers dug into my side and then with one arm, he hauled me up against him. I gasped my surprise as he grabbed one of my legs, urging me to wrap them around his waist. “Amit,” I whimpered as I wrapped around him. Running my fingers through his hair, I breathed him in. He smelled divine, tasted even better. Sinfully sweet despite how cold the man was himself.
“Amit,” I said again, winding my fingers into his hair tighter. His teeth grazed my bottom lip as I tugged with the urgency riding through me. “Amit.” Breaking our mouths apart, he nudged my chin until I lifted my neck and then he was biting me there. Every little inch, his teeth would mark then move again. I curled my toes in as I sighed desperately. “You’re here. You’re touching me.”
I couldn’t believe this was real, but every time his pleasurable bites scraped along my collarbone, I knew it was.
He started walking, but I was more focused on bringing his lips back to mine instead of where he was taking me. I bit into them when his head raised before kissing him with fevered sweetness. He propped me up on the island in my kitchen, and the next thing I knew, he lay me down on the hard surface. His lips were swollen and red like a blood-colored rose after my kissing and biting them. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were wild. A large, heavy palm slid up my robe. Once he reached the top, he undid it a little and a swarm of need built in my pussy.
I needed this. I needed him.
Pushing my robe completely open, a warm hand snaked out and caressed one of my breasts before the touch became firmer, stronger until I was arching my body as he caught my nipple between his fingers and tugged.
“You look like dinner,” he told me as he unbuckled his pants. “My soul food.”
Soul food? There it was again. That strange phrase Amit said at the charity event. Strange or not, I kind of liked it.
He pulled his cock out and my stomach tensed—it was even bigger in person. The way it bobbed forward, tempting me, I only grew further aroused. This was going to hurt. Hopefully, the pain would be brief and the ecstasy much longer.
Grabbing my wrist, he pulled me upright, then he gripped my hips, dragged me closer to the edge where his cock smacked my inner thigh. My desperate need for him trailed down the crack of my ass. I was so turned on. I was drenched, and the desire to be filled by him was overwhelming. I panted and squirmed even as he tried to hold me in place.
“Arms around me,” he commanded.
Slowly, my arms came up, but when I saw his urgency I practically hugged him. “Wait, Amit. Not so fast—”
Too late. I cried and hugged his neck tight as he pressed into my opening and buried himself inside me with one brutal thrust. It didn’t matter how wet and ready I was for him, my body hadn’t done this in a very long time, but fuck, if it didn’t feel perfect just the same. My pussy was throbbing around him already and I hadn’t even come yet.
“Perfect,” he said hoarsely.
I closed my eyes and savored the moment. His pulsing dick and the way we fit should be a musical note itself—I could make words to this single second before he began to move.
His thrusts started out slow. He tilted my chin back and nibbled my neck as he pumped in and out of me. I held onto him, simply doing nothing more than breathing into his ear as he worked our bodies. This was one of those times where I wanted quiet—nothing but the lyrical pants of our breathing. Every time his giant shoulders shuddered, I unraveled further apart, like I was becoming one with him. I didn’t know sex could feel this way—so surreal, like instead of being in a dream—we were the dream. Perspiration dampened our skin, and there was a breathless quality to my lungs but only because I felt like Amit was plunging more than just his dick inside me—but passion, hope, creativity—then that part was over and those gentle pumps became brutal. His movements became a little more like the man I knew him to be—callous and flawless. Each ram into me after that came with precision and pain that morphed into a pleasure I had never known before.
I could do nothing but hold on to him as he blurred Heaven and Hell in my mind and made them one. One hand moved under me and cupped my ass while he placed his free arm underneath my knee, hiking it up high as he fucked me. The room was soon filled with the slap of our skins and my heavy pants became louder and more desperate.
Oh, God. He kept relentlessly hitting the same spot over and over. Tossing my head back, I closed my eyes and let all my other senses control me. The sounds of our bodies, Amit’s labored breaths, the way he pounded into my throbbing pussy as he controlled every aspect, never once giving me a say. My desire coiled tighter in my stomach, and I knew I was about to come. When I opened my eyes, Amit was staring directly at my face. His expression was tortured and drawn tight. He was so alluring, especially when his eyebrows were drawn together in ecstasy.
The intensity of our eyes meeting was all it took.
“Amit!” I cried as I shattered into tiny little pieces. My toes curled as I hugged him and let all the beautiful sensations slamming into my body keep me trapped in my feelings. With my shaking limbs, the light blinked over of us like they always did when I came.
Ignoring it though, Amit slowed, but I knew he hadn’t gotten his release yet. I removed my face from his neck and lifted my head to meet his expression. He looked conflicted as his sad eyes fell on my lips, nose, then back up to my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered as I touched his face and placed my lips across his. He groaned, and it made me feel powerful. It made me feel beautiful. I teased his lips with my teeth and tongue as we slowly took even more from each other. His hand left my ass and ran up and down my back until goose bumps broke out over my skin, then his grip tightened on my leg and he lifted me up to meet his last thrust. “Fuck.” He pulled out and a hot, sticky mess covered my stomach as he pushed me back and groaned.
It would have been the sexiest thing I had ever seen if only I had gotten to see it. At some point all the lights turned off, and we were in total darkness. It was bizarre. I was used to the light flickering every time I got myself off, but I had never experienced a blackout. I always thought maybe it had something to do with the soul reaper and remembering that, I reached out into the dark until my fingers found him.
“Amit?” My voice revealed my fear—my terror of the soul reaper taking Amit from me.
“It’s okay.” He grabbed my chin. “I’m sure it’ll come back on in a second.”
Sure enough, it did several seconds later. He was staring at me, well, all over me. I looked down at my stomach. “I should go clean off.”
He pulled away. “I should go.” Before I could be disappointed, he added. “Until tomorrow night.” He grabbed a strand of my hair that lay on my shoulder and let it slip through his fingers before he left me with the remnants of what we just did still on my stomach.
I wasn’t even disappointed. The tenderness I felt between my legs as I showered only aroused me and when I pictured the way he’d fucked me earlier, I shivered under the hot water. I wanted him again. I wanted him again before he even left. Amit’s control was too great for him to have fucked me more than once. It made me want to shatter him completely.
I didn’t know why, but Amit was safe. The soul reaper didn’t hurt him and because of that, I found myself smiling until I stepped out of the shower and stepped on a Red Grace. My happiness vanished and panic set into my heart.
Hurrying to my bedroom, I almost tripped over Moose as I grabbed my cell phone and sent him a text to ease my worries.
Good night.
It took five minutes. Five long, excruciating minutes of fearing the worst before Amit finally texted me back.
Good night.
I crawled into bed relieved and if I was being truthful—with excitement for what tomorrow held.