Chapter Twenty-Five
RUTH
Liam: I’m sorry for what I am. Can you blame us for not saying a word? It’s not the sort of thing you tell people. We’d love to sing with you, Ruth. Honest fact: you’re the reason we came to Black Hearts. You got an amazing set of pipes on you… But more than that, we’re friends.
That was the text I woke up to from Liam the next morning. I wasn’t sure how to respond, or what I supposed to do with the knowledge that they were vampires. They didn’t seem like bad guys, but like I had just come to realize, I had been screwing my would-be killer and had no clue whatsoever. I wasn’t the best judge of character.
Liz…
The demon…
When the next text came in, I was pouring me a cup of coffee. It was from Jayne.
Jayne: Want me to join you at the studio? I figured that’s where you’d go to rehearse.
Jayne: Do you know what song you’re gonna sing?
Her last question left me puzzled. What was I going to sing? My recent lyrics Soul Food slipped inside my head. No. The lyrics were all wrong. A lie… But what if I rewrote them? A stabbing pain snagged in my chest, and I swallowed.
I wanted to. Which meant I needed The Oppressors help after all.
Since my life was a giant infestation of demons and lies, it was no surprise that I jumped a mile when my phone went off. It was bound to happen when one spent all morning in complete silence. I picked up my phone off the counter and saw that it was a number I didn’t recognize.
I answered. “Hello?”
“You think I won’t kill you?” The blood drained from my face when Mr. James spoke. “That I wouldn’t know?”
“Who is this?” I pretended not to know. “And what are you talking about?”
His voice was full of menace. “How could you kill her?”
I couldn’t process or think what I should do or say over the adrenaline and fear coursing through my veins so I hung up and stared at my phone. There was no way he’d know, but he did.
“What is it?” I jumped again at the sound of Lars’s voice. My knees buckled, and I clutched the counter for dear life to keep from crumbling to the floor.
I looked down at him. I couldn’t even get mad. Not after that phone call. I was freaked out about this. “It was Liz’s dad. I think he knows something. Tell your master that.”
“Sire can take care of him, no problem,” Lars nodded as if we were talking about lunch.
“Are you talking about killing someone else?” I screeched. The phone started ringing again—same number, and I silenced it.
“When it comes to you or the lives of any others, you’ll always come first to Sire.” Lars shrugged casually like it was old news.
“You mean my soul,” I corrected him.
“For him, there’s not a difference anymore. You are your soul.”
I hesitated, curious when I didn’t want to be. The gremlin could fill me in on things I didn’t know. “What does that mean?”
He shook his head. “That isn’t for me to say.”
I covered my face with my hands and sighed. “Everything feels so out of control.”
“It will all be over soon,” Lars’s ominous words made me look up from my hands. “I’ll go tell him.” He disappeared before my eyes. There was nothing left to be surprised about now. I just dropped down on the stool beside me and braced myself for the soul reaper’s arrival.
A minute later, he filled up my kitchen space with a scowl as he glanced down at my phone on the counter. “I’ll take care of him,” was what he said to me. No greeting. Not that I expected it. He looked angrier than usual.
“Can you stop killing people because of me?” I rushed out. “Do you have any idea what a heavy burden it’s been carrying around the weight of everyone that has died around me?” I stared at the ceiling and laughed. My shoulders began to quake as I did. “What am I saying? You don’t care. You’re just a heartless demon.”
“Am I supposed to let myself die to appease your standards?”
He stalked toward me, and now I couldn’t figure out how I was brave enough to keep running my mouth.
“I’m never going to be a human. I can’t change what I am. I eat souls which means I kill people. I do have a rule. I only eat the ones that don’t deserve to live.”
I jumped out of my seat at that last part, getting too close to him in the process. I could feel his heat pressing against me. How did a demon like him have a body temperature? “Then why me? Does that mean I’m a horrible person?”
His veins protruded from his arms and forehead. “You are the exception. Do you think I want to be here in the human world for ten years trying to please your soul?” he threw back.
“If it’s so hard, then why are you?” I growled in return. It was amazing how contained he kept himself. He was obviously angry, but every word he spoke was a lot calmer than mine.
He grabbed his forehead and shook his head. “If I could stop myself from this madness, I would.” He lifted his head. Red eyes weighed heavy on my dark ones. “I am very aware of all the foolish things I’m doing and as much as I should stop, there’s no way I will.” His eyes fell over me as his chest expanded out with his next deep breath. “Not until I have you.”
“Stop looking at me like that, soul reaper,” I hissed, heat biting every part of my body as if it was an itch waiting for him to scratch.
“Soul reaper?” His eyebrow shot up. “Say my name like you use to.”
He moved closer. I backed away.
“Angry. Scolding. Sad or tenderly. When you’re moaning, I don’t care. I like any way you say it, but as long as you say it.”
“Mr. Kingston?” I had a lot more nerve than I thought. Goading the demon when I knew that wasn’t his name either. Goose bumps covered my flesh. Fear and want collided inside me. I’ve never been so torn over something in all my life. Should I push, or should I pull? Should I give in or give up? I knew what I wanted to do, but I feared what that said about me.
He smirked, and the mood shifted into something stronger. More potent. Because he gave me the illusion of peace and normal. A flash of his teeth stole more of my resolve.
The want I kept ignoring came raging forward.
“That’s not my name.” He stopped moving closer. He placed a hand in his pocket as the other stretched forth. “Come here.” He offered his hand to me.
I melted under his gaze. “Don’t do this to me,” I broke. “You’ve already done enough—too much.” I wiped my eyes. The sounds I made as I cried bounced around the walls.
When I looked back up, the soul reaper was gone. In his departure, more flowers laid on the floor where he had stood.
_________
AMIT
Splintered. Fractured. Her pain was my pain.
For a clever, level-headed demon, I let myself be ignorant for far too long. Ten years to be exact. Now I was paying the price for ignoring our souls. And the way they lingered and longed for one another. Hers sung to mine. She didn’t even know it. How could she know her soul called to mine days before she sang to me in person ten years ago? And how I promised myself I would devour that soul for being so beautiful, so bright and for seeking out mine—a demon’s. Humans and demons weren’t meant to be. Most of the Underworld forbade it, but that didn’t mean it stopped demons from seeking out humans. A soul reaper to find his soulmate in a human? It was ridiculous. To think of wanting a human which harvested the very souls we ate? Absurd.
I wasn’t a wrathful demon. I wouldn’t call myself mean. I lived by my own set of rules, but I never killed for pleasure. One form of mine was similar to a human yet to be matched with one? It wasn’t something I could accept.
So I tried to devour her soul ten years ago, and the only thing I did was become the owner of it instead. And what did I do? I made sure she got what she wanted.
I thought I was in control…
Control took a shit on me in the form of fate. I’d never been in control. My reckless need to be near her and give her what she wanted was not because I wanted to make her soul happy. No. The truth was my reaping form wouldn’t go anywhere unless she was there too. And when she wanted me, I should have been more honest with myself then. Now that she was rejecting me my soul let me know how bad I fucked up.
No. It had been letting me know for years. Only I kept ignoring fate, and now more than anything, I wanted Ruth Thomas to look at me like she once had.
For ten years, I’d been plaguing the life of the only thing I’ve ever yearned for.
I didn’t think soul reapers knew how to love.
Only I thought at least one might know now.