Chapter 10
Max
Lacey was the first girl I fucked solely for myself.
I had no intent to lure her back home to work for my dad. Hadn’t been tasked out to make her think I liked her in some sick mission for him. I was no longer that teenage boy too afraid to defy my sadistic father to deny him what he asked of me. And she didn’t already work for him on the streets selling her time, body and soul because he managed to sink his claws in deep and ruin her life to the point she had no other options.
Fucking her wasn’t simply an easy means to an end. She wasn’t caked in enough make-up and hair products to be spotted a block away in the dark, trained to sexualize her every move in order to lure in men while simultaneously covering the bruises she sported from my father’s hand.
No. Lacey was none of those things.
She was natural. Soft. Innocent of the type of life I grew up with. The type of life I helped drag others into to prevent more beatings dished out to me. In fact she was completely different from anything I was used to.
I didn’t deserve her but fuck I wanted her. And she wanted me back something fierce judging by the way she climbed on top of me with reckless abandon last night and rode me into delirium before binging on pizza and The Walking Dead for hours.
Touching her had been a mistake. Asking for her number had been a mistake too. I knew that long before I did it. Never intended to ask for it when I went to the coffee shop to study that day. We had been teetering in dangerous, uncharted territory.
The plan had been to write my paper at my usual table that day and leave. And if I were being honest with myself I just wanted to be near her. To feel her presence. I felt so drawn to her despite knowing I was going down a dark path that had only ever had one outcome.
If I had a different father, a different upbringing, I would want nothing more than to be with Lacey. Really be with her. Hand holding, kissing, dating. The whole nine yards. Part of my soul tugged me in that direction regardless of the warning sensors blinking every time I looked at her.
But I wasn’t good for someone like her. I couldn’t redeem myself of what I had done in my past or what I continued to overlook in my current life. What I continued to do.
I may no longer be an active participant to the same extent as before as far as the girls went but deep seated fear kept me rooted in place, unable to put a stop to what I knew occurred on a daily basis under my father’s roof.
Fear stood in my way any time I ever considered severing ties with him. Reporting him to the police and letting justice unfold.
I was lucky enough that he left me alone for the most part while I attended college. That had been a hard won battle. But to think I could ever fully escape his clutches would be fucking stupid.
And stupid I was not.
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Stupid. I was so fucking stupid.
I had reassessed my former opinion on my intellect as I stood in front of Lacey’s door the next night. I concluded that I was, in fact, stupid as fuck. The stupidest man alive most likely.
I knew the dangerous reality of dragging her into my life. I knew how this always turned out. But when she texted me to come over after she got off work I came running without a second thought.
Hooked.
Horny.
Hard.
When I saw her standing in the doorway in nothing but a silk robe and a smile I decided common sense and decency were highly overrated and could probably wait until tomorrow. What the hell did one more day hurt? One more time?
The days blur together like that, both of us swept up in a whirl of hot sex followed by my resolve that she’s better off staying away from me. She never listens.
I worry about pushing her too far knowing what she went through the night we met. It’s an unspoken worry and she pursues me with intensity and passion that almost makes me forget. She never brings up that topic again after the first night. I don’t know if that’s healthy but I’m content with waiting for her to deal with it when she feels ready. It isn’t my place to force therapy or pressing charges no matter what I think is best for her.
Besides…I had handled David. He won’t be a problem for her again.
I knock on Lacey’s door and wait for her to open. I headed straight to her apartment after class ended. This has become our new pattern. Her hands clutch my shirt as she pulls me inside and wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her body flush against mine. She had to be expecting me before I got here. It was no surprise really. It was the same thing we had done for the last couple of weeks like clockwork.
We stumble down the hallway and fall onto her bed in a smooth, practiced motion. Clothes fly off. I roll on a condom and am inside her within two minutes of knocking. I bet the neighbors fucking hate us. Our moans are loud enough to wake the dead, blending together as one solid and ongoing sound.
“Harder.” She begs.
I grant her wish, pumping my hips faster.
Deeper.
Harder.
This girl is an insatiable dream and I don’t want to wake up from it.
“I’m about to cum.” I groan into her shoulder and bite down gently. She moans again in response.
“Do it! Let me make you cum.”
That’s all it takes to push me over the edge. I spasm inside her and she lets go too, constricting around me with a tight squeeze. I can’t seem to get enough of this girl.
I’ve had her on her kitchen table after we ate the spaghetti she cooked for us last night. The day before that it was next to the front door with me pressing her back against the wall and pounding her because neither of us could wait long enough to get to the bed. Before that it was in my car after I picked her up from work, her riding me in the driver’s seat while we parked on the side of a dark road.
The list went on and on.
We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. And I was beginning to stop thinking about even trying.
It felt too good. Too right if I was honest with myself. But that was a risky thought so I pushed it off each time it crossed my mind, focusing instead on the burning lust. The unquenchable desire. The way she felt wrapped snugly around my cock.
No one had ever felt so perfect.
We laid side by side on her bed listening to the sound of our erratic breaths evening out. My heartbeat slowed to a normal pace as I came back down from the high of Lacey. Slowly logical thought returns and I gather my discarded clothes from the floor to get dressed. Lacey stays on her bed tangled naked in her peach sheets watching me.
“You could stay if you want.”
She had offered before a couple times. Each time I’ve said no.
There’s no way in hell I could spend the night and pretend this wasn’t an actual thing between us. It would be a first for me. I just couldn’t do it. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
“Nah. I better get home. I have class in the morning. Didn’t bring any clothes.”
She stares at me with her pretty brown eyes and seems to look right through me. She’s not buying that excuse.
“You know…you could bring some tomorrow. When you come back.”
There she goes. Speaking our unspoken truth. We both knew I was coming back tomorrow. I was here every damn night for the past several weeks. But it made my skin feel tight to hear her point it out. Made me think of where this thing between us was headed.
I leave without much comment on her offer. Hightail it out of here as fast as I can without hurting her feelings. She says goodbye but stays in bed while I see myself out. I lock her door on my way out and drive home in a haze, completely lost in thought.
And I don’t go back to her apartment the next night.