The energy shifted the moment he stepped back onto the bottom floor. I could feel it, the way the tension increased and pulsed with every move he made. How it grew and grew the closer he came.

The man had already brought me to my knees with his mind-bending kiss.

By the heat of his touch and by the need in my body.

And then—just as fast as it’d started—he ended it. Ripped himself away. As if touching me was something wicked.

Hurt tried to crawl up and take shelter in my chest, and I struggled around it as I tinkered my way through the song on the piano, pretending as if I didn’t feel more emotionally vulnerable in this moment than I had in all my life.

“I think you’re a natural.” His words were a coarse caress that blasted across my skin.

A tiny sound climbed my thickened throat, landing somewhere between a self-deprecating laugh and a cry. “It’s a child’s song, Zachary.”

I could sense him behind me and off to the side, as if he didn’t want to step too close.

“No song is less important than another.” Voice so low it was dangerous to my sanity.

He inched forward, the air pulsing with each uncertain step. “How many lives do you think that song has impacted? How many souls has it touched? How many mothers have rocked a child to sleep while they hummed this song? It’s a child who believes. Never, ever take that fact for granted.”

His breath barely kissed along the bare skin of my shoulder, and I ached for him to again breach the space. I wanted to feel him.

Everywhere.

I’d always chased after experiences. I’d always loved the feel of the sun on my face and believed in the power of a falling star.

This boy felt like both wrapped into one. Life and death. A beginning and an end.

I fumbled across the keys, trying to make it through the song before I finally broke and jerked around to face him. “What is happening between us?” Wildly, I gestured. “Between you and me? Because it feels like something important.”

His voice was rough. “I wish it could be…something important.”

“Why can’t it be?” Desperate confusion flooded from the words.

Something bleak edged his expression. “Because we can’t always have the things we want.”

I blinked up at this complicated, perplexing man. “What is stopping you from taking what you want? Because it’s not me.”

And there I was. Running toward danger. Heart-first, just like Chelsey said.

“That’s the thing, Alexis. I see you looking at me the way you do. Like we could be somethin’. And I want it so fucking bad. To be something to you. To be good for you. But I ruined that possibility a long time ago and I’m not sure there are enough pieces left to give any of them to you. That’s my truth.”

As if he could no longer stand, Zee dropped down to his knees in front of me. Like an offering.

I shifted the rest of the way around on the bench so I could meet him eye to eye.

Reaching out, I ran my thumb across the tense lines on his forehead, my head angled as I studied him, searching for an answer. “Who do those pieces belong to?” My head shook. “Who do you belong to, Zee?”

Low, gutting laughter rolled out from some place hidden within him. “I belong to my mistakes. To the choices I made a long time ago. Now, it’s a matter of remaining loyal to them. Remembering what I owe.”

His gaze shifted to the windows before he looked back to me and edged forward an inch. My knees shook with the urge to drop open, to make room and beckon him to me.

“Doing this…inviting you here…is probably the most reckless thing I’ve done in years.”

My heart sank. Why did him admitting that have to hurt so much?

Both for him and me. Because I could see it, written all over his gorgeous face. His expression was riddled with pain and regret.

“Then why am I here?” I pushed.

Humorless laughter rolled from him as he moved forward to hold onto the bench on either side of me.

Those bronze eyes pinned me to the spot.

Mesmerizing. Intoxicating.

“Because I can’t seem to stay away from you, even if I know doing so is only for my own good. For your own good. But I need this, Alexis. Just as much as you do. I’m giving you the sliver I have left. A few moments in the midst of the bullshit that I made my life. And yeah, it’s stupid and reckless and careless…”

He scooted forward, and I could feel him giving. Just a fraction. His big body barely prodded at my knees as he climbed between them to invade my space.

That self-preservation was nowhere to be found when I breathed him in.

Cedar and spice and sex.

I wanted to lean forward and inhale. Memorize everything about him. Because somewhere inside me, I knew one day he would simply disappear.

His hands landed on my waist, and he tugged me forward. Low and desperate, the petition spilled from his mouth.

“But I need this, Alexis. I need to know you’re safe and, for a little while, I just…I need you. I need to remember what it’s like to be a part of something beautiful. And I fucking know it’s about the most selfish goddamned thing I could do…to ask you to stay when we aren’t playing for keeps. But I know you need a little bit of this, too. This feeling. So for the little bit of time we have, let me stand by your side. Let’s pretend like this is something we could possibly have.”

My entire being trembled. “What happens when you break my heart?”

His fingers dug deeper into my flesh. “You don’t give me that power. When that bastard is behind bars, you walk away. You find someone who can give you all the things I can’t.”

Part of me wanted to be relieved to have any piece of him. Willing to take whatever he would offer.

The rational side of me resisted. The part that rang with a warning my conscious couldn’t ignore. “Why does this…us…being here…feel wrong? Why does it feel like we’re doing something wrong?”

He wound one of those big hands up in my hair. “You could never, ever be wrong, Alexis. What you have to remember is I am. And there are some things I can’t tell you and the public can’t know about us—about this—but I promise, I won’t ever lie to you.”

I bit at my bottom lip. “You want me to be your dirty secret.”

His face blanched, and his fist constricted in emphasis. “God. No, Alexis. It’s not you who’s dirty.”

And I knew it then. It was him who held all the secrets.

Dark, deep, and destructive.

If I were smart, I’d get up and run. But that didn’t change the fact I felt desperate to get behind those secrets, to see what they meant and why they caused him so much pain.

“The tabloids…they say you’ve never been spotted with a girl. They’re always speculating…coming up with reasons why you’ve lived a life so different from the one the rest of the guys used to. Is that true…that you’ve never been with anyone since you’ve been a member of Sunder? Or do you keep secrets like me everywhere you go?”

I didn’t want it to come out like some kind of accusation or pathetic jealousy, but even if he didn’t realize it, he was asking me to put my heart on the line.

He already had me so mixed up, questioning everything. Who we were and who I wanted us to be.

“I haven’t been with anyone in a long, long time, Alexis.”

“Why now?”

Frustration jetted from his mouth. “Why now? Why? Because of you, and you couldn’t have come crashing into my life at a worse time.”

Tears threatened to gather, but Zee…he looked at me so tenderly that it tugged at all those secret places inside me.

He cupped my chin. “You came at the goddamned worst time, Alexis. But I guess it’s true what they say—the best things always do.”

“Then what do we do?” I gulped around the affected words. “I feel like you’re asking me to have a temporary relationship with you. That it ends the second that monster is in a cell.”

“We can’t have a relationship, Alexis. The only thing I know is I want to steal as many moments with you as I can until there aren’t any left.”

Choked laughter rolled off my tongue. “So, you’re going to keep your hands to yourself?”

The faintest smile pulled at his mouth. “All I’m saying is I can try. You make me wish for things I don’t deserve to have. To believe in wishes coming true. To believe in us… even when I know it’s just pretend.”

“This is crazy.” The words sounded like submission.

He fiddled with a strand of my hair, rubbing it between his fingers. “Well, since we already established you’re insane, this should be easy.”

“Goofball.” It came out soggy with affection. This boy was doing things to me he shouldn’t have the power to.

Tucking the piece of hair behind my ear, he sighed and glanced toward the giant clock that hung on the wall. “Shit,” he muttered as he edged back an inch. “Hour has already passed. I have to go. Guys are expecting me for practice tonight.”

“Oh.” I didn’t mean for it to come out so disappointed.

Apologetic, he rubbed his palm over his mouth, and I watched in wonder as his demeanor changed course and this light affection climbed into his eyes.

It was right then I saw two sides of him clash.

“Next tour kicks off in about four weeks. Last year, we took it pretty easy with all the family stuff going on, but it’s time we got back on the road before the fans go and forget about us. We’re working through a few kinks for the set, trying to grab onto the vibe. Get our hearts back in the music. All the guys and their families are in town to prepare, so it’s kind of a mandatory thing. I don’t show and they’ll basically come over here and round me up anyway.”

“That’s okay. It’s your job,” I told him.

“Yeah, but it’s more than that. We might not have the same blood flowing through our veins, but we’re family. A team. Even if it wasn’t part of my job to show, I’d want to be there.”

His smile was softer than I’d ever seen. “Their wives kind of like to mom me considering I’m the loner of the bunch.”

Affection. It was so apparent. Easy in his eyes. I couldn’t help but feel happy for him, that he had people who clearly meant so much to him.

“Honestly, it’s fine. I completely understand.” I glanced behind me at the piano. “We kind of got sidetracked.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, guess we did. Not sure I have it in me to complain.”

It would probably do us good to put some space between us anyway. Some time away to figure out what all this meant.

Standing from the bench, I leaned down and grabbed my bag from where I’d dropped it on the floor. I could feel Zee rising behind me.

Could feel him deliberating. Contemplating.

“Come with me.”

Shocked, I spun around to face him. “What?”

“You heard me. Come with me.” It was so gruff that I couldn’t tell if it was a request or a demand.

I blinked up at him. “I feel like that might send mixed signals. You just told me we couldn’t be seen together.”

He shrugged. “Let my crew think what they want to think, but this is about that sliver of time we have. With the shit that’s getting ready to go down, I’m pretty sure that time’s going to run out and fast. And if there’s anyone I trust to have my back? It’s them. Things are calm enough out at their place, so we don’t have to worry about paps hopping out of a bush to snag a pic. It’ll be cool.”

“Are you sure?” Because I wanted this. To be in his space. A part of his time. Even if it was fleeting.

I watched the heavy bob of his throat when he swallowed. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay…what’s the address?” I started to rummage through my bag to find my phone so I could input the address.

His expression shifted. Something powerful flashed behind that dark, dark veil.

Then a smirk climbed to his mouth. That mouth that had been on mine less than twenty minutes ago. That mouth that had consumed and drugged and made me want things I was sure I’d never before desired.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips. I took a fumbled step backward.

Oh God. This was the side of Zee I wasn’t sure I could handle.

The wicked side that promised mayhem and chaos. A side that was wild and reckless. The side that decided if he was giving in even a little, he was going to take everything he could while it was there.

Hungry. Greedy. Possessive.

“Oh no, Alexis. What kind of man would I be if I let you drive over there alone? Think tonight you ride with me.”

Why did that sound like a threat?

My eyebrows rose to my hairline, and there I was again, clutching my big bag as if it were a shield. “Ride?”

Zee reached out and unwound the straps of my bag from my shoulder and then pried it out of the clutch of my hands. He tossed it to a nearby chair.

Sweet, seductive arrogance. It played around his lips and danced in the ferocity of his eyes. “You won’t be needing that.”

A flare of excitement flashed through my being, this rush of exhilaration that stampeded through my veins.

Chelsey had always warned me I had zero self-preservation.

She was right.

Because there was no way I wanted to miss this experience with him.